Golden Time:Volume4 Chapter4 - Revision history

L.kostas: /* Chapter 4 */ a correction

2015-07-30T04:40:22Z

Chapter 4: a correction

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:40, 30 July 2015
Line 731:		Line 731:
	Stepping carefully over all that, he stuffed his feet into his sandals.		Stepping carefully over all that, he stuffed his feet into his sandals.

	"Banriii! Hurryyy!" He could the voice calling him by name.		"Banriii! Hurryyy!" He could hear the voice calling him by name.

Rpapo: Pages 210-212 done. Chapter 4 complete. Volume 4 complete.

2015-07-28T15:45:11Z

Pages 210-212 done. Chapter 4 complete. Volume 4 complete.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 680: / Line 679: @@
-<nowiki><~88% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 30 of 34 pages -->
+"...You're posing again!  I told you not to do it, it doesn't look natural!"
 <noinclude>

Rpapo: Pages 208 & 209 done.

2015-07-22T16:33:38Z

Pages 208 & 209 done.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=82}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=88}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 634: / Line 634: @@
 Joking as usual, he gave Linda a soft punch in the side.  Acting as if they were going back to messing around, he said, "Enough!  Let's go home!"
-<nowiki><~82% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 28 of 34 pages -->
+If those words were a hasty reaction, then Linda, to me...
 <noinclude>

Rpapo: Pages 206 & 207 done.

2015-07-20T18:11:16Z

Pages 206 & 207 done.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=76}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=82}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 585: / Line 585: @@
-<span style="font-size: 300%;"><center>* * *</center></span>
+"...Jeez.  What kind of face are you making!?"
-<nowiki><~76% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 26 of 34 pages -->
+<nowiki><~82% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 28 of 34 pages -->
 <noinclude>

Rpapo: Pages 204 & 205 done.

2015-07-17T11:10:44Z

Pages 204 & 205 done.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=71}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=76}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 542: / Line 542: @@
 The remnants of his feelings towards Linda that were brought back to life that night, they really were of the substance that formed the human called Tada Banri.  It was clearly part of himself.  It was flesh.
-<nowiki><~71% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 24 of 34 pages -->
+Before his eyes, the face of the person he loved before.
 <noinclude>

Rpapo: Pages 202 & 203 done.

2015-07-08T11:09:44Z

Pages 202 & 203 done.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=65}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=71}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 500: / Line 500: @@
 In front of Linda, Banri hung his head, powerless.
-<nowiki><~~65% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 22 of 34 pages -->
+(No way!)
 <noinclude>

L.kostas: a few corrections

2015-07-04T05:41:15Z

a few corrections

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:41, 4 July 2015
Line 426:		Line 426:
	"Well, umm, well... lots of stuff."		"Well, umm, well... lots of stuff."

	This morning he'd sent a message Linda: "About yesterday, there are a few things I'd like to talk about, so would it be all right if I met you at your place?" And then Banri, by himself, had gone to the town where Linda lived.		This morning he'd sent a message to Linda: "About yesterday, there are a few things I'd like to talk about, so would it be all right if I met you at your place?" And then Banri, by himself, had gone to the town where Linda lived.

	Transfering at the first station, he took the first train. And then, he went inside the first station. He was meeting Linda in a place he wasn't familiar with, with only one lonely little shop there.		Transfering at the first station, he took the first train. And then, he went inside the first station. He was meeting Linda in a place he wasn't familiar with, with only one lonely little shop there.
Line 436:		Line 436:
	"There aren't any stores around here. ...It can't be helped, shall we walk?"		"There aren't any stores around here. ...It can't be helped, shall we walk?"

	Linda turned towards sign for the north entrance. She went down the stairs and Banri followed behind. Descending from the raised structure and exiting the turnstiles, he got his first view of the town.		Linda turned towards the sign for the north entrance. She went down the stairs and Banri followed behind. Descending from the raised structure and exiting the turnstiles, he got his first view of the town.

	The small station was alongside a private rail line.		The small station was alongside a private rail line.
Line 442:		Line 442:
	Thinking back on when he was in the train, it was very much the countryside. It was really hard for him to believe that this, too, was Tokyo. Banri wondered if it was because it was much further from the city center than where he lived, with the ‘hustle and bustle' of an impersonal residential area, but then there was that faintly manure smell that hung in the air. Perhaps he was close to some farm fields. Banri found it surprising, but he missed that a little. Even by himself like this, it felt like something he missed: <span class="plainlinks">[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shimada,_Shizuoka Shimada Town]</span> and home, the smell of tea plantations stretching all the way to the forests on the mountain slopes, faintly mixed with that of gasoline and machine oil, just like back home.		Thinking back on when he was in the train, it was very much the countryside. It was really hard for him to believe that this, too, was Tokyo. Banri wondered if it was because it was much further from the city center than where he lived, with the ‘hustle and bustle' of an impersonal residential area, but then there was that faintly manure smell that hung in the air. Perhaps he was close to some farm fields. Banri found it surprising, but he missed that a little. Even by himself like this, it felt like something he missed: <span class="plainlinks">[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shimada,_Shizuoka Shimada Town]</span> and home, the smell of tea plantations stretching all the way to the forests on the mountain slopes, faintly mixed with that of gasoline and machine oil, just like back home.

	While they looked around ~~restlesssly~~, they came out from under the eaves of the station. Suddenly and spontaneously they both shouted out loud. The intense, violent sunlight of full summer rushed down over their entire bodies like a flame.		While they looked around restlessly, they came out from under the eaves of the station. Suddenly and spontaneously they both shouted out loud. The intense, violent sunlight of full summer rushed down over their entire bodies like a flame.

	Without tall buildings, the sky was broad, and right in front of the station was a row of single houses. They certainly didn't seem adequate to be stores.		Without tall buildings, the sky was broad, and right in front of the station was a row of single houses. They certainly didn't seem adequate to be stores.

Rpapo: Pages 198-201 done. Something's screwy with this wiki...

2015-07-01T13:06:11Z

Pages 198-201 done. Something's screwy with this wiki...

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=59}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=65}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 414: / Line 414: @@
 As she approached, out of breath, she brought both hands together in front of her where he could see them.  And then,
-"I was drunk last night, really!  What am I going to do already...  I got Kouko-chan mad, and I can't blame her...  really, I'm seriously... the worst..."
+"I was drunk last night, really!  What am I going to do already... I got Kouko-chan mad, and I can't blame her... really, I'm seriously... the worst..."
 Still looking down as hard as she could, she hung her head as if heartbroken.  Shaking his head as he stepped towards her, the flustered Banri,
@@ Line 450: / Line 450: @@
 Undergrowth hiding its banks, the river flowed full.
-<nowiki><~~59% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 20 of 34 pages -->
+At the riverbank in the middle of the day, there were the shapes of people scattered here and there.  People walking their dogs.  People taking their kids for a walk.  There were people jogging, and old people deep in conversation.  Every last one of them was wearing a hat or carrying an umbrella, protecting themselves from the July sunlight.
 <noinclude>
@@ Line 458: / Line 508: @@
 | Back to [[Golden Time:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
 | Return to [[Golden Time#Volume 4: Don't Look Back|Main Page]]
 |-
 |}

Rpapo: Undo revision 448991 by Rpapo (talk)

2015-07-01T12:50:52Z

Undo revision 448991 by Rpapo (talk)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=53}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=59}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 402: / Line 402: @@
 With his thumb, he gently traced his own smile.  The laughing Linda next to him, this time, was loved to death.  ...That, by me.
-He felt certain.  That was me.
+''I feel sure.  That was me,'' he said to himself.
 Gently putting the photo away in his bag's pocket, he raised his healed face and,
@@ Line 412: / Line 412: @@
 "You waited?  I mean... I mean... really!  Sorry!  Sorry about that!"
-While she approached, out of breath, she showed both hands at once.  And then,
+As she approached, out of breath, she brought both hands together in front of her where he could see them.  And then,
-<nowiki><~~53% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 18 of 34 pages -->
+Still looking down as hard as she could, she hung her head as if heartbroken.  Shaking his head as he stepped towards her, the flustered Banri,
 <noinclude>
@@ Line 422: / Line 458: @@
 | Back to [[Golden Time:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
 | Return to [[Golden Time#Volume 4: Don't Look Back|Main Page]]
 |-
 |}

Rpapo at 17:44, 25 June 2015

2015-06-25T17:44:49Z

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <noinclude>
-{{Incomplete|percentage=59}}
+{{Incomplete|percentage=53}}
 ==Golden Time 4: Chapter 4==
 </noinclude>
@@ Line 402: / Line 402: @@
 With his thumb, he gently traced his own smile.  The laughing Linda next to him, this time, was loved to death.  ...That, by me.
-''I feel sure.  That was me,'' he said to himself.
+He felt certain.  That was me.
 Gently putting the photo away in his bag's pocket, he raised his healed face and,
@@ Line 412: / Line 412: @@
 "You waited?  I mean... I mean... really!  Sorry!  Sorry about that!"
-As she approached, out of breath, she brought both hands together in front of her where he could see them.  And then,
+While she approached, out of breath, she showed both hands at once.  And then,
-Still looking down as hard as she could, she hung her head as if heartbroken.  Shaking his head as he stepped towards her, the flustered Banri,
+<nowiki><~~53% Completed~~></nowiki><!-- 18 of 34 pages -->
 <noinclude>
@@ Line 458: / Line 422: @@
 | Back to [[Golden Time:Volume4 Chapter3|Chapter 3]]
 | Return to [[Golden Time#Volume 4: Don't Look Back|Main Page]]
 |-
 |}