Talk:Zero no Tsukaima:Volume11 Chapter1 - Revision history

Thechinanator: /* His Mother, Mother, etc? */

2010-02-06T14:00:05Z

His Mother, Mother, etc?

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:00, 6 February 2010
Line 10:		Line 10:
	[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)		[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

	~~== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==~~

	I edited the mother thing to "his mother". It just didn't sound right with "Mother" because the paragraph is leaning towards the third person perspective more. Also, I noticed something in this sentence.

	~~"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. Mother turned around. Mother's face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "~~

	~~Notice how it said "The same gentle, calm face of his mother..."~~
	~~I believe it to be implying that the person before Saito was not really his mother. Just a person sharing the same face or so. So I changed it to~~

	~~"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. His mother turned around. Her familiar face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "~~

	~~I don't know if this is straying too far from the original script or not, so if anyone wants to point out how the original was, that would be helpful.~~

	== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==		== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==

2010-02-06T13:59:40Z

His Mother, Mother, etc?: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:59, 6 February 2010
Line 9:		Line 9:

	[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)		[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

			== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==

			I edited the mother thing to "his mother". It just didn't sound right with "Mother" because the paragraph is leaning towards the third person perspective more. Also, I noticed something in this sentence.

			"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. Mother turned around. Mother's face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "

			Notice how it said "The same gentle, calm face of his mother..."
			I believe it to be implying that the person before Saito was not really his mother. Just a person sharing the same face or so. So I changed it to

			"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. His mother turned around. Her familiar face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "

			I don't know if this is straying too far from the original script or not, so if anyone wants to point out how the original was, that would be helpful.

	== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==		== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==

2010-02-06T13:59:29Z

His Mother, Mother, etc?: new section

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:59, 6 February 2010
Line 9:		Line 9:

	[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)		[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

			== His Mother, Mother, etc? ==

			I edited the mother thing to "his mother". It just didn't sound right with "Mother" because the paragraph is leaning towards the third person perspective more. Also, I noticed something in this sentence.

			"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. Mother turned around. Mother's face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "

			Notice how it said "The same gentle, calm face of his mother..."
			I believe it to be implying that the person before Saito was not really his mother. Just a person sharing the same face or so. So I changed it to

			"For some reason, such a casual conversation pierced hard through his chest. His mother turned around. Her familiar face. The same gentle, calm face of his mother... "

			I don't know if this is straying too far from the original script or not, so if anyone wants to point out how the original was, that would be helpful.

2010-02-03T02:31:54Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:31, 3 February 2010
Line 1:		Line 1:
	'''Back to business:'''		'''Back to business:'''
	Whoever restarted to translate ZnT, I love you. You must win at life. Don't stop, even if your life is at stake.		Whoever restarted to translate ZnT, I love you. You must win at life. Don't stop, even if your life is at stake.

			--------------------------

			"The sun has already gone halfway" - what time of day is this supposed to indicate? Try "The sun had already risen" for late morning or "The sun was already high in the sky" for the afternoon?

			Also, shouldn't there be more consistent use of either "Mother" or "his mother" during the non-speech parts of Saito's dream? The former implies first-person narration; the latter implies third-person.

			[[User:RabidRabbit\|RabidRabbit]] 02:31, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

2010-01-19T19:18:39Z

New page: '''Back to business:''' Whoever restarted to translate ZnT, I love you. You must win at life. Don't stop, even if your life is at stake.

New page

'''Back to business:'''
Whoever restarted to translate ZnT, I love you. You must win at life. Don't stop, even if your life is at stake.