The poor girl seemed very troubled, since she has been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie.
It sounds a bit odd to me. I think it'd sound a bit better as "The poor girl seemed very troubled, it's no wonder, since she's been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie." Without the "it's no wonder" or a "Probably" it sounds odd. Maybe it's just me...
As I urged him to hide inside my bag, Shamisen replied boastfully, "All right then."
Boastfully seems to be an odd choice of word, though I'm not sure what it would be. Perhaps condescendingly? Or maybe haughtily?
"By the way, she sure knows how to write this many words for a flyer."
Doesn't seem to make very much sense as it is currently worded.
She is able to search for the paranormal, but it contradicts with her own views on the paranormal world.
Should the second "paranormal" be "real" or "normal" maybe paranormal world with "reality"?
As I walked with my arms crossed, a bunch of people in stateless medieval costumes walked past me and turned into the corridor corner.
Is it really stateless? Stateless seems like an odd word to use.
Haruhi was the only one who thought the movie production was going according to plan, while the vertical lines just increase and darken on my face, as well as Koizumi's and Asahina-san's.
Vertical lines? Should it be wrinkles? Or is it actually vertical lines?
Maybe I should start by sending their photos and resumes.
Should it be "sending out".