HanTsuki:Volume 4 Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Warm Days (*Translation in progress. As a non-native speaker, the translator toils to translate the chapter in appropriate grammar. Translator's comment is marked with *. To quote Shakespeare: 'Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage—The which, if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.')

(*Any comment on my use of present tense instead of past tense? I feel that we are engaging all the events with the narrator, mostly Yiuchi, so I keep using present tense. Does that make sense? Especially the thoughts of the narrator, they really need to be in present tense, because it reflects how he/she changes his/her mind over time.)

Sits in front of me is an old door.

A door which can be broken with a light kick. The hinge is fragile and thin. If intended, it can be kicked off easily. To me, however, it is a solid door, far more secure than heavy iron ones. I can never step to the world inside, let alone breaking it.

Written on a plastic label was revealed above the door:

ICU--- (*intensive care unit)

Though an idiot like me would never know what English words are those initial standing for, I know, for certain, that it is translated as emergency room. (*Don't really know how to translate this...) Here in the Municipal Wakaba Hospital has patients drove in with ambulance, but surprisingly, half of them are not emergency--a few hours after arriving, they will be walking out of the hospital with embarrassment. It is said that, the real severe ones, like those who facing deaths, amount to ten to twenty percent only. Those severe patient would be carried to here (*Refers to ICU) after treatments. And, some portion in the group......I don't know how many though, cannot live.

This is such a place.

A few days after the operation,Rika is still living, like Natsume said, the operation was successful. However, Rika presently cannot leave ICU, and no sign of doing so. Such a situation makes my mind go wild. Depicted in my mind was a simpler future: if the operation was successful, the situation would turn right, I can meet Rika immediately after the operation. Rika would smile to me, following her, I would also smile. And we will making jokes, being happy, very happy. However, if the operation was failed, the world would be destroyed and no way to go on.

Nevertheless, the world is not as simple as this. Even though the operation was successful, everything was not put to an end, at the same time never started. I am confused, when the reality of 'success' reals, the dungeon of despair also unseals.

Indeed, just like hovering in the midair.

I cannot laugh nor can I cry. There is no one who could tell me which to do. If the operation succeed, there is a brave new world waiting up front! I was convinced with this line of thought before, but such a superficial hope is slowly fading.

Finally, the door leads to ICU was opened.

"Oh, miss Akiko."

A shadow, which I eagerly approached to, leaked.

"Yeah." Miss Akiko said:

"You are still here?!"

"Y, yes."

I saw Miss Akiko entered ICU one hour ago, therefore, I kept waiting here.

"How is Rika?"

"Well, she is surprisingly recovering smoothly."

"Ok."

I let out a breathe, which carries all my strengthen in my kneels.

"Great."

"Ok, time to leave now."

"Oh, right."

I followed Miss Akiko. I don't know why, Miss Akiko is rushing in her steps. She seems to be raising her shoulder. Recently, Miss Akiko keep look like this, speak very little. She is not angry, but, out of no reason, she would give me a harsh look. What is going on......

"Well, Yuichi."

"Yes?"

In a split second, our eyes met.

"Well..."

"Huh?"

"...Never mind."

Miss Akiko seldom behaves so confusingly. There must be something going on. Suddenly I am disturbed, because I feel that her strange words and acts maybe related to Rika's sickness.

Unconsciously, I spoke:

"Miss Akiko, may I ask."

"What?"

In a split second, our eyes met again.

"Well...I..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

God! Why is using language so hard? Even ten percent of thought in my mind cannot be conveyed clearly! Oh, maybe not. Maybe it is my mind which is confused.

I am not even sure of myself.

After that, we both kept our mouth shut, keep walking on the ramp or the hallway. I have many things to speak or to ask, but in the end none is turn to words.

We arrived the medical station in this way.

Miss Akiko stopped in front of the door.

"By the way, are you writing the reports?"

"Oh, I did nothing."

"Idiot, you really are an idiot! If you cannot hand in the reports, aren't going to repeat? Like me, I was failing all the time too, but I have never repeated."

I am flooded with anguish and say:

"What do you mean by 'like me'? I am not failing all the time, just a subject or two."

"But, you are going to repeat, right?"

"Well, that is right..."

"Rika is working hard, you should do so too."

Miss Akiko smiled after she speaks.

"You tone seems like a nurse just then."

"..."

"Wa, what? What does that look mean? Well, young-lings are not cute recently, they never say 'I will work hard!' honestly."

"(*??)pong!" My head was hit! Ouch! Why is she hitting me?! A person like her!

"Ouch, Miss Akiko was making fun of me just then, right?"

"Hahahaha."

"You are laughing too?"

Even if I have said that, I am also laughing.

"Quickly get back to your room."

"Yes, yes and yes. Understood."

But when I were to walk, I was stopped.

"Yuichi, you know what?"

"Huh? What?"

I am still immersed in the funny moment, brightly asked. However, Miss Akiko has already withdraw her smile. Indeed, the grin is no where to be found. Oh, Miss Akiko's mouth is moving, what did she said? The word, the reality, soon to be heard, which I am anticipating, but at the same time what I have been dodging for will soon arrive.

Despair?

Hope?

Of course, I cannot be prepared mentally. I can only wait for the words with shiver. But, Miss Akiko stopped her lips. Then, Miss Akiko shown a dim light in her eyes, which I know by heart. It is the same as Natsume's eyes after the operation.

Miss Akiko is also sympathising with me.

"Go back to your room, you kid!"

"..."

"Or, you will never get out of hospital!"

Then, Miss Akiko stepped inside the medical station.

Or I should say, 'dodging' inside.

Strangely enough, what sort of things which I don't know, is hold as a secret to me? Regardless of whom, Natsume, Miss Akiko or another other nurses are covering it.

Suddenly, I feel painful in the chest.

I kneel down immediately.

"I can't... breath...."

I have breathing in and out.

I am really breathing.

But, why it feels so painful?

By the way, it doesn't make sense!

It is abnormal.

There must be something wrong with it.

For example, something went wrong... Yes, like that thing. When I a first year student in junior high school , I really like a girl, nonono, actually not that deep a love. Unlike 'fondness' or 'love', which seems grand or emotion which makes the heart pounding strongly, I somehow slowly think that being with her is natural.

Yes, indeed, not 'love'... No, I am not forcing(*??), it really is true, for real.

That was a long time ago, there is once I was walking with that girl. That then, a handsome guy heading us. Of course I am jealous, I wish he can disappear right away.

Nevertheless...

The girl who walked beside me suddenly eased her pace.

"What happened?"

I asked.

"Umm."

She replied coldly, ducked her head, walking even slower. I was still walking in the same pace, which made our distance more than one meter.

At the same time when I stop, the handsome guy spoke in a bright tone, which suits his handsome look, to that girl.

"Hey! Heading home?"

"Yeah, right."

She made a big smile, violently nodding.

That was a completely different attitude to me just then!

We were friends for a long time.

I understand her too much.

But, I know nothing about her with this look.

Then, the handsome bastard chat with her a bit, being idiotically kind just like how he treated every other person. As for her, she is still making that bright smile.

Leaving me alone.

Because I am alone, so I understood a lot of things.

Then, I am hurt at the same time I understood.

Clearly, she don't want to be misunderstood as hanging out with me. That's why she slowed her pace...

Yes, right. That is not love.

We are not in a relationship in any sense.

It doesn't matter. We are just childhood friends(*幼馴染)--getting together from childhood only! Therefore, regardless of her falling in love with others, or that guy is completely not loving her--it just doesn't matter. I don't care if she kept a distance with me because of others, nor do I care the cold attitude, I just shouldn't care! Let alone being hurt because of this.

However, even so, I was hurt.

"Well, bye bye~"

"see ya!"

The two of them exchanged the plain old goodbye before separating.

The guy head to the other way,

when she head back to me... But still keeping a distance.

"Off we go, Miyuki."

I squeezed out a smile, and spoke with delight.

Yes, I smiled.

Or, what else can I do?

Anyway, it is not a world which lack of non-sense.

More severely, take the wars in all parts of the world as an example, that is already the best proof for the non-sense. "Boom, boom!" bombs were aimlessly thrown by the justice army, when kids, whose parents are murdered, and who carried bombs and rushed into that army, are considered as terrorists. Sigh, similar things are countless, they can even be considered as old stories.

Nevertheless,

I really don't know it can be non-sense as such, as wrong as such. If one ask what kind of non-sense it is, what absurdity it is, what went completely wrong..... Yes, if I really need to practically depict it, it is this:

Yamanishi got a girlfriend!!

And it is said that she is a beauty!

Why do I know that? It's because that Yamanishi is happily boasting in front of me!

"Hahahahahahaha, indeed, a man like me will never be (*??)wasted by any girl. What should I say? Heartthrob! (*??Japanese idiom), that is to say, just opening my mouth, preys will fall in automatically. Anyway, that is the feeling! Hahahahaha!"

"..."

"Oh, I can barely bear this, she is so annoying that she send message once in a while to me! But well, girls are fear of loneliness, don't they? Therefore, we guys should be considerate and reply, that is the responsibilities of man, right? Hey!"

Yamanishi came into my room.

(* Terms for consistent with other translation: Municipal Wakaba Hospital Akiko Tanizaki Rika Akiba Yūichi Ezaki Gorō Natsume Tsukasa Sekoguchi Tamotsu Yamanishi Miyuki Mizutani)

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