Baka-Tsuki - User contributions [en]

Clannad:Guidelines

2008-11-08T22:14:49Z

ZeForte: Added "School Foundation Day" to name conventions based on discussion

'''If you wish to make a translation contribution and cannot abide by the Guidelines for any reason, post the text in <pre> tags, and mark the top of the page with <nowiki>{{Clannad:Cleanup}}</nowiki>. A Project Editor will handle the transfer into an acceptable format.'''

Pages will be marked at the top, either by:
*<nowiki>{{</nowiki>[[Template:Clannad:Translating|Clannad:Translating]]<nowiki>}}</nowiki>, to indicate translation is underway. Pages are categorized under [[:Category:ClannadTranslating]].
*<nowiki>{{</nowiki>[[Template:Clannad:Cleanup|Clannad:Cleanup]]<nowiki>}}</nowiki>, to indicate cleanup is necessary. Pages are categorized under [[:Category:ClannadCleanup]].
*<nowiki>{{</nowiki>[[Template:Clannad:Recode|Clannad:Recode]]<nowiki>}}</nowiki>, to indicate that the page needs or has undergone Kepago cleanup. Pages are categorized under [[:Category:ClannadRecode]].
*<nowiki>{{</nowiki>[[Template:Clannad:Alternate|Clannad:Alternate]]<nowiki>}}</nowiki>, to indicate that an alternative translation is available.

As part of the [[Clannad|Clannad Translation project]], the following guidelines here must be adhered to, if you are an Editor or Translator. Its parent page stems from the [[Format_guideline|Suzumiya Haruhi Project Guidelines]], but has the following amendments:

== Translators ==
*Any number of translators can translate the same file at any given time. However, if the link already has a translation, translators are advised to make changes to the current file and post in the Talk page for the respective SEEN file.
*Anonymous translation contributers are required to inform a Project Editor, Translator, or Administrator before any major contribution.
*If you translate a line and believe the line requires a checkover, please add a "*" beside the line. Someone more experienced may then look it over for you.
*If you cannot translate a line at all, and can only guess what the line is, '''DO NOT TRANSLATE THE LINE'''. Instead, leave a comment with your name indicating what you think the line should be translating to. Making a guess makes it very difficult for translators to revise the text, that and if you knew it was going to be a guess, you should have put a "*" at the end of the translation in the first place.
*'''Only Japanese -> English translation is allowed in the Clannad Translation Project.'''

== Editors ==
*Anonymous editing is not allowed for finalized pages. If you wish to make a contribution, please make a comment in the discussion page for a SEEN file for review by the Project Translation Team.

== Tenses ==
For the most part, when Tomoya speaks in narration, he will be speaking in present tense, unless the context applies to him talking about the past. The Illusionary World will also involve present tense where necessary.

== SEEN Page Format ==

All SEEN pages on the wiki are to follow this format:
<pre>
{{Clannad:Translating}}
Return to the main page [[Clannad|here]].

== Translation ==
*[[User:yournamehere|yournamehere]]

== Text ==
<div class="clannadbox">
<pre>
insert your content here
</pre>
</div>
== Script Chart ==
{{Clannad:ScriptChart}}
</pre>

The content to be inserted is of the format below.

==Dialogue/Narration Syntax==
*The default format for the final kepago text files is:
<pre>
// Resources for <FILE>

#character <name in english>
// name in Japanese
#character <name2 in english>
// name2 in Japanese

<0001> some narration
// narration in Japanese
<0002> \{Man} "oh hey i said something"
// \{男}「おお、俺が言っていた」 {-yeah, that's what he says-}
<0003> \{Man} (and then some)
// \{男}（etc. etc.）
</pre>
Please make use of the "//" for comments where needed. Spacing between \{Man} and "quote" does not appear to matter.
*Dialogue will always be enclosed in quotation marks "".
*Comments to oneself or whispering to others will be done in parenthesis brackets ().
*Ellipses "..." can only happen in groups of three. So if there are six of them, it should be "......"
**Immediately after a set of ellipses, any words following shouldn't be capitalized, and there should be a space between (e.g., "... what?").
*As the game is happening in realtime, present tense should be used unless past events are being discussed. So when Tomoya is in class and the class has ended, Tomoya should speak about how the class has ended in the present tense. However, if he talks about how he got injured by his father from long ago, that should be spoken in past tense.
*Event tags such as "\size{}", "\p", "\r", etc. should be preserved at all times. If different positioning is required for creative/technical reasons, don't hesitate to make such changes.
*Unless the Japanese text has used it, "\r" and "\n" cannot be used at all. We already have automatic line breaking in place, so there's no need to do line breaking on your part, unless the script calls for it (for example, two people speak at the same time).
*If "Tomoya" appears anywhere in the text, it must be replaced with "\m{B}". If "Okazaki" appears anywhere, it must be replaced with "\m{A}". The reason is that the game stores the name in an A,B format for Okazaki,Tomoya. \m{} calls the name. For consistency reasons, this must be followed.

===Character Set===
When RLdev compiles for dynamic lineation, it requires that all resource strings follow a specific format; that is, any string following <tt><xxxx></tt> must follow CP1252 in order to allow the ''Western'' encoding mode to run perfectly with rlBabel.

After some further research, the character map listed for [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows-1252 Windows-1252] reveals that the following characters are not supported under the RLdev system when compiling for dynamic lineation:

<table border="1">
<tr>
<th>Unicode</th>
<th>Replacement</th>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">…</td>
<td align="center">...</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">～</td>
<td align="center">~</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">㎝</td>
<td align="center">cm</td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">♪</td>
<td align="center"></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">♂</td>
<td align="center"></td>
</tr>

<tr>
<td align="center">♀</td>
<td align="center"></td>
</tr>

</table>

If any of the items listed above are blank, it means that currently an image is being looked into, in order to allow the character to appear. Please be patient until a character has been made. If a character already exists as a replacement, please use it.

Characters that must be substituted will use the \em{} command (not \e{}). More details on how this command works is available at [http://dev.haeleth.net/rldev/manual.html#ccode:em Haeleth's development site].

===Event Codes===
*For people with voice patches... if the script calls for certain event tags such as pauses to be replaced by \wait{} due to some issues from transferring the PS2 script to PC, please make those changes and comment them in as necessary.
*Emphasis codes (\b and \u) are allowed; this means that text such as "R2D2! It \bis\u you!" will end up looking like "R2D2! It ''is'' you!". '''NOT''' to be confused with '''bold''' or underlined. Refer to [http://dev.haeleth.net/rldev/manual.html#@default63 this page] for more details.
** When you use \b the italiced text is canceled out when it detects \p, so if the line is like this "\bSentence 1...\p Sentence 2\u" sentence 1 will be italiced but sentence 2 will not be... to fix this, you should use "\bSentence 1...\u\p \bSentence 2\u"
*Hyperlinking is allowed. The plan is that these hyperlinks will act as the "TL Notes" window in the game. Please see [http://dev.haeleth.net/rldev/manual.html#ccode:g this section] for more details on the \g{} command.

== Naming Conventions ==
The following namelist is suggested for all naming (additions can be made at any given time):

<table>
<tr>
<th>Last Names</th>
<th>First Names</th>
<th>Important</th>
</tr>

<tr>
<td valign="top">
*\l{A}
*\m{A}
*春原: Sunohara
*古河: Furukawa
*一ノ瀬: Ichinose
*坂上: Sakagami
*伊吹: Ibuki
*宮沢: Miyazawa
*藤林: Fujibayashi
*相樂: Sagara
*幸村: Koumura
*芳野: Yoshino
*柊: Hiiragi
*仁科: Nishina
*杉坂: Sugisaka
</td>
<td valign="top">

<table><tr><td valign="top">
*\l{B} (rare)
*\m{B}
*直幸: Naoyuki
*敦子: Atsuko
*史乃: Shio
*汐: Ushio
*渚: Nagisa
*陽平: Youhei
*芽衣: Mei
*秋生: Akio
*早苗: Sanae
*ことみ: Kotomi
</td><td valign="top">
*智代: Tomoyo
*風子: Fuuko
*公子: Kouko
*有紀寧: Yukine
*椋: Ryou
*杏: Kyou
*美佐枝: Misae
*俊夫: Toshio
*祐介: Yuusuke
*勝平: Kappei
*勇: Yuu
</td></tr></table>

</td>

<td valign="top">
*幻想世界: Illusionary World
*ガラクタ: Junk
*だんご大家族: The Big Dango Family
</td>
</tr><tr>
<th colspan="2">Other</th>
</tr><tr>
<td valign="top">
*＊B (full-width characters)
*声: Voice
*男子生徒: Male Student
*女生徒: Female Student
*女子、女の子、少女: Girl
*男の子: Boy
*男の子Ａ: Boy A
*男の子Ｂ: Boy B
*Rugby Member
*ラグビー部員: Rugby Player
*男: Man
*女性: Woman
**婆さん:Old Lady
*担任: HR Teacher
*Delinquents
*Delinquent A
*Delinquent B
*Delinquent C
</td><td valign="top">
*謎の転校生: Mysterious Transfer Student
*教師: Teacher
*男子: Young Man
*クラス一同: Entire Class
*勇の母: Yuu's Mother
*ボタン: Botan
*バッター: Batter
*相手チーム: Opposing Team (baseball only)
*相手: Opposition (baseball only)
*審判: Referee
*チームメイト: Teammate
*全員: All members
*売り子: Seller
*生徒: Student
*生徒Ａ: Student A
*生徒Ｂ: Student B
*ナベ: Nabe
*工業高校: Industrial High School
*創立者祭: School Foundation Day

</td>
</tr>
</table>

=== Special Case: Baseball Scenario ===
For the baseball scenario and the sake of standardization, all terminology should come from:
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_statistics

=== Special Case: Fuuko's Third Person ===
Fuuko speaks in third person, and in fact this notion is taken into consideration from [[Clannad:SEEN1418|SEEN1418]]:
<pre>
<0211> \{Female Student} "This is what Fuuko wants to do."
// \{女生徒} 「風子がそうしたいんです」
<0212> \{Female Student} "So please leave Fuuko alone."
// \{女生徒} 「放っておいてください」
<0213> \{\m{B}} "That Fuuko you're talking about, is that your name?"
// \{\m{B}} 「風子っていうの、おまえ？」
<0214> \{Fuuko} "Yes... Ibuki Fuuko."
// \{風子} 「はい…伊吹風子です」
</pre>

Talk:Clannad:Guidelines

2008-11-02T21:10:35Z

ZeForte: /* Tenses */

== Tenses ==
Velocity_7 requested I make a section for this on the discussion page.

So what do you guys think about the current rules for tenses? --[[User:Minagi|Minagi]] 22:28, 13 December 2007 (PST)

:I did some editing and I got the impression that there are two different narrators. One is telling what's happening right now("she turns around", "I go to ..." etc) and the other is somewhere in the future and recalls things("that night, I saw a dream" , "the days passed by"). What I did was have any action and any (unspoken) thoughts be in present tense and only leave stuff in the past where present doesn't work(above examples, or then Tomoya recalls things that are clearly in the past("something like this also happened before the end of last year")). Although that works pretty well, I'm not sure if it matches with the original. Any other insights? --[[User:ZeForte|ZeForte]] 13:10, 2 November 2008 (PST)

== Digits, Interjections, thinking words, shouts/screams and action words ==
I would like to clarify on some of the translation guidelines.

Firstly, do we substitute Arabic numerals on the original text for half-width digits (e.g. 20) or their English equivalents (Twenty)? If it had not been decided, I would suggest that we stick to digits for convention, clarity and conciseness. For kanji numerals, I'd rather we use English words.

In the translations I have seen, interjections were mostly substituted beautifully, but there were several crude ones, and some of those were translated in other ways for other scenarios.

May I suggest to translators and editors:

あの, ano -> Um

え, e -> Eh (repeated えs would be Eeeeh etc.)

ああ, aa -> Ya / K' / Yea / Aah (depending on context)

あ, a -> Ah

えっと, etto -> Erm / Err

っ, 'sokuon' -> ' (e.g. 「えっ？」 -> "Eh'?" , but only when the situation allows) (refer to the Yorkshire accent part on glottal stops in Wikipedia [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glottal_stop])

For those at the end of sentences:

よ, ね, な, ぞ etc. -> huh / not? / (nothing, for when it is an integral part of the sentence, i.e. sounds awkward without it) / reflected in the sentence as

だろう, だろ -> I wonder / I guess / right? / not? / probably / it is probable

I believe the rest have more obvious equivalents in English, and won't have much trouble integrating.

In the topic of screams, as they usually hold no meaning, might I suggest substituting them word for word (Hepburn romanization with kana spelling) with the ー, chouon substituted for a dash, small vowels as their english equivalent (I have thought of substituting large vowels with caps, but wouldn't it lose some aesthetic quality?) and っ with a 'h' where aesthetic standards allow.

For action words that occupy a single line, may I suggest the format as per in the following example, :''もぐもぐ… *mogu mogu, munch munch''

I used the above format for action words in sentences like じっと、そこを見た during my translation draft (which was only at its third day as per this project's founding, despite that I started it near the end of December). However, I find it sloppy when nested in sentences, and I guess it also breaks the flow of the script. Please criticize this suggestions mercilessly.[[User:Jc100|Jc100]] 03:34, 6 February 2007 (PST)

: I agree with most of the conventions used above, albeit with a few minor changes:
: - 'mogu mogu' should just be 'munch, munch'
: - IRJustman and I would like to go with using just words for numbers (e.g., five), unless it comes to maybe 10-yen coins. Not like someone can say "one million yen", right, as opposed to "1,000,000 yen"?
: - screams we'll have to think about, it's kind of hard to romanize say, Sunohara's ひぃぃぃぃぃぃ！！
: - most of the stuff above is freeform, so like you said, will depend on context.
: [[User:Velocity7|velocity7]] 10:09, 6 February 2007 (EST)

: Ditto with velocity7. But I think the interjection translations should be guidelines; translators should retain free rein in using alternatives to naturalise/normalise the speech. Same goes for wild random screaming, this should be translator's call?
: More importantly, characters need to sound consistent throughout the game. Either this should be handled by QC, or translators can route-specialise. Or something; i'm new to this game.
: American English, or British English?
: --[[User:Kwok|Kwok]] 05:40, 13 February 2007 (PST)

== Naming ==
May I suggest adding a Female Youth name as a translation for 少女, shoujo, as a name title especially for the first Kotomi scene. At that first meeting, Tomoya was not too fond of her, hence the more formal name (albeit more conventional, in my opinion), even though name titles are not actually supposed to reflect relations.[[User:Jc100|Jc100]] 03:34, 6 February 2007 (PST)

I'm inclined to follow your suggestion too, but will there be space constraints? Also, 'Female Youth' sounds rather detached and unemotional for a guy's thoughts, so would 'Girl' be simpler and sweeter? It's more casual and normalise the scenario that way. Same for shounen; we could call them "Guy".--[[User:Kwok|Kwok]] 05:29, 13 February 2007 (PST)

A bit of trouble with the main arc. Tomoya often refers to Akio as オッサン. Would that be 'Uncle'?--[[User:Kwok|kwok]] 01:46, 4 May 2007 (PDT)

== Punctuation and General Typography ==

In the guidelines page, ellipses were written as '...' (3 periods). However, there exists a special character for groups of 3 ellipses, '…'. This character is also used in the game text. Unless it is due to technical restrictions(which I doubt there is), the second ellipse should be used. That is to distinguish the ellipses from the period following, as per The Chicago Manual of Style[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E2%80%A6]. Yes, a period is required after ellipses when writing in English. I would not recommend using a program to substitute periods for this character after translating for fear that it might make some unwanted changes in the text.

There are also other things to take note of. The hyphen at your keyboard is only for hyphens. For dashes, use the following

For a limited range, e.g. '07–15' (haven't encountered any), or prefixing a term e.g. 'pre–World War II', use an en dash '–' (XP users: Alt+0150)

For an open range, e.g. 'Saturday—' an em dash '—'(XP users: Alt+0151)

A word that is cut off halfway (say, when some interrupts your conversation) is denoted by a character more commonly seen in Unicode art (well, it sure isn't ASCII, and it's not Shift-JIS)(part of the box drawing character set). It seems like Key used that character as it did not have gaps when placed consequentially. Long lines are usually multiples of this character too. I would recommend using the horizontal bar '―' (U+2013; ampersand, hash, 8213, semicolon), as it also joins with another itself.

As stated in the previous topic, the chouon is used for creative purposes in shouts and yells. The em dash is an excellent substitution for it.

The full width tilde '～' is used in several instances, like ぐっ～～. Seems like Key used it instead of the more politically correct wave symbol '〜' (they probably didn't know of it's existence). Both are in East Asian character sets. I can't find of any non-Asian character that imitates the full width tilde satisfactorily. Maybe we should default to half width tildes?

There is a quotation dash ⁓ (U+2053; ampersand, hash, 8275, semicolon). However, I currently cannot think of any instance it might be required in the script.
[[User:Jc100|Jc100]] 03:05, 13 February 2007 (PST)

:I understand that there is a love for Unicode characters in the script at the moment. However, if you would all please have a look at [http://dev.haeleth.net/rldev/manual.html#htoc26 this website...]
:You'll notice that I am currently using Western encoding to encode the script with rlBabel. At the time of this writing, this is currently the only way to compile the script so that it looks and works fine. In other words, if the character is not supported under CP1251 or ISO-8859-1, it is not very likely to work. This includes all Japanese characters.

:That's the reasoning for my use of "..." at the moment. For all other characters, they will have to be replaced or modified in some way in order to match up with this. I haven't had time to go look back in scripts to fix this, so if you have time, please feel free to fix them.

:--[[User:Velocity7|velocity7]], February 13, 2007, 8:59 AM EST

CP1252 uses the code point 85 for ellipses, which is unassigned in ISO-8859-1. I'm guessing that this was what Haeleth meant by (ISO-8859-1 with extensions). Why not give it a try?

[[User:Jc100|Jc100]] 12:37, 13 February 2007 (PST)

== 創立者祭 ==

A couple of possible translations for 創立者祭:[http://www.japanisdoomed.com/2006/10/01/school-festival/][http://web-japan.org/kidsweb/explore/calendar/november/festival.html]
*school festival (impossible due to SEEN2510)
*Founder's Day
*School Anniversary

Any comments? --[[User:Velocity7|velocity7]]

**I would pick Founder's Day. --[[User:Kwok|kwok]] 00:10, 11 May 2007 (PDT)
***Actually, I would pick School Foundation Day, lol... we have those days in school here :P --[[User:Dgreater1|DGreater1]] 11:00, 12 May 2007 (8:00+)

== Botan vs. Button ==

AnimeSuki thread[[http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?p=1102302&highlight=botan#post1102302]]
:I can't wait to see Botan as well ^-^ People seem to think it is Button... but I don't know which is which I found this
::During the Edo period, people started eating the meat of wild boar and called it "botan (peony)". The meat of deer was called "momiji (maple leaf)" and that of the horses was "sakura (cherry blossoms)." In this way the pious Buddhists could pretend to eat as vegetarians....
:source: http://japanese.about.com/library/weekly/aa010307a.htm
:So wonder if it is Botan as in Button, Flower or...pork lol.
:Would make sense with the Botan-Nabe as in the Kyou After Scene the boar is Nabe... Would make sense with Kappei XD when he wants to eat him --Leo_Otaku
::Judging by their conversation... I can safely say that it's Botan (as in food) and not Button :3
::Thanks for pointing that out and giving some info
::Oh wait! I could also be wrong and Kyou really named him Button and the two might just be making "pun" with the name (ボタン) Button :3
::And so my idea divided... in Kyou's perspective... Botan's name can be Button... then, Tomoya made a pun about it using (ぼたん or 牡丹) botan, which could also mean, wild boar meat.
::But Kyou could also say it as Botan, as in peony... a name of a flower... and since Kyou knows that wild boar piglets looks like peony when they're little, it could also mean that she name her as Botan... anyway... I guess, only the creator can answer this question, since I talked about this with a native Japanese and he said that "maybe" it means peony XD--[[User:Dgreater1|DGreater1]]

==Miscellaneous==

A few questions I'd like to ask, but don't really fit into the talk pages of a particular SEEN:

What pronoun should be used to refer to Botan? It currently switches between he and it, sometimes even within the same sentence.

Should Sunohara be using "she" to refer to Tomoyo before he's convinced that she's actually a girl?

Category:ClannadCleanup

2008-11-02T15:23:41Z

ZeForte:

The following pages have been marked for cleanup. See [[Template:Clannad:Cleanup]] for more information.

== Files To be TL Checked ==
'''Translators, please pass over the list of files here and mark when it's done. Thanks.
*[[Clannad:SEEN6801]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6802]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6803]]

== Files to be reviewed ==
Editors, please enter here any SEEN files that you feel you would like to change tense for, but have no idea if it will affect Japanese meaning. A Translator will look over your change and approve it if it is deemed acceptable. Format is the following:

<pre>
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
</pre>

*[[Clannad:SEEN2415]]
**Line 0075, <Sounds weird; is the double negation needed?>
*[[Clannad:SEEN2417]]
**Line 0062, <"The 'I' you said just now!" and then "That means that you have a shaver with you. Therefore..." Is he just being silly or how can he deduce that from the 'I'?>
*[[Clannad:SEEN2419]]
**Line 0000, <Sunohara appeared after first period ended, so the tense should reflect this.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2421]]
**Line 0038, <This line should be the same tense as line 39.> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0069, <There's and was should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0105, <"They made a bitter smile" sounds weird - maybe "They smiled bitterly"? Also, who are they bidding farewell?> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0174, <showed, pretend, and doesn't should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0229, <called and we're should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0385, <tumbles and started should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0395, <arrive and rang should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2426]]
**Line 0031, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0033, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3416]]
**Line 0081, <talked should be the same tense as walk> --[[User:A|A]] 13:04, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3424]]
**Line 0010, <Although the sentence is grammatically correct, I recommend changing it to "She stares at me with her hands on her hips."> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0191, <left and move should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0401, <says and showed should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]] === *Checked*
**Line 0112, I can't quite put my finger on why, but this sentence needs to be reworded. --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6421]]
**Line 0168, <First part of the sentence should happen before or at the same time as the second.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0181, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0423, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6422]]
**Line 0403, <Fuuko should use third person, right? This also applies to lines 405-408.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0558, <Check that revision is still correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0763, <Have should be had so that it matches the tense of the rest of the clause> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0816, <Sentence should be one tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6423]]
**Line 0325, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6425]]
**Line 0296, <Should this be "Just let him go"?> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6426]]
**Line 0268, <Check that revision is correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0470, <"Stepped out" sounds awkward> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6427]]
**Line 0086, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0199, <Should this be "that big of an accomplishment"?> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0400, <Needs clarification (What does 'a notes' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0434, <Needs clarification (What does 'please tuck in' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0462, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0465, <pressed, reads, and packs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0499, <See line 400> --[[User:A|A]]
**Line 0540, <See line 434> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6726]]
**Line 0116, <Check that revision is correct ("for that" seems redundant)> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6727]]
**Line 0118, <what is plotters supposed to mean?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6729]]
**Line 0268, <Should this be "Furukawa Bakery's land mine"?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1417]]
**Line 0087, <Wording doesn't suggest scoring. If the wording is changed, 0088 will have to be changed to agree.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <Wouldn't "seriously" fit better when it's modifying "hurt" instead of "get"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0119, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0121, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0129, <Comma splice. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1418]]
**Line 0034, <Is "grab a hold" a common saying? Suggesting removing "a hold of".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <What does "Tonbi." mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0061, <What is "Hyo~ hyororo~"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What does "hold it just in front of her" mean? Will it mean the same thing if "just" is taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1421]]
**Line 0004, <Comma splice. Recommending either splitting the sentence into two sentences or using a semicolon.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <Wouldn't "turn a corner" be better than "turn to a corner"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0057, <We need to change the past tense, since she's still remembering it. How about, "She's remembering" or "She remembers"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0079, <"make with" would fit better than "do about"> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0118, <The pronouns are confusing. The sentence needs to point out that he's talking about the starfish.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1422]]
**Line 0016, <Fuuko's trying to do something or make something that people will be happy with?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0017, <If line 0016 is supposed to be "make", then this line should be changed to reflect that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0051, <Would "it's got to be her" work better as "it has to be her"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <The current sentence says that he's stretching a wooden starfish. Needs revision/rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0067, <Previous and this sentence start with "But". Can we get rid of this one?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1423]]
**Line 0003, <What does "poking in the doorway" mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0020, <What does this line mean? Also, is this supposed to be redundant with 0021?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0032, <Why would he say, "This is amusing" and follow with, "Go away"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0036, <Sentence has odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0039, <Since Fuuko uses "Strange Person" as a name, why don't we keep that in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0065, <Need translator check, since alt and original are very different.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0066, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0073, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0074, <Where did "earlobes" come from?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0192, <Would it work if "that sort of person doesn't exist." was changed to "doesn't exist."? Also, recommending that "person" is changed to "people" to match the next line.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0253, <Sentence has odd phrasing> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1426]]
**Line 0029, <Maybe we should add a subject to this sentence.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "I wonder what sort of things would be good to talk about?" - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0040, <How can the rustling of something be still? It isn't rustling then.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "The noises in the corridor ceased." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0132, <The end of the sentence seems to be missing something. Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "She began speaking as though it were difficult for her to say." (Wrong Tense) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0142, <"So are you quitting?" seems inappropriate for this situation.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Not sure what to say for this one... I'd would've said 'bailing' but Nagisa wouldn't say that :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]]
**Line 0149, <Nagisa didn't skip a grade. She was held back.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "Having had repeated a grade, she only thought of herself as a nuisance." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0188, <Needs to be present tense, but "knew" is messing me up.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Tense seems correct, leaving it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0212, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Replaced with “But, when I next get a chance to talk with you for a while..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0243, <The way it's phrased implies that Furukawa calls Ibuki over, but Ibuki calls Furukawa over.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** The line is grammatically correct, it has more of a neutral implication/no implication. It is worded a little awkwardly, but I can't offer a better alternative. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0249, <Why do I feel that "them" needs to be "it"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I'm leaning towards 'it' as well, but I dunno really :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0346, <She's still thinking that, so shouldn't it be, "I'm always..."?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I'm always thinking about that." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0369, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Basically they intend to return at another time. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0395, <Why does he wonder that if it's already been told to him?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I guess they never told anyone but the sleeping Fuuko..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0467, <Is 'I' supposed to be 'I'd'? He didn't laugh in the past, but it's awkward in the present tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** "Laugh" should be "answer/reply". Fixed with "So, that's how I replied." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0662, <Would it be better if "if" were replaced with "when"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I think 'when' is better (a tad less accurate though?) Replaced with "Even if you get treated like that, you're still angry..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0820, <He pokes her head, but Nagisa says "hit".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** That's Nagisa mistaking Tomoya's little prod ;) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0834, <Don't understand this sentence. Fuuko wouldn't be lying if she says her last name is Ibuki.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Apparently "Ghost Fuuko"'s name is "Isogai Fuuko"? Really unsure on this one. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0873, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I feel it needs revision, I have no better alternative though. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0414]]
**Line 0045, <The guidelines say that this is supposed to be in the present tense, yet DG1's comment says that the original Japanese line is in the past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0046, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 is definitely past tense, we should leave it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0076, <Does Tomoya say this during the lesson or after the lesson? If during, lines 0077 and 0078 should be in the present tense. If after, "has" should be "had".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***I can definitely see where you're coming from, but the tenses in the lines now are correct, even if 0076 itself sounds a bit weird. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0097, <One part of the sentence is in the past tense and the other is in the present tense. Is he still reflecting or commenting on what should be done now?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 fixed with "It would've been better if he had just completely ignored me." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0127, <Can "that" be changed with "them"? The current line could either read as, "I can't afford headphones" or "I can't afford to listen to headphones." "them" would be more precise.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The line is saying he doesn't have stuff that valuable, I think the current line is a good fit between literal meaning and readability. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0166, <Alts. suggest that Tomoya means "At the time of graduation," but the current line doesn't convey that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The original Japanese line doesn't convey it, it only says "Well, only that time." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0415]]
**Line 0071, <Hip-hop isn't a noun.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0099, <What's the past tense for "spit"? The sentence should be in past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0124, <What is "There" referring to? I think it's referring to the "original", in which case "There isn't!" should be 'It wasn't!'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0156, <This is translated differently than 0303, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0169, <"That's right" doesn't make sense in this context, does it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0202, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0219, <This is translated differently than 0366, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0244, <This is translated differently than 0389, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Shouldn't it be, "No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't... or something like that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0301, <"then" disrupts the sentence. We need it to read like Dickens wrote it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0303, <This is translated differently than 0156, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0316, <See 0169.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0349, <See 0202.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0366, <This is translated differently than 0219, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0389, <This is translated differently than 0244, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0412, <See 0267.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0551, <This line doesn't make sense. It makes the most sense if it's what happens if Tomoya decides not to visit Nagisa, but then "when" should be "if", "approached" should be "approach", and "was" should be "would be" or "would seem".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0562, <Probably supposed to be one sentence, and what does it mean by, "worrying about your junior"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0597, <Sentence doesn't agree with discussion. Discussion places it as recent but sentence says, "Just a while ago".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0864, <Uses present tense, but he isn't asking right now. Should be, "You'll ask", but I'm not completely sure.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0416]]
**Line 0084, <Not sure if this should be past tense. He thought that when they first met in the past, right?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0151, <Tense? Also, does anyone agree that "topic" should be plural because of "all"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0157, <Either take out "had" or change it to "has", depending on the context.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Either means, "If I leave out lunch, I'm in the dormitory the entire time." or "If I don't eat lunch, I'll be in the dormitory the entire time."> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0203, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0268, <Inconsistent with 0606.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <Inconsistent with 0619.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <"Beside" is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0606, <Inconsistent with 0268.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0619, <Inconsistent with 0281.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0641, <Agree with Delwack.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0656, <Is this supposed to signify that afternoon classes and homeroom have ended?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <See 0656.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0728, <Doesn't agree with alts.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0729, <Japanese text uses a comma, not an ellipsis.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0731, <Japanese text uses an ellipsis, not a comma.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0417]]
**Line 0142, <"Nobody" is singular, and "they" is plural.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Same as 0142.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0372, <Shouldn't "that" be "if"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0534, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0540, <"also leave"? With who?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0564, <"usual thing as always" is redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, <"be" doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0611, <"gets" seems unnecessary.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0650, <"myself as well" is redundant, because "myself" makes "as well" implied.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1427]]
**Line 0055, <Translator asked for a TL check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <"can hear is that of Fuuko carving." is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <"In the middle of this, Fuuko's carving is the only noise I can hear."> Original: "In the middle of that, the only noise I can her is that of Fuuko carving." --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0085, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <It does seem they are improving. Their shapes aren't bad.>. Pluralized the second sentence to agree with the first.
**Line 0086, <Tense inconsistency.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0106, <Question with word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Replaced 'be' with 'mean'. --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0143, <Asterisk'ed.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0143> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0189, <Can we change or omit, "In return"? It makes the sentence seem redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0212, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0233, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0273, <Shouldn't this be in the present tense?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <See 0273.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <How can you quietly gaze at the floor and say something at the same time?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0297, <Popular?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0354, <Same as 0297.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0364, <Without who knowing it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0397, <'Could' is the past tense of 'can'. Should 'could' be replaced with 'can'? It doesn't sound right, but....> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:55, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0398, <Quiet conversation?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1428]]
**Line 0023, <Phrased ambiguously.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0026, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0088, <Shouldn't we add some apostrophes in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0140, <Might need to be rephrased.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0299, <Should the two 'it' be changed to them?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0311, <Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0344, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0848, <Can we switch around the clauses, so the reader has context before we describe the person?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0889, <It would make more sense if the clauses are switched around.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 1093, <"Since a while" sounds odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1429]]
**Line 0045, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <Doesn't suggest asking.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0120, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0138, <Translation check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0295, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0336, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0348, <Same 0336.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1430]]
**Line 0055, <Confusing phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0117, <Same 0055.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0358, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0488, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1501]]
**Line 0171, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0230, <The original and new wordings have different meanings.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0283, <The transition is shaky. Why is it, "That's the idea"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0307, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0318, <Alternate is completely different from original.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0321, <It might just be me, but this sentence is weird.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1502]]
**Line 0079, <Original's meaning is different from alternate's.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0142, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0145, <"Break off from him"? Could be phrased better.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0148, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0164, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0170, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <Compare original and alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0278, <Would 'if' be more clear if it were replaced with 'as long as'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1503]]
**Line 0006, <'Round and round' is an uncommon expression. 'Around' is more common.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0018, <Is "aren't I good" slang? Rearranged, it makes, "I aren't good?" I can't think of a better replacement, though.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0022, <Alt. and original translations mean different things.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <'Obvious' doesn't fit, because 'obvious' and 'new' aren't related.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <Poorly worded. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <'Should have been' or 'should be'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <'Around' is implied in this sentence and is unneeded.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0484, <Would 'treating' be a better replacement with 'how to treat'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1504]]
**Line 0072, <Can this be phrased better? The second part is unclear.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0075, <Can 'vacation' be taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0092, <This is phrased awkwardly.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <"How painful the days" is missing a verb.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1505]]
**Line 0073, <'Advocating' doesn't seem right. [advocate: To speak, plead, or argue in favor of. See Synonyms at support. | thefreedictionary.com]> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What's a 'demihuman'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0098, <Either change 'be,' to 'be?' or replace with alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1506]]
**Line 0092, <Can this be rephrased so it doesn't have 'such that'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <Is this 'any more uneasy' or 'uneasy anymore'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1507]]
**Line 0018, <This line seems odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <What's 'Peering out his eyes' mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0114, <'turned on'? Is this really the right phrase?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1511]]
**Line 0101, <Would Tomoya say that, or would Fuuko say that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0105, <This doesn't really make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0183, <Are this and 0184 supposed to coordinate with 0101?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0218, <Is 'bad' correct? It's followed by 'late', so...> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0276, <Cutting?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0362, <Sentence is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <Are the pronouns like this in the Japanese version? Too many "she"s.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0469, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0585, <Is he saying, 'I had never thought of any of my teachers as beautiful.' or 'I didn't have any beautiful teachers.'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <What does the tip of her nose have to do with her breathing?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0676, <'Take care of her' followed by 'Not at all'.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0692, <Same as 0676.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <Odd phrasing. I don't understand it enough to rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1513]]
**Line 0012, <Odd phrasing. I can't understand what it's saying, so I can't rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1515]]
**Line 0081, <The first clause is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0161, <This is phrased oddly. 'Crossed by'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1516]]
**Line 0001, <The line seems like it's saying the wedding is that day.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0224, <'Gah' doesn't seem to fit.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4415]]
**Line 0107, <He already knew he was skipping class, so wouldn't it be, "remember"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:57, 28 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]]
**Line 0188, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:57, 20 August 2008 (PDT)

You may return to the main page [[Clannad|here]].

Category:ClannadCleanup

2008-11-02T13:53:59Z

ZeForte:

The following pages have been marked for cleanup. See [[Template:Clannad:Cleanup]] for more information.

== Files To be TL Checked ==
'''Translators, please pass over the list of files here and mark when it's done. Thanks.
*[[Clannad:SEEN6801]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6802]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6803]]

== Files to be reviewed ==
Editors, please enter here any SEEN files that you feel you would like to change tense for, but have no idea if it will affect Japanese meaning. A Translator will look over your change and approve it if it is deemed acceptable. Format is the following:

<pre>
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
</pre>

*[[Clannad:SEEN2415]]
**Line 0075, <Sounds weird; is the double negation needed?>
*[[Clannad:SEEN2419]]
**Line 0000, <Sunohara appeared after first period ended, so the tense should reflect this.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2421]]
**Line 0038, <This line should be the same tense as line 39.> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0069, <There's and was should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0105, <"They made a bitter smile" sounds weird - maybe "They smiled bitterly"? Also, who are they bidding farewell?> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0174, <showed, pretend, and doesn't should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0229, <called and we're should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0385, <tumbles and started should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0395, <arrive and rang should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2426]]
**Line 0031, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0033, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3416]]
**Line 0081, <talked should be the same tense as walk> --[[User:A|A]] 13:04, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3424]]
**Line 0010, <Although the sentence is grammatically correct, I recommend changing it to "She stares at me with her hands on her hips."> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0191, <left and move should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0401, <says and showed should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]] === *Checked*
**Line 0112, I can't quite put my finger on why, but this sentence needs to be reworded. --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6421]]
**Line 0168, <First part of the sentence should happen before or at the same time as the second.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0181, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0423, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6422]]
**Line 0403, <Fuuko should use third person, right? This also applies to lines 405-408.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0558, <Check that revision is still correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0763, <Have should be had so that it matches the tense of the rest of the clause> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0816, <Sentence should be one tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6423]]
**Line 0325, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6425]]
**Line 0296, <Should this be "Just let him go"?> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6426]]
**Line 0268, <Check that revision is correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0470, <"Stepped out" sounds awkward> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6427]]
**Line 0086, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0199, <Should this be "that big of an accomplishment"?> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0400, <Needs clarification (What does 'a notes' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0434, <Needs clarification (What does 'please tuck in' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0462, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0465, <pressed, reads, and packs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0499, <See line 400> --[[User:A|A]]
**Line 0540, <See line 434> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6726]]
**Line 0116, <Check that revision is correct ("for that" seems redundant)> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6727]]
**Line 0118, <what is plotters supposed to mean?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6729]]
**Line 0268, <Should this be "Furukawa Bakery's land mine"?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1417]]
**Line 0087, <Wording doesn't suggest scoring. If the wording is changed, 0088 will have to be changed to agree.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <Wouldn't "seriously" fit better when it's modifying "hurt" instead of "get"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0119, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0121, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0129, <Comma splice. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1418]]
**Line 0034, <Is "grab a hold" a common saying? Suggesting removing "a hold of".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <What does "Tonbi." mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0061, <What is "Hyo~ hyororo~"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What does "hold it just in front of her" mean? Will it mean the same thing if "just" is taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1421]]
**Line 0004, <Comma splice. Recommending either splitting the sentence into two sentences or using a semicolon.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <Wouldn't "turn a corner" be better than "turn to a corner"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0057, <We need to change the past tense, since she's still remembering it. How about, "She's remembering" or "She remembers"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0079, <"make with" would fit better than "do about"> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0118, <The pronouns are confusing. The sentence needs to point out that he's talking about the starfish.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1422]]
**Line 0016, <Fuuko's trying to do something or make something that people will be happy with?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0017, <If line 0016 is supposed to be "make", then this line should be changed to reflect that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0051, <Would "it's got to be her" work better as "it has to be her"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <The current sentence says that he's stretching a wooden starfish. Needs revision/rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0067, <Previous and this sentence start with "But". Can we get rid of this one?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1423]]
**Line 0003, <What does "poking in the doorway" mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0020, <What does this line mean? Also, is this supposed to be redundant with 0021?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0032, <Why would he say, "This is amusing" and follow with, "Go away"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0036, <Sentence has odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0039, <Since Fuuko uses "Strange Person" as a name, why don't we keep that in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0065, <Need translator check, since alt and original are very different.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0066, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0073, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0074, <Where did "earlobes" come from?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0192, <Would it work if "that sort of person doesn't exist." was changed to "doesn't exist."? Also, recommending that "person" is changed to "people" to match the next line.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0253, <Sentence has odd phrasing> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1426]]
**Line 0029, <Maybe we should add a subject to this sentence.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "I wonder what sort of things would be good to talk about?" - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0040, <How can the rustling of something be still? It isn't rustling then.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "The noises in the corridor ceased." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0132, <The end of the sentence seems to be missing something. Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "She began speaking as though it were difficult for her to say." (Wrong Tense) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0142, <"So are you quitting?" seems inappropriate for this situation.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Not sure what to say for this one... I'd would've said 'bailing' but Nagisa wouldn't say that :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]]
**Line 0149, <Nagisa didn't skip a grade. She was held back.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "Having had repeated a grade, she only thought of herself as a nuisance." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0188, <Needs to be present tense, but "knew" is messing me up.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Tense seems correct, leaving it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0212, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Replaced with “But, when I next get a chance to talk with you for a while..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0243, <The way it's phrased implies that Furukawa calls Ibuki over, but Ibuki calls Furukawa over.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** The line is grammatically correct, it has more of a neutral implication/no implication. It is worded a little awkwardly, but I can't offer a better alternative. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0249, <Why do I feel that "them" needs to be "it"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I'm leaning towards 'it' as well, but I dunno really :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0346, <She's still thinking that, so shouldn't it be, "I'm always..."?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I'm always thinking about that." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0369, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Basically they intend to return at another time. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0395, <Why does he wonder that if it's already been told to him?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I guess they never told anyone but the sleeping Fuuko..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0467, <Is 'I' supposed to be 'I'd'? He didn't laugh in the past, but it's awkward in the present tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** "Laugh" should be "answer/reply". Fixed with "So, that's how I replied." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0662, <Would it be better if "if" were replaced with "when"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I think 'when' is better (a tad less accurate though?) Replaced with "Even if you get treated like that, you're still angry..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0820, <He pokes her head, but Nagisa says "hit".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** That's Nagisa mistaking Tomoya's little prod ;) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0834, <Don't understand this sentence. Fuuko wouldn't be lying if she says her last name is Ibuki.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Apparently "Ghost Fuuko"'s name is "Isogai Fuuko"? Really unsure on this one. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0873, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I feel it needs revision, I have no better alternative though. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0414]]
**Line 0045, <The guidelines say that this is supposed to be in the present tense, yet DG1's comment says that the original Japanese line is in the past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0046, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 is definitely past tense, we should leave it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0076, <Does Tomoya say this during the lesson or after the lesson? If during, lines 0077 and 0078 should be in the present tense. If after, "has" should be "had".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***I can definitely see where you're coming from, but the tenses in the lines now are correct, even if 0076 itself sounds a bit weird. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0097, <One part of the sentence is in the past tense and the other is in the present tense. Is he still reflecting or commenting on what should be done now?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 fixed with "It would've been better if he had just completely ignored me." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0127, <Can "that" be changed with "them"? The current line could either read as, "I can't afford headphones" or "I can't afford to listen to headphones." "them" would be more precise.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The line is saying he doesn't have stuff that valuable, I think the current line is a good fit between literal meaning and readability. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0166, <Alts. suggest that Tomoya means "At the time of graduation," but the current line doesn't convey that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The original Japanese line doesn't convey it, it only says "Well, only that time." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0415]]
**Line 0071, <Hip-hop isn't a noun.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0099, <What's the past tense for "spit"? The sentence should be in past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0124, <What is "There" referring to? I think it's referring to the "original", in which case "There isn't!" should be 'It wasn't!'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0156, <This is translated differently than 0303, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0169, <"That's right" doesn't make sense in this context, does it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0202, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0219, <This is translated differently than 0366, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0244, <This is translated differently than 0389, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Shouldn't it be, "No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't... or something like that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0301, <"then" disrupts the sentence. We need it to read like Dickens wrote it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0303, <This is translated differently than 0156, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0316, <See 0169.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0349, <See 0202.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0366, <This is translated differently than 0219, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0389, <This is translated differently than 0244, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0412, <See 0267.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0551, <This line doesn't make sense. It makes the most sense if it's what happens if Tomoya decides not to visit Nagisa, but then "when" should be "if", "approached" should be "approach", and "was" should be "would be" or "would seem".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0562, <Probably supposed to be one sentence, and what does it mean by, "worrying about your junior"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0597, <Sentence doesn't agree with discussion. Discussion places it as recent but sentence says, "Just a while ago".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0864, <Uses present tense, but he isn't asking right now. Should be, "You'll ask", but I'm not completely sure.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0416]]
**Line 0084, <Not sure if this should be past tense. He thought that when they first met in the past, right?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0151, <Tense? Also, does anyone agree that "topic" should be plural because of "all"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0157, <Either take out "had" or change it to "has", depending on the context.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Either means, "If I leave out lunch, I'm in the dormitory the entire time." or "If I don't eat lunch, I'll be in the dormitory the entire time."> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0203, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0268, <Inconsistent with 0606.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <Inconsistent with 0619.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <"Beside" is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0606, <Inconsistent with 0268.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0619, <Inconsistent with 0281.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0641, <Agree with Delwack.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0656, <Is this supposed to signify that afternoon classes and homeroom have ended?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <See 0656.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0728, <Doesn't agree with alts.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0729, <Japanese text uses a comma, not an ellipsis.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0731, <Japanese text uses an ellipsis, not a comma.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0417]]
**Line 0142, <"Nobody" is singular, and "they" is plural.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Same as 0142.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0372, <Shouldn't "that" be "if"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0534, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0540, <"also leave"? With who?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0564, <"usual thing as always" is redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, <"be" doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0611, <"gets" seems unnecessary.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0650, <"myself as well" is redundant, because "myself" makes "as well" implied.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1427]]
**Line 0055, <Translator asked for a TL check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <"can hear is that of Fuuko carving." is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <"In the middle of this, Fuuko's carving is the only noise I can hear."> Original: "In the middle of that, the only noise I can her is that of Fuuko carving." --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0085, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <It does seem they are improving. Their shapes aren't bad.>. Pluralized the second sentence to agree with the first.
**Line 0086, <Tense inconsistency.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0106, <Question with word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Replaced 'be' with 'mean'. --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0143, <Asterisk'ed.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0143> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0189, <Can we change or omit, "In return"? It makes the sentence seem redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0212, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0233, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0273, <Shouldn't this be in the present tense?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <See 0273.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <How can you quietly gaze at the floor and say something at the same time?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0297, <Popular?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0354, <Same as 0297.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0364, <Without who knowing it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0397, <'Could' is the past tense of 'can'. Should 'could' be replaced with 'can'? It doesn't sound right, but....> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:55, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0398, <Quiet conversation?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1428]]
**Line 0023, <Phrased ambiguously.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0026, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0088, <Shouldn't we add some apostrophes in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0140, <Might need to be rephrased.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0299, <Should the two 'it' be changed to them?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0311, <Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0344, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0848, <Can we switch around the clauses, so the reader has context before we describe the person?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0889, <It would make more sense if the clauses are switched around.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 1093, <"Since a while" sounds odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1429]]
**Line 0045, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <Doesn't suggest asking.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0120, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0138, <Translation check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0295, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0336, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0348, <Same 0336.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1430]]
**Line 0055, <Confusing phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0117, <Same 0055.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0358, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0488, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1501]]
**Line 0171, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0230, <The original and new wordings have different meanings.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0283, <The transition is shaky. Why is it, "That's the idea"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0307, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0318, <Alternate is completely different from original.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0321, <It might just be me, but this sentence is weird.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1502]]
**Line 0079, <Original's meaning is different from alternate's.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0142, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0145, <"Break off from him"? Could be phrased better.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0148, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0164, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0170, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <Compare original and alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0278, <Would 'if' be more clear if it were replaced with 'as long as'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1503]]
**Line 0006, <'Round and round' is an uncommon expression. 'Around' is more common.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0018, <Is "aren't I good" slang? Rearranged, it makes, "I aren't good?" I can't think of a better replacement, though.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0022, <Alt. and original translations mean different things.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <'Obvious' doesn't fit, because 'obvious' and 'new' aren't related.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <Poorly worded. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <'Should have been' or 'should be'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <'Around' is implied in this sentence and is unneeded.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0484, <Would 'treating' be a better replacement with 'how to treat'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1504]]
**Line 0072, <Can this be phrased better? The second part is unclear.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0075, <Can 'vacation' be taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0092, <This is phrased awkwardly.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <"How painful the days" is missing a verb.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1505]]
**Line 0073, <'Advocating' doesn't seem right. [advocate: To speak, plead, or argue in favor of. See Synonyms at support. | thefreedictionary.com]> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What's a 'demihuman'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0098, <Either change 'be,' to 'be?' or replace with alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1506]]
**Line 0092, <Can this be rephrased so it doesn't have 'such that'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <Is this 'any more uneasy' or 'uneasy anymore'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1507]]
**Line 0018, <This line seems odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <What's 'Peering out his eyes' mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0114, <'turned on'? Is this really the right phrase?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1511]]
**Line 0101, <Would Tomoya say that, or would Fuuko say that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0105, <This doesn't really make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0183, <Are this and 0184 supposed to coordinate with 0101?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0218, <Is 'bad' correct? It's followed by 'late', so...> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0276, <Cutting?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0362, <Sentence is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <Are the pronouns like this in the Japanese version? Too many "she"s.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0469, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0585, <Is he saying, 'I had never thought of any of my teachers as beautiful.' or 'I didn't have any beautiful teachers.'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <What does the tip of her nose have to do with her breathing?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0676, <'Take care of her' followed by 'Not at all'.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0692, <Same as 0676.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <Odd phrasing. I don't understand it enough to rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1513]]
**Line 0012, <Odd phrasing. I can't understand what it's saying, so I can't rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1515]]
**Line 0081, <The first clause is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0161, <This is phrased oddly. 'Crossed by'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1516]]
**Line 0001, <The line seems like it's saying the wedding is that day.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0224, <'Gah' doesn't seem to fit.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4415]]
**Line 0107, <He already knew he was skipping class, so wouldn't it be, "remember"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:57, 28 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]]
**Line 0188, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:57, 20 August 2008 (PDT)

You may return to the main page [[Clannad|here]].

Category:ClannadCleanup

2008-11-02T13:52:53Z

ZeForte:

The following pages have been marked for cleanup. See [[Template:Clannad:Cleanup]] for more information.

== Files To be TL Checked ==
'''Translators, please pass over the list of files here and mark when it's done. Thanks.
*[[Clannad:SEEN6801]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6802]]
*[[Clannad:SEEN6803]]

== Files to be reviewed ==
Editors, please enter here any SEEN files that you feel you would like to change tense for, but have no idea if it will affect Japanese meaning. A Translator will look over your change and approve it if it is deemed acceptable. Format is the following:

<pre>
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
*[[Clannad:SEENxxxx]]
**Line ####, <insert note here> --~~~~
</pre>

*[[Clannad:SEEN2419]]
**Line 0075, <Sounds weird; is the double negation needed?>
*[[Clannad:SEEN2419]]
**Line 0000, <Sunohara appeared after first period ended, so the tense should reflect this.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2421]]
**Line 0038, <This line should be the same tense as line 39.> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0069, <There's and was should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0105, <"They made a bitter smile" sounds weird - maybe "They smiled bitterly"? Also, who are they bidding farewell?> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0174, <showed, pretend, and doesn't should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0229, <called and we're should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0385, <tumbles and started should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0395, <arrive and rang should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 15:34, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN2426]]
**Line 0031, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0033, <Check that revision is correct> --[[User:A|A]] 23:09, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3416]]
**Line 0081, <talked should be the same tense as walk> --[[User:A|A]] 13:04, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN3424]]
**Line 0010, <Although the sentence is grammatically correct, I recommend changing it to "She stares at me with her hands on her hips."> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0191, <left and move should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0401, <says and showed should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 23:04, 9 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]] === *Checked*
**Line 0112, I can't quite put my finger on why, but this sentence needs to be reworded. --[[User:A|A]] 17:42, 8 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6421]]
**Line 0168, <First part of the sentence should happen before or at the same time as the second.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0181, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0423, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6422]]
**Line 0403, <Fuuko should use third person, right? This also applies to lines 405-408.> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0558, <Check that revision is still correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0763, <Have should be had so that it matches the tense of the rest of the clause> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0816, <Sentence should be one tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6423]]
**Line 0325, <Both verbs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6425]]
**Line 0296, <Should this be "Just let him go"?> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6426]]
**Line 0268, <Check that revision is correct(See history for details)> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
**Line 0470, <"Stepped out" sounds awkward> --[[User:A|A]] 17:19, 7 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6427]]
**Line 0086, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0199, <Should this be "that big of an accomplishment"?> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0400, <Needs clarification (What does 'a notes' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0434, <Needs clarification (What does 'please tuck in' mean?)> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0462, <Needs clarification> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0465, <pressed, reads, and packs should be the same tense> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0499, <See line 400> --[[User:A|A]]
**Line 0540, <See line 434> --[[User:A|A]] 00:09, 11 March 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6726]]
**Line 0116, <Check that revision is correct ("for that" seems redundant)> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6727]]
**Line 0118, <what is plotters supposed to mean?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN6729]]
**Line 0268, <Should this be "Furukawa Bakery's land mine"?> --[[User:A|A]] 19:18, 5 March 2008 (PST)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1417]]
**Line 0087, <Wording doesn't suggest scoring. If the wording is changed, 0088 will have to be changed to agree.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <Wouldn't "seriously" fit better when it's modifying "hurt" instead of "get"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0119, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0121, <It would be better if "do" is replaced with "make".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0129, <Comma splice. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1418]]
**Line 0034, <Is "grab a hold" a common saying? Suggesting removing "a hold of".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <What does "Tonbi." mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0061, <What is "Hyo~ hyororo~"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What does "hold it just in front of her" mean? Will it mean the same thing if "just" is taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:58, 13 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1421]]
**Line 0004, <Comma splice. Recommending either splitting the sentence into two sentences or using a semicolon.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <Wouldn't "turn a corner" be better than "turn to a corner"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0057, <We need to change the past tense, since she's still remembering it. How about, "She's remembering" or "She remembers"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0079, <"make with" would fit better than "do about"> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0118, <The pronouns are confusing. The sentence needs to point out that he's talking about the starfish.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1422]]
**Line 0016, <Fuuko's trying to do something or make something that people will be happy with?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0017, <If line 0016 is supposed to be "make", then this line should be changed to reflect that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0051, <Would "it's got to be her" work better as "it has to be her"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0058, <The current sentence says that he's stretching a wooden starfish. Needs revision/rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0067, <Previous and this sentence start with "But". Can we get rid of this one?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1423]]
**Line 0003, <What does "poking in the doorway" mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0020, <What does this line mean? Also, is this supposed to be redundant with 0021?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0032, <Why would he say, "This is amusing" and follow with, "Go away"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0036, <Sentence has odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0039, <Since Fuuko uses "Strange Person" as a name, why don't we keep that in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0065, <Need translator check, since alt and original are very different.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0066, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0073, <How does, "Don't you have something to say to Fuuko" lead to this? It doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0074, <Where did "earlobes" come from?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0192, <Would it work if "that sort of person doesn't exist." was changed to "doesn't exist."? Also, recommending that "person" is changed to "people" to match the next line.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0253, <Sentence has odd phrasing> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1426]]
**Line 0029, <Maybe we should add a subject to this sentence.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "I wonder what sort of things would be good to talk about?" - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0040, <How can the rustling of something be still? It isn't rustling then.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "The noises in the corridor ceased." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0132, <The end of the sentence seems to be missing something. Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
***Fixed with "She began speaking as though it were difficult for her to say." (Wrong Tense) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0142, <"So are you quitting?" seems inappropriate for this situation.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Not sure what to say for this one... I'd would've said 'bailing' but Nagisa wouldn't say that :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]]
**Line 0149, <Nagisa didn't skip a grade. She was held back.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "Having had repeated a grade, she only thought of herself as a nuisance." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0188, <Needs to be present tense, but "knew" is messing me up.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Tense seems correct, leaving it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0212, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Replaced with “But, when I next get a chance to talk with you for a while..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0243, <The way it's phrased implies that Furukawa calls Ibuki over, but Ibuki calls Furukawa over.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** The line is grammatically correct, it has more of a neutral implication/no implication. It is worded a little awkwardly, but I can't offer a better alternative. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0249, <Why do I feel that "them" needs to be "it"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I'm leaning towards 'it' as well, but I dunno really :P - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0346, <She's still thinking that, so shouldn't it be, "I'm always..."?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I'm always thinking about that." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0369, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Basically they intend to return at another time. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0395, <Why does he wonder that if it's already been told to him?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Fixed with "I guess they never told anyone but the sleeping Fuuko..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0467, <Is 'I' supposed to be 'I'd'? He didn't laugh in the past, but it's awkward in the present tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** "Laugh" should be "answer/reply". Fixed with "So, that's how I replied." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0662, <Would it be better if "if" were replaced with "when"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I think 'when' is better (a tad less accurate though?) Replaced with "Even if you get treated like that, you're still angry..." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0820, <He pokes her head, but Nagisa says "hit".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** That's Nagisa mistaking Tomoya's little prod ;) - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0834, <Don't understand this sentence. Fuuko wouldn't be lying if she says her last name is Ibuki.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** Apparently "Ghost Fuuko"'s name is "Isogai Fuuko"? Really unsure on this one. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0873, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:24, 14 June 2008 (PDT)
*** I feel it needs revision, I have no better alternative though. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0414]]
**Line 0045, <The guidelines say that this is supposed to be in the present tense, yet DG1's comment says that the original Japanese line is in the past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0046, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0047, <The tense of this line depends on the tense of line 0045.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 is definitely past tense, we should leave it. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0076, <Does Tomoya say this during the lesson or after the lesson? If during, lines 0077 and 0078 should be in the present tense. If after, "has" should be "had".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***I can definitely see where you're coming from, but the tenses in the lines now are correct, even if 0076 itself sounds a bit weird. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 17 June 2008
**Line 0097, <One part of the sentence is in the past tense and the other is in the present tense. Is he still reflecting or commenting on what should be done now?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***Line 0045 fixed with "It would've been better if he had just completely ignored me." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0127, <Can "that" be changed with "them"? The current line could either read as, "I can't afford headphones" or "I can't afford to listen to headphones." "them" would be more precise.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The line is saying he doesn't have stuff that valuable, I think the current line is a good fit between literal meaning and readability. - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
**Line 0166, <Alts. suggest that Tomoya means "At the time of graduation," but the current line doesn't convey that.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:54, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
***The original Japanese line doesn't convey it, it only says "Well, only that time." - [[User:Blatt|Blatt]] 18 June 2008
*[[Clannad:SEEN0415]]
**Line 0071, <Hip-hop isn't a noun.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0099, <What's the past tense for "spit"? The sentence should be in past tense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0124, <What is "There" referring to? I think it's referring to the "original", in which case "There isn't!" should be 'It wasn't!'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0156, <This is translated differently than 0303, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0169, <"That's right" doesn't make sense in this context, does it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0202, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0219, <This is translated differently than 0366, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0244, <This is translated differently than 0389, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Shouldn't it be, "No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't... or something like that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0301, <"then" disrupts the sentence. We need it to read like Dickens wrote it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0303, <This is translated differently than 0156, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0316, <See 0169.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0349, <See 0202.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0366, <This is translated differently than 0219, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0389, <This is translated differently than 0244, even if they have the same Japanese text. Consistency problem.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0412, <See 0267.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0551, <This line doesn't make sense. It makes the most sense if it's what happens if Tomoya decides not to visit Nagisa, but then "when" should be "if", "approached" should be "approach", and "was" should be "would be" or "would seem".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0562, <Probably supposed to be one sentence, and what does it mean by, "worrying about your junior"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0597, <Sentence doesn't agree with discussion. Discussion places it as recent but sentence says, "Just a while ago".> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0864, <Uses present tense, but he isn't asking right now. Should be, "You'll ask", but I'm not completely sure.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 14:23, 17 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0416]]
**Line 0084, <Not sure if this should be past tense. He thought that when they first met in the past, right?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0151, <Tense? Also, does anyone agree that "topic" should be plural because of "all"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0157, <Either take out "had" or change it to "has", depending on the context.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Either means, "If I leave out lunch, I'm in the dormitory the entire time." or "If I don't eat lunch, I'll be in the dormitory the entire time."> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0203, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0268, <Inconsistent with 0606.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <Inconsistent with 0619.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <"Beside" is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0606, <Inconsistent with 0268.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0619, <Inconsistent with 0281.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0641, <Agree with Delwack.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0656, <Is this supposed to signify that afternoon classes and homeroom have ended?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <See 0656.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0728, <Doesn't agree with alts.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0729, <Japanese text uses a comma, not an ellipsis.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0731, <Japanese text uses an ellipsis, not a comma.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:49, 18 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN0417]]
**Line 0142, <"Nobody" is singular, and "they" is plural.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0267, <Same as 0142.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0372, <Shouldn't "that" be "if"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0534, <Odd phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0540, <"also leave"? With who?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0564, <"usual thing as always" is redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, <"be" doesn't make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0611, <"gets" seems unnecessary.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0650, <"myself as well" is redundant, because "myself" makes "as well" implied.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 10:54, 23 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1427]]
**Line 0055, <Translator asked for a TL check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <"can hear is that of Fuuko carving." is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <"In the middle of this, Fuuko's carving is the only noise I can hear."> Original: "In the middle of that, the only noise I can her is that of Fuuko carving." --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0085, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Changed to, <It does seem they are improving. Their shapes aren't bad.>. Pluralized the second sentence to agree with the first.
**Line 0086, <Tense inconsistency.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0106, <Question with word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
***Replaced 'be' with 'mean'. --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 09:24, 24 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0143, <Asterisk'ed.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0143> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0189, <Can we change or omit, "In return"? It makes the sentence seem redundant.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0212, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0233, <Awkward phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0273, <Shouldn't this be in the present tense?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <See 0273.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0281, <How can you quietly gaze at the floor and say something at the same time?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0297, <Popular?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0354, <Same as 0297.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0364, <Without who knowing it?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0397, <'Could' is the past tense of 'can'. Should 'could' be replaced with 'can'? It doesn't sound right, but....> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:55, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0398, <Quiet conversation?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:01, 30 June 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1428]]
**Line 0023, <Phrased ambiguously.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0026, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0088, <Shouldn't we add some apostrophes in this sentence?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0140, <Might need to be rephrased.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0299, <Should the two 'it' be changed to them?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0311, <Might need rephrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0344, <Word choice.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0848, <Can we switch around the clauses, so the reader has context before we describe the person?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0889, <It would make more sense if the clauses are switched around.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 1093, <"Since a while" sounds odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:06, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1429]]
**Line 0045, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <Doesn't suggest asking.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0120, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0138, <Translation check.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0295, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0336, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0348, <Same 0336.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 17:32, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1430]]
**Line 0055, <Confusing phrasing.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0117, <Same 0055.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0358, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0488, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0603, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1501]]
**Line 0171, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0230, <The original and new wordings have different meanings.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0283, <The transition is shaky. Why is it, "That's the idea"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0307, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0318, <Alternate is completely different from original.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0321, <It might just be me, but this sentence is weird.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:10, 9 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1502]]
**Line 0079, <Original's meaning is different from alternate's.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0142, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0145, <"Break off from him"? Could be phrased better.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0148, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0164, <Check comments.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0167, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0170, <Same as 0145.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0274, <Compare original and alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0278, <Would 'if' be more clear if it were replaced with 'as long as'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 06:08, 10 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1503]]
**Line 0006, <'Round and round' is an uncommon expression. 'Around' is more common.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0018, <Is "aren't I good" slang? Rearranged, it makes, "I aren't good?" I can't think of a better replacement, though.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0022, <Alt. and original translations mean different things.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0070, <'Obvious' doesn't fit, because 'obvious' and 'new' aren't related.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <Poorly worded. See comment.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0115, <'Should have been' or 'should be'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <'Around' is implied in this sentence and is unneeded.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0484, <Would 'treating' be a better replacement with 'how to treat'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 12:45, 17 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1504]]
**Line 0072, <Can this be phrased better? The second part is unclear.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0075, <Can 'vacation' be taken out?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0092, <This is phrased awkwardly.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0108, <"How painful the days" is missing a verb.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:48, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1505]]
**Line 0073, <'Advocating' doesn't seem right. [advocate: To speak, plead, or argue in favor of. See Synonyms at support. | thefreedictionary.com]> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0094, <What's a 'demihuman'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0098, <Either change 'be,' to 'be?' or replace with alternate.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:02, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1506]]
**Line 0092, <Can this be rephrased so it doesn't have 'such that'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0132, <Is this 'any more uneasy' or 'uneasy anymore'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:38, 19 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1507]]
**Line 0018, <This line seems odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0109, <What's 'Peering out his eyes' mean?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0114, <'turned on'? Is this really the right phrase?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 16:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1511]]
**Line 0101, <Would Tomoya say that, or would Fuuko say that?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0105, <This doesn't really make sense.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0183, <Are this and 0184 supposed to coordinate with 0101?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0218, <Is 'bad' correct? It's followed by 'late', so...> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0276, <Cutting?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0362, <Sentence is odd.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0422, <Are the pronouns like this in the Japanese version? Too many "she"s.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0469, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0585, <Is he saying, 'I had never thought of any of my teachers as beautiful.' or 'I didn't have any beautiful teachers.'?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0661, <What does the tip of her nose have to do with her breathing?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0676, <'Take care of her' followed by 'Not at all'.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0692, <Same as 0676.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0696, <Odd phrasing. I don't understand it enough to rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:19, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1513]]
**Line 0012, <Odd phrasing. I can't understand what it's saying, so I can't rephrase it.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:58, 20 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1515]]
**Line 0081, <The first clause is awkward.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0161, <This is phrased oddly. 'Crossed by'> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:12, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN1516]]
**Line 0001, <The line seems like it's saying the wedding is that day.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
**Line 0224, <'Gah' doesn't seem to fit.> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 20:44, 21 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4415]]
**Line 0107, <He already knew he was skipping class, so wouldn't it be, "remember"?> --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 19:57, 28 July 2008 (PDT)
*[[Clannad:SEEN4423]]
**Line 0188, --[[User:OceanBlue|OceanBlue]] 18:57, 20 August 2008 (PDT)

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