Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 9 epilogue -
'The wings which amounted to 3 revolutions cause the driving force of this ship to increase by a few times'

v9 epilogue -
'And sometimes... there should be incidents when she snatches away the one she loves.'

v9 epilogue -
'But... the moment he saw Colbert who was walking towards him, those could not be turned into words. He merely held back his tears as if he did not cried, with his lips shut tight.'

[Shadowys]

1. Original is「回转的翅膀共有三个，将大于帆船数倍的推进力提供给这艘船。
Which could be translated as, There are 3 spinning wings that provide the huge amount of horsepower needed to power this ship.

2. Original is 而且也许有时候……会跟自己争夺恋爱的对象吧。
Which could be translated as, And sometimes......Henrietta may also try to fight for the person she likes, even if the person is Louise's lover.
There may be a better translation, the original was made in the context that both women are vying for the same guy, directly translated means Henrietta may also snatch the person she loves from her.

3. Original was 不过，看到寇伯特对著自己走过来时，这些全部都没能顺利说出口。才人只能紧紧地泯著嘴唇，憋著泪水避免自己当场哭泣。
Which could be translated as, However, he could not say anything when he saw Mr Colbert walk towards him. Saito could only press his lips together tightly, resisting the urge to cry as tears began to well up in his eyes..

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 1 -
'Though you're a dog, what are you thinking about that is impossible, so there is nothing more dreadful than this or is it Princess-sama is Princess-sama there is nothing less honorable than this you're not serious right you're joking right you don't know what this feeling is an unforgivable dog is really unforgivable yet you and the queen? How amusing..'

[Shadowys]

The original is a mouthful
明明只是只狗只不过是一条狗区区的狗是在想什么啊那是不可能的我说那也太冒犯了吧所以就是没可能的啊或者该说公主殿下也真是的要说是没节操那还真的是没节操什么不是认真的讲那什么胡扯什么这份心情到底是不是认真的自己也不明白不能饶恕果然无法饶恕明明只是一条狗区区笨狗跟女王？真是笑掉人大牙了啦真真真真的是——

Which could be translated as,
Isn't he just a dog just a dog what is that supposed to mean that is impossible hey that's too rude anyway that's just not possible or should I say that Princess-sama has no morals she really has no morals I'm not serious or what am I joking or what this feeling is real or not I don't know I can't forgive them really can't forgive them they are just one stupid dog and a queen? That's just too funny really, reaaaaaaaally......

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 2 -
'Sylphid never joins Tabitha in her battle. “Because I don't have the legs to go back,” with that reason, she usually waits patiently in the air for her master's battle to finish.'

v10 c2 -
'The and | a sharpness which as if bisects the X and the felt things |'

[Shadowys]

1. Original is 希儿菲朵从来不曾参加过塔帕莎的战斗。它总是基于「回去时可不能没有交通工具」这个理由，乖乖地在空中等待主人的战斗结束。
Slyphid has never joined Tabitha in battle. She has always used the reason that "You need something that can bring you back home, right?" and stayed in the air meekly waiting for her master to complete her battle.

2. This line does not exist in the original. I suggest that it be removed.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 3 -
'When I am serving in the academy, I learned these in the temple'
Perhaps 'when i started serving in the ...'

v10 c3 -
“Wah! She would even do it for 55 sous!”
What's the relationship between sou and ecu? It should be updated in guideline.

Volume 9 & 10 -
The ship which Colbert made is called Ostrant in guidelines but someone edited it to Ostland. Which one should be used? I think the term to be used should be same as that of guidelines. Another change is Ondine knights in text and Undine in guidelines.

v10 c3 -
'In the remaining space, there was a desk, with an old chair which could not be used nearby.'

v10 c3 -
Irukukuu became nervous and at a loss of what to do, and without warning, she opened her arms, hugged his head and turned round and round.
“Kyui kyui.”
Actions and speech of unclear meanings.
“...So that's it.”
With that, Louise agreed. Within the royal families, for no special reasons, there were many instances like THAT. Anyway, for her to become a bait, Iruukuu was too natural.

[Shadowys]

1. The original was 「要前来学院服务之际，我有去寺院里学习。」
Which could be translated as, "Before serving in the academy, I learned reading in a temple."

2. According to http://zeronotsukaima.wikia.com/wiki/%C3%89cu
Apparently 1 ecu = 6 livre = 120 sous = 1440 deniers, it is a currency based off French currency.

3. I think I will have to update the guidelines to follow the official english translation for these names, according to the anime. The Ondine and Ostland is the one used in the anime, so we shall use that.

Edit: I have updated the guideline for these two.

4. The original was 在空出来的位置摆上一张桌子，再把一些已经不使用的老旧椅子排在桌子周围……这里俨然就变身为一间小酒馆了.
Which could be translated as, A table was placed in the empty space in the shed, along with some old unused chairs around the table ..... Voila! A small drinking pub was created.

5. The sentence that should be retranslated to make this whole conversation clear is one line above them : “Her brain... makes .........
The original was,
「是个脑袋有点缺陷的人吧，要是怀疑她的话就太过分了。」
才人把手放到露易丝的肩膀上，一脸正经地说道。
「咦？是、是这样吗？」
也许是因为紧张感已经突破了极限，伊儿库库突然张开双臂，还开始左右转动著头部。
「啾咿啾咿。」
这真是令人无法理解的动作与发言。
「……看来真的是这样。」
她的举止让露易丝接受了才人的解释。这是因为王族之中，「这种人」其实还不在少数。总之，如果要说这是个陷阱，伊儿库库也未免太天真了。从她口中说出的情报一定不会夹带著什么阴谋。

Which could be translated as

"I think she has some mental disability, so it would be too much to doubt her."
Saito placed his hand on Louise's shoulder, and said this with a straight face.
“Eh? Re-Really?”
Irukukuu became nervous and at a loss of what to do, and without warning, she opened her arms, hugged his head and turned round and round.
“Kyui kyui.”
Actions and speech of unclear meanings.
“...I see.” <--I think this would be clearer, though "So that's it" is the literal translation.
Her actions made Louise accepted Saito's explanation. Within the royal families, there are quite a number of 'these people' . Anyway, if this was a trap, Irukukuu looked too naive for that. There would not be any sinister motives behind the information she gave them.

[veritatis cupitor]

Guidelines still show -
'Ostrant (Built by Colbert, owned by Kirche)'
Any reason?

volume 10 chapter 3 -
The previous translator/editor has asked for help here -
'At such a response, Malicorne flew into a rage for no reason. At the ears of Saito who was lying flat on the table, he began to grumble nonsense'

The edit page -
'At such a response, Malicorne flew into a rage for no reason. <!--むかっ腹がたったらしい Any help is appreciated.--> At the ears of Saito who was lying flat on the table, he began to grumble nonsense'

v10 c3 -
'Her age was approximately 20?'
Is the question sign a typo?

v10 c3 -
'So this is really a dog or should I say beast or should I say unbelievably finding one after another from anywhere'
Is the girl missing from 'finding one girl after another' or is it implied?

[Shadowys]

1. I missed that. The guidelines have been reviewed.

2. Referring to the chinese and japanese translation, apparently Saito is lying on the table, so that sentence could be translated as,
Original Chinese : 马里寇奴似乎觉得才人这个样子让他一肚子火，于是就对著趴在桌上的才人的耳边，连珠炮般地开始抱怨。
Malicorne seemed to fly into rage at such a response. He began to grumble nonsense into Saito's ears as Saito laid face down on the table.

3. The original has it. Maybe it could be translated as, "20 something years old?" to convey the informal description.

4. The original did not have the "girl", it is literally one after another, but it could be added since it is much clearer that way.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 4 -
'Having just finished his words, Saito muttered in a miserable voice.'
The first part seems unnecessary.

v10 c4 -
'Until yesterday, I did not know how to fight such (a) people.'

v10 c4 -
'The Ondine students' opinions were split directly in half. “If we don't go and save our classmate, what kind of knights are we?” This group which was with Saito.
“The enemy is outside the country. We cannot poke our head into their affairs.” The other group which was with Reynal.'

v10 c4 -
'Just a little while ago, wouldn't I just rush out to save her?'

v10 c4 -
'“I know. I don't think of you guys as cowards. What Her Majesty said is quite right, your feelings know that as well. Just that, I have a bit more to say.”'

v10 c4 -
'Weighing her feelings and Henrietta's on a scale... Would she not give up and compete until the end? Or else, would she give in because of her faithfulness? Louise would become distressed.'

v10 c4 -
“I have always come to believe that serving Princess is that reason. But... somewhere within my heart, it is saying this. Blind acceptance towards Princess is not my path to progress,”

v10 c4 -
'To persist in the “reason” I believe... I am losing, but my spirit as a noble is somewhere here'

[Shadowys]

1. Original : 听完事情的来龙去脉，才人无奈地叹息著。
Which should be translated as, After hearing her complete explanation, Saito sighed in exasperation.

2. Original : 到昨天为止，自己都还不知道该如何跟那种等级的敌人们对战。
I think "such a people" could be better translated as "enemies of such power".

3. For the second sentence, the original is 另一派则是以雷纳尔为首，论调是「对方是外国。我们不能随随便便插手。」的一派。
Which could be translated as , "We're up against another country, we can't just poke our head into this just on a whim," The other group which was with Reynal

4. Original was 如果是不久之前的自己，早就不顾一切冲出去了吧？
Which could be translated as, If it was himself from just not long ago, wouldn't he just rush out to save her in spite of anything?

5. For that sentence, original was 我知道陛下说的话非常合理，也懂你们的心情
which could be translated as, I know what Her Majesty said is quite right, and I understand what you feel.

6. Original : 一定会把自己的心情跟汉丽塔的心情放在天秤的两端衡量……然后烦恼自己到底要坚决不示弱与她竞争到底，还是要基于忠诚心乖乖退让呢？
Which could be translated as, She would have weighed her own feelings along with that of Henrietta's......and then fret about if she should fight with her about this to the bitter end, or just give in meekly out of her loyalty?

7. I think the word "reason" would be better translated as "principle".
「我啊，至今为止一直相信侍奉公主殿下您就是我的『条理』。可是……就在最近这段期间，我内心的某处一直在告诉我……对公主殿下您的盲目遵从并不是我真正该走的路。」
Which could be translated as, "For me, until now, I would have always believed that serving your Majesty would be my "principle" of action. However ......during these recent times, there's a voice deep in my heart telling me that ...... blindly accepting your Majesty's orders is not the real path I should have taken."

8. Original :我要遵守自己相信的『条理』……虽然一直以来我已经逐渐迷失，但我相信我身为贵族的精神所在之处应该就在这方向上。」
Which could be translated as. I will stick to the "principle" I believe......Even though all this time I have lost my direction, but now I believe that my pride as a noble should be placed on this path.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 5 -
Anyway, he is the leader you all elected during the tender right?

[Shadowys]

Original :总之你们是用投票来选出现任的领导者吧？
I think it could be translated as, Anyway, you elect your leaders through a voting process, right?

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 10 chapter 6 -
'Although we don't know if that would be the case, above not discarding this probability, we must think that it is certain and act accordingly.'

v10 c6 -
'That drug which is so strong; we are not able to prepare it. <!—So did or didn’t he?-->'
The 2nd part is just the addition of an editor, I think. But it raises a good question.