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Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The Second Question

2012-01-14T00:45:31Z

Rm3991:

===The Second Question===


'''Please answer the question below:'''

"Please write the full name of the person who discovered the American continent in AD1492."

 
'''Himeji Mizuki's answer:'''

"Kurisutofaa Koronbusu (Christopher Columbus)."

'''Teacher's comment:'''

"Correct. He is a famous noble person in the story of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_of_Columbus Egg of Columbus]. Even though Columbus is a famous name, surprisingly, his first name was not known to many. This was supposed to be a trick question, but it seems like this does not concern Himeji-san at all. Well done."

 

'''Shimizu Miharu's answer:'''

"Koron Busu (Colum Bus)."

'''Teacher's comment:'''

"Don't understand the meaning of 'full name'? 'Columbus' alone is his family name, and 'Colum Bus' does not make it a full name. Please remember that."

 
'''Shimada Minami's answer:'''

"Busu (Ugly Woman)"

'''Teacher's comment:'''

"What a thing to do to a historical noble person."

----


What is this. This strange atmosphere.

The classroom was filled with an unprecedented silence. It seemed so unreal for the usually noisy F class.

My classmates who had not uttered even a single line of idle talk. The writing sound of Sensei’s chalk on the blackboard reverberated.

“......hn?”

Abruptly, I felt someone’s eyes on me and turned around.

As I did that, there was a person who seemed to have caught my glance and she frantically lowered her face.

--- Minami.

What, what’s that. Could she be looking in my direction all this while? Doesn’t that seem like...... the behavior of a person towards someone she likes......

As I considered that, a ‘don’, ‘don’, throbbing began escalating to a rapid rate.

Uw, uwah...... Somehow, even I'm feeling embarrassed......I can feel my cheeks burning. That kiss, could it be that Minami, towards me......? But, up till now, I’ve only been beaten severely by her; it didn’t seem like an element of lov......

“Now, Sugawa-kun. What chemical is needed to yield 3 mole of ammonia?”


“Pour hydrochloric acid into Yoshii’s eyes.”

“Wrong. Well then, Asakura-kun.”

“Pour hydrochloric acid into Yoshii’s nose.”

“It’s meaningless if you pour it into the wrong place. Well then, Udou-kun.”

“Pour hydrochloric acid into both Yoshii’s eyes and nose.”

""That’s it!""

“That’s not it. And when you’re answering, don’t look in the direction of Yoshii-kun, but look in the direction of Sensei here.”

With that kind of atmosphere that was different from usual, the chime rang to signal the end of the first period.

“Eh.........., that’s all for today.”

Sensei let out a large sigh and left the classroom.

“That damn Yoshii had made eye contact with Shimada......!”

“That damn bastard had the eyes that were aiming for Shimada......!”

“Bastard......! Following Himeji and Kinoshita, if he were to have Shimada as well, then doesn’t that mean that the only hope of this class is no one else but Aki-chan......!”


As the killing gazes shot me in turns, I could see someone making her way to my seat.

''Swing'', ''swing'', like the tail of a horse, approaching me,

"Mi, Minami?"

"Aki. Good, good morning......"

Greeted Minami with her eyes downcast.

"Uhn, good morning."

For some reason, I couldn't look at her as well. There were many times I couldn't look at her straight in the eye when she was seething with anger, but this occasion was a first.

"Erm, you know, Aki. I have two requests, will you hear them......?"

"Request? What is it, I wonder?"

Without looking at each other, our conversation continued.

"Erm, regarding the first one, I would like to use the same [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chabudai chabudai] as you......"

"Huh? Chabudai?"

"Yeah. Last week, because of various things that happened with Miharu, my chabudai has become a little difficult to use."

On hearing that, I took a look at Minami's chabudai, and it appeared pretty roughed up. The tabletop was full of scratches and one of the legs were broken. I didn't think anything could be more difficult to use than that.


"Aki. Is it ok?"

"Erm, yeah. I don't mind."

"I see. Thanks."

She broke into a smile like a flower bursting into bloom,

"Then, I'm sitting down now......"

Minami took a seat beside me.

Right. While I don't really mind......

"............"

"Wh-what's wrong Aki. Why are you keeping quiet?"

"No. Erm, nothing......"

Was that my imagination...... Isn't she a little too close......?

"And, you know, Aki. About my second request...... if you don't mind, shall we...... have lunch together today?"

The second request was an invitation to lunch. Up till now, everything seemed normal and routine, but, today, there was something different.

"Erm, y-yeah, sure. Then, let's go to the place where I drink water......"

Even though I was merely replying, I was abnormally nervous somehow.


"No. Not that, since I've made Aki's portion as well......"

Just as Minami was about to take out something from the bag she was holding,

"Onee-sama! What are you doing!? Why are you sticking so close to that pig-head!?"

A strained voice, which sounded close to a shriek, rang out in the classroom suddenly.

"Mi-Miharu!? Did you come to interfere with me!?"

"Of course! How can I keep quiet after seeing that pig-head stick so close to you!"

The girl who was glowering at me with bitter tears flowing was Shimizu Miharu-san from D-class. As the name implied, she is a girl, though for some strange reason, she likes girls more than guys and is carrying a torch for Minami.

"I-It can't be helped for us to stick close together right!? Since there's no substitute chabudai, and it's a little small, it won't do if we don't stay close together......"

It would be spacious if she had sat opposite me, but, in order to pay attention to the lessons, she would have to sit beside me. To say that it couldn't be helped to sit close together, was something that couldn't be helped.

"Onee-sama. If that's the case, you could have sat beside Himeji-san right! Why would you have to sit beside that pig-head!"

"Th-That's...... Because it's not good for me to become a bother to Mizuki's studies right? And by the same point, at any rate, even if I don't become a bother to Aki's studies, his results will still be bad......"


"Minami. I kind of felt that you were talking bad about me in a subtle way though."

But yet, it felt kind of soothing for some reason. How used was I to such verbal abuse, I wonder.

"Erm, Minami-chan. I don't think of you as a bother, so please come over here. Besides...... there are a few things I'd like to talk to you about......"

Himeji-san, who had heard the exchange, called out to Minami in a timid manner. It seemed like her earlier distraught mode was finally over.

"I'm really happy about that though...... But, Mizuki, since you're kind, you'll probably bear with it even if I prove to be a bother right?"

"N-No. Really, you won't be a bother."

"That's right Onee-sama! Change your seat, and let's eat your handmade [http://www.google.com.sg/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=wiki+bento bento] together! After I caught sight of you yesterday buying ingredients for a handmade bento, I didn't eat anything and came with a totally empty stomach!"

"But, I made this for Aki."

"The fried food seasoned with handmade [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tare_sauce Tare-sauce] that Onee-sama had taken the trouble to wake up at four in the morning to prepare, the hamburger made from extravagant minced meat, and the potato salad made from specially selected local potato produce; just by thinking about that makes me, makes me......!"


"Wait a second Miharu! How did you know all that!?"

"And a heart-shaped pattern on the rice!?"

"Miharu ---!?"

Minami yelled with a totally flushed face. She was probably greatly embarrassed.

"Erm, say, Miharu. Listen to me carefully. Although I've been patient with you till now, I'm requesting you to not go on any further. Because ---."

With a red face, Minami announced it clearly to Shimizu-san.

"--- because I'm going out with Aki."

"[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tatami Tatami] reversal!"

''Shukkakakaka.''

Numerous razors came flying towards me, who had erected a tatami shield in an instant. That was dangerous. If this classroom uses a wooden floor, I would have lost my life.

"""--- tch."""

Flicking tongues could be heard throughout the classroom. Making a count of the razors on the tatami, it seemed like there were more than two per head. Strange. Normally, bringing just one razor to school should be more than enough.

"O-Onee-sama......? You must be joking about that right......?"


Shimizu-san staggered, as if grief-stricken. Minami quietly turned her head to the side and replied.

"I'm not joking. It's true."

"Th-Then, Onee-sama. Was this morning's kiss that Miharu thought was a hallucination real......?"

Minami, appearing to have recalled something, stopped moving for an instant, and then,

"...... yeah."

She nodded slightly.

I see. That was indeed neither a dream nor a hallucination.

"So, Miharu. From now on."

"...... things such as men."

"As much as possible, continue to be friends with me."

"...... it's because of things like men, that Onee-sama......"

Shimizu-san was trembling.

"Miharu, are you listening?"

"It's because of things like men, that Onee-sama has been led astray!"

Immediately after that, she started pouncing forward. And the target of her aim was --- me!?

"I shall exterminate this pig-head! And I shall become the Yoshii Akihisa number two and tie the knot with Onee-sama!"


"Wa-wait a minute, Shimizu-san!? Aren't you getting confused!? I think it's a little difficult to eliminate me and take my place though!?"

Before that, am I going out with Minami!?

"After eliminating you with utmost care in order not to inflict a wound onto your body, I shall carve your skin out and wear them to become Yoshii Akihisa!"

"That's damn gross! And you're actually seriously considering that!"

"It'll be fine! The raccoon dogs from the old stories of Japan did that too!"

"Besides, the original story is surprisingly cute!"

The movements of the attacking Shimizu-san was abnormally fast. Even though I frantically tried to escape, it was a matter of time before I get caught.

There was only one person who could deal with these movements.

"Save me, Muttsuliini! Stop Shimizu-san!"

The ninja of the modern society, Tsuchiya Kouta, a.k.a Muttsuliini, would be able to keep up with such movements. I shall leave this to you, Muttsulini......!

"............ right now, I'm busy using eraser residue to make a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kneaded_eraser kneaded eraser]."


'''(Kneaded Eraser) > (Life of a Friend)'''

My life seems to be a rather cheap thing.

"Damn, I really hate the Muttsulini who's pretending to make a kneaded eraser while taking this chance to peek under the skirt of the bustling Shimizu-san."

"............!! (dang dang)"

While adopting a pose of denial, his eyes didn't flinch away. Isn't his nickname Mr Stylish?

"Men can just disappear from this world! What Onee-sama needs is me!"

"Wait Shimizu-san! Don't you also have a father? Don't say sad things like 'men can disappear from this world'!"

"That man should disappear before any others!"

The thought of a berserker fleeted across my mind.

What should I do now. I can't find a counter argument.

"Er, erm...... did something happen?"


"...... I don't want to remember."

Shimizu-san's body shook as if she just recalled something repulsive. What's that, I wonder. Was she forced into the bath with him, I wonder.

"Anyway, I must erase the pig-head! And I shall marry Onee-sama, and our daughter shall take a character from Onee-sama's 'Minami' and be named 'Mirai'<ref>'''Mirai(美来):''' Literally Beauty-Comes. </ref>!"

"Wait a minute Shimizu-san! What if you give birth to a boy!"

"If it's a boy, then 'Namihei'<ref>'''Namihei(波平):''' Literally Wave-Ordinary. </ref> is more than enough!"

"That's too much!"

"The two of you! Before that, realize that there's no way Miharu and I can have a child duh!"

But even so, the fact that she could still take a character from Minami's name was praiseworthy. As expected of a D-class member, there's no opening at all.

"Now, I'll give you five seconds. Say your prayers to God."

"Ku......!"

Shimizu-san approached slowly. Is this the end......?

''Slide.''

"Alright, class is starting. Today, Endou-sensei is out because of some other matter, so I'll ---? Well well...... Shimizu-san again...... Class is starting so get back to your own classroom."


The door opened at the right timing, and Ironman appeared. He looked at Shimizu-san and sighed.

''Again'', for Ironman to have said that, something must have happened during our suspension last week.

"To-today is different from last week. It's a matter of utmost importance! Nishimura-sensei, please overlook this for once!"

"A matter of utmost importance? What would that be? Don't tell me it's something like last week's ''I want to attend lessons with Onee-sama in the classroom where the obstructions are not around'' huh?"

What a simple-minded fella she is.

"Noo! The matter of utmost importance is about ''eliminating all the men in this classroom'' ---"

"From now onward, you're banned from this classroom."

''Bam''.

Ironman drove Shimizu-san out of the classroom and slammed the door shut.

''"O-Onee-sama! I still have something to say to you! At the very least, sit away from that pig-head and protect your chasti ---"

''Bang Bang Bang'', Shimizu-san knocked on the door loudly.

"Shimizu. Recently, your actions have been too much. ...... do you really want a life counseling session so much?"


Abruptly, the knocking sounds stopped.

Ironman's life counseling. Even me and Yuuji who have been a regular at that hellish session have yet to become used to it. Not to mention for a person who lacks the necessary resistance, there's no place that can be more scary than that.

"Onee-sama......! If you are using the chabudai as a reason for getting close to the pig-head, I won't be just keeping quiet about it...... !"

After peering through the window and glaring at me, Shimizu-san spouted something inappropriate and without further aggression, she put our classroom behind her.

"Now, everyone take your seats. Turn to page 86 of your textbook. Today's lessons ---."

Without any other eventful thing happening, the lesson started. It seemed like Endou-sensei had to go invigilate the exam of another class. Because of that, the fact that Ironman became our relief was the worst possible thing that could have happened.

" --- ''''I wish I were a bird.'''' This is a special use of past tense to express [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive_mood subjunctive mood] ---"

That being said, it was a fact that I was saved thanks to Ironman's arrival. After what he said, I doubt that Shimizu-san will be coming to this classroom anytime soon.

" --- In other words, if we translate it directly to Japanese, it becomes 'I wish I were a bird' --- "

However, I can't imagine that she will just give up on Minami so easily. No, before that, she has misunderstood that Minami and I are going out ---


''Brush''.

"Hya!"

A breath was squeezed out of my lungs as I felt something brush across the back of my neck amid my thoughts.

(Ah, sorry Aki.)

Minami apologized softly as she held down her hair with her hand. So that was Minami's hair huh......

(Er, well, don't worry about it......)

My hand went to the back of my neck which was still feeling ticklish. So this is what it meant when the girls often talk about how undesirably ticklish the neck can get with hair which has been grown to a half-ass length. Indeed, this might be quite unbearable ---

''Brush''.

"Hya!"

It came again. As I turned to look, Minami was looking at me playfully with her hair in one hand.

(Aki, I say, your 'Hya!' sounds weird.)

That was on purpose huh. Ku......! Don't make fun of me!


If she did it on purpose, then there's no way I will take it down lying. I will teach her that she's not the only person sitting at a range where she could carry out her attacks.

Even though I said that, my hair is short so I couldn't do the same to Minami. While it'd be good if I have something that resembles a brush, I wonder what can I use?

I only pondered for a few seconds. Quite readily, I remembered the thing I had placed inside my pencil box previously. I didn't recall clearing it out before, so it should probably be still there......

I rummaged through my pencil box to search for the thing I wanted.

(...... Aki, what are you doing?)

(I'm of course preparing something to take revenge on you. With this, I'd be able to do the same to you ---)

''Brush''.

"Hya!"

This was the third time.

(N-not fair, Minami! It should be my turn to attack this time! Don't interfere!)

(It's only obvious that I'd interfere if you're preparing something like that right!? Isn't it full of ink!)

My hand got pressed down by Minami, and I ended up dropping the calligraphy pen in my hand. My means of attack......!


(Damn! If that's the case, I'd have to use your hair!)

(Wa-wait a minute!?)

I stretched my hand towards the head of Minami, who was holding onto me as well as her hair. The tight space between us meant that she wouldn't be able to resist.

Before long, Minami's tied-up hair was gathered in my hand. Alright. With this, I can strike back with full force, with full force ---

(............)

(...... A-Aki? What's wrong?)

As a result of the sudden stop in my movements, Minami peered at me doubtfully.

(No, erm......)

I said in a faltering tone involuntarily.

Something's strange. This isn't the hair that I know of. The hair I know of, that is my own hair, doesn't feel so nice to touch; it doesn't have such a nice smell; and needless to say, it doesn't make my heart race. In other words, this is something foreign to me I guess. From its appearance, it looks just like normal hair similar to those on top of my head, but, this hair-like thing is not hair. Which means, this is ---


(I see. It's a wig......)

(What the heck are you talking about!?)

In order to not cause an unexpected incident as a result of over-pulling it, I let go of my hand. Even Minami has her own problems huh......

(Heyyy! Don't let go of your hand and leave such an incredible misunderstanding alone! Touch it properly and ascertain it yourself!)

Minami reached to the back of her head and ''whish'', she pulled out something. Following that, her bundled up soft hair spread out in the air. As the flowing hair received the rays of the sun, like elegant silk, they were dazzling like silverware and jewelry.

(This is the well groomed hair that I'm proud of, you know! Don't mess with me by calling it a wig! Touch it and ascertain it yourself!)

Minami handed me a bunch of her hair that had been released from her hair rubberband.

But, I didn't touch it to ascertain it.

(Sorry, Minami. I misunderstood.)

(? That's suspicious. Do you really get it?)

Minami threw me a doubtful gaze. But I really got it. Because,

(Of course. Even if it's me, I won't make a mistake about this............ thing.)

[[Image:BTS_vol_04_049.jpg|thumb]]

(This, what?)

(Th-that is......, this, beautiful......)

(...... huh......?)

That's right. Even if it's me, I'm not so stupid as to mistake such a beautiful thing for an imitation thing. This is a genuinely made article ---

"""We can't take this anymore --- !!"""

At that moment, all of a sudden, an angry roar was heard in the classroom.

As I looked up frantically, I saw my classmates facing me with their razors raised. What in the world!?

"We've been watching you for a while, you dare flirt openly to show off!"

"We'll kill you. Seriously. Most definitely. We'll kill even your soul."

"...... to touch Onee-sama's hair...... even if you are torn to eight pieces, I can't forgive you......!"

"Reinforce the exit! Let's kill him here!


Everyone started going into throwing motion together. That! If my tatami reversal is breached ---

"All hands, after throwing your razors, with lightning speed, strike him with your chabudai! Make sure you guys don't hit Onee-sama in the process!"

"""Roger."""

Damn......! What precise instructions! Stopping my movements with the razor blades and then delivering the finishing blow with an overwhelming number of chabudai. Faced with attacks from every direction, there's nowhere I can run. Bastard, as expected of Shimizu. Just by being in D-class, she has good thinking---

A stinging, uncomfortable feeling.

"Onee-sama! Quickly retreat to here! It's dangerous to stay with that pig-head!"

"Shimizu-san, when did you get there!? And why is everyone listening to Shimizu-san and preparing your chabudai!? You should treasure your classmate!"

"Miharu, you still haven't given up on me? If you keep this on, it will just make things difficult for the both of us though......"


"Onee-sama, you are just deceived by that pig-head! The only person who truly cares about you is me---"

"You all! We're in the middle of a lesson you know!!"

At last, Ironman bellowed at us while we were engaged in our heated arguments.

The classroom fell silent all of a sudden. The bellow of Ironman was extraordinary.

"Shimizu. What happened to your lesson?"

"Th-this is not the time for that......! Onee-sama."

"Shimizu."

Ironman called out her name softly, and with just that alone, Shimizu-san kept quiet.

"This is the second warning. Behave yourself and get back to your own classroom. I'll say this again, but you are banned from coming to this class. Understand?"

"...... understood."

Reluctantly, Shimizu-san left the classroom. During then, as she was leaving, she once again glared at me as if I were an enemy of her parents.


"You guys, don't play around during lesson time. Do that during your breaks."

On hearing that, my classmates put away their razors and put back their chabudai.

With that, thanks to Ironman this time, things had come to a close --- it seemed.

<center>☆</center>

Break time. After having gone through the experience of razors and chabudai hurtling towards me, as I returned from the toilet, the usual three --- Yuuji, Hideyoshi, Muttsuliini, those three --- were sitting at Yuuji's place, facing one another and talking about something. What is it, I wonder.

"What's up with you guys. Making such serious faces."

"Mu, Akihisa huh. You came at the right time."

Hideyoshi made some space for me and I sat down, cross-legged.

"What's up? Is there trouble?"

"............ (nod)."

"Yeah. Thanks to you, trouble seems to be brewing."

Yuuji said with a sigh. I see. Trouble again. This class really can't take a breather with the various bothersome stuff......


"So, what's the trouble you're referring to?"

"............ D-class seems to be preparing for a Summonning Test War."

"Summonning Test War? D-class?"

The Summonning Test War where summoned beasts, whose strength are determined by the test scores, are used in fighting. The outcome of the war will decide the facilities of the classes, making it a matter of grave importance but,

"Even if D-class were to attack B-class, it won't really concern us right? At any rate, our class has yet to regain the right to wage a summoning war anyways."

We've already applied for a Summonning Test War in April and after our loss, as a penalty to F-class, we won't get the right to apply for another war for 3 months. Since we couldn't apply for a war, how the other classes were moving shouldn't be a matter of concern for us.

"Like what you said, if D-class were aiming for B-class, there wouldn't be a problem but......"

Hideyoshi trailed off.

"Eh? It's not that? In that case, are they aiming for A-class?"

By the way, C-class lost to A-class in a Summoning Test War previously, and now has the same type of facilities as D-class. Given that, D-class should not be aiming for C-class.

"Are you an idiot? If there were the case, we won't be feeling troubled right?"

"Then, don't tell me......"

"............ D-class is aiming for this very F-class."


"Eehhhh?"

How can that be! Impossible!

"But, isn't it that we have yet the right to have a Summoning Test War?"

"Yeah. Indeed, F-class does not have the right to apply for a Summoning Test War against another class. However, it doesn't mean that Summoning Test Wars do not concern us at all. Even if we can't initiate a war against another class, we can't afford not to fight back one that is initiated against us."

According to the rules of the Summoning Test War, the losing class is unable to apply for a Summoning Test War for 3 months. This is a rule to prevent the Summoning Test Wars from getting drawn out, but, nowhere was it written in the rule that a class which has lost cannot participate in a Summoning Test War, it seems.

"But, we are the F-class which should have the worst facilities, and there shouldn't be anyone who would come attack us right?"

There is plenty of merit for a lower ranked class in winning against a higher ranked class. Since that means they can swap their facilities. However, even if the higher ranked class win against the lower ranked class, the higher ranked class wouldn't be able to upgrade their facilities so there is no merit for them. Only the lower ranked class which has lost would get their facilities downgraded.

"That's why like I said earlier, it's thanks to you that we got ourselves into such a troublesome situation."

Thanks to me? What did I do?

"Akihisa I say. The opponent is D-class. Isn't there something that would ring a bell in your mind?"


Erm, the opponent is D-class. What comes to my mind would be ---

"...... don't tell me, it's Shimizu-san?"

"............ (nod)"

Muttsuliini gave a small nod.

"You've done it Akihisa. Thanks to you flirting around with Shimada, the heated up Shimizu got the fellas in D-class involved and is planning to take it out on us."

"N-no way! I've never planned for that to......"

"But still, even if you didn't intended that, Shimizu-san would think otherwise."

"Besides, didn't Shimizu say it as well? I'll do something about the chabudai, she said. It seems like in order to separate you and Shimada's seat, she plans to turn our desks back into orange carton boxes."

If we were to lose the Summoning Test War, our desks will turn back to orange carton boxes. If that were to happen, indeed, we won't be able to share the same seat. It seems like that's the true purpose of Shimizu-san.

"B-but, there's no way the whole of D-class would buy this right? I doubt that the class will get involved in a war with such a purpose behind it. Won't the representative of D-class object to this as well?"

The D-class representative is a male student called Hiraga-kun who we've battled out with previously. He owed it to us to be able to retain his class facilities, and he had cooperated with us at the strengthening training camp, acting together for the sake of a single objective. It was quite unthinkable that he would agree to a war for the mere sake of backstabbing us.


"That's where the problem is. Right now, we are the prime perpetrators for the mass peeping incident. A normal girl will not hold any feelings of affection for us. Rather, they might be thinking about meting out punishment with their own hands perhaps."

"You already know this, but the D-class representative is a guy. In his current situation of being treated as a peeping tom, he would have no say in the matter. I doubt he can suppress the girls who are riled up from their anger, and Shimizu, who's riled up from her jealousy."

"N-no way....."

The way things are going, we'll end up going back to using those terrible facilities, the orange carton boxes. No, they are already pretty terrible right now......

"Yuuji, if they attack, are you confident in us winning?"

"Tough. Thanks to the ruckus the fellas in our class caused since morning, we couldn't replenish our points, and our girls numbered merely two. Even if our circumstances were perfect, we wouldn't be able to cross swords without a strategy, but still, if we only have Himeji and Shimada who still have points remaining, unless something extraordinary happens, there is no chance of us winning."

All the male students had exhausted their points during the strengthening training camp and had been suspended after that. If we don't replenish them today, our fighting strength is equivalent to zero, I guess. The girls should have been able to replenish them while we suspended so there is no problem there.


"In short, in our current situation, our only fighting strength are the girls. Our F-class has two girls, while D-class has over twenty of them. Even with Himeji, the difference in fighting strength is clear."

For example, even if Himeji is equivalent to ten people, the difference is about one time more. That's a pretty rough situation.

"In other words, it'd be wise to avoid the Summoning Test War this time. Even if we win, we'll just get D-class's facilities which holds no merit, and it'd be senseless to go through the trouble of making a class which has a debt to us our enemy."

"Eh? Can we avoid it?"

"It depends on you and Shimada though."

After saying that, Yuuji turned his head left and right to look around him.

"Is something wrong, Yuuji?"

"Yeah. I'm checking to see whether Shimada is nearby."

"If you're looking for Minami, she left for someplace together with Himeji-san just now."

When break time started, while I wasn't sure who initiated it, but Himeji-san and Minami left the classroom together. They had a pretty serious look on their face, and probably had something important to talk to each other.


"A scene of carnage I guess."

"A scene of carnage yeah."

"............ a scene of carnage."

"Eh? Are those two fighting?"

Speaking of that, those two were behaving strangely today. I wonder what had happened between them during the week when we weren't around.

"That aside, Akihisa, there's something I need to verify."

"Huh? What is it?"

"Are you going out with Shimada?"

That sentence which came out from Yuuji pierced through me.

That's right. Due to the ruckus since morning, I didn't really think too deeply into it, but, I have to make it clear. According to Minami, we are going out it seems, but I don't remember saying anything of that sorts.

"According to my memory, I think we aren't going out though......"

If we are really going out, then I'm probably the worst for saying that.

"But, Shimada's behavior is clearly that of a person who's dating isn't it?"


"Yeah. That was probably due to a mail which I sent out by mistake ---"

He explained the incident that had taken place at the strengthening training camp to the three of them. He had sent out a mail which appeared to be a confession, but it was actually a misunderstanding.

"I see. Akihisa being Akihisa but...... Yuuji, you really picked a wonderful timing to do that......"

"Really Yuuji. You should gut yourself as an apology."

"Uwu...... Well, it was indeed my fault. Sorry Akihisa."

"............ but, it's not enough for just Akihisa to verify the root cause."

"Yeah. That's right."

Like what Muttsuliini said, the point is even if we knew it's totally Yuuji's responsibility, the mess can't be cleared up just like that. The original cause was not due to anyone else but me. Blaming it on Yuuji is like barking up the wrong tree. Besides, I did get back at him.

"However, if this was a misunderstanding then it makes things easy."

"Eh? About what?"

"About the Summoning Test War with D-class. If we resolve the misunderstanding with Shimada and return the both of you to the previous state of things, then Shimizu will probably stay quiet. If that were to happen, then even if D-class remained dissatisfied with us, without the igniting core behind this Summoning Test War, they will probably let things slide. This means that we can have everything resolved and go back to our daily routine."


After Yuuji, like his usual self, suggested the solution, the door suddenly burst open with someone dashing in.

"Er-erm, Akihisa-kun! I have something to ask you!"

Himeji came to where I was sitting as she was catching her breath.

"Eh? Wh-what is it?"

I was somewhat surprised at the usually gentle Himeji-san, who was having a rare menacing look on her face.

"Er-erm......! Did Akihisa-kun...... confess to Minami-chan......?"

Himeji's voice gradually tapered off as she spoke. However, I could clearly understand what she was trying to say.

"Eh, erm...... about that......"

It was a little difficult to say it out. It seems like I'm doing something bad to Minami.

"Himeji, regarding that, it's probably better to include Shimada. Do you know where she is?"

Yuuji cut into our conversation. Thanks for the help.

"Minami-chan was together with me on the rooftop a while ago though......"

"Alright. In that case, let's all go to the rooftop. This isn't such a good place to talk."

Rooftop huh. It'd be easier to talk there with less people.


"That's right. I'm sorry to make Himeji-san go back up there."

"Ah, no. I don't really mind."

"Well then, let's go."

"Right."

We stood up and headed to the rooftop. While we were moving, Yuuji called out to Muttsuliini.

"Muttsuliini. Will you be able to ascertain whether that fella's eavesdropping devices are present?"

"............ probably, there will be. They were set up in F-class as well."

That fella was probably referring to Shimizu-san.

"What happened to those in the F-class?"

"............ I've already removed them during the lessons."

As expected of Muttsuliini. As usual, he does his job fast.

"I see. That means, Shimizu-san is unaware of our earlier conversation right?"

"............ (nod)."

In that case, we needed another way to let her know that our relationship was a misunderstanding. If there are eavesdropping devices on the rooftop, then Shimizu-san can probably use them to ascertain that --- which also means that what we say will be recorded right. In that case,

"Say, Muttsuliini. If there are eavesdropping devices on the rooftop, can you make them unusable for just a short while?"


It's already bad enough to have caused her to misunderstand, if this were to be recorded, I would have done her too much wrong.

"............ understood."

Just at the time when Muttsuliini agreed, we reached the end of the stairs and could see the door leading to the rooftop.

Subsequently, Yuuji, who was leading, pushed open the door. There, under the bright blue sky on the other side of the door, was the figure of Minami, standing there quietly.

"Ah, Mizuki --- you guys as well? Why are all of you together?"

Minami looked at us in surprise.

"Muttsuliini."

"............ (nod)."

With a piercing look in his eyes, Muttsuliini looked around him and following that, with a small device in one hand, he walked about the area. While I don't know what kind of device that was, it should be something that allows him to search for installed eavesdropping devices and cameras and such.

"............ okay."

Not even a minute had passed before Muttsuliini was done. With that, Shimizu-san would not be able to record our conversation. It seems like I can talk without reservations.

"What's wrong, Aki?"


"Ahh, erm......"

Upon meeting Minami's gaze, I started to falter as an image of my brutally killed corpse surfaced in mind. Since I was about to say to her, ''"The confession mail was a joke"'', something which could be regarded as the lowliest thing that we could do to her. There was no way Minami wouldn't be mad.

"God, I seek your divine protection......"

"? What are you doing, Aki?"

"Uhn. I'm just offering a prayer."

After making a sign of the cross to bless myself, I steeled myself and walked towards Minami in earnest.

"Minami. The truth is, there's something I want to tell you."

"Ah, right. What is it?"

"You know, it's about the mail that I sent during the strengthening training camp......"

"M-mail, you say, that mail?"

For some reason, Minami's face turned red.

"Yeah. About the mail, the truth is."

I could tell that I was starting to sweat from the guilt-arisen fear. It's ok. It's ok. Whatever happens, it shouldn't be at the extent of losing my life. ............ probably.

"The truth is?"


Looking into Minami's eyes as she returned the question, I announced clearly.

"The truth is --- it's a misunderstanding."

"............ eh?"

With her face flushed, Minami stiffened.

"No, rather than to say it's a misunderstanding, it's probably more correct to say that I got the forwarding address wrong."

This may be despicable, but even if it's not like I have any bad intentions, I have to tell that to her. For the sake of my life.

"G-got it wrong, you say, so who was the one......"

Inquired Minami with her body stiffened up.

As to whose address did I mix up with hers, it was the person who I was texting then......

"Sugawa-kun I guess."

""Eehh!?""

For some reason, even Himeji-san exclaimed together with Minami.

"Th-then, Aki's confession was not to me but to Sugawa!?"

"N-no way! Even when others say otherwise, Akihisa-kun, I'd think you like girls, but, as you really guys instead, and to top if off, it's neither Sakamoto-kun nor Kinoshita-kun nor Kubo-kun, but Sugawa-kun......!"


What's this? It's like the misunderstanding just deepened.

"No, it's not like this. If I remembered correctly, a mail like <nowiki>'</nowiki>''Are you really interested in girls? Isn't Sakamoto or Kinoshita more preferable?''<nowiki>'</nowiki> came from Sugawa-kun, and when I replied, I made a mistake in the address and it was sent to Minami."

Speaking of that, did Sugawa's misunderstanding of me continued, I wonder. Jeez, Why am I misunderstood to be a gay? I don't get this at all.

"But, the mail content can't be thought of as any thing other than a confession ---"

Minami took out her cellphone from her pocket and started operating it. She's probably ascertaining the mail I sent.

"Eh? Huh? Somehow, after looking at it now, the mail is a little strange for a confession though......"

"Is that so? Minami-chan, can I take a look at it as well?"

"Y-yeah......"

Minami turned the display towards Himeji-san.

"Erm...... what's this sickle mark attached to the head of the mail?"

"D-don't worry about that! It's just a decoration!"

Sickle mark? Did I make such a mark when I sent the mail?


"Akihisa, do you still remember what you sent?"

"Yeah, but I can't remember the details well though......"

As a result of my cellphone getting broken by Yuuji, I have no records of my mails, and in addition, I don't have a head that can retain the small details of the contents of a mail which I sent more than a week ago.

"What was written in Aki's mail was <nowiki>'</nowiki>''Of course, there's no doubt that I love it right! Much more than someone like Yuuji!''<nowiki>'</nowiki>."

That was some mail, I thought. If it were really a confession, I would want to word it a little more properly.

"Hm. Didn't it occur to you that the mail was a strange one for a confession?"

"I didn't think much about it when I got it though...... But, if I read it again more calmly, it does seem a little strange perhaps......"

"If you have realized it earlier, things wouldn't have come to this."

"Shimada is a returnee<ref>'''Returnee:''' I don't want to make it long so I just used this word used by the dictionary. Returnee = a person who returned to his home country after a long time of residing in a foreign country. </ref>. It can't be helped."

Yuuji and Hideyoshi smiled wryly. Indeed, if the other party was Himeji-san, the misunderstanding would have been resolved at a much earlier stage.

On hearing that, Minami undauntedly argued.

"B-but, anyone would have misunderstood it when he said that he loved it more than Sakamoto!?"


"No way! I'm a straight who likes girls!"

Somehow, I feel that the point of debate is off!

"So good for you, Minami-chan...... I would also like to be told that......"

"Himeji-san, you are weird too!? That sounded like it's a fact that I'm in love with Yuuji right!"

"A-Akihisa...... How should I reply to you......?"

"Just normally duh!"

Right before me, after Yuuji made a jab at me by mimicking Hideyoshi's reaction, ''gahaha'', he laughed in delight. Damn! Damn the lowlife who is getting a kick out of other people's misery!

"Well, anyway, because of that, there was a mistake in that mail."

"I see. I've misunderstood. I also thought that it was a little strange, but now, it's finally clear."

"Ah-haha. Minami, you got careless."

"Jeez. I don't want to be told that by you, Aki, when you got the sending address wrong."

We both laughed cheerfully.

And after we laughed for a short while.

"What are you going to do about it!? That was my first kiss!!"

[[Image:BTS_vol_04_069.jpg|thumb]]

With lots of vigor, Minami grabbed hold of my collars.

"S-S-S-Sorryyy! I didn't have any bad intentions!"

"This isn't something you can brush off with just an apology right!?"

Indeed, it wasn't. Erm, what should I say......?

"You know, Minami."

"What!?"

"Erm --- it was my first time as well, so it's a tie, isn't that enough......?"

"Of course not!"

The shrewd Yuuji jabbed in. That's right huh. Even I thought so.

"Eh......? I-is that so...... In that, case...... erm...... thanks for the treat......?"

"Oiy! Are you fine with that Shimada!?"

Notwithstanding, Minami gave a reply that was out of our expectations.

Speaking of that, there is one thing which I really wanted to know. I shall take this chance to ask.

"Say Minami. I'd like for you to answer this without getting angry though."

"Eh? What?"

"It's regarding the matter of us going out, could it be that, Minami actually...... erm, likes me......?"


"Ah......! Th-that.......!"

Frantically, Minami waved her hand in a flapping manner.

What had bothered me were Minami's actions. Minami's actions resulting from the misunderstanding from the mail was 180 degrees different from what I expected. I would have thought that I would definitely be rejected, but yet, Minami acted in a way that was completely opposite of that.

That's why, I really wanted to know. Perhaps, there was also a possibility that I wasn't really hated by Minami ---

"Ah, that, you see. Miharu was getting really persistent, so I thought she might give up if I have a boyfriend, and then it was just good timing that Aki's confession came along......."

Minami explained while her hands and eyes were fidgeting restlessly.

"Aah, I see. That's how it was huh."

I see, no wonder she did those various things openly without reservation. I had jumped to the wrong conclusion huh.

...... hn? Somehow, I could feel a large sense of regret......!

"Well well. What a painful excuse. Everyone can see through it except for one person."

"That's right. Well, after being told that the confession was a misunderstanding, it's not like I can't understand why you want to put up a deception."


"............ you're not being honest."

"I-It's not like I'm making an excuse of any sort, really......! Wh-Who would like such an idiot!"

See through, they said, it was probably referring to the matter of me and Minami dating. What the hell. Everyone had realized that it was a lie? I was the only one who didn't realize it huh.

"Jeez......, in that case, you should have told me earlier. I ended up thinking Minami really likes me."

"Uwu...... Th-That can't be possible right!"

"Yeah. I also thought it strange. It's unthinkable that Minami will fall for me, besides ---"

"B-Besides what?"

"Besides, it's weird that Minami could act so gentle and meek right?"

"...... that's right. Good grief, it's just like what you said......!!"

"Mi-Minami!? I thought I heard an awful sound coming from my shoulder joint though!?"

Even when it's already fragile because of a lack of calcium, but yet!

"Anyway, the misunderstanding has been resolved. What's left is to tell this to Shimizu and everything will be resolved, right?"

"Yeah. With this, Shimizu will probably accept it."


"............ I will relay this properly."

For now, one thing has been settled. F-class can relax, I guess.

"Eh? What are you talking about? Mizuki, did anything happen?"

"No, I'm also clueless though...... Did anything happen?"

"Aah, that's right. You guys are out of the loop with regards to the matter with D-class. The truth is ---"

As I listened to Yuuji's explanation to Himeji-san and Minami, I stared blankly up at the sky.

Was Minami really fine with kissing me just for the sake of deceiving Shimizu-san, I wonder.

<noinclude>
----
===Translator's Notes===
<references/>
{{BakaTest Nav|prev=Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The First Question|next=Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The Third Question}}
</noinclude>

Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The First Question

2012-01-14T00:21:21Z

Rm3991:

"...... Yuuji."

"Wha --- arghhh!? What the hell are you doing all of a sudden!?"

"...... don't dodge."

"When you're butting your head with me, of course I'll dodge!"

"...... I'm not butting my head."

"? Then what's that? A heddobatto<ref>'''heddobatto:''' Headbutt.</ref>?"

"...... a kiss."

"Alright. I don't want to see any unnecessary movement from you. Put your hands behind your head and explain this slowly in a way that's easy to understand."

"...... putting lips together. A natural act between an engaged couple like me and Yuuji. It's called 'making out'."

"Wait. I didn't mean that I don't know what a 'kiss' is. I'm asking, why are you doing that out of the bl......ahhhh!"

"....... you say you know, with whom, when, at where did you......!!"

"N, no! What I meant is that I know the meaning of a kiss, it doesn't mean that I have any ---"

"...... experience?"

"--- you can't really say that I don't have any ex...gyaaaaa! I'm kidding! I'm just being cocky, I've never experienced a real one before!"


"...... I see. Then, it's fine."

"I, I thought I was going to die...... So, why did you talk about that out of the blue?"

"...... look."

"Yeah? Isn't that Akihisa and Shimada? I can't really see it from here --- but isn't Shimada running away from him?"

"...... they were kissing before that."

"Seriously! Ugh, the fellows in our class have started surrounding the ditched guy, Akihisa."

"...... an incredible killing intent."

"Woah, what a nice body! Something good is also stuffed in between his jaws. As expected, he's outnumbered."

"...... he can't move anymore."

"Tsk tsk. As usual, Akihisa is an idiot. They are famous for not showing any mercy to anyone who has experienced even something as small as a kiss."

"...... I'm sorry."

"Huh? What's wrong? Why are you apologizing? Since I haven't done anything like that, I'll be fine, you know?"

"...... the truth is, while Yuuji was sleeping ---"

"I can't hear you! I totally, completely can't hear you at all!"

"...... it's ok. Since I'll take responsibility."


"That's not the problem, isn't it!? --- hah! Killing intent gyaaaaaaaaa!"

"Heretics discovered. We've secured them."

"Alright. Take them away."

"Roger! President Sugawa!"

"....... ah...... Yuuji......"

"How goes the preparations for the trial?"

"No problem."

"Well done. We're going to begin the emergency heretic trial! All members, do not be negligent in inspecting your tools!"

"""Roger! President Sugawa!"""

"...... what should I do. I was so busy selling him out that I forgot to mention that I only did it on his cheek......"


===The First Question===
'''Convert the following words to proper English.'''

"Haatofuru Rabusutourii"

 
'''Himeji Mizuki's answer'''

"heartful love story"

'''Teacher's comment'''

Correct. It's a common catchphrase you see in movies and books, but every now and then, there will be someone who will get the "heart" part wrong. Even though it should be a familiar English word to most, it's surprisingly difficult to get it right.

By the way, translated to Japanese, it's "A romance story filled with love". I'd definitely like to see you all spend your springtime of youth in such a manner.

 
'''Shimada Minami's answer'''

"hurt full rough story"

'''Teacher's comment'''

*hurt...... injury

*full...... to be filled with

*rough...... rough

*story...... story

It's a beautiful mistake to the effect that I was wondering whether you got it wrong on purpose.

I think you will be the only one "playing out"<ref>'''Playing out:''' Here, the word used is "演じる" which could mean, "acting"(meaning Minami's love story is really as such) as well as "committing a blunder"(meaning Minami made a mistake in her answer).</ref> such a "heartful love story".

 
'''Kirishima Shouko's answer'''

"hurt full rough story"

'''Teacher's comment'''

To think that there's another one.

----


"Aki, close your eyes."

That came rather suddenly.

In front of me were a pair of large eyes framed with full eyelashes.

A shampoo fragrance could be detected emanating from that beautiful hair with the back tied up into a ponytail.

And then on my lips --- I could feel the touch of the soft, warm lips of Minami.

What's this. What just happened. Why is Minami's face so close to me. Why am I spacing out like this.

Not knowing what happened, in a jerking motion, Minami pulled away from me,

"Th, that...... is not a joke, I'm telling you......!"

After saying that one line, she ran away from me.

Ahaha. Minami's face is surprisingly red. Just like a tomato.

I was overseeing this scene, taking in this situation in a strangely calm manner.

"As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa-kun......"

I'm strangely concerned with the murmuring voice of the nearby Himeji-san.


"Yoshii, prepare yourself!"

And then, what came next was rather sudden.

A tightly clenched large fist appeared in front of me.

And then, I felt the hard, sweltering touch of Sugawa's fist on my cheek.

What's this. What just happened. Why is Sugawa-kun and the rest of F class closing in on me like predators closing in on their prey. Why is my vision quivering.

Not knowing what happened, in a jerking motion, Sugawa-kun pulled away from me,

"Th, that...... is not a joke, I'm telling you......! ...... we're really going to kill you!"

He raised his hand and gave the others around him a signal.

"Eh!? Eh!? Wait wait! I don't understand the situa --- gyaaaaa!"

A killing intent that had never been felt before. For some reason, it seemed like everyone was looking at me with serious eyes!?

"As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa......"

"No, Himeji-san! Enough of that! Anyway for now, save me--- !"

At that moment, my consciousness descended into darkness.


"Gentlemen. Where are we?"

"""The court that passes down the oldest form of judgement!"""

"What will the heretic get?"

"""The iron hammer of death!"""

"What will the guy get?"

"""He shall throw away his love, and live in sorrow!"""

"Good. Now --- let the heretic trial of class 2-F begin!"


When I opened my eyes, it was the meeting place of Sabbath.

"Eh? Huh? What's the meaning of this?"

Even though the curtains had been drawn up and it was dark, I realized I was in my usual classroom from the feel of tatami. In other words, the masked guys standing beside the platform were of class 2-F.

"Akihisa, you've awakened."

A familiar voice came from nearby. As I tried to turn around to face that voice, I realized for the first time that my hands and feet had been bound.

And I had no choice but to roll my entire body to face the direction of the owner of that voice. What I was seeing before me was the figure of my bad pal, also with his hands and feet bound, lying there.

"...... Yuuji, what are you doing?"

"...... I've been dragged into this by you."

He spat with his scowling, annoyed face that gave out a complete feeling of wildness. Just like a wild animal tied up in a cage.

"Dragged into this?"

"Thanks to you, the talk about 'me getting kissed by Shouko while asleep' was overheard by them. What a great bother, bastard."


Hm hm. Kirishima-san kissing. Kissing Yuuji. I see ---

".............................. huh?"

No no no. Wait a minute please. Isn't it too good a thing to be ignored?

Kirishima-san and Yuuji have kissed? That beautiful Kirishima Shouko-san who is good in studies and sports and also with a good family background, and the plain Sakamoto Yuuji who is bad in personality and brains, have kissed? Haha. That's really a distasteful joke. So stupid to the point beyond laughable....... but, what if.

I don't really want to think about it, but what if. If in one in a million chance, that's true.

If that's the case, even if God permits, I shall not forgive him......!

"Everyone, this is bad! Sakamoto Yuuji is suspected to be a heretic! Time to prepare for an emergency trial!"

"Wait Akihisa! Rather, weren't you the one who was trying to make us kiss at the Kisaragi Highland incident!? In other words, you are the real heretic!"

Yuuji was prattling about some nonsensical stuff. Me, a heretic?

"Yuuji, how unsightly! You're plotting to shift some unfounded allegation onto me to protect yourself! Do you think I'll swallow that!"


This was not a joke. Having lived in this world for sixteen years. This was not something to be proud of, but I had never yet had the joyful experience of being kissed! ...... well, I've received one on the cheek however......

"This, this idiot......! If you don't believe me, just try listening to what they are saying!"

Even though I didn't get what Yuuji was saying, for now, I'd do as he said and try stretching my hearing. As I did that, I could make out a strange conversation going on between my classmates.

"--- read out the charges."

"Yes, President Sugawa. Eh--- the accused, Yoshii Akihisa (from now on, he shall be referred to as A), a student of our Fumizuki Academy's class 2-F, is suspected of violating our doctrine. The charges for A are indecent assault, as well as, acts of infidelity. At the early dawn of this very day, when A was forcefully performing an obscene act on his classmate, Shimada Minami (from now on, she shall be referred to as Flat-Chest), he was apprehended by our compatriots. He is now brought before us. From here on, after we have thoroughly investigated the relationship between A and Flat-Chest, to properly deal with A ---"

"Skip the trivialities. Read out the conclusion."

"We're envious of him being kissed!"

"Uhm. It's truly an easy-to-understand report."


Eh? Huh? Kiss? What's that. Speaking of this, something like that did seem to happen, or didn't seem to happen......

"Akihisa. You must have lost your memories from the excessive shock, so let me tell you about it. This morning, you and Shimada kissed. And it was right in front of Himeji."

Yuuji seemed to be explaining to me.

Kiss. With Minami. I kissed. What's that. After being told that, it did seem like Minami and I kissed.

But that's not possible.

"Haha. You can stop the jokes, Yuuji. Since there's definitely no way that Minami would actually kiss someone like me, right?"

Even for me, I'd know my place. I'm not someone who's passionate about any club activities, neither am I good in studies, nor am I good in anything in particular. Only someone who's not aware of any of these realities, someone like Hazuki-chan, would actually be willing to kiss me.

"Well, don't put yourself down so much, Akihisa. Indeed, you are the worst when it comes to looks, studies, and personality, and even if one closes his eyes to them, you're just someone with neither ability nor wealth, isn't it?"

"Damn you! Are you saying I'm good for nothing except for shoulder massages!?"


"At this age, only shoulder massages!? Don't you have other strengths that you can use for arguing!?"

There should be a limit to how much he can make a fool out of me. If my hands and feet were not bound up, I would have made a grab for him.

"In any case, it's a fact that you and Shimada have kissed. Seems like there's undeniable proof."

Before I could ask about the proof, a photograph was thrust before my eyes.

"............ traitors should die."

The person who muttered that and who was holding on to the photograph was none other than my classmate, the Muttsuliini Tsuchiya Kouta. Even though he is usually a quiet guy who is hardworking in taking photos while erasing his presence, right now, he is releasing a quiet killing intent just like a ninja who's a moment away from carrying out an assassination.

And in that photograph in his hand, was a scene of a guy who resembled me kissing a girl who resembled Minami --- so, as to speak, however you look at it, it's me kissing Minami.

"Eh!? Is this for real!? That wasn't a dream!?"

"If it were a dream, you wouldn't be all tied up like this."

"I, I see. So that's how I ended up like this......"

I did possess a hazy memory of that, but to think that it was real...... Me and Minami kiss huh.......

"I'm sorry for interrupting your reverie in embarrassment to the point where even your ears are red, but I have a question."


"That, that's not it......! This, is just, my face getting hot......"

"I get it, I get it. So, how did the both of you end up like that?"

How, you say......

"I'd like to ask that as well."

I had not the slightest idea why Minami would do that all of a sudden. She was probably threatened by someone to catch me in a trap, I guess.

"Use that spongy head of yours to think it through. Did anything strange happen recently, or was there anything about her that was out of the ordinary?"

Even if we're talking about something recent, ever since my mobile was broken, I've not contacted her at all.

"Uh~n......"

What was it. What actually happened?

"Let's change the question. When was the last time you saw Shimada?"

The last time I saw her. It's of course referring to a time other than this morning, isn't it? If that's the case,

"Erm...... the last night of the training camp, I guess?"

"The last night?"

"Yeah. After everyone was asleep, Minami came to me secretly."

"............ why didn't you think of that as strange?"


Yuuji had a dumbstruck look on his face.

"Well, because she was coming to kill me......"

"...... well then, what did you say to her before seeing her that night?"

The conversation before we met huh. Speaking of that, then it had to be the mail, I guess.

The contents of that mail, if I remembered correctly ---

"Something that sounded like a confession was said."

"...... huh? Shimada said that to you?"

"No, I said it to Minami."

"Did such a thing really happen?"

"Yeah. That did happen."

"Right, right. I see, I see."

Yuuji nodded.

And following that, as I was thinking of letting out a large sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

"Go to hell."

Wham......

The heel of his shoe came burying itself into my face.

"...... ugh! My face......ugh! I could feel a dent forming in my skull...... ugh!"


"What's with the 'I don't know'! Isn't that something totally out of the ordinary, you idiot!"

Yuuji was looking at the writhing me as if I'm some kind of idiot. Damn! I can't afford to get any plainer than this!

"So, what was it that you said?"

Having calmed down again, Yuuji continued asking.

What did I say? What did I write in that misleading mail?

Erm....... ah, that's right. The mail that time, if I remember correctly,

"'I love you more than Yuuji' was written."

"Wait, your standard of love is pegged to me!?"

With a look of disgust on his face, Yuuji pulled away from me. A big misunderstanding.

Just as I was thinking about how to make it clear to Yuuji that even if I'm a homosexual I wouldn't go after him, the apparent organizer of this suspicious gathering (I'm afraid it's Sugawa-kun) looked towards here.

"Heretic, Yoshii Akihisa. Would thou repent and accept our judgement?"

With a quiet voice, Sugawa-kun (?) waits for my response. If I respond to him carelessly, I might jeopardize my life.

"Hey, before I answer you, I have a question."


"Speak."

"What kind of judgement are you referring to?"

Responding to my query, Sugawa-kun (assumed) squinted his eyes and announced to me.

"First, we shall prepare kerosene and a lighter ---"

"The accusations are false! I'm not a believer who would go against the doctrine!"

As if I would let myself get roasted from a misunderstanding!

"I see. In that case, we shall force you to confess."

"You said it! You just said 'force you to confess' all of a sudden! This trial is useless!"

"That's right! Let's force him to confess!"

"Let's falsify the records of the proceedings!"

"Hey wait! You guys are not playing by the rules!? Normally, at this juncture, I don't think you should be going along with the act of forcing confessions!"

Do these guys really understand what a trial means?

"Eeh, the kerosene and lighter are not ready yet!"

"Are those what you use for interrogation to yield a confession!? Both are used for execution right!?"


"That's not it, Yoshii. In the case when the accused pleads innocence, this would be used twice, once for forcing a confession, and once for meting out the sentence; we're just taking enough of it for one use."

"I won't be deceived! Even when you say it like the selling catchphrase of a facial cleanser that comes with added volume, I won't be deceived."

In the first place, when it comes down to using a lighter and kerosene, there won't be a second time.

"Yuuji! Yuuji, you should say something as well! At this rate, we're going to become roasted bodies!"

"Damn you guys......! If you want to do it, just do it on this guy!"

"Yuuji...... thank --- no! That line, thinking about it clearly, aren't you just selling me out to save yourself! You low-life. You only care about yourself!"

Normally, it should have been, 'if you want to do it, just do it to me!'. Because he said it in such a cool way, for an instant, I was thankful to Yuuji.

"Aren't you the man, Sakamoto. If you're willing to go this far, as you wish, we'll do it to Yoshii."

Even now, Sugawa-kun (verified) was still deceived by Yuuji's words.

"Realize it, Sugawa-kun! At this rate, I'll be the only victim!"

While I hollered at the limit of my voice, I did not display my fiery tension outwardly.

"Well, since the preparation of the kerosene seems delayed, for now, let's make Yoshii do 'Special Bungee Jump'."


I could smell a whiff of death from the sudden announcement from Sugawa.

"Sugawa-kun. Just out of curiosity, what's this 'Special Bungee Jump'?"

Even I know what a bungee jump is. The question is how 'special' is it.

"Let's see...... If I go into too many details, it might bring unnecessary unease to Yoshii, so I'll just give a hint ---"

Sugawa turned his face away, and seemed to look at the windows with the drawn-up curtains.

"--- I'd just say that it's akin to skydiving without a parachute."

People call that execution.

"You call that complete description a hint that wouldn't bring me unnecessary unease! With no cord!? You want me to do a bungee jump with no cord!?"

These guys are seriously bad news. In order to escape from this place, just as I was considering ramming my body against the window and using the broken pieces to cut away these ropes that were bounding me,

"Akihisa."

I could hear the nearby Yuuji whispering to me.

"Eh? What's up, Yuuji?"

"Use this."

Hidden from Sugawa-kun's view, Yuuji handed out something with his bound hands.


"Yuuji..... Thanks......."

As I said my word of thanks to my bad pal who was saving me from this pinch, I ascertained the thing he passed over to me...... a rubber band?

"You can use this on your feet."

Yuuji announced to me confidently, and I looked at him and thought.

Ah I see. This guy must have contracted a terrible illness of the head.

"You know, Yuuji. I'm really happy, but just this alone can't support my weight."

However you think about it, I would end up in pieces.

As I explained this gently to my sick bad pal, an unbefitting smile floated on Yuuji's face and he replied.

"Stupid Akihisa. That's not all."

"Eh? Is that so?"

I see. This isn't everything yet. That should have been expected. Even if it's Yuuji, he should know this well enough. I was jumping to conclusion too early ---

"I've prepared another one."

He said confidently as he passed me another rubber band.


A pity. Yuuji's illness must have entered terminal stage and can no longer be cured by modern medicine.

"You know, Yuuji. It's not about the numbers."

As I looked at my bad pal who was carrying an illness of the head with pained eyes,

"...... suspension has just ended, and what are you guys doing right now......"

Ironman sighed as he slapped his hand on his forehead, having just walked into class for morning homeroom.

"Ah, Sensei! You've come just at the right time! Save me! This is an act of violence in school! I'm being bullied by my classmates!"

"That's not it! This is a holy war to maintain the morals within this school! Yoshii has committed acts of indecency towards members of the opposite sex!"

Having listened to us, with an utter look of amazement, Ironman began.

"Ah...... Whatever, are you guys okay with not taking mark replenishment tests? Thanks to what happened at the training camp, all the guys practically have no marks left right?"

Ironman was talking about the application to take the tests.

In order to take the tests during normal lesson times, the teachers have to make preparations and as such, it's necessary to make an application beforehand. At this rate, without making any application, we're probably going to carry on with normal classes.

At the end of that training camp, it was a death fray using every subject, and because of that, practically everyone was depleted of marks in all the subjects. That's why, it might be necessary for us to replenish our marks sometime down the road......


""This not the time for that.""

Since three months had yet to pass since the last summoning test war, we would not be able to wage a new summoning test war. Furthermore, we're the F class with the worst facilities. There was no need to worry about anyone attacking us. Instead of worrying about the test marks which wouldn't have any impending use, the direction in which my fate would take was much more pressing.

"Man man. If you guys say so, it doesn't matter to me then...... Anyway, just an announcement. The maintenance work on the summoning test system that started last week will take longer than expected. Even though the teachers are pushing for it, seems like it won't be ready till tomorrow. Just note that summoning test wars are not possible till then. That's all."

While Ironman seemed to have left the class after prattling about something, all our attention was focused on the trial.

"Yoshii! Stop resisting! It's bad to not know when to give up!"

"Damn! Someone, save m--- that's right! Himeji-san! Where's Himeji-san!? The kind Himeji-san will definitely save me!"

I looked around the dark classroom to search for the figure of Himeji-san. The cute, smart, and well-endowed idol of F class was sitting in her own seat quietly.


"I beg you, Himeji-san! Save me!"

I called out to her frantically.

However, Himeji-san seemed to have not heard me and was spacing out, mumbling about something.

"As I thought...... Minami-chan, towards Akihisa-kun......"

"Eeh!? You're still going on about that!?"

She seemed to be repeating that same old line for the past thirty minutes.

At the time when all ways seemed to be exhausted and as I was preparing myself for the worst,

"What, what on earth is this?"

A glimmer of hope appeared in the classroom.

"Hideyoshi! Thank heavens......! Since there was no sign of you all this while, I thought you were on a leave of absence."

Standing in shock, with a hand on the door, was my classmate who has been awarded the high honor of a rare beauty, Kinoshita Hideyoshi. I have heard rumors of her parents having made a mistake in entering the register, this dear friend of mine with a cute outward appearance has proclaimed herself to be a guy.

"I was held up by some preparations this morning, and thus late, but....... Akihisa, what did you guys do?"

The classroom was curtained in darkness, and me and Yuuji were curled up like bagworms. And our classmates were masked. Anyone normal would have been surprised by this situation occurring in a classroom.


"Kinoshita. Don't interfere. Right now, we're about to execute heretics Yoshii Akihisa and Sakamoto Yuuji."

Finally, it's no longer a trial but an execution, it seemed.

"Is that so. However, I can understand if it's Yuuji, but what did Akihisa do?"

"Listen carefully, Kinoshita. The heretic Yoshii Akihisa had conducted an act of indecency by kissing Shimada Minami this morning in the premises of our holy city, Fumitsu Academy ---"

Slide.

In the middle of Sugawa's sentence, the door of the classroom, different from the one from which Hideyoshi had come through, opened.

And then, flushing all the way to her ears, with her face downwards, a female student appeared, quickly walking to her seat. Speak of the devil. It was the individual whose name had just been mentioned, Shimada Minami herself.

"""............"""

A sudden silence descended upon the classroom.


With a strange atmosphere that was different from usual, no one in F class spoke.

"Good morning, everyone. Due to various matters, I'm here to take over Fuse-sensei's class--- what's wrong, everyone?"

The teacher for the first period looked at us with widened eyes. 

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===Translator's Notes===
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