Page 1 of 1
Edits by the masses [Multiple chapters involved]
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:17 am
by Omio
Chapter 1:
"Hey, Kyon."
From behind, somebody clapped me on the shoulder. It was Taniguchi.
His blazer hung slovenly on his shoulders, his necktie was wrinkled and skewed to one side.
"Where did you go for Golden Week?"
Edit notes:
clapped or
tapped? Which one is more accurate?
A blazer's like a jacket, and I'm fine with that - but I'm thinking maybe a different word will do better in case others think of the car. (I'm Imagining a CAR on Taniguchi would be like an ant carrying a grape.)
End notes.
Personal area:
More to come. I'm re-reading from start to finish, and all volumes. So translators, editors, and all Haruhi readers - heads up.
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:27 am
by Smidge204
Well, there's "*tap tap* hey excuse me" then there's "*WHAP!* Hey buddy how's it going?!"
Just a subtle difference, IMHO. I'd dig up the original text and check but I'm unable to at the moment.
=Smidge=
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 9:56 pm
by quigonkenny
"Clapped" is "clapped." It's not a tap, and not a smack, but somewhere in between and just loud enough to make a noise. Hence the name. As for whether it's what the original Japanese
meant, well, that might be a different story. But it fits Taniguchi's character, so I think it's probably right.
As for "blazer," that's exactly the correct word. That's what the style of jackets are called that the male students at Kyon's North High wear (and at a number of other uniformed schools both in anime/manga and in real life, inside and outside of Japan). Won't need to check the translation for that one.
Omio wrote:...but I'm thinking maybe a different word will do better in case others think of the car.
You
are kidding, right? I respect why you might want to use more common language, but this isn't a kiddie book. We should use vocabulary the target audience
should know, not necessarily what we
expect them to know. Let's not start dumbing down the vocabulary just so the Naruto crowd will understand what is going on. Let whoever ends up licensing the novels do that.
Besides, does Chevy even
make the Blazer anymore?
Anyway, keep trying, but while I doubt that Volume 1 is
100% perfect, it's bound to be pretty close by now. Keep in mind that this volume has been done for over a year now, so those bones have been picked pretty clean.
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:14 am
by onizuka-gto
whats a chevy?
food?
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:51 am
by Omio
quigonkenny wrote:
[snip]
Omio wrote:...but I'm thinking maybe a different word will do better in case others think of the car.
[more snipping]
Besides, does Chevy even
make the Blazer anymore?
I'm pretty confident they do - which is quite surprising.
Anyhow, I've got one more hour of reading yet, so I'm off to the chocobo races.
EDIT: Found a typo.
Chapter 3:
After I said that, Nagato robotically blinked her eyes and, in a very minuscule way that you wouldn't have noticed unless you paid very close attention, lightly nodded her head. So I swapped seats with Nagato and sat besides Asahina.
Assume.
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:53 am
by onizuka-gto
don't worry. its not a typo.
just american yankee spelling. move along now. nothing to see!
Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:15 am
by Omio
figgerz.
Moar reading incoming. =D
EDIT:
Chapter 6:
This one's a preference-type of thing - I could understand this happening, but some might get thrown off...
"When I was in sixth grade, I went with my family to see a baseball game. I wasn't really interested in baseball, yet when I went there, I was given a shock, since everywhere I looked there were people all around. The people at the opposite of the stadium were as small as a grain of rice, in constant motion. I had thought the whole nation had gathered upon this spot then. So I asked my dad how many people were at the stadium. My dad said as it was full that day, maybe around fifty thousand?
"After the game, the roads were packed with people. Seeing all this, I was stunned. There were so many people here, yet they were only a tiny fraction of the whole nation. I read in geography class that Japan had a population of a hundred million, so I went home and did some math using a calculator, and I found out that fifty thousand was only one out of two thousand of the total population. At that time, I was stunned again. I was only a small part of so many people in the stadium, and this many people were merely one out of two thousand of the whole nation.
"Before that, I had always felt myself to be special. I was happy with my family, and I felt I was with the world's most interesting people in my class. Yet from that time on, I realized things weren't like that. The experiences I had in school that I thought were the happiest things in the world, turned out to exist in every school. For the whole nation, this was nothing special. When I discovered that, the whole world around me lost its color. I brush my teeth and go to sleep, then wake up and have breakfast. You see these things everywhere.
"I found it extremely boring when I realized all these things are all part of a person's ordinary life. I believe that since there're so many people in this world, there has to be someone who's living an extraordinary, exciting life. But why isn't that person me?
"Before I graduated from elementary school, I thought all about it. So when I entered junior high, I decided to change myself. I wanted to let the world know, I'm not a girl who will only sit and wait. I believe I've tried my best, but everything's the same as it's always been. And now I'm in high school, still hoping for something to change."
Sorry that I'm becoming a drag, but I'm getting to the bones of it.
Keep? Mod?
EDIT 2:
And that's it for this volume. Watch for the same name in the next section.
((Oh, and I wish I could see the animé for this.))
Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:15 pm
by magus
Personal prefrence don't really matter, unless 5 out of 10 who read that can't understand any of it.
Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:57 am
by Omio
Translated answer: Keep it.
Lock down Volume 1 - It's perfect.
...And this thread.