Talk:Clannad:SEEN0414 - Revision history

216.239.88.182: /* */ new section

2009-01-16T01:10:18Z

: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:10, 16 January 2009
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	It seems to me that the general meaning of <0153> (from context) is that Tomoya is suggesting that "we leave this housing unit" or whatever. That's not really conveyed by "go out." But then I don't really know anything other than what would seem to make sense in English. Ignore this if I'm not being useful. Bleh. --[[User:Richard 23\|Richard 23]] 16:37, 30 October 2007 (PDT)		It seems to me that the general meaning of <0153> (from context) is that Tomoya is suggesting that "we leave this housing unit" or whatever. That's not really conveyed by "go out." But then I don't really know anything other than what would seem to make sense in English. Ignore this if I'm not being useful. Bleh. --[[User:Richard 23\|Richard 23]] 16:37, 30 October 2007 (PDT)

			== <0091> ==

			Small nitpick.

			Current translation: <br>
			<0090> But after a certain incident, our relationship changed.<br>
			<0091> He became violent and injured me.<br>

			Reading those two lines and just those two, doesn't it sound like violence and injury was the new relationship, rather than the incident? Something like "It was when he..." or maybe "One day, he..." might be better. --Euphemism

Richard 23: <0153>

2007-10-30T23:37:54Z

<0153>

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:37, 30 October 2007
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	--[[User:Akiha\|Akiha]] 12:29, 22 April 2007 (PDT)		--[[User:Akiha\|Akiha]] 12:29, 22 April 2007 (PDT)

			== <0153> ==

			Current Translation:
			<0152> \{Sunohara} "I'm not on good terms with the residents here these days."
			<0153> \{\m{B}} "So let's go all out right now."
			<0154> \{Sunohara} "We still got a year left!"
			<0155> \{\m{B}} "You really don't have any guts, do you?"

			It seems to me that the general meaning of <0153> (from context) is that Tomoya is suggesting that "we leave this housing unit" or whatever. That's not really conveyed by "go out." But then I don't really know anything other than what would seem to make sense in English. Ignore this if I'm not being useful. Bleh. --[[User:Richard 23\|Richard 23]] 16:37, 30 October 2007 (PDT)

Akiha: /* SEEN0414 and SEEN0415 Line Consistency */

2007-04-22T19:29:05Z

SEEN0414 and SEEN0415 Line Consistency

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:29, 22 April 2007
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	You see the difference with the lines? The first group of sentence is emphasizing that nothing stays the same forever, while the second group is emphasizing that there might be nothing there that will ever change. The lost of context makes the first group sound like Tomoya just blurted out the sentence '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' without reason. ''Nothing stays that way forever'' and Tomoya's line doesn't seem to connect properly too. Compared to ''"All of them will change, and then you'll end up not liking this place anymore."''		You see the difference with the lines? The first group of sentence is emphasizing that nothing stays the same forever, while the second group is emphasizing that there might be nothing there that will ever change. The lost of context makes the first group sound like Tomoya just blurted out the sentence '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' without reason. ''Nothing stays that way forever'' and Tomoya's line doesn't seem to connect properly too. Compared to ''"All of them will change, and then you'll end up not liking this place anymore."''

			--DGreater1

			Oh. I see. Yes, you are right. First Group needs the "everything '''in this school'''" meaning to make sense. On the other hand, Second Group has it, so Second Group makes sense.

			Nagisa's monologues implicitly include a little the meaning "everything '''in the school'''" in the Japanese text. Of cource, the monologues are the first one, which is talking to someone in her mind(SEEN0414), and the second one, which is talking to Tomoya(SEEN0415).

			--[[User:Akiha\|Akiha]] 12:29, 22 April 2007 (PDT)

Dgreater1: Minor edit with the discussion @_@

2007-04-22T16:09:00Z

Minor edit with the discussion @_@

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:09, 22 April 2007
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	She said, "I really, really do... But nothing... can remain the same."<br>		She said, "I really, really do... But nothing... can remain the same."<br>
	"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>		"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>
	"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya ~~blurted~~... <br>		............
			"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya said the last line he thought she was thinking... <br>
	"That's right." she replied.		"That's right." she replied.
	<br>		<br>
Line 744:		Line 745:
	She said, "I really really like this school... But, there might be nothing here that will never change."<br>		She said, "I really really like this school... But, there might be nothing here that will never change."<br>
	"Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them... All of them will change."<br>		"Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them... All of them will change."<br>
	"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya ~~blurted~~... <br>		............
			"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya said the last line he thought she was thinking... <br>
	"That's right." she replied.<br>		"That's right." she replied.<br>

	You see the difference with the lines? The first group of sentence is emphasizing that nothing stays the same forever, while the second group is emphasizing that there might be nothing there that will ever change. The lost of context makes the first group sound like Tomoya just blurted out the sentence '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' without reason. ''Nothing stays that way forever'' and Tomoya's line doesn't seem to connect properly too. Compared to ''"All of them will change, and then you'll end up not liking this place anymore."''		You see the difference with the lines? The first group of sentence is emphasizing that nothing stays the same forever, while the second group is emphasizing that there might be nothing there that will ever change. The lost of context makes the first group sound like Tomoya just blurted out the sentence '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' without reason. ''Nothing stays that way forever'' and Tomoya's line doesn't seem to connect properly too. Compared to ''"All of them will change, and then you'll end up not liking this place anymore."''

Dgreater1: Geh... I accidently pressed save paged XD

2007-04-22T06:31:31Z

Geh... I accidently pressed save paged XD

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:31, 22 April 2007
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	What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about ''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"?''		What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about ''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"?''
	Line ~~459~~-~~463~~ seems to be missing some context which makes Tomoya's line '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' quite confusing		Line 49-52 in SEEN0414 seems to be missing some context which makes Tomoya's line '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' quite confusing if you put it in SEEN0415 Line 459-463.

	I'll try to put type it in like a book novel to make more sense...		I'll try to put type it in like a book novel to make more sense...
Line 739:		Line 739:
	"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>		"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>
	"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya blurted... <br>		"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya blurted... <br>
	"That's right." she replied.~~<br>~~		"That's right." she replied.
	<br>		<br>
	<br>'''Second Group'''<br>		<br>'''Second Group'''<br>

Dgreater1: M

2007-04-22T06:28:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:28, 22 April 2007
Line 735:		Line 735:
	I'll try to put type it in like a book novel to make more sense...		I'll try to put type it in like a book novel to make more sense...

			<br>'''First Group'''<br>
	She said, "I really, really do... But nothing... can remain the same."<br>		She said, "I really, really do... But nothing... can remain the same."<br>
	"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>		"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>
Line 740:		Line 741:
	"That's right." she replied.<br>		"That's right." she replied.<br>
	<br>		<br>
			<br>'''Second Group'''<br>
	She said, "I really really like this school... But, there might be nothing here that will never change."<br>		She said, "I really really like this school... But, there might be nothing here that will never change."<br>
	"Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them... All of them will change."<br>		"Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them... All of them will change."<br>

Dgreater1: Minor Edit

2007-04-22T06:25:17Z

Minor Edit

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:25, 22 April 2007
Line 702:		Line 702:
	<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning		<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning
	// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。		// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。
	<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you~~'re saying, we~~'ll end up ~~disliking~~ this ~~school~~?"		<0464> \{\m{B}} "And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"
	// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」		// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」
	<0465> I said the last word.		<0465> I said the last word.
	****************************************		****************************************
	SEEN0415 With the ~~substituted line~~		SEEN0415 With the lines from SEEN0414
	****************************************		****************************************
	<0456> I heard this line before. But this time,she's looking at me.		<0456> I heard this line before. But this time, she's looking at me.
	// 聞いたことのあるセリフ。今度は俺に向けられていた。		// 聞いたことのあるセリフ。今度は俺に向けられていた。
	<0457> \{\m{B}} "Well, not really."		<0457> \{\m{B}} "Well, not really."
Line 724:		Line 724:
	<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning		<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning
	// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。		// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。
	~~======== What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about the next line? =====~~		<0464> \{\m{B}} "And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"
	~~======== Line 459-463 seems to be missing some context to make the next line be interpreted correctly. =====~~
	<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you~~'re saying, we~~'ll end up ~~disliking~~ this ~~school~~?"
	// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」		// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」
	<0465> I said the last word.		<0465> I said the last word.
	// 最後の言葉は俺が言っていた。		// 最後の言葉は俺が言っていた。
	</pre>		</pre>

			What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about ''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"?''
			Line 459-463 seems to be missing some context which makes Tomoya's line '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' quite confusing

			I'll try to put type it in like a book novel to make more sense...

			She said, "I really, really do... But nothing... can remain the same."<br>
			"Even fun things and happy things... Nothing stays that way forever."<br>
			"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya blurted... <br>
			"That's right." she replied.<br>
			<br>
			She said, "I really really like this school... But, there might be nothing here that will never change."<br>
			"Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them... All of them will change."<br>
			"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?" Tomoya blurted... <br>
			"That's right." she replied.<br>

			You see the difference with the lines? The first group of sentence is emphasizing that nothing stays the same forever, while the second group is emphasizing that there might be nothing there that will ever change. The lost of context makes the first group sound like Tomoya just blurted out the sentence '''"And then, you'll end up not liking this place anymore?"''' without reason. ''Nothing stays that way forever'' and Tomoya's line doesn't seem to connect properly too. Compared to ''"All of them will change, and then you'll end up not liking this place anymore."''

Dgreater1: Minor Edit

2007-04-21T19:46:31Z

Minor Edit

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:46, 21 April 2007
Line 667:		Line 667:

	--[[User:Umiman\|umiman]] 22:29, 4 March 2007 (PST)		--[[User:Umiman\|umiman]] 22:29, 4 March 2007 (PST)
			=== SEEN0414 and SEEN0415 Line Consistency ===
	<pre>		<pre>
	****************************************		****************************************
Line 724:		Line 724:
	<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning		<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning
	// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。		// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。
	======== What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about the next line? =====		======== What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about the next line? =====
	======== Line 459-463 seems to be missing some context to make the next be interpreted correctly. =====		======== Line 459-463 seems to be missing some context to make the next line be interpreted correctly. =====
	<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you're saying, we'll end up disliking this school?"		<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you're saying, we'll end up disliking this school?"
	// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」		// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」

Dgreater1: Discussion

2007-04-21T19:23:21Z

Discussion

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:23, 21 April 2007
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	--[[User:Umiman\|umiman]] 22:29, 4 March 2007 (PST)		--[[User:Umiman\|umiman]] 22:29, 4 March 2007 (PST)

			<pre>
			****************************************
			SEEN0414 Original
			****************************************
			<0047> Probably wondering what her boyfriend (or girlfriend) would say.
			// その彼（あるいは彼女）は、どう答えたのだろうか。
			<0048> \{Girl} "I really, really do."
			// \{女の子} 「わたしはとってもとっても好きです」
			<0049> \{Girl} "But, nothing... can remain the same."
			// \{女の子} 「でも、なにもかも…変わらずにはいられないです」
			<0050> \{Girl} "Even fun things and happy things."
			// \{女の子} 「楽しいこととか、うれしいこととか、ぜんぶ」
			<0051> \{Girl} "Nothing stays that way forever."
			// \{女の子} 「ぜんぶ、変わらずにはいられないです」
			<0052> With great difficulty, she continues to speak.
			****************************************
			SEEN0415 Original
			****************************************
			<0456> I heard this line before. But this time,she's looking at me.
			// 聞いたことのあるセリフ。今度は俺に向けられていた。
			<0457> \{\m{B}} "Well, not really."
			// \{\m{B}} 「いや、取り立てては」
			<0458> \{Girl} "Is that so..."
			// \{女の子} 「そうですか…」
			<0459> \{Girl} "I really really like this school." // same with line 0048 from SEEN0414
			// \{女の子} 「わたしはとってもとっても好きです」
			<0460> \{Girl} "But, there might be nothing here that will never change." // same with line 0049 from SEEN0414
			// \{女の子} 「でも、なにもかも…変わらずにはいられないです」
			<0461> \{Girl} "Enjoyable things and happy things, all of them." // same with line 0050 from SEEN0414
			// \{女の子} 「楽しいこととか、うれしいこととか、ぜんぶ」
			<0462> \{Girl} "All of them will change."
			// \{女の子} 「ぜんぶ、変わらずにはいられないです…」// same with line 0051 from SEEN0414
			<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning
			// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。
			<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you're saying, we'll end up disliking this school?"
			// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」
			<0465> I said the last word.
			****************************************
			SEEN0415 With the substituted line
			****************************************
			<0456> I heard this line before. But this time,she's looking at me.
			// 聞いたことのあるセリフ。今度は俺に向けられていた。
			<0457> \{\m{B}} "Well, not really."
			// \{\m{B}} 「いや、取り立てては」
			<0458> \{Girl} "Is that so..."
			// \{女の子} 「そうですか…」
			<0459> \{Girl} "I really, really do."
			// \{女の子} 「わたしはとってもとっても好きです」
			<0460> \{Girl} "But, nothing... can remain the same."
			// \{女の子} 「でも、なにもかも…変わらずにはいられないです」
			<0461> \{Girl} "Even fun things and happy things."
			// \{女の子} 「楽しいこととか、うれしいこととか、ぜんぶ」
			<0462> \{Girl} "Nothing stays that way forever."
			// \{女の子} 「ぜんぶ、変わらずにはいられないです」
			<0463> It's the same lines I heard yesterday morning
			// すべて、昨日の朝、聞いたセリフだ。
			======== What I mean is, is line 459-463 enough to make Tomoya think about the next line? =====
			======== Line 459-463 seems to be missing some context to make the next be interpreted correctly. =====
			<0464> \{\m{B}} "So you're saying, we'll end up disliking this school?"
			// \{\m{B}} 「それで、この場所が好きでいられなくなったのか」
			<0465> I said the last word.
			// 最後の言葉は俺が言っていた。
			</pre>

Umiman at 06:29, 5 March 2007

2007-03-05T06:29:26Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:29, 5 March 2007
Line 652:		Line 652:

	:--[[User:Jc100\|Jc100]] 23:13, 18 February 2007 (PST)		:--[[User:Jc100\|Jc100]] 23:13, 18 February 2007 (PST)

			******
			Sorry for the long delay in reading this. Sick for quite awhile and had a lot of projects to do:

			Line 0114: Reworked the sentence to fit.

			Line 0115: I suggest using JC100's translation for this. I also suggest using Jc's translation for lines 0088 to 0092 as well.

			From what I can see, DGreater1 and JC100 have quite contrasting translation styles. DGreater seems to focus more on faithfulness to the original text while JC100 is more keen on making it sound nice in English.

			I might be wrong though, but I'll suggest the times when it might be better to switch between the two.

			p.s: This is mostly a rough go-through. It's hard reading two translations at once, so please bear with me :).

			--[[User:Umiman\|umiman]] 22:29, 4 March 2007 (PST)