Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

Para lamang ito sa diskusyon...oh right, English.
This is for English discussions, visit the Archive to see old stuff

Moderators: Fringe Security Bureau, Senior Editors, Senior Translators, Alt. Language Translator/Editor, Executive Council, Project Translators, Project Editors

Post Reply

How did you find the quality of translation?

Great!
633
89%
Okay but lacking a nice flow
48
7%
Some awkward lines but okay
27
4%
Quite rough with terrible flow
0
No votes
Ahhh!!! The grammar is killing me!
4
1%
 
Total votes: 712

User avatar
latos1117
Haruhiist Sensei
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 8:05 am
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
Location: U.S
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by latos1117 »

Ok well i just finish reading this last week, that is why i wanted to thank everyone that has help to the project, i enjoy reading this story and i would like to say please do more. Its really interesting and i would hate to not see it translated. Well good luck cause i know how hard is translating, Thanks. :D
User avatar
delacroix01
Reader
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:32 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

Just finished translating v4 ch1, so I'm here to say hi. :) For next month I'll be back to my scanlation group as well as finding a job, so I probably won't have much time for Blade Dance. If you have any problem with my translation, I'll try my best to help, though.

Btw, may I join chapter 2 as a TLCer? No offense but I noticed that some complex sentences aren't being translated correctly.
DoomCalibur
Kyonite - The Haruhi Pacifier
Posts: 125
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:02 pm
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by DoomCalibur »

Heh i just tried out some translation. Pls give your comment about this.
Vol 4 Chapter 10
Spoiler! :
Flame crackling burst into the forest -
"...... Kamito, was an Instructional School's assassin?"
Claire stayed naturally muttered.
Ellis, Fianna, Rinslet stayed back on the ground and looked at each other.
Instructional School- In the empire, that name is known to everybody.
Four years ago, the source of the rebellious spirit contractors, was revealed in the same year, the Empire's darkness.
Collected from the mainland the qualified orphans, and subject them to the assassin training, a fanaticism group.
"That sort of thing ... "
Can not immediately believe.
However, if so -
Kamito's attitude was that unusual.
Stubbornly trying to hide the reason, can also be explained.
(...... So Kamito -)
Claire stood up clenched lips.
"Aha, shocked huh? Sister"
Miao Asia had a ridiculed-like face.
"But Oni-sama is more of a human than a monster like Muir"
At this moment, Tiamat started to chant spirit magic.
Unpleasant underground sludge plants grown into vines and hit Claire.
The girls, unable to stand up again, got entangled, and were held in the air.
"Damn ah!" " What! " " You, you guys, outrageous! "
Slippery tentacle-like vines torn their dress, played with the girl's soft skin.
Their body couldnt help but shivering because of the vines's disgusting sense. Could not resist.
"Whirring, this is really good right Ne-sama?"
"Ah, to call this ...... you ...! "
Claire waved her burning whip to burn out the vines -
But it puffed out smoke like a cigarette, then disappeared.
(...... Damn, the loss of the pure soul you!)
Spirit, in addition of the pure girl cant be more causative . Even has a deep Spirit contract , it will not change.
Noble spirit contractor need to purify their soul before the sword dance
That's why sheer humiliation is not only something that just to play with it. Muir tarnished their flesh, deprived their purity to summon Spirit.
The dress was torn down completely, the girls only clothing now were the remaining underwear
However, not allow them to have a chance to be ashamed of, the vines mercilessly continue to hit them.
"... Ah, goo ......"
"Moaning sound awesome. Really want to let Oni-sama listen"
The voice of the young girl's innocent smile.
(Kamito ...... ......)
Her consciousness is gradually disappearing -
Claire shouted that name.
Along with the other girl.
(- Help me, Kamito!)
At this time.
A shining sword appeared now.
(Hey?)
Suddenly floating sense.
After Claire's body suddenly fall to the sludge.
Ellis, Fianna, Rinslet one by one were freed from the vines .
"......"
Claire blinked.
There is -
"I'm sorry for making you wait."
Kamito with his hand holding a silver sword was standing there.

Despite having difficulty in breathing, Kamito stood in front of the roaring Tiamat.
Face pale without color, systemic flow like waterfalls of cold sweat. Even though with Demon Killing Sword's blessing and a certain degree of inhibition still stood in a very difficult state.
"Kamito ..."
Claire issued a surprised voice.
"... Did you guys heard about my things?"
"......"
Silence means yes.
At this point even Kamito can understand.
They knew his past.
"Kamito, is that true? That you ......"
"Ah, that is true."
Avoiding Claire's line of sight, Kamito nodded.
"Muir and I are Instruction School orphans "
Came the sound down deep breath.
More than Claire, Ellis, Fianna and Rinslet.
The brutal facts of Kamito placed in their open eyes.
Unpleasant, digusted child. Or pitiful monster.
No matter which side are not really better.
Anyway, he can not maintain a relationship so far.
(...... Well, in short, has been a fact which cannot be calm)
Kamito sent a deep sigh -
Toward Muir and Tiamat to take a step.
User avatar
delacroix01
Reader
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:32 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

Looks like it's still too early for you to translate a LN, or KuroiHikari will have to re-translate most of it. Here's a rough translation for the first page of chapter 10 in case you need to check. There are still rooms to improve, but I'm pretty confident that I'm not getting the idea wrong here.
Spoiler! :
In the forest where flame was crackling――
"...Kamito... was an assassin raised at the <Instructional School>?"
Claire muttered in blank amazement.
Still lying collapsed on the ground, Ellis, Fianna, as well as Rinslet, looked at one another's face.
<Instructional School>――Among citizens of the Empire, there was no one who had not heard of that name.
Four years ago. There was a dark side of the Empire which was exposed to light in the same year as the rebellion of the Calamity Queen.
A group of fanatics had been gathering talented orphans from around the continent and giving them training as assassins.
"How could that be..."
They couldn't believe it immediately.
However, if that was the case――
That extraordinary power of Kamito.
And the reason he stubbornly wanted to keep his past a secret, too, would also be explained properly.
(...I see. That's why Kamito――)
Still standing rooting to the spot, Claire tightly bit her lips.
User avatar
Hiyono
Shamisen Wordsmith
Posts: 312
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:55 am
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
Location: The Internets

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Hiyono »

No offense, but that looks pretty machine-translation-ish. The accuracy of the translation aside, on which I am unfit to judge, the English phrasing could use a lot of work.
"There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible and wrong." H.L. Mencken (1971)
User avatar
Vermiculo
VOID UNDEAD SPECTOR
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:46 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Vermiculo »

Heya all~ As you might have noticed, I have stopped because of the Volume 4 Chapter 2. Until it reaches almost completion, I'll pause for a bit xD
Sigh, translating is tough =_=”... It takes around 8 hours for 1 chapter of Blade  Dance...(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
User avatar
delacroix01
Reader
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:32 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

So it's free for me to jump in meanwhile, right?
User avatar
Darklor
Project Editor
Posts: 3666
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:56 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Darklor »

Jump into what?
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

Darklor

Out of the dark, into the dark.
User avatar
delacroix01
Reader
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:32 am
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

Vol 4 chapter 3. What else could it be?
User avatar
chancs
Project Editor
Posts: 687
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:07 am
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
Location: under the starry night
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by chancs »

DoomCalibur wrote:Heh i just tried out some translation. Pls give your comment about this.
Vol 4 Chapter 10
Spoiler! :
Flame crackling burst into the forest -
"...... Kamito, was an Instructional School's assassin?"
Claire stayed naturally muttered.
Ellis, Fianna, Rinslet stayed back on the ground and looked at each other.
Instructional School- In the empire, that name is known to everybody.
Four years ago, the source of the rebellious spirit contractors, was revealed in the same year, the Empire's darkness.
Collected from the mainland the qualified orphans, and subject them to the assassin training, a fanaticism group.
"That sort of thing ... "
Can not immediately believe.
However, if so -
Kamito's attitude was that unusual.
Stubbornly trying to hide the reason, can also be explained.
(...... So Kamito -)
Claire stood up clenched lips.
"Aha, shocked huh? Sister"
Miao Asia had a ridiculed-like face.
"But Oni-sama is more of a human than a monster like Muir"
At this moment, Tiamat started to chant spirit magic.
Unpleasant underground sludge plants grown into vines and hit Claire.
The girls, unable to stand up again, got entangled, and were held in the air.
"Damn ah!" " What! " " You, you guys, outrageous! "
Slippery tentacle-like vines torn their dress, played with the girl's soft skin.
Their body couldnt help but shivering because of the vines's disgusting sense. Could not resist.
"Whirring, this is really good right Ne-sama?"
"Ah, to call this ...... you ...! "
Claire waved her burning whip to burn out the vines -
But it puffed out smoke like a cigarette, then disappeared.
(...... Damn, the loss of the pure soul you!)
Spirit, in addition of the pure girl cant be more causative . Even has a deep Spirit contract , it will not change.
Noble spirit contractor need to purify their soul before the sword dance
That's why sheer humiliation is not only something that just to play with it. Muir tarnished their flesh, deprived their purity to summon Spirit.
The dress was torn down completely, the girls only clothing now were the remaining underwear
However, not allow them to have a chance to be ashamed of, the vines mercilessly continue to hit them.
"... Ah, goo ......"
"Moaning sound awesome. Really want to let Oni-sama listen"
The voice of the young girl's innocent smile.
(Kamito ...... ......)
Her consciousness is gradually disappearing -
Claire shouted that name.
Along with the other girl.
(- Help me, Kamito!)
At this time.
A shining sword appeared now.
(Hey?)
Suddenly floating sense.
After Claire's body suddenly fall to the sludge.
Ellis, Fianna, Rinslet one by one were freed from the vines .
"......"
Claire blinked.
There is -
"I'm sorry for making you wait."
Kamito with his hand holding a silver sword was standing there.

Despite having difficulty in breathing, Kamito stood in front of the roaring Tiamat.
Face pale without color, systemic flow like waterfalls of cold sweat. Even though with Demon Killing Sword's blessing and a certain degree of inhibition still stood in a very difficult state.
"Kamito ..."
Claire issued a surprised voice.
"... Did you guys heard about my things?"
"......"
Silence means yes.
At this point even Kamito can understand.
They knew his past.
"Kamito, is that true? That you ......"
"Ah, that is true."
Avoiding Claire's line of sight, Kamito nodded.
"Muir and I are Instruction School orphans "
Came the sound down deep breath.
More than Claire, Ellis, Fianna and Rinslet.
The brutal facts of Kamito placed in their open eyes.
Unpleasant, digusted child. Or pitiful monster.
No matter which side are not really better.
Anyway, he can not maintain a relationship so far.
(...... Well, in short, has been a fact which cannot be calm)
Kamito sent a deep sigh -
Toward Muir and Tiamat to take a step.
*thumbs up

there's no harm in trying...be it machine one or true translation (even machine work needs some time for sentence laying/editing) :mrgreen:
DoomCalibur
Kyonite - The Haruhi Pacifier
Posts: 125
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:02 pm
Favourite Light Novel:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by DoomCalibur »

THe comment is a bit heartbreak but it s okay since you guys are my Senpai
User avatar
chancs
Project Editor
Posts: 687
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:07 am
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
Location: under the starry night
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by chancs »

DoomCalibur wrote:THe comment is a bit heartbreak but it s okay since you guys are my Senpai
The work is appreciated, but the people are not appreciating the quality

:mrgreen: Any material is valuable
User avatar
Mystes
Heaven's Blade Successor
Posts: 15932
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:54 am
Favourite Light Novel:
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Mystes »

Guys, really.

I'd recommend learning the Japanese grammar enough to see what's the subject and what's the object before trying machine translation. Machine translations can get the words right, but might not get the meaning across.
Kira0802

#campione at rizon for some #campione discussions~~ And other stuffs.
User avatar
ssdan
Kyonite - The Haruhi Pacifier
Posts: 107
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 9:36 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ssdan »

japanese is like hieroglyphic... no way inn heck to comprehend them symbols >.>;;
User avatar
chancs
Project Editor
Posts: 687
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:07 am
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
Location: under the starry night
Contact:

Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by chancs »

Kira0802 wrote:Guys, really.

I'd recommend learning the Japanese grammar enough to see what's the subject and what's the object before trying machine translation. Machine translations can get the words right, but might not get the meaning across.
This has helped me. Downloaded and printed the whole page about this from Wikipedia.

All the details with good examples :D
Post Reply

Return to “English”