Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare - Revision history

DarkeKyuubi at 00:08, 31 July 2014

2014-07-31T00:08:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:08, 31 July 2014
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	A moment later, she whispered in a voice that was too loud to be a monologue: "...I wonder if I should consult Mirai-san about Nonomiya-kun..."		A moment later, she whispered in a voice that was too loud to be a monologue: "...I wonder if I should consult Mirai-san about Nonomiya-kun..."

	I almost ~~spit~~ out my black tea.		I almost spat out my black tea.

	"...is that a threat?"		"...is that a threat?"

EusthEnoptEron: Removed unnecessary category.

2014-02-28T15:31:51Z

Removed unnecessary category.

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:31, 28 February 2014
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	}}		}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	~~[[Category:Gekkou]]~~

BladeUnderHeart: some word choice and word order for better "flow", some tense correction

2013-04-14T06:00:24Z

some word choice and word order for better "flow", some tense correction

Show changes

Jonathanasdf: navbar

2011-12-15T02:49:51Z

navbar

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:49, 15 December 2011
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	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{{GekkouNavbar		{{GekkouNavbar
	\| ~~back=~~[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate\|Bitter Chocolate]]		\| [[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate\|Bitter Chocolate]]
	\| ~~forward=~~[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine\|Orange & Wine]]		\| [[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine\|Orange & Wine]]
	}}		}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	[[Category:Gekkou]]		[[Category:Gekkou]]

Jonathanasdf: navbar

2011-12-15T01:09:35Z

navbar

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:09, 15 December 2011
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	<noinclude>		<noinclude>
	{{~~Template:Navigation\|Gekkou~~\|		{{GekkouNavbar
	[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate\|Bitter Chocolate]]\|		\| back=[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Bitter Chocolate\|Bitter Chocolate]]
	[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine\|Orange & Wine]]}}		\| forward=[[Gekkou:Volume 1 Orange & Wine\|Orange & Wine]]
			}}
	</noinclude>		</noinclude>

	[[Category:Gekkou]]		[[Category:Gekkou]]

Andrewgr: correct form

2011-10-26T22:31:16Z

correct form

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:31, 26 October 2011
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	At that moment, Tsukimori uttered a suppressed moan and writhed, still straddling me.		At that moment, Tsukimori uttered a suppressed moan and writhed, still straddling me.

	It was smashing. My rationality was entirely blown away by her ~~unexpected~~ sensitive reaction.		It was smashing. My rationality was entirely blown away by her unexpectedly sensitive reaction.

	Letting my instincts take over, I swapped places and sat astride her. I laid one hand on the white nape of her neck and traced her lush red lips with my fingers. I inhaled her intensive flowery scent, kissed her collarbone and put my knee between her thighs.		Letting my instincts take over, I swapped places and sat astride her. I laid one hand on the white nape of her neck and traced her lush red lips with my fingers. I inhaled her intensive flowery scent, kissed her collarbone and put my knee between her thighs.

Andrewgr: reads better

2011-10-26T22:28:33Z

reads better

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:28, 26 October 2011
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	"I feel honored, but I have no such intentions!"		"I feel honored, but I have no such intentions!"

	However, unlike ~~that~~ Nonomiya in that hypothetical world, the real one bore up against her. Because, much more than I was hoping for an alluring development, I was scared.		However, unlike the Nonomiya in that hypothetical world, the real one bore up against her. Because, much more than I was hoping for an alluring development, I was scared.

	It was wariness that sustained my rationality.		It was wariness that sustained my rationality.

Andrewgr: "world of assumptions" doesn't really make sense

2011-10-26T22:27:23Z

"world of assumptions" doesn't really make sense

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:27, 26 October 2011
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	"I feel honored, but I have no such intentions!"		"I feel honored, but I have no such intentions!"

	However, unlike that Nonomiya in ~~the~~ world ~~of assumptions~~, the real one bore up against her. Because, much more than I was hoping for an alluring development, I was scared.		However, unlike that Nonomiya in that hypothetical world, the real one bore up against her. Because, much more than I was hoping for an alluring development, I was scared.

	It was wariness that sustained my rationality.		It was wariness that sustained my rationality.

Andrewgr: flows better

2011-10-26T22:24:47Z

flows better

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:24, 26 October 2011
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	"That makes thirty minutes from now, huh."		"That makes thirty minutes from now, huh."

	I was starting to feel uncomfortable sharing the same time and room just by the two of us, but I was willing to bear up another half an hour and lay back in the sofa.		I was starting to feel uncomfortable sharing the same time and room, just the two of us, but I was willing to bear up another half an hour and lay back in the sofa.

	Tsukimori murmured, "Well, twenty-four hours from now, to be exact."		Tsukimori murmured, "Well, twenty-four hours from now, to be exact."

Andrewgr: could also be rephrased as "It certainly rubbed me the wrong way that her plan had succeeded." The original phrasing combines the two and can't be parsed correctly.

2011-10-26T22:17:52Z

could also be rephrased as "It certainly rubbed me the wrong way that her plan had succeeded." The original phrasing combines the two and can't be parsed correctly.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:17, 26 October 2011
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	I knew it would be a pain if anyone got wind of that visit. If, on top of that, the guys at school learned that no one else had been in the house at the time, the rumors that might emerge from it exceeded my imagination<!--würde es das ganze nicht interessant machen? zu gucken wie weit die gerüchte gehen?--><!-- Das Problem ist, dass das Zentrum der Gerüchte er wäre, es also nicht von aussen beobachten kann :p -->. Especially in Kamogawa's case... I didn't even want to think about it.		I knew it would be a pain if anyone got wind of that visit. If, on top of that, the guys at school learned that no one else had been in the house at the time, the rumors that might emerge from it exceeded my imagination<!--würde es das ganze nicht interessant machen? zu gucken wie weit die gerüchte gehen?--><!-- Das Problem ist, dass das Zentrum der Gerüchte er wäre, es also nicht von aussen beobachten kann :p -->. Especially in Kamogawa's case... I didn't even want to think about it.

	By now I was sure everything had been an act of hers to make me enter her house. It certainly ~~rubbed~~ me the wrong way if her plan succeeded.		By now I was sure everything had been an act of hers to make me enter her house. It would certainly rub me the wrong way if her plan succeeded.

	"Good idea. I'm pretty thirsty; can I come in for a drink?"		"Good idea. I'm pretty thirsty; can I come in for a drink?"