Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story2 Chapter4

2007-06-21T17:57:19Z

168.212.234.49: Minor fix. ^^

==[[zeroNT:Chapter07ClaiesOriginal|Raw English translation available here]]==

==Chapter Seven – Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt==

In Tristain, there was a mage thief by the name of "The Crumbling Dirt," who had every noble in the country in fear. Her full name was Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.

When Fouquet heard that a noble in the North had a jeweled crown, she went all the way there to steal it. When she heard of a noble in the South who had a staff bestowed by the king as a family treasure, she broke through walls to steal it. In the East, none of the best pearl rings by the artisans of the White Islands remained in any mansion. Fouquet also eagerly took possession of a priceless bottle of well-aged wine from a winery in the West. Fouquet was everywhere.

Her tactics range from stealthy infiltration to outright breaking in. She had attacked the national bank in broad daylight, and silently frequented houses in the depth of night. In any case, her tactics simply left the royal mage guards in the dust.

Fouquet was identified only by her use of alchemy to enter targeted rooms, turning doors and walls to dirt and sand, and walking through the gaping holes. The nobles were not stupid, of course. They had tried to magically “solidify” everything around their treasure in an attempt to stop her alchemy, but her magic was simply too strong, nullifying everything, fortified or not, into dirt.

If Fouquet decided on breaking her way in, she used a 30-meter tall dirt golem. Tossing aside mage guards and shattering castle walls, it let her boldly take her prizes in broad daylight.

No one had ever seen Fouquet’s appearance up close. Nobody even knew for sure whether she was a man or a woman. All they knew is that she was an earth mage of at least Triangle class, that she left insulting notes, such as “I got your treasure. –-Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt” at every robbery scene, and that she preferred treasures and artifacts of great magical power.

Two huge moons shine down on the walls outside the fifth floor of the Academy of Magic, which encased a treasure room. The light stretched out a shadow, standing straight against the walls. Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.

Her green, long hair moved with the wind, and she briskly stood, openly showing the figure that strikes fear in all the nobles of the country.

Fouquet felt the wall’s power under her feet and could not help but admire it. ''The main tower of the Academy is as strong as it looks…is a physical attack really its only weakness? I can’t break through something this thick without attracting attention.'' It was not hard for an expert in earth magic like Fouquet to check a wall’s thickness with her feet, but breaking a wall was completely different. ''It looks like they used only hardening spells on it, but I can’t even break this with a golem. It’s got a very strong hardening spell…my alchemy won't do much.''

“Damn it…and I already got this far.” Fouquet grit her teeth in frustration. “I’m not leaving the Staff of Destruction, no matter what.” She crossed her arms and went into deep concentration.

Meanwhile, as Fouquet thought in annoyance about the wall, Louise’s room was in chaos. Louise and Kirche stared in anger at each other, while Saito, on his straw bed, excitedly studied the sword Kirche had just presented to him. Tabitha nonchalantly read on Louise’s bed.

Louise had her arms on her waist. “What is the meaning of this, Zerbst?” She glared at her rival.

Kirche watched Saito’s admiration, “I told you, I got what Saito wanted, so I came here to give it to him.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. I already got my familiar a weapon. Right, Saito?”

On the contrary, Saito couldn’t let go of Kirche’s gift. He unsheathed the sword and stared at it. When he held a sword, the inscriptions in his left hand glowed, while his body became light as a feather. He wanted to swing it around, but he was indoors. He still couldn’t figure out what the deal about his left hand was. All he knew is that it glowed if he held a sword.

But all he cared about at this moment was this beautifully decorated blade.

“This is so awesome…I still like this one more…and it shines!”

Louise kicked him into the air.

“What are you doing?!” Saito yelled.

“Give that back. Don’t you already have that talking sword?”

“Uh…that’s true…it’s interesting that a sword can speak, but still…” ''It’s so rusty and old and so broken. If a swordsman uses anything, it’s got to be shiny and cool, right? Besides, Kirche just gave me this for free…''

“Jealous words are quite unmannerly, Valliere!” Kirche trumpeted triumphantly.

“Jealous? Who’s jealous?”

“Aren't you? I, Kirche, easily got Saito’s most desired sword as a gift. You can’t say you’re not jealous, can you?”

“Jealous, my butt! That aside, I will not accept even a tiny bit of generosity from a Zerbst! That’s all there is!”

Kirche looked at Saito, who stared reluctantly at the decorated sword in Louise’s hands.

“You see that? Saito loves this sword, got it? This sword is created by Germania’s very own alchemist Lord Shupei!” Kirche threw a seductive glare to Saito. “You listen here…all that is good under the sun, let it be swords or women, can only come from Germania! Tristainian women, like Louise, are all extremely jealous, impatient, miserly, and snobbish, and nothing can change them!”

Louise glared at Kirche.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“Oh…how…amusing. Women like you are all romantic-minded idiots! Did you hook up with too many guys back in Germania, making nobody trust you, and ending up dropping out and running all the way over here to Tristania?” Louise said all that to Kirche with a cold, uncompromising laugh, interspersed with angry shivers.

“You have guts, Valliere…” Kirche’s face darkened.

Louise only victoriously added, “What? I’m just telling the truth.”

They simultaneously brandished their wands.

Tabitha flicked her staff even faster than the two, blowing their wands away in a gust.

“Indoors.” she simply announced.

''Probably meaning it’s dangerous to fight in here.''

“And who is this? She’s been sitting on my bed since…” Louise angrily muttered.

“She’s my friend.” Kirche answered.

“And why is your friend in my room?”

Kirche stared. “Is that a problem?”

“Hmmph.”

Saito tried to talk with Tabitha, who did not reply, only quietly reading her book, as if she really disliked conversation.

Meanwhile, Louise and Kirche still glared at each other.

Kirche looked away, “Well…lets have Saito decide.”

“Me? Decide?” Saito immediately felt distressed for being singled out.

“Right. This is about your choice of swords.” Louise also looked at him.

Now Saito felt worse. He liked Kirche’s shiny blade the most, hands down. ''But Louise will never let me pick that. She might not let me have dinner for a week, although I guess I can get that from Siesta, but still…''

He looked at Louise, who glared at him. ''Louise may be a selfish, self-centered, ungrateful girl, but she did take care of me when I was out for days…and I like her looks more…''

''Then again…Kirche bought me this really expensive sword. To top that, a beautiful one like her actually confessed to me. Before this, there is simply no way for me to land someone that good-looking…''

''Okay, that just made this impossibly hard. Now it just feels like I’m picking between the two of them and not the sword.''

“Well? Which is it?” Kirche and Louise both stared at him.

“Uh, well…can’t I have both?” Saito tilted his head and tried to look cute.

It didn’t work. He was sent to the air by two kicks and collapsed in his straw bed.

“Hey.” Kirche turned to Louise.

“What?”

“Guess it’s time to get this over with.”

“Hmm…you’re right.”

“I really hate you, you know?”

“Same to you.”

“We think quite alike.” Kirche smiled and raised a brow.

Louise, too, defiantly stuck her chin up.

They shouted in unison: “Let’s duel!”

“Geez…you don’t have to…” Saito was shocked. The two glared at each other as if they did not hear him.

“But of course, we have to do this with magic!” Kirche triumphantly declared.

Louise bit her lip, and nodded. “Fine. Location?”

“Really? You sure, Louise the Zero? Are you really sure you want to fight me in a magical duel?” Kirche goaded.

Louise lowered her head. ''Am I sure? Of course…not.'' But it was a challenge from a Zerbst, so she had to take it. “Of course! I will not lose to you!”

Meanwhile, standing on the walls of the central academy tower, Fouquet felt footsteps. She jumped off towards the ground, and just as she reached it, she whispered “Spell of Levitation”, absorbing her momentum, and landed like a feather. She then disappeared into the courtyard bushes.

Entering the courtyard were Louise, Kirche, Tabitha, and Saito.

“Alright, lets begin.” Kirche announced.

“Are you guys really going to duel?” Saito anxiously asked.

“Yes, we are.” Louise confidently answered.

“Isn’t it a bit…dangerous? Lets just stop here and let it go, shall we?”

“That’s true, so whoever gets injured is the idiot,” said Kirche.

“Uh-huh.” Louise nodded.

Tabitha approached Kirche, and whispered something in her ear. Then she pointed at Saito.

“Hmm…now that’s a good idea!” Kirche grinned.

Then, Kirche whispered something to Louise.

“Ah…not bad.” Louise nodded.

And they all looked at Saito. He suddenly had a bad feeling about it.

---

“Hey…are you guys serious?” Saito begged, but nobody cared.

He was hung by rope midair from the main tower. ''Yep…I should have just picked a girl and been done with it.'' On the ground which looked so far, far away he could see the silhouettes of Kirche and Louise. Despite it being the middle of the night, the two moons made for clear vision. He could even see Tabitha on her wind dragon. It held two swords in its mouth.

The two moons shone warmly on Saito.

Kirche and Louise looked up on him, dangling and flopping around in midair.

Kirche rolled up her fists. “Here’s how we do it…first to cut off the rope and let Saito down wins, and the winner’s sword goes to Saito. Sounds good?”

“Got it.” Louise nodded, her face blank.

“No limits on type of spells used. You can go first…my treat.”

“Alright.”

“Okay…good luck.”

Louise brandished her wand. In the air, Tabitha began to shake the rope, wobbling Saito left and right. Spells like “fireball” have high accuracy rates, and as long as the target doesn’t move it can hit it. However, Louise had more than that to worry about – she had to make the spell work in the first place.

Louise thought hard. ''What would work? Wind? Fire? Water and earth are both out…they don’t have many spells that can cut ropes. Fire spells work the best here…''and here Louise remembered that that is exactly what Kirche is good at.

''Kirche’s fireballs will cut that rope easily. I can’t fail this one.''

She picked fireballs anyway. Aiming a small one at the target, she recited the short spell. If she fails, Saito gets Kirche’s sword, and to someone esteemed like Louise, this is completely unacceptable. She finished reciting, and with her utmost concentration, flicked her wand. If it works, a fireball should come out of the tip.

But nothing came out of the wand. The next moment, the wall behind Saito exploded. The shockwave shook Saito even harder. “What the hell?! Are you trying to kill me?!” Saito’s angry yell came to them.

The rope remained intact. If she thought she can use the shockwave to break the rope, she wasn’t thinking. A large crack appeared on the wall.

Kirche collapsed in laughter. “ZERO! ZERO LOUISE! You broke the wall instead of the rope! Now that’s ''talent''!”

Louise looked down.

“Man, I’ve got to ask you…what the heck did you do to make it blow up like that?! Oh god…my sides hurt…”

Louise frustratingly held her fists and kneeled to the ground.

“Next is my turn.” Kirche aimed at the rope like a hunter would his prey. Tabitha was shaking the rope, so it was tough aiming. Despite that, Kirche kept a brisk, easy smile. Chanting a short spell, Kirche waved her wand out of habit. Fire spells are her specialty.

From her wand appeared a melon-sized fireball, flying towards Saito and the rope. It hit the rope, burning it loose in an instant. Saito started to fall to the ground, and Tabitha waved her staff from the rooftop, casting a Spell of Levitation on him, causing him to slowly land to the ground.

Kirche announced in earnest, “I win, Valliere!”

Louise sat down in despair, her hands pulling on the grass.

Meanwhile, Fouquet watched them from the bushes. She saw the crack on the walls from Louise’s blast. ''What kind of magic is that? She asked for a fireball spell, but nothing came out of her wand, and the wall blew up. I’ve never heard of a spell that can make things explode like this.'' She shook her head. ''More importantly, I can’t let go of this chance.'' She started chanting a long spell, waving her wand at the ground when she finished. a mild smile forming on her face. Following her voice, a bulge formed on the ground. Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt is showing her talent.

“What a shame, Valliere!” Kirche laughed.

Her battle lost, Louise reluctantly and gloomily slacked her shoulders. Saito watched her, a complicated emotion on his face. “…why don’t you uh…untie me first?” He managed a low tone. He couldn’t move with the rope wrapped around him in layers.

Kirche smiled, “Oh, why of course, I’ll be glad to!”

Right then, Kirche felt something behind her. She turned around. She couldn’t believe her eyes. “What…what the heck is this?!” Her jaw dropped. What she saw was a huge earth golem moving towards them.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” Kirche ran away screaming.

Saito yelled behind her, “Hey! Hey! Don’t go! Don’t leave me here!” He was in a panic. After all, he has never seen such an enormous golem, and it’s heading towards him. “Wh…what the hell is this?! It’s huge!” Saito wanted to run, but the ropes had him tight on the ground.

Louise recovered her senses and ran towards him.

“You…why are you tied up like this?!”

“Isn’t that your idea?!”

Above them, the golem raised its foot.

Saito lost hope. “Louise, get out of there!” He yelled.

“Dammit…this rope…” Louise tried in vain to untie the knots.

The golem’s foot descended. Saito closed his eyes.

In that instant, Tabitha’s wind dragon slid from the skies, grabbing the two with its talons, and pulled them out with the foot only inches from them. The next moment, the foot crushed everything under it.

Hanging under the wind dragon, Saito and Louise watched the golem. Saito shakily asked, “Wh-wh-what…the hell is that?”

”I’m not sure…but it’s one gigantic earth golem! Somebody must have summoned that!”

”Something that big?!”

”…whoever that summoned this must be a mage with at least Triangle level skill.”

Saito bit his lip, and thought of Louise, who tried to untie him despite her danger. “That aside…why didn’t you run?”

“No respectable master would desert her familiar like that.” She answered dryly.

Saito watched her quietly. For some reason, he found her quite attractive…just now.

Fouquet, standing on the golem’s shoulder, smiled. She paid no attention to the wind dragon or Kirche escaping. A dark cape covered her from head to toe. They could not make out her face. She transformed the fist to a metallic composition, and ordered the golem to punch the wall. A dull thump sounded as the metallic fist hit in the wall, collapsing it. Under her dark cape, Fouquet smiled even more.

The golem transported her in with its hand, and she entered through the hole and into the treasure vault. It stored valuables of every kind, but she had only one target.

The Staff of Destruction.

A row of staffs of many sorts hung on the wall, but one came to her as completely unlike a staff. It was a meter long, and made with a sort of metal that she has never seen before. Fouquet looked at the metal plate right under it, reading “Staff of Destruction, do not remove.” Her smile grew to a grin.

She picked up the Staff of Destruction, and was shocked by its lightness. ''Just what is this thing made of?'' She had no time to ponder. She ran back to the golem’s shoulder.

Just before she left, she burned a message onto the wall:
“I got your Staff of Destruction. –Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.”

With its caped mistress sitting on its shoulder , the golem leaped over the Academy walls, landed with a huge thud, and moved towards the grasslands and beyond.

Above the golem, the wind dragon circled around. Tabitha, sitting on the wind dragon, waved her staff for a Spell of Levitation, moving Saito and Louise onto the dragon’s back. She waved again. The air around Saito shook, and the shockwave cut the rope to pieces.

“Thank you,” he said to Tabitha in gratitude.

Her face remained blank, only nodding in acceptance.

Saito watched the gigantic earth golem, and asked Louise, “That mage…broke the wall. But what for?”

“The treasure vault.” Tabitha answered.

“She was holding something when she came out of that hole.”

“It’s a thief. But…that was quite bold.”

They watched as the giant golem suddenly crumbles mid-run into a large mound of dirt.

They descended to the ground.

There was nothing else besides the mountain of dirt brightly illuminated by the moons. The mage commanding it disappeared into the night, just like that.

Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story2 Chapter4

2007-06-19T16:40:37Z

168.212.234.49: Regular edits; see my thread in the forum for details. --Rednal

==[[zeroNT:Chapter07ClaiesOriginal|Raw English translation available here]]==

==Chapter Seven – Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt==

In Tristain, there was a mage thief by the name of "The Crumbling Dirt," who had every noble in the country in fear. Her full name was Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.

When Fouquet heard that a noble in the North had a jeweled crown, she went all the way there to steal it. When she heard of a noble in the South who had a staff bestowed by the king as a family treasure, she broke through walls to steal it. In the East, none of the best pearl rings by the artisans of the White Islands remained in any mansion. Fouquet also eagerly took possession of a priceless bottle of well-aged wine from a winery in the West. Fouquet was everywhere.

Her tactics range from stealthy infiltration to outright breaking in. She had attacked the national bank in broad daylight, and silently frequented houses in the depth of night. In any case, her tactics simply left the royal mage guards in the dust.

Fouquet was identified only by her use of alchemy to enter targeted rooms, turning doors and walls to dirt and sand, and walking through the gaping holes. The nobles were not stupid, of course. They had tried to magically “solidify” everything around their treasure in an attempt to stop her alchemy, but her magic was simply too strong, nullifying everything, fortified or not, into dirt.

If Fouquet decided on breaking her way in, she used a 30-meter tall dirt golem. Tossing aside mage guards and shattering castle walls, it let her boldly take her prizes in broad daylight.

No one had ever seen Fouquet’s appearance up close. Nobody even knew for sure whether she was a man or a woman. All they knew is that she was an earth mage of at least Triangle class, that she left insulting notes, such as “I got your treasure. –-Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt” at every robbery scene, and that she preferred treasures and artifacts of great magical power.

Two huge moons shine down on the walls outside the fifth floor of the Academy of Magic, which encased a treasure room. The light stretched out a shadow, standing straight against the walls. Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.

Her green, long hair moved with the wind, and she briskly stood, openly showing the figure that strikes fear in all the nobles of the country.

Fouquet felt the wall’s power under her feet and could not help but admire it. ''The main tower of the Academy is as strong as it looks…is a physical attack really its only weakness? I can’t break through something this thick without attracting attention.'' It was not hard for an expert in earth magic like Fouquet to check a wall’s thickness with her feet, but breaking a wall was completely different. ''It looks like they used only hardening spells on it, but I can’t even break this with a golem. It’s got a very strong hardening spell…my alchemy won't do much.''

“Damn it…and I already got this far.” Fouquet bit her lower lips in frustration. “I’m not leaving the Staff of Destruction, no matter what.” She crossed her arms and went into deep concentration.

Meanwhile, as Fouquet thought in annoyance about the wall, Louise’s room was in chaos. Louise and Kirche stared in anger at each other, while Saito, on his straw bed, excitedly studied the sword Kirche had just presented to him. Tabitha nonchalantly read on Louise’s bed.

Louise had her arms on her waist. “What is the meaning of this, Zerbst?” She glared at her rival.

Kirche watched Saito’s admiration, “I told you, I got what Saito wanted, so I came here to give it to him.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. I already got my familiar a weapon. Right, Saito?”

On the contrary, Saito couldn’t let go of Kirche’s gift. He unsheathed the sword and stared at it. When he held a sword, the inscriptions in his left hand glowed, while his body became light as a feather. He wanted to swing it around, but he was indoors. He still couldn’t figure out what the deal about his left hand was. All he knew is that it glowed if he held a sword.

But all he cared about at this moment was this beautifully decorated blade.

“This is so awesome…I still like this one more…and it shines!”

Louise kicked him into the air.

“What are you doing?!” Saito yelled.

“Give that back. Don’t you already have that talking sword?”

“Uh…that’s true…it’s interesting that a sword can speak, but still…” ''It’s so rusty and old and so broken. If a swordsman uses anything, it’s got to be shiny and cool, right? Besides, Kirche just gave me this for free…''

“Jealous words are quite unmannerly, Valliere!” Kirche trumpeted triumphantly.

“Jealous? Who’s jealous?”

“Aren't you? I, Kirche, easily got Saito’s most desired sword as a gift. You can’t say you’re not jealous, can you?”

“Jealous, my butt! That aside, I will not accept even a tiny bit of generosity from a Zerbst! That’s all there is!”

Kirche looked at Saito, who stared reluctantly at the decorated sword in Louise’s hands.

“You see that? Saito loves this sword, got it? This sword is created by Germania’s very own alchemist Lord Shupei!” Kirche threw a seductive glare to Saito. “You listen here…all that is good under the sun, let it be swords or women, can only come from Germania! Tristainian women, like Louise, are all extremely jealous, impatient, miserly, and snobbish, and nothing can change them!”

Louise glared at Kirche.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“Oh…how…amusing. Women like you are all romantic-minded idiots! Did you hook up with too many guys back in Germania, making nobody trust you, and ending up dropping out and running all the way over here to Tristania?” Louise said all that to Kirche with a cold, uncompromising laugh, interspersed with angry shivers.

“You have guts, Valliere…” Kirche’s face darkened.

Louise only victoriously added, “What? I’m just telling the truth.”

They simultaneously brandished their wands.

Tabitha flicked her staff even faster than the two, blowing their wands away in a gust.

“Indoors.” she simply announced.

''Probably meaning it’s dangerous to fight in here.''

“And who is this? She’s been sitting on my bed since…” Louise angrily muttered.

“She’s my friend.” Kirche answered.

“And why is your friend in my room?”

Kirche stared. “Is that a problem?”

“Hmmph.”

Saito tried to talk with Tabitha, who did not reply, only quietly reading her book, as if she really disliked conversation.

Meanwhile, Louise and Kirche still glared at each other.

Kirche looked away, “Well…lets have Saito decide.”

“Me? Decide?” Saito immediately felt distressed for being singled out.

“Right. This is about your choice of swords.” Louise also looked at him.

Now Saito felt worse. He liked Kirche’s shiny blade the most, hands down. ''But Louise will never let me pick that. She might not let me have dinner for a week, although I guess I can get that from Siesta, but still…''

He looked at Louise, who glared at him. ''Louise may be a selfish, self-centered, ungrateful girl, but she did take care of me when I was out for days…and I like her looks more…''

''Then again…Kirche bought me this really expensive sword. To top that, a beautiful one like her actually confessed to me. Before this, there is simply no way for me to land someone that good-looking…''

''Okay, that just made this impossibly hard. Now it just feels like I’m picking between the two of them and not the sword.''

“Well? Which is it?” Kirche and Louise both stared at him.

“Uh, well…can’t I have both?” Saito tilted his head and tried to look cute.

It didn’t work. He was sent to the air by two kicks and collapsed in his straw bed.

“Hey.” Kirche turned to Louise.

“What?”

“Guess it’s time to get this over with.”

“Hmm…you’re right.”

“I really hate you, you know?”

“Same to you.”

“We think quite alike.” Kirche smiled and raised a brow.

Louise, too, defiantly stuck her chin up.

They shouted in unison: “Let’s duel!”

“Geez…you don’t have to…” Saito was shocked. The two glared at each other as if they did not hear him.

“But of course, we have to do this with magic!” Kirche triumphantly declared.

Louise bit her lip, and nodded. “Fine. Location?”

“Really? You sure, Louise the Zero? Are you really sure you want to fight me in a magical duel?” Kirche goaded.

Louise lowered her head. ''Am I sure? Of course…not.'' But it was a challenge from a Zerbst, so she had to take it. “Of course! I will not lose to you!”

Meanwhile, standing on the walls of the central academy tower, Fouquet felt footsteps. She jumped off towards the ground, and just as she reached it, she whispered “Spell of Levitation”, absorbing her momentum, and landed like a feather. She then disappeared into the courtyard bushes.

Entering the courtyard were Louise, Kirche, Tabitha, and Saito.

“Alright, lets begin.” Kirche announced.

“Are you guys really going to duel?” Saito anxiously asked.

“Yes, we are.” Louise confidently answered.

“Isn’t it a bit…dangerous? Lets just stop here and let it go, shall we?”

“That’s true, so whoever gets injured is the idiot,” said Kirche.

“Uh-huh.” Louise nodded.

Tabitha approached Kirche, and whispered something in her ear. Then she pointed at Saito.

“Hmm…now that’s a good idea!” Kirche grinned.

Then, Kirche whispered something to Louise.

“Ah…not bad.” Louise nodded.

And they all looked at Saito. He suddenly had a bad feeling about it.

---

“Hey…are you guys serious?” Saito begged, but nobody cared.

He was hung by rope midair from the main tower. ''Yep…I should have just picked a girl and been done with it.'' On the ground which looked so far, far away he could see the silhouettes of Kirche and Louise. Despite it being the middle of the night, the two moons made for clear vision. He could even see Tabitha on her wind dragon. It held two swords in its mouth.

The two moons shone warmly on Saito.

Kirche and Louise looked up on him, dangling and flopping around in midair.

Kirche rolled up her fists. “Here’s how we do it…first to cut off the rope and let Saito down wins, and the winner’s sword goes to Saito. Sounds good?”

“Got it.” Louise nodded, her face blank.

“No limits on type of spells used. You can go first…my treat.”

“Alright.”

“Okay…good luck.”

Louise brandished her wand. In the air, Tabitha began to shake the rope, wobbling Saito left and right. Spells like “fireball” have high accuracy rates, and as long as the target doesn’t move it can hit it. However, Louise had more than that to worry about – she had to make the spell work in the first place.

Louise thought hard. ''What would work? Wind? Fire? Water and earth are both out…they don’t have many spells that can cut ropes. Fire spells work the best here…''and here Louise remembered that that is exactly what Kirche is good at.

''Kirche’s fireballs will cut that rope easily. I can’t fail this one.''

She picked fireballs anyway. Aiming a small one at the target, she recited the short spell. If she fails, Saito gets Kirche’s sword, and to someone esteemed like Louise, this is completely unacceptable. She finished reciting, and with her utmost concentration, flicked her wand. If it works, a fireball should come out of the tip.

But nothing came out of the wand. The next moment, the wall behind Saito exploded. The shockwave shook Saito even harder. “What the hell?! Are you trying to kill me?!” Saito’s angry yell came to them.

The rope remained intact. If she thought she can use the shockwave to break the rope, she wasn’t thinking. A large crack appeared on the wall.

Kirche collapsed in laughter. “ZERO! ZERO LOUISE! You broke the wall instead of the rope! Now that’s ''talent''!”

Louise looked down.

“Man, I’ve got to ask you…what the heck did you do to make it blow up like that?! Oh god…my sides hurt…”

Louise frustratingly held her fists and kneeled to the ground.

“Next is my turn.” Kirche aimed at the rope like a hunter would his prey. Tabitha was shaking the rope, so it was tough aiming. Despite that, Kirche kept a brisk, easy smile. Chanting a short spell, Kirche waved her wand out of habit. Fire spells are her specialty.

From her wand appeared a melon-sized fireball, flying towards Saito and the rope. It hit the rope, burning it loose in an instant. Saito started to fall to the ground, and Tabitha waved her staff from the rooftop, casting a Spell of Levitation on him, causing him to slowly land to the ground.

Kirche announced in earnest, “I win, Valliere!”

Louise sat down in despair, her hands pulling on the grass.

Meanwhile, Fouquet watched them from the bushes. She saw the crack on the walls from Louise’s blast. ''What kind of magic is that? She asked for a fireball spell, but nothing came out of her wand, and the wall blew up. I’ve never heard of a spell that can make things explode like this.'' She shook her head. ''More importantly, I can’t let go of this chance.'' She started chanting a long spell, waving her wand at the ground when she finished. a mild smile forming on her face. Following her voice, a bulge formed on the ground. Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt is showing her talent.

“What a shame, Valliere!” Kirche laughed.

Her battle lost, Louise reluctantly and gloomily slacked her shoulders. Saito watched her, a complicated emotion on his face. “…why don’t you uh…untie me first?” He managed a low tone. He couldn’t move with the rope wrapped around him in layers.

Kirche smiled, “Oh, why of course, I’ll be glad to!”

Right then, Kirche felt something behind her. She turned around. She couldn’t believe her eyes. “What…what the heck is this?!” Her jaw dropped. What she saw was a huge earth golem moving towards them.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” Kirche ran away screaming.

Saito yelled behind her, “Hey! Hey! Don’t go! Don’t leave me here!” He was in a panic. After all, he has never seen such an enormous golem, and it’s heading towards him. “Wh…what the hell is this?! It’s huge!” Saito wanted to run, but the ropes had him tight on the ground.

Louise recovered her senses and ran towards him.

“You…why are you tied up like this?!”

“Isn’t that your idea?!”

Above them, the golem raised its foot.

Saito lost hope. “Louise, get out of there!” He yelled.

“Dammit…this rope…” Louise tried in vain to untie the knots.

The golem’s foot descended. Saito closed his eyes.

In that instant, Tabitha’s wind dragon slid from the skies, grabbing the two with its talons, and pulled them out with the foot only inches from them. The next moment, the foot crushed everything under it.

Hanging under the wind dragon, Saito and Louise watched the golem. Saito shakily asked, “Wh-wh-what…the hell is that?”

”I’m not sure…but it’s one gigantic earth golem! Somebody must have summoned that!”

”Something that big?!”

”…whoever that summoned this must be a mage with at least Triangle level skill.”

Saito bit his lip, and thought of Louise, who tried to untie him despite her danger. “That aside…why didn’t you run?”

“No respectable master would desert her familiar like that.” She answered dryly.

Saito watched her quietly. For some reason, he found her quite attractive…just now.

Fouquet, standing on the golem’s shoulder, smiled. She paid no attention to the wind dragon or Kirche escaping. A dark cape covered her from head to toe. They could not make out her face. She transformed the fist to a metallic composition, and ordered the golem to punch the wall. A dull thump sounded as the metallic fist hit in the wall, collapsing it. Under her dark cape, Fouquet smiled even more.

The golem transported her in with its hand, and she entered through the hole and into the treasure vault. It stored valuables of every kind, but she had only one target.

The Staff of Destruction.

A row of staffs of many sorts hung on the wall, but one came to her as completely unlike a staff. It was a meter long, and made with a sort of metal that she has never seen before. Fouquet looked at the metal plate right under it, reading “Staff of Destruction, do not remove.” Her smile grew to a grin.

She picked up the Staff of Destruction, and was shocked by its lightness. ''Just what is this thing made of?'' She had no time to ponder. She ran back to the golem’s shoulder.

Just before she left, she burned a message onto the wall:
“I got your Staff of Destruction. –Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt.”

With its caped mistress sitting on its shoulder , the golem leaped over the Academy walls, landed with a huge thud, and moved towards the grasslands and beyond.

Above the golem, the wind dragon circled around. Tabitha, sitting on the wind dragon, waved her staff for a Spell of Levitation, moving Saito and Louise onto the dragon’s back. She waved again. The air around Saito shook, and the shockwave cut the rope to pieces.

“Thank you,” he said to Tabitha in gratitude.

Her face remained blank, only nodding in acceptance.

Saito watched the gigantic earth golem, and asked Louise, “That mage…broke the wall. But what for?”

“The treasure vault.” Tabitha answered.

“She was holding something when she came out of that hole.”

“It’s a thief. But…that was quite bold.”

They watched as the giant golem suddenly crumbles mid-run into a large mound of dirt.

They descended to the ground.

There was nothing else besides the mountain of dirt brightly illuminated by the moons. The mage commanding it disappeared into the night, just like that.

User:Jumpyshoes

2007-06-14T14:12:43Z

168.212.234.49: Fixed Dokuro-chan's chant. ^^

'''Psycho-Loli''' (サイコ-ロリ) is a Baka-Tsuki term for a female character that display sudden signs of violence and mental instability. It is a character archetype in many Japanese anime, games and manga. The term is exclusive only for women (who are usually under the age of consent), while the term ‘Psycho-shota’ may be applied, in rare cases, to male characters who display similar traits. Like nekomimi and tsunderekko, Psycho-Lolis are considered to be moe-inspiring characters.

The term ‘Psycho-Loli’ is not to be mixed up with the term Yandere, which has a similar meaning. While ‘Psycho-Loli’ applies to any female character that displays signs of mental instability, ‘Yandere’ only applies to characters who appear kind and loving on the outside but is actually brutal and psychotic on the inside. As such, ‘Psycho-Loli’ could be considered to be a more general term.

==Famous Psycho-Lolis:==
Note: This is not a complete list. Additional characters may be added over time.

===Ryuugu “Rena” Reina===
[[Image:Rena.jpg|thumb|right|Ryuugu Reina in the horror mystery anime, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni]]
Anime series: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

Often seen wielding a large cleaver, Ryuugu “Rena” Reina is one of the most famous examples of a ‘Psycho-Loli’. While she appears to be generally nice and friendly on the outside, all it takes is a mention of a Shrine God named ‘Oyashiro-sama’ for her to start displaying signs of psychoticness. She is a fervent believer of Oyashiro-sama and his so-called curse, one which affects any villager who dares leave their village of Hinamizawa.

She also appears to have an insatiable liking for things cute and sweet, including (but not limited to) stuffed bears, dolls, broken rice cookers, old tires and broken figures of the Colonel.

Memorable Psychotic Scenes:
:* Smashing all the windows in her school with a baseball bat.
:* Apologizing in the middle of the rain.
:* Taking an entire school hostage with a home-made time bomb.
:* Chopping up her dad’s girlfriend with a cleaver

Memorable Quotes:
:* USO DA!! (You Liar!!)
:* “… kana, kana?”

===Dokuro-chan===
[[Image:Dokuro.jpg|thumb|right]]
Anime Series: Bokusatsu Tenshi: Dokuro-chan

Dokuro-chan is an angel from the future who has come to the present to protect a certain boy named Sakura. She brandishes the large spiked club named Excalibolg, which she uses to protect Sakura from harm. The club also doubles as an excellent tool for punishment, and more often than not it is used to bash Sakura to death. In addition, it allows Dokuro-chan to transmogrify annoying people (such as the class representative) into various animals (like monkeys or dogs).

Memorable Psychotic Scenes:
:* Killing Sakura during the first 5 minutes of any given episode
:* Having explosive diarrhea as her halo is removed
:* Turning the class rep into a monkey

Memorable Quotes:
:* Pipiru piru piru Pipiru Pi!
:* Oh no, Sakura-kun’s brains are going down the drain!

Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story2 Chapter2

2007-06-13T17:19:06Z

168.212.234.49: General edits; see my forum thread for details

== [[zeroNT:Gandvol01editchpter05control|Raw English Translation Available Here]] ==

== Chapter 5: Kirche the Ardent ==

The night after Saito thoroughly shamed Louise in class with his sleep-talking, Louise unceremoniously threw his pile of hay into the hallway.

“What are you doing?”

“It'd be a bother if I snuck into your bed again, right?”

It seemed she was still upset over what happened earlier in class. “But it's kind of cold outside the room with the wind blowing around.”

“Well, no doubt I'll come and warm you in your dreams,” said Louise, arching her shapely eyebrows. What a bitter girl. She looked determined to make Saito sleep out in the hallway no matter what.

He took his blanket and went out to the hallway. The moment he left the room, the door locked with a loud click. Wind rushed in from the open window, making Saito shiver.



Muttering about the cold, Saito wrapped the blanket around himself and lay down on the hay. The chill of the stone floor seeped into his body. ''No heaters either. I'm freezing.''

''Making me suffer like this just because of a dream!'' Saito kicked Louise's door. Of course, there was no response.

Saito began plotting his revenge. ''Cutting the elastic in her panties is no longer enough.'' As he lay shivering in his blanket wondering how he would get one back on that little girl...

The door to Kirche’s room opened.

Her salamander Flame crawled out, with its burning tail emitting a warm glow. The two stared at each other. The salamander shuffled closer to Saito, who unconsciously began to back away.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

"Kyurukyuru," it growled comfortingly. It looked harmless before it clamped its jaws on Saito’s sleeve, shaking its head as if asking him to follow it.

“Hey, let go! You’ll light my blanket on fire!” said Saito to an insistent Flame, which only pulled harder.



Kirche’s room remained open. ''Is it trying to drag me in there?'' Indeed it was. ''I don't think Flame is dragging me for the fun of it. What could Kirche possibly want from me?'' Saito brainstormed the reasons. ''Maybe she just wants to lecture me about quarreling with Louise.'' As if in a trance, Saito stepped into Kirche’s room.



The room was pitch dark, save for Flame’s mild glow. Kirche’s voice commanded from the darkness, “Close the door.” Saito obliged.

“Welcome to my room.”

“It’s pretty dark in here.”

He heard Kirche snap her fingers. Starting from the one nearest him, lamps lit up one by one towards Kirche like lights floating above a street.



Doused in the mild glow, Kirche sat on her bed, with a look of worry on her face. She was wearing attractive underwear, or rather, just plain underwear. One thing was for sure: supported only by her sexy bra, her full breasts were the size of cantaloupes.

“Don’t just stand there. Come to me.” Kirche cooed with her most captivating voice.

Saito shakily wandered to a smiling Kirche, as if in a dream.

“Sit down.”

Saito sat on her side as he was told. His mind was filled with Kirche’s nearly nude body.

“Wh-what is it?” Saito asked nervously. Kirche merely stared at him while slowly waving her fiery red hair. Under the faint lamp light, Kirche’s brown skin looked wildly erotic, as if trying to capture Saito to do her bidding.

Kirche made a long sigh, and worriedly shook her head.



“You must think me a lowly, despicable woman.”

“Kirche?”

“To be thought so is inevitable. Do you understand? My runic name is ‘Ardent’.”

“I know that.”

''That cleavage in her bra’s gaps is so sexy...''

“My lust is as flammable as hay... that’s why I suddenly called you here. Don’t you get it? Isn’t this really bad of me?”

“That is indeed very bad.” Saito seemed unsure and just played along. He never had a foreign girl speak her heart out to him like this, so he was rather nervous.

“But... I’m sure you’ll forgive me.”

Kirche looked at Saito with moist, watery eyes. Any man would show his most primitive instincts after looking at these eyes.

“For-forgive what?”

Kirche suddenly clasped Saito’s hand, enveloping them with her warm palms before slowly caressing through every finger, sending sparks through his spine.

“Loving you, my dear. To you, my love is that sudden.”



“Yeah, that’s sudden all right!” Saito’s mind was a mess. ''She must be joking.'' Despite that thought, Kirche’s face looked serious.

“Your grandeur in defeating Guiche is... just... so cool... like a hero of the legends. Me... when I saw you right that moment I was in love. Can you believe it? I was attracted to you just like that! Passion! Oh, this is a passionate love!”

“Pa-passion, huh? Uh...”

“My runic name, ‘Ardent’, is quite passionate too. I’ve been writing love songs since that day! Love songs! Just for you... Saito. You appear in my dreams every night, so I told Flame to see how you’re doing... oh, I’m so embarrassed. You must think that too, am I right? But it’s all because of you!”

Saito just sat there, at a complete loss of words.

Kirche took his silence as acceptance, and slowly, with closed eyes, approached Saito with her lips. ''So sexy. I mean... Louise is attractive too. But when it comes to sexiness, she is no match for Kirche. Though Louise is really cute, that part of her is just skin deep.''

However, Saito pushed Kirche’s shoulders away. Because he felt like something bad will happen otherwise.



Kirche looked at Saito with surprise, as if asking “Why?”. Saito looked away from her body.

“W-well... from what you said...”

“Hmm?”

“You... fall in love too easily.” Saito stuttered, hitting Kirche’s weak point. Her face turned red in an instant.

“Yeah... I guess I have more... passion than others. That can’t be helped. Love is sudden, and it burns my body so quickly...”

At that moment, a voice from outside the window interrupted her.

A beautiful playboy looked inside indignantly.

“Kirche... I came to check because you weren’t there on time...”

“Berisson! We’ll meet two hours later then!” 

“That wasn’t what we agreed on!” They were on the third floor. ''It looks like this Berisson  guy is floating on air with some magic spell.''

Kirche nonchalantly took out her wand from between her breasts, and waved it without even looking at him. Flame shot out from a nearby lamp and flew into the gentleman at the window like a snake.



“What an annoying owl.”

Saito watched in shock.

“Eh... you didn’t hear all that, did you?”

“Uh... who was that?”

“Just a friend. Whatever... right now, my deepest, most passionate love is you, Saito...”

Kirche approached him with her lips again. Saito did not move a muscle, as an irresistible desire invaded him.

At that moment, they were interrupted again.

A sharp-looking man peered into the room with a sad face.

“Kirche! Who is that guy? Aren’t you going to heat up the night with me?”

“Styx! How does four hours later sound?”

“Who is that guy, Kirche?”

This Styx guy was getting mad, and as he was about to enter the room, Kirche waved her wand again. The fire flew from the lamp again, hit the man, and sent him to the ground.



“......I take that he’s your friend too?”

“Instead of ‘friend’, lets just say that I’ve only heard of him. Oh well, I don’t want to waste our time. Whoever said ‘the night is long’ didn’t know how quickly the sun rises.”

Kirche drew near Saito again. And again, a groan came from the window. Saito impatiently turned around.

Three men looked inside, and said the same thing at the same time.

“Kirche! Who the hell is this?! You said you don’t have any lovers!”

“Manican! Ajax! Gimli!”

''Oh wow... five completely different people showed up.'' Saito was impressed.

“Well... six hours later then,” Kirche waved irritably.

“That’s the morning!!!” the three said in unison.

“Flame.” Kirche casually ordered her salamander, who was sleeping in the corner. Flame sent a blaze towards the three men at the window, and they fell to the ground together.



“And those are...?”

“Them? I don’t even know them. But, most of all, I love you!”

Kirche held Saito’s face with her hands and went straight for his lips.

“N...nhhhh...”

Saito panicked. Kirche’s kiss felt not disgusting, but full of passion. Saito did not resist her from pinning him to the bed.

At that moment...

This time it was the door. Somebody kicked it open.

Saito thought it was just another guy. He was dead wrong. Wearing her thin pajamas, Louise stood and stared at the two from the doorway.

Kirche mildly eyed Louise, and kept her lips locked with Saito’s.

Louise murderously moved towards Saito and Kirche, knocking down a few lamps in the process. Louise’s hands moved faster than her mouth. More impressively is that her legs moved faster than her hands.

“KIRCHE!” Louise howled towards Kirche’s general direction. Kirche acted like she just noticed her presence, and slowly removed herself from Saito, while waving her hand indignantly.



“Don’t you see that we’re kind of busy here, Valliere?”

“Zerbst! Whose familiar do you think you’re touching?”

Saito was at a loss. Louise’s brown eyes glimmered with fiery anger.

Kirche raised her hands above her head. Stuck between the two, Saito only panicked. It seemed that letting the whole situation develop into Kirche kissing him had made Louise extraordinarily angry.

“Love and fire are the Zerbst family’s destiny. It’s a fate that burns in our bodies. It is our lifelong goal to embrace this passionate flame. You should know that.” Kirche shrugged, while Louise shook in anger.


“Come here, Saito.” Louise stared at her familiar.

“Oh? Louise... he is indeed your familiar, but he has his own will too, don’t you think? Please respect his choice.” Kirche said at the side.

“Sh-she’s right! Who I hang out with is my business!” Saito added.

Louise raised her voice. “You... by tomorrow you’ll be run through by magic from at least ten nobles! Is that all right with you?!”



“Oh, no problem with that. Didn’t you see how good he was in the courtyard today?”

Louise flapped her right hand. “Eh... so his swordfighting skills are good, but that doesn’t matter when he’s attacked by fireballs from the back and whirlwinds from the front.”

“No problem! I’ll protect him!” Kirche gave Saito a passionate look.

However, because of Louise’s words, Saito thought it over.

''If those guys that just visited us at the window find out about me, maybe they would attack me. Kirche won’t be able to cover me all the time, even if she said she would. That and Kirche changes her mind pretty often. She’ll be bored of protecting me in no time.''

After some calm reasoning, Saito reluctantly stood up.



“Aww...are you leaving so soon?” Kirche sadly peered at Saito, with her hair spread to her back, and her twinkling eyes seemed to painfully tear. ''Kirche is one addicting beauty... if a girl like her sticks to me, who cares if I get hit with magic left and right?'' Saito thought wildly.

“That’s her usual tactic! Don’t be fooled by her.” Louise tugged Saito’s hand, and walked out.

Back in her room, she closed the door with a deadly silence, and faced Saito. Forcefully biting her lip, she sent him a murderous glare.

“Like some stray dog in heat...” her voice was quivering. Louise’s hands move faster than her mouth, and her feet move faster than her hands. It looked like her voice would get shakier soon. Anger filled her face.

“W-what now?”

“I almost saw you as a person. Looks like I was wrong.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” ''Yeah. See me as a person? Sounds like a lie no matter how I think about it.''

“And you went to wag your tail at that Zerbst witch...” Louise reached into a drawer in her desk for something. A whip.



“Uhh...M-miss...” Saito started to stutter.

“Dogs must be treated like dogs. I’ve been too soft on you.”

“But why the whip?” Saito eyed the whip in Louise’s hand. It was quite well made.

“I’m going far out of my way to use a horse’s whip on you. You’re just a dog.”

“A dog, huh?”

Louise started whipping. Pishi-Pishi-! 

“Ow! It hurts! Stop, you idiot!”

“What? How is that girl better? What is so good about her?” Louise yelled and whipped.

Saito noticed an opening, and grabbed Louise’s hands. She struggled, but the strength of the girl was not enough. Saito kept his grip on her wrists, and then she stopped.

“Ahh! Let go, you moron!”



“Are you...” Saito bore into Louise. Brown eyes stared back. Up close, one can see an irresistible face.

''Cute. Kirche is a beauty, quite sexy. But Louise is like an empty canvas. Not a single speck of dirt...a clean canvas. It’s just that her character is a bit...'' No matter how Saito said it, he liked Louise better. His heart started beating in sixteenth notes. ''Is she jealous? Does she have a crush on me?'' In Saito’s eyes, thinking like this makes Louise look even cuter. All things considered, Saito is as weak as Kirche in romance.

“Are you jealous? Do you like me?” said Saito. “Were you angry because I didn’t sleep with you and went off with Kirche doing all that? Oh, I didn’t notice. I am sorry.” He lowered his head, and raised Louise’s chin.

“I think you’re not bad either. Look, when you helped bandage me you were really...”

Louise’s shoulders shivered.



“...I should be going for you because I’m a guy. Tonight, I will sleep on your bed, so you won’t have to go to mine.”

Louise’s right foot suddenly moved like a gust, and shot Saito one between his legs.

“......ahhh....ohhh.......” Saito went on his knees, his body covered in cold sweat. ''Oh...that hurt. I think I’m going to die. That REALLY hurt.''

“Like? I...do what...to you?” Louise angrily stepped on his head.

“Did...did I get that wrong?”

“Obviously so!” she continued stepping.

“Al-all right...I was wrong...”

Louise sat on a chair, crossing her legs, her breathing still uneven. After fiercely torturing Saito for a while, her mood seemed to slightly improve.

“Sure...you can go out with anybody you choose. But, no matter what, you must not go out with that woman.”

“W-why?” Saito hopped around as if to minimize the pain.

“First, Kirche isn’t a Tristainian; she’s a noble from neighboring Germania. Just that makes going out with her completely unacceptable. I hate Germanians.”



“How do you expect me to know these things?”

“My house, Valliere, has estates on Germania’s borders, so we’re the first on the field against Germanians the moment any war starts. Even worse, right opposite to us on that border is Kirche’s birthplace.” Louise bit down hard on her teeth. “So basically, the Zerbst family is our sworn enemy.”

“And they call themselves a passionate family.”

“Just a low, unworthy family. Kirche’s great-great-grandfather stole away my great-great-grandfather’s lover! That was around 200 years ago.”

“That’s quite a while ago.”

“Plus, that Zerbst constantly slanders Valliere. My great-great-grandfather’s fiancé was stolen away because of that.”

“Huh?”

“My great-great-grandfather’s! His wife was taken away just like that.”



“Okay, whatever...so basically, this is all because your family lost a lover to Kirche’s family?”

“Not just that. We've lost count on how many family members we've lost from the wars.”

“I’m just a lowly little familiar...it’s not like I’m worth being stolen.”

“No. I will not let Kirche steal a single bird. I’ll shame my ancestors if that happens.” With that, Louise poured a glass of water, and downed it in one gulp. “That is why Kirche’s forbidden.”

“Your ancestors have nothing to do with me.”

“Yes they do! You’re my familiar, right? As long as you eat from the Valliere family, you are to follow my orders.”

“Familiar this, familiar that...” Saito stared discontently at Louise.

“You have a problem with that?”



“No, because I can’t live if I don’t do what you say, so I’ll just have to live with it...” Saito stuck up his lip, and sat on the ground with a thump.

“And I think you should thank me.”

“Thank you for what?”

“If the word that a commoner became Kirche’s lover gets out, do you think you’ll survive?”

Saito remembered the men Kirche shooed away, and blasted like flies to the ground...''if that was me...what would that feel like?'' Saito also remembered his fight with Guiche, and a shiver went down his spine.

“...Louise.”

“What?”

“Give me a sword. A sword.” Saito wanted to protect himself.

“Don’t you have one?”

“How would I? The one from last time was Guiche’s.”

Louise crossed her arms. “Are you a swordsman?”



“No...I’ve never held one before.”

“But you looked like a natural in that fight.”

“But still...”

“Hmm...” Louise went into deep thought.

“What?”

“I heard familiars get special powers when the contract is made.”

“Special powers?”

“Yeah...like when a black cat became a familiar...” Louise raised a finger in the air and explained.

“Uh-huh...”

“It gets the ability to talk to people.”

“But I’m not a cat.”

“I know. Thing is...a human as a familiar is something totally unheard of, so it’s not impossible that you can just pick up a sword and use it like a natural.”



“Huh...” ''I didn’t just use it like a natural. My body felt light and fast like a feather. Besides, Guiche’s statues were made of bronze. There’s no way you can cut into metal that easily, no matter how skilled a swordsman you are.''

“If it’s that incredible, we should go ask Tristain's Academia.”

“Academia?”

“Yeah. It’s the Royal Court’s magic research agency.”

“What would they do to me for research?”

“Ah... many kinds of experiments. Like... autopsies.”

“You’re kidding me.” Saito stood up. ''Human experimentation? No, thanks!''

“If you think that’s disgusting, then don’t spread that ‘using a sword like a master in an instant’ around for no good reason.”

“I got it. We can keep that quiet.” Saito nodded in fear.

“Ah... I get it now...” Louise nodded in understanding.



“Get what?”

“I’ll buy you a sword.”

“Oh?” ''Well that was sudden. Louise is always so stingy.''

“You never have enough lives if Kirche has her eyes on you. We brought that on ourselves, so we’ll have to take care of it.” Louise weakly said.

“How rare...”

“What?” Louise stared at Saito.

“I thought you’re such a miser. You even freak out about my food.”

“I can’t let a familiar get used to luxury. It makes for bad habits. If it’s absolutely necessary, I’ll buy it. I’m not a stingy person.” Louise said proudly.

“Huh?!”

“Now that you get it, go to sleep. Tomorrow is the Day of Nothing, so I’ll take you shopping.”

''Oh... so this world has Sundays too.'' Saito thought as he moved towards the hallway.



“Where are you going?”

“Where? To the hallway.”

“It’s all right. You can sleep in my room. If Kirche grabs you again it will be troublesome.”

Saito looked at Louise. “So you really are...”

Louise was about to take her whip again when Saito stopped, dove on his straw bed, and wrapped himself in the blanket. He looked at the inscriptions in his left hand.

''For lighting up, this thing helped me defeat Guiche, got Kirche head over heels for me, and got Louise to buy a sword for me. What else is this thing going to bring me?'' As he thought, drowsiness attacked him. ''What a long day...'' as he thought it, Saito fell fast asleep.

<!-- Page 166: Cross-reference
''(paragraph continued)''
leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"The corridor, that's where."

"It's fine, just sleep inside. It'd be a bother if Kirche came for you again."

Saito stared at Louise.

"What?"

"You really do..."

Louise reached out for the whip, but Saito quickly shut his mouth and brought his haystack into the room. Wrapping the blanket around himself, he lay down on it.

And stared at the runes on his left hand.

''Thanks to these glowing, I beat Guiche, charmed Kirche, and got Louise to buy me a sword.''
''Just where what do these markings have in store for me in the future...''
As he lay there thinking, drowsiness swept over him. ''Today was a long day too...'' he thought, as he finally drifted off to sleep.

Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story2 Chapter1

2007-06-12T17:06:42Z

168.212.234.49: General editing; refer to my thread in the forums

== Chapter 04 ==
'''Chapter Four: A Familiar's Day'''

It had been a week since Saito started his life as Louise's familiar at Tristain Magic Academy. If one were to explain an average day for Saito, it would read like the following: 

<center>* * *</center>

First, like the majority of animals and humans in Tristain, he woke up in the morning. His bed was, as usual, the floor, though compared to the first day it had mostly improved. Finding that his body hurt all night if he slept on the hard floor, Saito had asked the maid Siesta for some of the hay that was fed to the horses and had packed it into a corner of the room. Saito slept on the pile of  hay, wrapped in the blanket that Louise had so "graciously" bestowed upon him.


Louise called Saito's makeshift bed "the chicken's nest," which was appropriate as chickens slept on hay, and as the first thing Saito did every morning was to wake Louise up, like a rooster.

But he had to, because there would be trouble for him if Louise woke up first. 

"A stupid familiar that has to be woken by its master needs to be punished." Louise never forgot to remind him. 


If Saito ever overslept, he'd be denied breakfast. 

Once woken up, Louise got changed. She put on her underwear by herself, but made Saito dress her in her uniform. This was mentioned before.
 

With her enchanting looks, Saito was breathless every time he saw Louise in her underwear. They say you get used to a beautiful lover in three days, but it didn't seem Saito would get used to Louise anytime soon.

Maybe because he was her familiar, not her lover. Still, always by Louise's side, he essentially was one. The only difference was in her attitude and treatment of him.

Getting to see Louise like this every day wasn't all bad. However, it was a persistent wound to his pride. When helping Louise into her shoes, for example, he couldn't hide the irritation from his face.

At least that much was tolerated, but if Saito ever said anything to set Louise off, things became bothersome.

"A rude familiar that displeases its master this early in the morning needs to be punished," was another of Louise's mottos.


If Saito ever teased Louise about her breast size, or got pouty and said something like, "Do up the buttons yourself," he'd be denied breakfast.

Dressed in her uniform, which consisted of a black cloak, a white blouse, and a grey pleated skirt, Louise then washed her face and brushed her teeth. The room didn't even have sensible things like running water installed, so Saito had to go down to the fountain and bring up water for Louise's use in a bucket. And, of course, Louise didn't wash her face herself. She made Saito do it. 



One morning, while he was wiping her face with a towel, he lightly traced Louise's face with a piece of charcoal he had found.

Seeing his masterwork drawn on Louise's face, Saito barely held in a snigger. Then in pretend obsequience, he politely bowed his head to Louise.

"Mistress. You are the epitome of beauty this day." 

Due to low blood pressure, Louise could only manage a sleepy reply.  


"...Are you plotting something?"

"Myself? I am simply a familiar serving the orders of my mistress. I would not dare to plot!"

Louise was suspicious of Saito's sudden and excessive politeness, but since she was almost late for class, she didn't question him any further.

With her vividly rosy cheeks, charming hazel eyes, and lips that seemed carved from fine coral, Louise knew she didn't need to decorate herself, so she didn't wear any kind of make-up. In other words, this meant she didn't look in the mirror much. And this day was no different. The result: she had absolutely no idea of the "make-up" that Saito had applied on her.


Louise headed out to class in that state. The time being what it was, she didn't encounter anyone in the hallways or stairs.


Louise opened the classroom door panting. As one, her classmates looked at her and exploded with laughter.

"Hey, looking good, Louise!"

"Oh my god! That's '''so''' you!"

Afterwards, when Mister Colbert kindly complimented the stylish glasses and moustache sketched on her face, Louise went berserk. She went out into the hallway where Saito was holding his stomach as he rolled on the floor in hysteric laughter, slapped him a dozen times, and cut his meals for the entire day.

According to Louise, a familiar that treated its master's face like a piece of canvas was akin to the demons of old that opposed the Founder Brimir and his many allied gods, and such demons were not worthy of the bread and soup granted by the Lady Queen.

<center>* * *</center>

After breakfast, Saito cleaned Louise's room. This involved sweeping the floor with a broom and wiping the table and windows with a cloth.

And then there was the oh-so-enjoyable laundry. He took the laundry down to the fountain and scrubbed it clean against a washboard. There was no warm water, only icy cold water that bit fiercely at his fingers. Louise's underwear were all expensive looking pieces with lots of lace and frills attached. He would get a meal cut if he happened to damage one, so he had to wash them gently. It was painful work. Tired of it all, he left one particular pair with a slightly torn elastic band in the pile one day. Merely a few days later, Louise walked out obliviously wearing that particular pair, when the elastic snapped entirely. Her panties slid down to her ankles, entangling both of Louise's legs like a trapper's snare.  


It just so happened that she was at the top of a staircase, so she tumbled spectacularly down them.

Most fortunately, there wasn't anyone else around to see her roll down the stairs with her lower half shamefully exposed, so at least her reputation was spared. Realizing that it had been overkill, Saito was careful not to peek inside her skirt as he apologized profusely to Louise, who lay unconscious at the staircase landing. He hadn't meant for the joke to derail like this. Ideally, he had envisioned it happening in a hallway for optimum embarrassment.

Once Louise regained consciousness and realized what had happened, she thrust the torn pair of panties accusingly at Saito, who was sitting subserviently by the bedside.

"There was a torn pair."

"Indeed there was, Mistress."

Louise's voice quavered with fury.

"Explain yourself."

"It must have been the fountain water, Mistress. Why, it's so cold it could freeze fingers right off. I believe the elastic couldn't endure that."

Saito replied curtly.


"So you're saying it's the elastic's fault?"

"I'm saying it's the water's fault. It was bad water. I'm convinced that there must be some kind of curse on it to make it cold and also affect the elastic somehow."

"In that case, I should not feed such a loyal familiar soup made from that kind of bad water."

"Most gracious of you."

"Three days should do, I think, for the water to return to normal."

Saito had his meals cut for three days.

<center>* * *</center>

However, Saito remained completely fine for those three days. He'd just pretend to be withering and visit the kitchen behind the Hall of Alviss, where the energetic and lovely Siesta would serve him food like stew, and meat on the bone. He went there even when his meals weren't cut. The soup that Louise declared "The Widespread Blessing of Her Majesty, the Queen" was never enough of a blessing to fill him up.

Naturally, he kept his visits to the kitchen a secret from Louise. She was adamant about not giving him more until he had corrected his behavior, so there would be trouble if she found out about the meat and stew Siesta kindly provided him with. Louise would surely forbid him visiting for the sake of "educating" her familiar.


Currently though, she was totally unaware. In any case, Saito preferred Siesta and the kitchen a hundred times more than some Lady Queen and Founder Brimir he'd never met.

<center>* * *</center>

One morning, after hungrily drinking down his soup in front of Louise, he went to the kitchen. Saito, having beaten the noble Guiche at the Vestri Courts, was hugely popular there.

"'Our Sword' is here!"

The one who called out was Marteau, the head chef, a well-rounded man well into his forties.  Naturally, he was also a commoner himself, but with his position of head chef at the Academy, he earned as much as a lower class noble, a fact he could be proud of.

Dressed in simple but fine clothes, he commanded the kitchen with a wave and a flourish of his hand.

Despite his highly respectable position as head chef of a magic academy for nobles, Marteau wasn't the least bit arrogant, and surprisingly enough, disliked both magic and nobles.

He called Saito, who had used a sword to defeat Guiche, by the nickname "Our Sword" and treated the boy like a king. Thanks to him, the kitchen was an oasis to Saito.

Saito sat down at his chair, and with a smile, Siesta promptly brought him a bowl of warm stew and soft white bread.

"Thanks."


"Today's stew is extra special,"

Siesta declared, looking particularly happy. Saito curiously lifted a spoonful to his mouth and his face instantly lit up.

"Wow, this is delicious! It's worlds apart from that gruel I get!"

At this, Marteau approached the table holding a kitchen knife in one hand.


"Well of course. That stew's the same stuff we serve to the noble kids." 

"I can't believe this is the kind of stuff they get to eat everyday..."

Marteau snorted loudly at Saito's comment.

"Hmph! Sure, they can use magic. Making pots and pans and castles from dirt, conjuring up unbelievable gems, even controlling dragons - so what! But see, creating such exquisite dishes like this is a kind of magic itself. Wouldn't you agree, Saito?"

Saito nodded.

"Absolutely."

"A fine fellow! You're a good man!"

He put an arm around Saito's shoulders.

"Here, "Our Sword"! Let me place a kiss upon your forehead! Come on! I insist!"

"I'd rather you not. And stop calling me that," Saito said. 


"Why not?"

"It's just... weird."

The man let go of Saito and spread his arms out in protest.

"But you cut a mage's golem to pieces! Don't you get it?"

"I suppose."

"Say, just where did you learn to use a sword? Tell me where I can go to learn how to swing a sword like that."

Marteau stared earnestly at Saito. He asked the same thing every time Saito came to eat, and Saito's answer was the same every time.

"I don't know. I've never held a sword before. My body just moved by itself."

"You guys! Did you hear that?!"

He yelled, his voice echoing around the kitchen.

The younger cooks and the apprentices shouted back.

"We hear you, boss!"

"This is what they call a true master! They never boast about their skill! Look and learn! A true master never boasts!"


The cooks chanted happily.

"A true master never boasts!"

Then Marteau turned back around to face Saito.

"You know, "Our Sword," I'm starting to like you more and more. So how about it?"

"Um, how about what...?"

He was simply telling the truth, but Marteau always thought he was just being modest. It was somewhat frustrating. He felt like he was deceiving the good-natured man. Saito's gaze dropped down to the runes on his left hand.


''Since that day, it hasn't glowed anymore. Just what was that, I wonder...'' Even when Saito tried to make a point of staring at his own runes, Marteau interpreted that as him being reserved.

The chef turned to Siesta.

"Siesta!"

"Yes?"

Siesta, who had been cheerfully watching the two of them get along, responded brightly.

"Bring our hero here some of Albion's finest."

Her smile widened, and retrieving a wine bottle of the requested vintage from the rack, she poured some into Saito's glass. Siesta looked on absorbedly as Saito's face grew redder and redder from the wine. These events repeated almost routinely:



Saito visited the kitchen, Marteau became more attached to Saito, and Siesta's respect for him deepened even further.

<center>* * *</center>

Although that particular day... there was a crimson shadow  spying on Saito from a window of the kitchen. One of the young cooks took notice of it.

"Hey, there's something outside the window."

The shadow gave a garbled 'kyuru kyuru' and slinked away.

<center>* * *</center>

Then, after breakfast, cleaning, and laundry, he accompanied Louise to class. Originally, he was made to sit on the floor, but after Louise realized he had become rather transfixed with peering up other girls' skirts, she reluctantly let him sit on a chair. And she made it clear to Saito that should his vision ever stray too far from the blackboard, he would be denied lunch.


In the beginning, the lessons fascinated Saito with their marvels: turning water into wine, combining various reagents to brew special potions, materializing fireballs out of nothing, levitating boxes and sticks and balls out of the class windows for their familiars to fetch, etc... but after a while, the novelty wore off.



And so he took to napping instead. The professor and Louise would give Saito evil looks every once in a while, but there were no rules forbidding familiars from sleeping during lessons. And just looking around the class, all the nocturnal familiars were snoozing away, even someone's owl. In fact, if they were to wake Saito up, it would mean that they were acknowledging him as a human. Louise chewed her lips from the overwhelming desire to give the sleeping Saito a piece of her mind, but she couldn't because doing so would mean contradicting herself about him being nothing more than a familiar.


<center>* * *</center>

That same day, bathed in sunlight, Saito was fast asleep during another lesson.

The wine he drank that morning was taking effect, and Saito dreamed.

It was quite an unbelievable dream.

A dream in which Louise crept into his hay pile at night as he was sleeping.


''"What's wrong, Louise...?"''

At hearing her name being called, Louise shot a glare at Saito.

''"You can't sleep? Oh, all right... can't be helped. Munya~"'' 

''Oh, he's just muttering in his sleep,''

she thought, and faced the front again.


''"...Munya. H-hey, don't hug me all of a sudden."''

Louise's gaze snapped to Saito once more. The other students were starting to take notice of the situation, and perked their ears to listen.

''"...Jeez, for the slave driver you are during the day, you're such a sweet little thing in bed."''

A trickle of drool ran down from the corner of Saito's mouth as he continued to enjoy his dream.

Louise grabbed his shoulders and shook him vigorously.

"Hey! Just what kind of dream are you having?!"

Her classmates burst out laughing. Malicorne the Windward made a passing comment.

"Oi oi, Louise! Is that the kind of thing you do with your familiar at night? I'm surprised!"

The female students whispered something amongst themselves.

"Wait! This is just some stupid sleep-talk! Ah, jeez! Wake up already!"

''"Louise, Louise, you're like a kitten; stop licking me there like that..."''


At this, the laughter threatened to burst through the ceiling.

Louise kicked Saito off the chair, violently returning him to reality from his soft and gentle dreamscape.

"Wh-what was that for?!"

"Since when have I ever snuck into your hay pile?!"


[[Image:znt01-p133.jpg|thumb|''"Louise, Louise, you're like a kitten; stop licking me there like that..."'']]


Louise crossed her arms and looked down imposingly on Saito.

Saito shook his head profusely, only further amusing the class.

"Saito, explain to these rather rude people that I never take one step out of my own bed during the night."

"That's right, everyone. I was simply dreaming out loud just now. Louise would never do such a thing."

The students turned away disappointedly.

"Isn't it obvious? Like I would ever do something like that! With this thing, no less! This thing! To even think that I would curl up in bed with this lower life form is far beyond being a joke!"

Louise huffed haughtily, averting her gaze upwards.

"But, my dreams often come true."

Saito piped up.

"Indeed! Dreams do have the power to foretell the future, after all!" Someone in the room supplied in agreement.

"My master here, with her personality, probably won't ever find herself a lover."

A vast majority of the students nodded. Louise shot Saito another evil look, but it was too late. Saito was on a roll.


"My poor master gets quite "frustrated" as a result, and instead resorts to slipping into this familiar's humble hay pile."

Louise put her hands on her hips and strongly reprimanded Saito.

"Enough! Close that unclean mouth of yours right now!"




That didn't stop Saito from continuing either.

"When she does, I have to fend her off a bit..."

By this point, he was too far gone. Louise's shoulders began to tremble angrily.

"And tell her, 'this isn't where you sleep.'"

The class applauded. Saito mimicked an elegant bow and went to sit back down.

Louise kicked him away, sending him rolling across the floor.

"Don't kick me!"

But Louise was beyond the point of reasoning. Her gaze was fixed firmly forward, and as always, her shoulders shook with barely contained fury,

Once again, there was a crimson shadow watching Saito.

It was Kirche's salamander. With its belly to the floor, it stared at Saito through the gap in the row of chairs.

"Hm?"


Noticing it, Saito waved his hand at it.

"You're Kirche's salamander, aren't you? I know you have a name. What was it... Oh yeah, it's Flame. Flame-"

Saito motioned for it to come closer, but the salamander flicked its tail around and spat out a few embers before running back to its master.

"Why would a lizard be so interested in me?"

Saito tilted his head in puzzlement.

<center>* * *</center>

And while Saito was having a staring contest with a salamander during class...

At the Headmaster's Office, Miss Longueville the secretary was busily writing away at something.

She stopped writing for a moment and glanced over at the sequoia desk at which Sir Osmond was busy taking a nap.

The corner of Miss Longueville's lips rose in a faint smirk, an expression she had never shown anyone before.

She stood up from her desk.

In a low voice, she murmured the incantation for a Spell of Tranquility. Dampening her footsteps so as not to wake Osmond, she crept out of the office.


Her destination was the treasury, located on the floor directly below the Headmaster's Office.

Stepping off the stairs, she confronted enormous iron doors. They were kept shut with a thick bolt mechanism, which in turn was secured with an equally large padlock.

This place was where artifacts dating even before the Academy's establishment were contained. After cautiously surveying her surroundings, Miss Longueville withdrew her wand from a pocket. It was about the length of a pencil, but with a flick of the wrist, it extended to the length of an conductor's baton, which she whirled expertly.

Miss Longueville cast another spell.

Once the invocation was complete, she pointed the baton at the padlock.

However... nothing happened.

"Well, it's not like I really expected an Spell of Unbinding to work anyway."

Smiling deviously, she began reciting the words to one of her specialty spells.

It was a Transmutation spell. Chanting loud and clear, she waved her baton at the heavy lock. The magic cascaded over it... but even after a considerable wait, there was no visible change.

"Looks like it's been magically reinforced by a Square-class mage," she muttered.


A Spell of Reinforcement was one that prevented the oxidation and decomposition of matter. Any substance that had this spell cast on it was protected from any chemical reactions, and allowed it to be preserved forever in that state. Even transmutation magic would have no effect against something protected like this. Only if one's magical skill surpassed that of the mage who cast the spell could it be overcome.


As it was, the mage who had enchanted this door was apparently an extremely powerful mage, considering that not even Miss Longueville, an expert in Earth magic and transmutation in particular, was able to affect the door.

Taking off her glasses, she stared at the door once more. At this point, she heard footsteps coming up the staircase.

She shrunk down her baton and slipped it back into her pocket.

The person who appeared was Colbert.

"Greetings, Miss Longueville. What are you doing here?"

"Mister Colbert, I was going to catalog the contents of the treasury, but..."

"Oh, that's quite some work. It'd probably take you all day to go over each and every item. There's a lot of junk mixed together with them, and it's a rather cramped space they've been arranged in too."

"Indeed."

"Why don't you just borrow the key from Old Osmond?"

The woman smiled.


"Well... I didn't want to disturb his sleep. In any case, I'm in no immediate hurry to complete the catalog..."

"I see. Sleep, you say. That old man, I mean, Old Osmond, is quite a deep sleeper. It seems I shall have to visit him another time."

Mister Colbert began to walk off, but paused in his tracks, and turned around.


"Err... Miss Longueville?"

"Is something the matter?"

Colbert looked slightly embarrassed as he opened his mouth to speak.

"If it would be all right, how would you like to, say... join me for lunch?"

She took a moment to consider, then smiled brightly as she accepted the offer.

"Sure, it would be my pleasure."

The two of them headed down the stairs.

"Hey, Mister Colbert."

In slightly informal tones, Miss Longueville struck up conversation again.

"Y-yes? What is it?"

Emboldened by how easily his invitation had been taken up, Colbert responded quite eagerly to her.

"Is anything important actually inside the treasury?"


"There is."

"Then, do you know of the 'Staff of Destruction'?"

"Ah, that is quite a curiously shaped item, indeed."

Her eyes glinted.

"What... kind of shape?"

"It's extremely difficult to describe, except as simply strange, yes. But never mind that, what would you like to eat? Today's menu is flounder baked in herbs... but I'm quite well-acquainted with Marteau the head chef, and I can have him make any of the world's finest delica--"

"Ahem."


Miss Longueville interrupted Colbert's babbling.

"Y-yes?"

"I must say, the treasury is quite amazingly built. No matter what kind of magic is tried, it would be impossible to open, I assume?"

"That's quite right. It's impossible for just any one mage. After all, it was devised by a group of Square-class mages to resist all spells."


"I'm very impressed that you're so knowledgeable about this, Mister Colbert."

She regarded him with a comfortable expression.


"Eh? Well... Haha, I just happened to come across a lot of documents pertaining to this floor, that's all... I like to consider it a part of my research, haha. Thanks to that, I'm still single at this age... yes."

"I'm sure the woman that you find will be very happy to be with you. After all, you can teach her so much about things that nobody else knows..."

Miss Longueville fixed him with a fascinated look.

"Oh, no! Please don't tease me like that!"

Colbert flustered nervously as he wiped sweat from his balding forehead. Then, regaining composure, he faced her seriously.

"Miss Longueville. Have you heard of the Ball of [[#frigg|Frigg]] that is being held on the day of Yule?" 

"No, I haven't."

"Haha, I guess it's because you've only been in Tristain for two months. Well, it's nothing spectacular, just a party of sorts. However, it's said that a couple who dances at this ball will be destined to be together or something like that. It's just a petty legend of course! Yes!"

"So?"

Smiling, she pressed him to continue.

"So... if it would be all right, I was wondering if you would dance with me, yes."

"I would love to. While ball parties are fabulous, I'd like to know more about the treasury right now. I'm quite fascinated by magical items, you see."


Wanting to further impress Miss Longueville, Colbert racked his brains. ''Treasury, treasury, she says...''

Remembering something she might find interesting, he put on an important air and started to talk.

"Ah yes, there's one thing I can tell you. Although it's not particularly important..."

"By all means, do tell."

"Certainly, the treasury is invincible against magical attacks, but I believe it has one fatal weakness."

"Oh, that's intriguing."

"That weakness is... physical force."

"Physical force?"

"Yes! For example, well, not that this is ever likely, but a giant golem could--"

"A giant golem?"

Colbert stated his opinion quite proudly to Miss Longueville. And once he was done talking, she couldn't help but smile in satisfaction.

"That was most intriguing indeed, Mister Colbert."

== Translator's Notes ==
;[[#back_to_frigg|↑]] Frigg
:In Norse mythology, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frigg Frigg] (Eddas) or Frigga (Gesta Danorum) was said to be "foremost among the goddesses," the wife of Odin, queen of the Æsir, and goddess of the sky.
----

Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story1 Chapter1

2007-06-12T16:24:50Z

168.212.234.49: Changed "Chapter 1" to "Chapter One" for continuity (Very minor)

=== Chapter One - I'm a Familiar ===


"Who are you?" asked the girl intently examining Saito's face, with the clear blue sky behind her.
She seemed to be close to Saito's age. Underneath a black cloak, she wore a white blouse and a gray pleated skirt. She knelt down and looked at his face with shock.

''Her face is... Cute.'' Her reddish-brown eyes danced upon the stage of her flawless, white skin and strawberry blonde hair.
''She looks kind of like a foreigner.'' In fact, the girl ''must'' have been a foreigner. A cute, doll-like, foreigner. ''Maybe she’s half-Japanese?''

''But still, that's some kind of school uniform she's wearing, isn’t it? I don't recognize it.''

During this time, Saito had been lying on the ground, face up, though he was unsure of how he had gotten there. He raised his head to take a look around.
Many people in black cloaks were looking upon him with curiosity.
There, in the distance, on an endlessly rich grassy plain, he saw a huge castle with stone walls, just like the ones in those European tour photographs.

''It's just like a fantasy.''


''My head hurts,'' Giving his head a shake, he said, "Who am I...? I'm Hiraga Saito."

"Where are you from, Commoner?"

''Commoner? What does she mean by that?'' Everyone around him had some sort of stick in their hand and wore the same uniform as that girl's.
''Did I wander into an American school or something?''

"Louise, what are you trying to do, calling a commoner with your 'Summon Servant'?"
someone asked, and everyone but the girl who was looking at his face started to laugh.

"I... I just made a little mistake!"

A girl in front of Saito shouted in a refined voice that carried like a bell.
"What mistake are you talking about? That's your usual."

"Of course! After all, she's Louise the Zero!" someone else said, and the crowd of people burst into laughter.

It appeared the girl looking into Saito's face was named Louise.

''Either way, this is no American school. You won't see those kinds of buildings just anywhere.''

''Could it be a movie set? Are they filming something?'' But then Saito thought all of a sudden,
''But it's too big to be a movie set. Could this kind of scenery exist in Japan?''

''Maybe it's a new theme park? But then, why was I sleeping in such a place?''

"Mr. Colbert!"
the girl called Louise shouted. The crowd parted, revealing a middle-aged man.
Saito thought it was funny, because the man looked ridiculous.
He carried a big wooden staff and was covered in a black robe.

''What kind of a look is that? He's dressed like a wizard. Is he sane?''
''I've got it, this must be a cosplay gathering.''
''But it doesn't seem to have that kind of atmosphere.''
Suddenly, Saito was gripped with fear. ''What am I going to do if this is a religious group? It's possible.''
''They could have put me to sleep somehow and brought me here while I was taking a walk in town.''
''That mirror must have been a trap. If not, I have no other explanation for this.''
Saito thought to himself that he ought to stay quiet until he understood what was going on.

The girl named Louise was in a panic, talking on and on, saying things like "Let me try again," and "I beg of you," while frantically waving her arms about.
''I feel sorry for her, being stuck in this weird religious group, since she's so cute.''

"What is it, Miss Vallière?"

"Please! Let me try the summoning one more time!"


''Summoning?''
''What's that? They mentioned it earlier.''

Mr. Colbert, the man wearing the black robe, shook his head.
"I cannot allow that, Miss Vallière."

"Why not?"

"It is the rule. When you are promoted to a second year student, you must summon a familiar.
Which is what you just did."

''A familiar?''
''What's that?''

"Your elemental specialty is decided by the familiar that you
summon. This enables you to advance to the appropriate courses specialized to that element.

You cannot change the familiar once you have summoned it, because the Springtime Familiar Summoning is a sacred rite.
Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to take him as your familiar."

"But... I've never heard of having a commoner as a familiar!"
Everyone around laughed as Louise said that. She scowled at them,
but the laughter didn't stop.

'''Springtime Familiar Summoning'?''
''What's that?''


''I don't understand. What are they talking about?''
''How did I end up in a place like this.... It has to be one of those [[#new_religions|New Religions]].''
''The safest thing to do is to take the first opportunity to run away.''
''I mean really, where is this place?''
''Was I taken to a foreign country?''
''A kidnapping! I've been kidnapped!''
''I'm in real trouble,'' thought Saito.

"This is a tradition, Miss Vallière. I cannot allow any exceptions; he ..."
The middle-aged wizard cosplayer pointed at Saito.
"...may be a commoner, but as long as he was summoned by you,
he must be your familiar. Never in history has a human been summoned as a familiar,
but the Springtime Familiar Summoning takes precedence over every rule.
Therefore, he must become your familiar."

"You have got to be joking..."
Louise drooped her shoulders in disappointment.

"Well then, continue with the ceremony."

"What? With him?"

"Yes, with him. Hurry. The next class will begin any minute.
How long do you think you are going to take for the summoning?
After mistake upon mistake, you have finally managed to summon him.
Hurry and form a contract."

Everyone voiced their agreement and began jeering.

Louise stared at Saito's face as if troubled.

''What is it? What's she going to do to me?''

"Hey,"
Louise addressed Saito.

"Yes?"

"You should be appreciative. Normally you'd go your whole life without something like this being carried out by a noble."

''Noble? How stupid. What nobles?''
''Aren't you just a bunch of twisted cosplaying new-religion freaks?''

Louise closed her eyes with an air of resignation.
She waved around the wooden stick in her hand.

"My name is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers,
bless this humble being and make him my familiar."
She began to chant these words over and over, like a magic spell.

She touched Saito's forehead with the stick.
Her lips then slowly drew closer.

''What... What are you doing?!''


"Just stay still."
Louise said, a touch of anger in her voice.
Her face got closer.

"Hey, wait. Well, I'm... Well, I'm not ready for this..."

His face shook a little as he panicked.

"Ah, geez! I told you to stay still!"
Louise roughly grabbed Saito's face with her left hand.

"Huh?"

"Mmm..."

Louise's lips touched Saito's.

''What?! What is this! This is what that contract means?!''
The touch of her soft lips confused Saito more.
''My first kiss! But it was stolen in this weird place by this weird girl whose motives I don't understand!''
Saito lay there, paralyzed.

Louise removed her lips.
"It is done."


<center>[[Image:ZNT-page-019.jpg|thumb|KISU!]]</center>



''Her face is red. Is she embarrassed by her boldness? What an idiot,'' Saito thought.

"I should be the embarrassed one, not you! You kissed me all of a sudden!"

But Louise was completely ignoring Saito.

''You kissed me and this is how you act? How rude.''
''Really, who are they?! I'm scared. I want to go home right this minute. I just want to go home and get online,'' Saito thought.
He had just registered with a dating site, so he wanted to check his e-mail.

"You failed on 'Summon Servant' many times, but you have managed to succeed with 'Contract Servant' in one try,"
Colbert said happily.

"She was able to make a servant contract, because he was just a commoner."

"If he was a powerful magical beast, she wouldn't have been able to make a contract,"
A few students laughed while making those comments.

Louise scowled at them.
"Don't make fun of me! Even I do things right once in a while!"

"Truly 'once in a while,' Louise the Zero,"
laughed a girl with gorgeous curly hair and freckles on her face.

"Mr. Colbert! Montmorency the Flood just insulted me!"


"Who are you calling 'the Flood?' I'm Montmorency the Perfume!"

"I heard that you used to wet the bed like a flood, didn't you? 'The Flood' suits you better!"

"How dare you, Louise the Zero! What can I say? You are a zero!"

"Watch it! Nobles ought to show each other the proper respect,"
the middle-aged wizard cosplayer interjected to stop them.

''What are they talking about? A contract? 'Contract Servant'? ''

At that instant, Saito's body started to get hot.

"Aaah!"
Saito stood up.
"It's hot!"

"It will be over soon; just wait. The 'Familiar's Runes' are being inscribed,"
Louise said, irritated.

"Don't inscribe them! What did you do to my body?!"

''There is nothing I can do, but I can't just lie around quietly. It is unbelievably hot!''

"By the way."

"What?"


"Do you think it's forgivable for a commoner to use that kind of language before nobles?"

The hot sensation lasted only for a second.
His body rapidly returned to a normal state.

"That was quick..."

The middle-aged cosplay wizard known as Colbert, came to the kneeling Saito
and checked the back of his left hand.
There, jumping out at him, were unfamiliar letters.

''Are those letters? It looks like a wriggling snake in some strange pattern.''
Saito stared at it and thought, ''if this isn't a trick, then what is it?''

"Hmmm..."

At this point, Saito really lost it.

"These are very unusual Runes,"
said the middle-aged wizard impersonator.

"Who are you people?!"
Saito yelled out, but no one reacted.

"Well, let's go back to class, everyone."

The middle-aged cosplay wizard turned on his heel, then rose gently into the air.
Saito's jaw dropped in shock.


''Did... Did he fly? Is he floating in the air?''
''It can't be!''
The others, who looked like students, also floated up in the air all at once.

''It can't be! More of them? One person could float in the air by some trick, but all of them?''
Saito looked for wires or even a crane, but the surrounding area was just a large grassy plain.
There was nothing to suggest any tricks or setups.

Everyone who was floating flew quietly towards the stone-walled castle in the distance.

"Louise, you'd better walk back!"
"She can't fly. She can't even manage levitation."
"That commoner, he's perfect as your familiar!"
the students said as they flew away.
The only ones left behind were Saito and the girl named Louise.

As soon as it was only the two of them, Louise took a deep breath,
turned toward Saito, and yelled,
"Who are you?!"

That made Saito mad. ''That's my line!'' he thought.

"Who are you? Where is this place?! Who were all those people?! Why can they fly?!

What did you do to my body?!"

"I don't know what backwoods you came from, but I will explain it to you."

"A country? This is the backwoods, isn't it? Tokyo is nothing like this!"

"Tokyo? What is that? What country is it in?"

"Japan."

"What? I've never heard of it."

"Oh please! But why are they flying?! You saw it too! They flew! They all did!"

But Louise took no notice of it at all, as if to say, "What's wrong with flying?"

"Of course they flew. What would we do if mages couldn't fly?"

"Mages? What is this place?!"
Saito grabbed Louise's shoulders and yelled.

"This is Tristain! And this is the renowned Tristain Academy of Magic!"

"Academy of Magic?"

"I'm a second year student, Louise de la Vallière. I am your master from now on. Remember that!"


All of Saito's strength disappeared.
He was getting a really bad feeling about the situation.
"Uh... Miss Louise..."

"What?"

"Did you really summon me here?"

"That's what I've been telling you, over and over again, until I'm hoarse. Just give up. I'm giving up too.
Why does my familiar have to be a creature that isn't cool at all...
I wanted to have something cool, like a dragon, or a griffin, or a manticore.
At least an eagle or an owl."

"A dragon or griffin? What do you mean?"

"I was just saying that I wish had one of those as my familiar."

"Do they really exist?"

"They do. Why?"

"You've gotta be kidding me,"
Saito said, laughing. But Louise wasn't laughing.

"Well, you've probably never seen them before,"
Louise said, with pity in her voice.
She didn't look like she was joking.


The mages who flew away and the fantasy words suddenly connected.

He felt a chill run down his spine, and broke out in a cold sweat.
"I thought maybe... Since they flew, are you people really witches and wizards?"

"Yes, we are! If you understand that, let go of my shoulders!
You shouldn't even be talking to me!"

''A dream... This has to be a dream...''
Slowly, his strength left him, and Saito fell to his knees.

"Louise,"
he said with a weak voice.

"Don't call me directly by name."

"Hit me."

"What?"

"Hit me in the head as hard as you can."

"Why?"

"I want to wake up from this dream now. I'll wake up from this dream and get online.
Tonight's dinner is [[#hamburger|hamburger steak]]. My mom said so this morning."

"Get online?"


"No, it's nothing. After all, you're just a part of my dream, so you don't need to worry about it. Now just let me wake up from this dream already."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you want me to hit you, right?"
Louise clenched her hands into fists.

"Yes, please."

Her fists began to tremble.
Louise's expression became unreadable, but it seemed a lot of thoughts were going through her head.
"Aren't you concerned at all about being summoned?"

"How should I know?"

"How could I, the third daughter of the Vallière family... I, a noble who takes pride in her proper pedigree and ancient lineage, end up having to make someone like you my familiar?"

"How should I know?"

"...And just who decided that the contract had be sealed by a kiss?"

"How should I know? Look, will you just get it over and done with? I hate nightmares."

"Nightmare? That's my line!"
Louise clobbered Saito in the head with all her strength.
"That was my first kiss!"

Perhaps she was a bit too forceful... ''Mine too,'' though Saito, as he lost consciousness.




<center>* * *</center>

Hiraga Saito. Seventeen years old and in the second year of high school.

Athletic ability: normal. Grades: average. Duration without a girlfriend: seventeen years. Overall, no positives or negatives.

Teacher's evaluation: "Ah, Hiraga-kun. He refuses to give up, and he has a strong sense of curiosity, but he's a little slow."

Parents' evaluation: "You should study more. You're a little slow."

Being slow, he is rarely bothered by accidents, and accepts pretty much anything, relative to most people. Earlier, when he saw people flying, he made a commotion, but given that an ordinary person would have been so shocked as to be brought to their knees, he owed much to his disposition.


To put it badly, he just doesn't think too deeply about things before acting.

Also, he has a fiercely competitive spirit. In that sense, he might be quite similar to Louise in personality.

Anyway, a mere thirty minutes ago, Saito had been walking down a street in Tokyo, Japan—on Earth.

He was on his way home after having his notebook computer repaired. He was quite happy in fact, since he could go on the internet once more. He'd recently registered at an online dating site, and he might even have found himself a girlfriend.


Though what he really wanted was something to spice up his otherwise monotonous daily life.
However, instead of discovering it on the internet, he found it in the middle of the street.

He'd been walking past the train station on his way home, when suddenly a shining mirror-like object appeared in front of him.
Saito stopped to take a good long look at it. Remember, his curiosity is about double that of a normal person.

It was a large ellipse, about two meters high and one meter wide, with no substantial thickness.
Then he noticed it was actually floating a little above the ground.

This piqued his interest. ''What kind of natural phenomenon is this,'' he wondered, as he scrutinized the sparkling mirror-like object.

''I have no idea. I've never seen or heard of any kind of phenomenon like this.'' He considered sidestepping around it, but his curiosity got the better of him.
He wanted to see if he could walk through it.

''No, maybe I shouldn't,'' he told himself. ''But it's just a couple of steps,'' he reasoned. What a hopeless personality.

But first, he picked up a pebble and threw it in experimentally.
The pebble disappeared into the middle of the mirror-like object.

''Oho,'' he thought. When he checked the other side of the mirror-like object, the pebble was nowhere to be seen.
Next he pulled his house key out of his pocket. He poked the mirror-like object with the tip of the key.


Nothing happened.

Withdrawing the key, he examined it, but nothing about it had changed. Saito judged that there wouldn't be any immediate danger if he walked through. Which only tempted him further to do it.

In the end, even though he knew he shouldn't, he stepped forward. It was much like opening up a manga just after deciding you were going to do nothing but study from now on.

He immediately regretted it, as an intense shock assailed his senses. He suddenly remembered back to when he was a child, when his mother had bought him a strange machine that supposedly made a person smarter by running an electric current through their body. It felt a lot like that.

Saito fainted. When he opened his eyes...

He was in a fantasy world.

<center>* * *</center>

"Is that true?"
asked Louise, looking at Saito with an expression of disbelief. In her hand, she held bread from tonight's dinner.

They were in Louise's room. It looked about [[#12_jou|12 tatami mats]] in size. If you treated the window as south, the bed was situated on the west side, the door to the north, and a big wardrobe stood to the east. All the furniture looked like valuable antiques.

Louise had brought Saito here once he had regained consciousness.

Saito, trying to ignore the pain in his head which still hurt from the blow earlier, answered her,
"So what if it isn't?"

Saito had never felt the slightest bit resentful of his own curiosity until today.

''I never should've walked through that stupid thing...''

''This isn't Japan. It isn't even Earth.''

If there were a nation with wizards who flew through the sky, even only a few, he certainly hadn't learned about it in middle school geography.
And even if there were, what about those huge moons floating in the sky? They were easily twice the size of Earth's.
Their huge size was not the issue; it was entirely possible that in some countries there were nights like that.
However, that there were two of them was strange. Had the moon multiplied into two without Saito noticing?

No. That couldn't be. In other words, this was definitely not Earth.

It was dark now... Night had already fallen. ''I guess my family is worrying about me right now,'' he finished sadly.

From the window, he could see the grassy plains where he'd been lying. Across the plains, illuminated by moonlight, he could also see a tall mountain range. Over to his right was a vast expanse of dense forest. Saito let out a sigh.


''There just aren't any wide evergreen forests like this. It's totally different from what you'd see in Japan.''

The Academy grounds he had passed on his way looked very much like some Middle Ages castle. It had been a breathtaking spectacle that would've amazed him if he'd come here on a trip.

An entrance arch, and a sturdy staircase, both made of stone...
This was Tristain Magic Academy, Louise had explained.
All of the Academy students lived in dormitories on the school grounds.

''Magic Academy? Wonderful! Dormitories? Splendid! It's just like a movie!'' 

''But, this isn't Earth...!''

"I can't believe it."

"Look, neither can I."

"By another world, what do you mean?"

"There aren't any magicians. And there's only one moon."

"There's such a world like that?"

"I'm telling you, it's where I came from!"
Saito shouted.

"Don't yell at me, you commoner."

"Who are you calling a commoner?!"


"Well, you're not a mage, right? So you're a commoner."

"What's with all your talk of 'mages' and 'commoners?'"

"Hey, are you really from this world?"

"As I've been telling you all this time, I'm not."

At that, Louise set her elbows on the table with a troubled look.

On the tabletop was a lamp with an art deco style shade. Its flickering light filled the room with a pale glow. It seemed as if electricity wasn't used.

''Jeez, electricity isn't that complicated to set up, is it? I feel like I'm back in the old foreign settler's hut that our family went to ages ago.''

''Wait, 'setup...'''
''Oh, could it be... This is...''

"I've got it."

"What did you get?"
Louise asked, looking up.

"This is one of those candid camera programs. It's just a trick everyone is pulling on me, isn't it?"

"What's a 'candid camera'?"

"They stopped airing after someone got hurt, but you don't have any material so you're resorting back to the same kind of stuff, huh? So where's the camera?"


"What are you talking about?"

Saito sprung upon Louise.

"Kya--! What are you doing?!"

Knocking over a chair, he bore down on her.

"Where's the mike?! Is it here?"

Grabbing her roughly, he started to unbutton her blouse. However, a swift kick to the groin brought that to a halt... And left him on the floor in pain.

"Gaaaaaaaaaarrrgh..." 

"H-how dare you... To a noble such as me..."
Louise stood up, trembling furiously all over.

Through the intense agony, Saito thought, ''This is no dream.''
''Plus, this isn't Earth. It's an entirely different world.''

"Please..."

"What?!"

"Send me back home..."


"That's impossible."

"But why...?"

"Because, you've been bound by a contract as my familiar. It doesn't matter if you come from the countryside, or even a completely different world as you've said. Once the bond is established, it can't be undone."

"You gotta be kidding..."

"Look, I don't like this either! Why do I have to be stuck with a familiar like you?!"

"Well then, send me back."

"Are you saying you're really from another world?"
asked Louise, seemingly still perplexed.

"Yeah."
Saito nodded.

"Show me some proof."

Wincing at the pain where he'd just been kicked, Saito stood up, and opened his bag.

"What's that?"

"A notebook computer,"
replied Saito.


The surface of the recently repaired notebook gleamed with reflected light.

"I've certainly never seen anything like this. What kind of magic item is it?"

"It's not magic. It's science."

Saito pushed the power button, and the computer whirred to life.

"Uwah! What is that?!"

Louise gave a surprised yelp as the screen flickered on.

"The notebook screen."

"It's pretty... What element of magic does it use? Wind? Water?"

"Science."

Louise stared at Saito with a blank expression. Clearly she didn't get it.
"So, what kind of element is this 'science?' Is it different from the four elemental powers?"

"Argh, enough already! In any case, it's not magic!"
Saito waved his hands around wildly.

Louise sat on the edge of her bed and dangled her feet. Then shrugging, she said with a dispassionate look,
"Hmm. But that's the only thing I don't understand...."

"Why? Is there anything like this in this world too?"


Louise pouted.
"No, but..."

"Then just believe me! There's nothing to understand!"

Clutching her long hair, Louise just shook her head.
"All right! I'll believe you!"

"Really?"

Crossing her arms and cocking her head, Louise gave an irritated growl.
"Only because you would've gone on about it if I didn't say so."

"Well, it doesn't matter, as long as you've got it. Now, send me back."

"I told you, that's impossible."

"But why?!"

Louise's face was etched with discomfort as she answered Saito.
"That's because there's no spell that can connect this world to your world."

"Then how did I end up here?"

"I don't know how!"

Saito and Louise glared at each other.

"Listen, I'm being completely honest when I say there's no such spell. Nobody's even heard of another world."


"There obviously is one, if I'm here!"

"'Summon Servant' is used to call living beings from within Halkeginia. Normally, only animals or magical beasts are summoned. This is actually the first instance that I've seen a person summoned."


"Stop talking about it like you're not involved. In that case, cast that spell on me one more time."

"Why?"

"It might return me to my world."

Looking discernably perplexed, Louise tilted her head to one side.

"...That won't work. 'Summon Servant' is strictly a one-way spell. No incantation of any kind exists to return a summoned familiar back to where it was brought from."

"Whatever, just try it."

"It's impossible. And I can't even cast it now."

"What? Why?"

"...Using 'Summon Servant' again is..."

"Yeah?"

"...Completely ineffective unless the familiar you first summoned has died."

"Say what?"



Saito's body froze.

"Would you like to die?"

"Err... I'll pass."
He hung his head.
His eyes trailed down to the runes that had been inscribed on his left hand.

"Oh, that?"

"Yeah."

"That's like a stamp that says you're my familiar."

Louise stood up and crossed her arms.
If you looked closely, she was actually quite cute. Slender and well-proportioned legs, thin ankles. Not very tall, at around 155cm.
Her eyes were like a curious kitten's, and her eyebrows traced a subtle line over them.

If Saito had met her through the message boards of a dating site, he would've hopped and leaped for joy. But alas, this wasn't Earth. No matter how much he wanted to go back, he couldn't. Saito choked up at this thought, and his shoulders drooped.

"...Yeah, all right. In the meantime, I guess I'll be your familiar."

"Come again?"

"What, you got a problem with that?"


"I see you're still not used to formal speech. It should be, 'Is there something you wish to address, master?'"
corrected Louise, one finger raised as if lecturing. The gesture was cute, but the tone was quite strict.

"But um, what exactly does a familiar do?"
asked Saito. Of course, he had seen ravens and owls appear as familiars in anime involving magicians. But mostly, they would just sit on their master's shoulder and not do anything particularly relevant.

"Firstly, a familiar is able to grant its master an enhancement in vision and hearing."

"Like how?"

"That means what the familiar sees, the master can also see."

"Oh."

"But it seems that doesn't work with you. I can't see anything."

"Yeah, but it's not like that matters,"
Saito said off-handedly.

"And also, a familiar will retrieve items that its master desires. For instance, reagents."

"Reagents?"

"A catalyst you use when casting certain spells. Something like sulphur, or moss..."

"Uh-huh..."


"But you won't ever find me stuff like that, will you? Considering you don't even know what kind of reagents there are."

"Nope."

Louise frowned irritably, but continued talking.
"And this is most important of all... A familiar exists to protect its master! The task of protecting them from any and all enemies is a duty of the highest priority! But that might be a little bit problematic for you..."

"Since I'm human..."

"...A powerful magical beast would almost always defeat its enemies, but I don't think you could even beat a raven."

"Shut up."

"That's why I'm only making you do things I'm fairly sure you can do: laundry, cleaning, and other miscellaneous tasks."

"Don't insult me. I'll be sure to find a way to get back home!"

"Yes, yes. In fact, I'll be glad if you do. Because when you return to your world, I'll be able to summon a new familiar."

"Why you..."

"Right then, all this talking has made me sleepy,"
said Louise with a great yawn.

"Where do I sleep?"


Louise pointed to the floor.

"I'm not some dog or cat, you know."

"But there's nowhere else. And there's only one bed."
She threw him a blanket.

She then brought her hand up to the top button of her blouse.

One by one, the buttons came undone.

Soon she was down to her underwear. Saito blushed.
"Wh-wh-what are you doing?!"

Louise answered as if it was the most obvious thing.
"I'm going to sleep, so I'm getting changed."

"Do it somewhere else where I can't see you!"

"Why?"

"Because! It makes the situation awkward! Seriously!"

"It's not awkward at all."

"Is that because you're a mage? You're okay with doing that in plain sight of a guy?"

"A guy? Who? I don't need to think anything of being watched by my familiar."

''What the heck. That's exactly how you'd treat a dog or cat.'' Saito grabbed the blanket, threw it over his head, and turned away.


First of all, he decided to revoke any and all thoughts he'd previously had about her being cute. She just really got on his nerves. ''A girl like her, a mage? Yeah right.''

"Oh, and these. Wash them for me tomorrow."
Several items came flying over to land softly beside him.
He picked them up, wondering what they were.

A lacy camisole and matching panties. White, too. ''What exquisite and delicate pieces'', Saito thought as his face began to flush. He clenched the items tightly as a mix of indignation and delight welled up.

"Why do I have to-- Your underwear?! Wash them?! Frankly, I'm both flattered and offended!"

He bolted upright, without even realizing he'd done so. Louise was pulling a large nightgown over her head. And in the dim light thrown off by the lamp, he could see the outline of her figure. While he couldn't make out any other details, it didn't seem as though she was embarrassed. It was kind of disappointing. He felt as though his masculinity were being denied.

"Who do you think is going to support you? Who do you think is going to give you food? And just whose room are you in?"

"Uhh..."


"You're my familiar, right? Laundry, cleaning, other menial tasks - they're naturally your jobs."

Saito pulled the blanket over his head again.

''This girl is hopeless,'' he thought. ''She just doesn't see me as a guy at all.''

''I want to go home. I miss my room. I miss my parents.''

The feeling of homesickness was overwhelming.

''...When will I be able to go back?''

''Is there even a way to go back?''

''I wonder if my family is worried about me right now...''

''Anyway, I need to find some way of returning...''

''What should I do? Should I try running away from here? But then what?''

''Maybe I'll try asking someone. But from what Louise told me earlier, nobody even knows another world exists, so there's no way they'll believe me.''

''No, I need to think about this critically. In any case, struggling won't get me anywhere. I don't have any clues, and even if I escaped from here, there's no guarantee that I'll even find a way back.''

''I don't even have relatives in this world. There's nobody I can rely on, except for a conceited girl named Louise.''

''Guess there's no choice. For now, I'll be her familiar. At least she said she'll keep me fed.''

''It'll be tough, since I'm not much more than a familiar to her.''

''Sure, she's a bit arrogant, but at least she's fairly cute. I suppose I can just imagine I made a girlfriend. Someone I happened to meet through the dating site. Treat it as if I came overseas just to see her. Or I came as a foreign student. Actually, that's better. Yeah, that's what I'll think. Hah, I'm so simple like that. It's great.''

''Okay,'' thought Saito. ''It's not like I've been stranded on a deserted island. Moping will achieve nothing.''

''I'll live as a familiar, and in the process, I'll look for a way to return home.''

Now that his plan was set, he felt noticeably sleepy.

No matter the situation, Saito's amazing adaptability had always saved him. Where anyone else would've panicked and crumbled, Saito came through thanks to his fluid personality.

Louise snapped her fingers, and the glow of the lamp died out.

''The lamp is magical too? I guess that means there really is no need for electricity,'' Saito reasoned.

A shroud of darkness descended upon the room.

Outside the window, the two moons shone down mysteriously.

Mrs. Hiraga, your son Saito has arrived in a world where there are wizards. He will not be able to attend school for quite some time, nor will he be able to study. Please forgive him.

And so began Saito's life as a familiar.

----

=== Translator's Notes ===
;[[#back_to_new_religions|↑]] New Religions
:The term "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinshukyo New Religion]" refers to any religious group in Japan that has its roots after the Meiji Restoration of 1868. This includes the Nichiren Buddhist organization [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soka_Gakkai Soka Gakkai], as well as the infamous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum_Shinrikyo Aum Shinrikyo]. The latter probably explains Saito's concern. 
;[[#back_to_hamburger|↑]] Hamburger
:From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamburger#Japan <blockquote>In Japan, hamburgers can be served in a bun, called hambāgā (ハンバーガー), or just the the patties served without a bun, known as hambāgu (ハンバーグ) or "hamburg," short for "hamburg steak."</blockquote> The type mentioned by Saito was the version without the bun. (ハンバーグ) 
;[[#back_to_12_jou|↑]] 12 Tatami mats
:Rooms in Japan are measured jō (畳), which is the number of tatami mats required to cover the floor. A tatami mat is 90 cm by 180 cm for an area of 1.62 m2 each. Twelve jō is slightly more than 19.5 m2 or almost 210 square feet.

----

=== Chapter Credits ===
'''Project Leaders''' 
Onizuka-GTO, Kawool, Se-chan

'''Translators''' 
Yuko, Cala-kun, SaiyaJedi

'''Typesetter''' 
Kawool

'''CG Artist''' 
Chopaface

'''Editors''' 
Onizuka-GTO, The_naming_game, Bicube, BlckKnght, Da~Mike, Meganeshounen,
Nandeyanen,
Andiyar, CrowKenobi, Rednal

'''Special Thanks''' 
Sushi-Y, Andere

----

=== Raw English Translation ===
Coming soon. (really!)