OLN: The Devil's Spice

Project of creative fiction that can be related to light novels or of an original nature.

Moderators: Fringe Security Bureau, Senior Editors, Senior Translators, Alt. Language Translator/Editor, Executive Council, Project Translators, Project Editors

User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

Image

Akuma no Koumiryou or The Devil’s Spice is an original light novel written and illustrated by Kanda Hikaru and edited by Kyle Tolray.

Genre:
Action, Comedy, Tragedy, Psychological, Cyberpunk, Quasi-Harem

Story Synopsis:

What does it mean to be fair?

Ageha, chef by day and cyborg assassin by night, kills to confirm his answer to that question.

After taking out one of the richest and most powerful men in Japan, he finds Kaika, the victim’s prodigy daughter, seeking him out, not for revenge, but for her own dangerous ambitions.

The deceptive and mischievous teen offers the young man a deal he cannot refuse.

Ageha needs to juggle restaurant kitchen politics, his own bloodlust, and his new moonlighting job.

Kaika has her hands full orchestrating corporate backchanneling while trying to keep a leash on her incredibly capable, perhaps too capable, new employee.

With life and death on the line, the dubious alliance between these two broken individuals leads to-

*BANG*

“Don’t spoil the meal! We haven’t even served the first course!”

Foreword:

I am a big fan of light novels, and after having read through numerous titles and volumes, I have finally decided to write one myself. I also serve as the illustrator for this work. This light novel is edited by my reader turned editor, Kyle Tolray. It is hosted on my wordpress blog.

I am a frequent user of Baka-Tsuki though mostly as a lurker. This site has introduced the light novel medium, if it should be categorized as that, to me. Light novels have become one of my favorite forms of entertainment, so I wanted to express my gratitude by doing something to contribute to the online light novel community. I hope you enjoy my first attempt at writing at such length.

Volume 1: The Devil's Spice - Wordpress / PDF / Wattpad

Chapter One: A Splash of Red

Chapter Two: Oil and Acid

Chapter Three: Emulsion

Chapter Four: Resting

Chapter Five: Blanched

Chapter Six: Breakage

Chapter Seven: Best Served Cold

Chapter Eight: Ripening

Chapter Nine: Merenda

Chapter Ten: Salt and Pepper

Chapter Eleven: Defrost

Chapter Twelve: Unveiling

Chapter Thirteen: Marination

Chapter Fourteen: Flash Freeze

Chapter Fifteen: Boiling Point

Epilogue

Illustrations -Possible Spoilers-

Definition of Terms

Volume 2: Winter Storm - Wordpress

Chapter One: Cenacolo

Chapter Two: Late Night Delivery

Chapter Three: Squall

Chapter Four: Tenderized

Chapter Five: Secret Ingredient

Chapter Six: The Two Fishes

Chapter Seven: Substitution

Chapter Eight: Taking Orders

Afterword:

Special thanks go to Kyle Tolray for doing a fantastic job editing this light novel. I have learned many things from your work, and I hope I can apply them to the following volumes.

Gratitude goes to my pilot reader who has contributed greatly to the story content by sharing his ideas. He also pointed out parts that are too cryptic, an issue that I have struggled with in my writing. This story is far easier to understand because of his help. His impressions on the illustrations also prevented me from publishing physically abnormal characters.

Many thanks go to the readers who have actually completed the novel. Your comments and insights are greatly appreciated. Know that I consider all of your input when writing the continuation of this story.


Note: (not edited out to preserve the flow of the first few posts)
One of my goals in writing this light novel is for it to be placed in the Original Light Novels section on the front page of the Baka-Tsuki website. I am not sure what it takes to be hosted there, so it would be greatly appreciated if someone could inform me if there are certain requirements.
Last edited by Kanda Hikaru on Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:05 pm, edited 15 times in total.
User avatar
gamerbaki
Haruhiist Specialist
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by gamerbaki »

You need nothing in particular in order for your story to get hosted here; except that you must attempt to gain popularity here which is--in my own experience, better said than done.

Anyway, I am looking forward to your work! :D
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

Thanks for the information! I am glad that you are planning to read my work. I spent a lot of time on the edits, rewrites, and illustrations, but having actual readers makes me feel that the effort was definitely worth it.

The chapter links are below. I think they would be easier to access this way.

Chapter One: A Splash of Red

Chapter Two: Oil and Acid

Chapter Three: Emulsion

Chapter Four: Resting

Chapter Five: Blanched

Chapter Six: Breakage

Chapter Seven: Best Served Cold

Chapter Eight: Ripening

Chapter Nine: Merenda

Chapter Ten: Salt and Pepper

Chapter Eleven: Defrost

Chapter Twelve: Unveiling

Chapter Thirteen: Marination

Chapter Fourteen: Flash Freeze

Chapter Fifteen: Boiling Point

Epilogue
oyabun
Reader
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:39 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by oyabun »

Interesting concept! I've read chapter 1-6 so far and I am liking it. It seems there are also illustrations per chapter too.
User avatar
gamerbaki
Haruhiist Specialist
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by gamerbaki »

It is a nice thing to give tons of effort for your story to become productive. It also reflects to the writer him/herself that he/she is serious to his/her stuff. To be honest, that is one of the assets most of the story writers lack causing them to drop their story. I hope that your story would reach your desirable end.

On a sidenote--I just read the Chapter 1 in front of the PC and somehow, what picked my interest here the most is Kaika herself, as if she is hiding numerous motives behind everything around her.

Great way of opening the curtains to your story.

I'll just make a .txt file of it so I can read it through my phone.
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

@gamerbaki -

I am happy that you seem to have enjoyed it. Yes, Kaika is indeed the mysterious character in the story, and fortunately, that was delivered properly.

When I wrote the first chapter, it was nothing like the current version. I had to rewrite most of it several times because I learned better grammar as I wrote the story. Chapter 1, losing more than 1000 words, changed the most drastically. A friend of mine who reviewed the first draft said that I was trying too hard to fit in too much information in the first chapter, whose purpose is to attract the readers and invite them to continue the story. I used to write short stories but did not have experience writing longer narratives, so I probably defaulted to that style.

On a side note, will you be able to view the illustrations if you convert the chapters to txt file?
oyabun
Reader
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:39 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by oyabun »

Correction, not all chapters have illustration :oops:. I really like Saya's art.
User avatar
gamerbaki
Haruhiist Specialist
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by gamerbaki »

Nope, because I care for the text more than the illustrations.

Anyway, illustrations can actually add appeal to the story
(I still wish that I can draw well)
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

@gamerbaki - I see. I think part of what makes a light novel what it is are the illustrations. Some scenes just have more impact with some visual assistance. It also helps because it shows the character design. Facial descriptions never go into detail in LNs because of that. Well, excluding the hair, anime characters of a certain art style tend to look similar anyway.
User avatar
Zephyranthes
Astral Realm

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Zephyranthes »

Was searching the net yesterday for LNs to read and found this thread. The cover artwork looks interesting. Will update further as I read the chapters.
User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

Thanks for the comment! I would appreciate any thoughts about the novel, so feel free to give your comments and/or criticisms.

I am glad you liked the cover page. There are several more illustrations in the book, which I hope serves as an incentive for you to continue reading. They were drawn partly for that purpose, after all.

I am currently doing the outline for volume 2, so any suggestions for that is welcome as well.
oyabun
Reader
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:39 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by oyabun »

I have finished reading it. Aside from the action I've enjoyed the discussion especially the comedy and teasing regarding Saya. The chemistry between the characters are well balanced, you mix it up with good fighting which I very much like,

I wanna discuss it but it will be hard not to spoil. Any plans for book 2? I'm definitely looking forward to it.
User avatar
gamerbaki
Haruhiist Specialist
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by gamerbaki »

Yo!

I already finished reading your LN.
Looking on the technical side of the story; the grammar is fine. The sentence construction is good as well. The way how you organize the events as well as their thoughts are good as well. The selection of words are well-balanced although I admit that there are some words that I fail to comprehend easily (maybe because you use some words that are usually used in a literary piece which made sense for you who had written numerous short stories). Throughout the entire story, it is a smooth-read as well as has a smooth flow of events.

Now, for the personal side:
Spoiler! :
I kinda like how the characters were introduced one at a time. They even look like they have some secrets in their sleeves--even Rin. I was also moved in Ageha's sad past (maybe chapter 7 or 8) which also contributes to his present state. I suddenly wonder where Airi and Jin are because there are now further events regarding them. Perhaps, they will show at the further parts of the story.

As for the MC's

1. Kaika remained mysterious to me. I mean, she has ridiculous methods of fulfilling including......okay , let's leave it for now.
2. Saya is one typical kuudere character in which when she shows some emotions to Ageha, it is kinda cute.
3. Kureha, on the other hand is like the mascot of the three women. She shows more cuteness compare to the earlier girls. Although I didn't like what happened to her. You even made her as a profile pic despite of what happened to her.

4.As for Ageha himself:

He is one of the stereotype passive harem protagonists, where he gains harem even if he don't really intends to do so.
Also, he's a badass--and a lolicon (it's already given).
Well, that's all I can say for now for the story.
I'm sure that Kaika still has something on her sleeves knowing that she did not fulfill her objective yet.

I can only say a generic advice to you:
Spoiler! :
PERSEVERANCE.

That is one of the assets most of the writers here lack. Some of my colleagues here, dropped their best works making me a bit disappointed for the story their made. That is also the reason why there are few OLN's hosted in Baka-Tsuki. Try to browse the upper threads of this section to prove what I just said. At the least, try to finish your story and who knows, it might get hosted here sooner than expected.
Hope you read Tales of Mysidia as well. I am constantly updating the story whose events are already done some time ago. You can check my thread if you have extra time as well. :D

I look forward to the next installment of the story :)

--gamerbaki
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
User avatar
Kanda Hikaru
Devoted Haruhiist
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:18 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Tsukumodo Antique Shop

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by Kanda Hikaru »

Thanks for the awesome review! It is quite comprehensive and gave me a lot of insights on how the characters are viewed by the readers. I am happy that the writing style and structure did not turn you off. I realize that ease of reading is one of the selling points of light novels, but I still wanted to add some flair to the text. Some of the banter and wordplay might be lost on some, but that is fine because those are short bonuses anyway. I think it is okay if the readers think that the characters are just pedantic jerks who prattle or keep beating around the bush because that is practically what they are doing sometimes (lol).

Now for the personal comments:
Spoiler! :
I actually created Kureha intending for her to die. The first draft of the novel made her seem too shallow because of that. I had to add a chapter and rewrite several scenes with her in it to make the reader care for her. Merenda is the chapter made specifically for that. I do hope that you not liking her fate means that I somehow succeeded in making her likable. I actually did the illustrations after the first draft, and after seeing Kureha in the art, I felt really tempted to keep her alive. However, I resisted because her death was integral to both Ageha and Kaika's character development.

Did Ageha really come off as a lolicon? I had intended for him to be nice to Kureha but not because he liked lolis.

What did you think about how much of an anti-hero Ageha is? I mean, he killed a person just because the man added salt to his dish (lol).

Did you catch the references in the story? There are actually several nods to different anime and LNs in it. If you would like to know what, then please tell me and I will post it in a spoiler tag.
And about your advice:
Spoiler! :
Those are some wise words. I did notice that the Baka-Tsuki forums have little traffic in the OLN section. It has honestly taken some of the wind out of my sails because it felt like the effort I spent was not being compensated. However, after hearing your consolatory advice, I am now determined to continue this story. Volume 2 actually has an outline already, and as typical of shounen light novels, a new girl will be introduced. She will be in the cover page.

I will be taking a break from writing for now, and will give your story a read. I was busy dragging my life back to normal after the few months I spent creating the first novel.
User avatar
gamerbaki
Haruhiist Specialist
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:00 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Philippines! (It's more fun in here! :P)

Re: OLN: The Devil's Spice

Post by gamerbaki »

Kanda Hikaru wrote:Thanks for the awesome review! It is quite comprehensive and gave me a lot of insights on how the characters are viewed by the readers. I am happy that the writing style and structure did not turn you off. I realize that ease of reading is one of the selling points of light novels, but I still wanted to add some flair to the text. Some of the banter and wordplay might be lost on some, but that is fine because those are short bonuses anyway. I think it is okay if the readers think that the characters are just pedantic jerks who prattle or keep beating around the bush because that is practically what they are doing sometimes (lol).


Well, I'm used to these kinds of styles since I am already reading LNs for more than 3 years. Just maintain the balance between simple and literary words and it will be okay.
Kanda Hikaru wrote:Now for the personal comments:
Spoiler! :
I actually created Kureha intending for her to die. The first draft of the novel made her seem too shallow because of that. I had to add a chapter and rewrite several scenes with her in it to make the reader care for her. Merenda is the chapter made specifically for that. I do hope that you not liking her fate means that I somehow succeeded in making her likable. I actually did the illustrations after the first draft, and after seeing Kureha in the art, I felt really tempted to keep her alive. However, I resisted because her death was integral to both Ageha and Kaika's character development.

Did Ageha really come off as a lolicon? I had intended for him to be nice to Kureha but not because he liked lolis.

What did you think about how much of an anti-hero Ageha is? I mean, he killed a person just because the man added salt to his dish (lol).

Did you catch the references in the story? There are actually several nods to different anime and LNs in it. If you would like to know what, then please tell me and I will post it in a spoiler tag.
True, Ageha can be sometimes unreasonable and in my opinion, I still feel it as normal. There are still worse characters than him in the first place but I believe that he is unique and the way you describe him is something that is entertaining.
Also, he can also be said as a lolicon since he still has a soft soft on younger girls, despite his character.

Regarding reference, I'd like to leave it like that since it gives me the uniqueness of one's work. Of course, you made your story based on numerous reference and I rely my commentaries based on the story you made all alone.

Putting it shortly, it's up to you whether you tell me your references in your work or not.
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
Post Reply

Return to “Creative works”