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Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:53 am
by onizuka-gto
I have just finished reading this volume, which I must say was a fantastic script,
however it was quite disconcerning to hear Horo, utter, "dumb ass" all over the place.

I can't really hear Horo with her Ye old/Victorian English accent saying this modern phrase, I was hoping to change it to a more classic intepretation.


However, I would need to know the Original Japanese characters, if anyone know it would be appreciated.

As i would like to know if the original consisted of two word, specifically if the phrase contained the word for "fool" and/or "ass"

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:15 am
by Vaelis
たわけ = fool

It was used 13 times in volume 3.

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:10 am
by Darklor
Shouldnt it have been then also fool rather dumb ass?

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:43 am
by Vaelis
Darklor wrote:Shouldnt it have been then also fool rather dumb ass?
It's indeed what I'm saying.
It shouldn't be "dumb ass" but "fool".

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:35 pm
by Krikit
You also have to remember that the translation came from a Chinese rendition. Bearing that in mind, it was no fault of the translator I'm most certain, but of the text.

So we're changing all dumb asses to fools?

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:51 pm
by onizuka-gto
Krikit wrote: So we're changing all dumb asses to fools?
yes.

Because it doesn't seem to fit Horo's character, using such a modern American slang kind of ruin the impact of the statement.

Vaelis wrote:
Darklor wrote:Shouldnt it have been then also fool rather dumb ass?
It's indeed what I'm saying.
It shouldn't be "dumb ass" but "fool".
Thank you for the clarification Vaelis

hmm.

"Fool" indeed sounds like a far accurate translation, But "you bloody fool!" Sounds far more better. :p

Not only is the word "Bloody" have origins in Middle Age English, it just sounds "old" when you tackle "fool" on the end. :)


But then again, Horo is a "lady" I guess she wouldn't use the word "bloody".

I can see why someone would like to use a two word translation, just saying the word "Fool" doesn't convey the intensity of the statement if all Horo shouts is "you fool!" .

The double negative, reinforce the emotional context of the scene.

perhaps, "you naive fool!", "you rash fool", "you dim fool!", "you witless fool!" ?

"witless fool" actually sounds kinda nice. :)

what do you think?

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 11:25 pm
by Vaelis
I prefer "You fool" :D

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:54 am
by Darklor
Hmm, for this sentences
“Dumb ass (note: “ass” as in “donkey,” similar but not exactly the same as the modern “dumbass.”), the more foolish the male, the more he likes weak females.
I would say that "(you) fool" would clash with "foolish", or?

Hmm, and maybe "jester" would be also ok for some "dumb ass"es?

Hmm, and btw. for
“She’s quite a beauty. Does it bother you?” Lawrence teased.

“.....Dumb ass.”
“You didn’t cry, how well-behaved.”

“....Dumb ass.”
“Mr. owner, I wish to sell these as well.”

The voice that reached Lawrence’s ears even caused him to feel nostalgic.

Then, with a heavy thud, a bag that was easily twice the size of his own appeared before his eyes.

Looking toward his side, Lawrence found Horo, looking as if she were ready pounce and bite in the next instant.

“Dumb ass.”

Hearing this, Lawrence gave a smile and said with no other intention:

“Sorry.”
wouldnt "(you) fool" also work at all, right? - maybe donkey or jerk or something milder - (jester maybe)?

and some would only work without "you"
“You big dumb ass!”
“If you were to become drunk as well, who would be left to take care of me? You dumb ass!”
I think if it was translated into german I would have translated it as Narr or Trottel (but maybe that would be to modern, too?)

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:03 pm
by Vaelis
In fact たわけ is fool/idiot/simpleton.

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:18 pm
by Darklor
Hmm mabye then:
“Idiot/Simpleton, the more foolish the male, the more he likes weak females.
“Alright, then from now on I-”

“Idiot.”

Lawrence’s words were cut off.
“She’s quite a beauty. Does it bother you?” Lawrence teased.

“.....Idiot.”
“You didn’t cry, how well-behaved.”

“....Idiot.”
“Mr. owner, I wish to sell these as well.”

The voice that reached Lawrence’s ears even caused him to feel nostalgic.

Then, with a heavy thud, a bag that was easily twice the size of his own appeared before his eyes.

Looking toward his side, Lawrence found Horo, looking as if she were ready pounce and bite in the next instant.

“Idiot.”

Hearing this, Lawrence gave a smile and said with no other intention:

“Sorry.”
“You big [fool/idiot/simpleton]!”
“If you were to become drunk as well, who would be left to take care of me? You [fool/idiot/simpleton]!”
“[(You) fool/simpleton] , you are supposed to say “yes” in times like these.”
“You fool, you think you’d be able to sell something like this?”

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:42 am
by onizuka-gto
hmm..

to be honest, "idiot" still sounds too modern, i'll prefer "fool", can't go wrong with this classic word.

i.e.
“Mr. owner, I wish to sell these as well.”

The voice that reached Lawrence’s ears even caused him to feel nostalgic.

Then, with a heavy thud, a bag that was easily twice the size of his own appeared before his eyes.

Looking toward his side, Lawrence found Horo, looking as if she were ready pounce and bite in the next instant.

Fool.”

Hearing this, Lawrence gave a smile and said with no other intention:

“Sorry.”

just using that single word, makes the context of Horo's emtion more meaningful.


Hmm, and maybe "jester" would be also ok for some "dumb ass"es?
The informal/indirect usage of "to wit" is another way to call someone a "jester", someone who was quite sharp and cleaver with his/her words.

Thus in Shakespearean comedy, you do hear a lot of indirect insults when they say a person is "witless" who is dull and boring with words, thus to imply they were quite slow in the thinking department.

"Witless fool" sounds so much better, but not for all of them. I think it will only work with the ones starting with "you".

I.e.
“If you were to become drunk as well, who would be left to take care of me? You witless fool!”
Maybe we shouldn't stick with just one.

for example:
"She’s quite a beauty. Does it bother you?” Lawrence teased.

“.....Dumb ass.”

We can simply just change it to:
"She’s quite a beauty. Does it bother you?” Lawrence teased.

“....Foolish arse.”
Which has origin in middle English ( ars/asse/assald )

The problem with this "dumb ass" was that it virtually a Copy & Paste all over the place, which makes it quite sterile in context with Horo's character.

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:10 pm
by Darklor
Hmm I think arse would be to vulgar...

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:28 pm
by judgment26
I guess I should clarify a bit:

In the Chinese text, the term is "大笨驢," which literally translates to "big dumb/stupid donkey/ass." I was a bit hesitant about translating it as "dumb ass" at first because I knew people were going to mistake it for the modern expression, "dumbass," but it felt appropriate at the time since the word "ass" (as in donkey) is in fact used in Elizabethan English (see Shakespeare's "A Mid Summer Night's Dream," where Bottom's head is changed into that of an "ass").

I agree with onizuka though. It does sound a bit out of character for Horo. As for what to replace it with, I personally prefer "fool/you fool," which is how the sub groups have decided to translate it, but I'm fine with whatever you guys decide.

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:17 pm
by onizuka-gto
judgment26 wrote:I guess I should clarify a bit:

In the Chinese text, the term is "大笨驢," which literally translates to "big dumb/stupid donkey/ass." I was a bit hesitant about translating it as "dumb ass" at first because I knew people were going to mistake it for the modern expression, "dumbass," but it felt appropriate at the time since the word "ass" (as in donkey) is in fact used in Elizabethan English (see Shakespeare's "A Mid Summer Night's Dream," where Bottom's head is changed into that of an "ass").

I agree with onizuka though. It does sound a bit out of character for Horo. As for what to replace it with, I personally prefer "fool/you fool," which is how the sub groups have decided to translate it, but I'm fine with whatever you guys decide.

ahh, thanks for the clarification.

That makes it easier for an alternative, as the literal translation is quoted above.

The first thought in my head was "Foolish mule!" which i can pretty much imagine coming out of Horo, since he more or less a "mule" i.e. a beast of burden for Horo. (transportation, supply of food, companionship.)

However, I suppose the "better" intepretation for certain scenes that require a more stronger emotive expression to be translated as "foolish arse!"

personally I'll go for the mule one, but meh. I'll be happy with either of them. :)

Re: Volume 3 - Changing the translation "Dumb Ass"

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:09 am
by judgment26
Sounds good to me. I'll go and change it right away. I think I'll stick with "foolish mule" though, since to me, "arse" sounds more like something a guy would say...:P