Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 1 Chapter 1
"It's a primitive response to gratitude. To give pleasure. You see, our normal hosts are quite mindless; they can be thanked only by physical sensation"
"Thank you for accepting transporting me. Thank you very much."
- from "The Only Neat Thing to Do" by James Tiptree, Jr.
Chapter 1
On the winter when I was sixteen, I actually met many different types of people – there was a boxer, a soldier, a gigolo, a detective and a yakuza member. They were all NEETs – just of different varieties. The term ‘NEET’ occasionally surfaces on the news or in the newspapers, and I thought it merely referred to unmotivated and unemployed youths, but in reality there are actually many different sides to them. There is no all-encompassing reason as to why they remain jobless or do not go to school.
“The term ‘NEET’ refers to neither ‘useless people’ nor ‘lazy people’.” That is what the detective said to me. “The only difference lies in the rules. While everybody else uses the board to play checkers, we use chess pieces instead.”
“I don’t really get it. Does that mean you’re just getting in the way?” I naively questioned. The detective thought for a moment, pursing her cherry-like lips which eventually gave way to a silent smile.
“I suppose it would indeed seem that way to those who merely want to rush ahead. I understand that society wishes to group us all up and label us thus, and fling us out into the rubbish dump; I also understand that they wish to point at us and laugh mockingly. Let them laugh all they want. No matter how you may want to argue it, that we are a negative influence to the society at large is an undeniable truth.
The detective gazed at her opened hands, eventually raising her head again. This time, her smile wasn’t one of sarcasm and bitterness – but one that was comparable to the sun’s rays on a freezing winter’s day. “We will never laugh at ourselves. Just as the earthworms do not fear darkness, a penguin will not be ashamed of its inability to fly. That is the meaning of what it is to live, is it not?”
I couldn’t give her any answer, because I had never thought so deeply about such matters. Regardless, no matter how many bombastic words you use, isn’t the fact that you are all useless people the main gist of it?
However, it was also that very same winter when I first saw a dead corpse, and when I first assaulted another person. It was the first time in my life that I personally contemplated about what it means to actually be alive. I suppose anybody who has witnessed another person giving up on his life or giving up seeking death will feel the same way as I have.
Yet, that is a story for much later. For now, I would like to talk about the winter when I first met all these people, and the story of a non-NEET, normal girl.
Near the end of November, I met Ayaka for the first time.
After school ended on Tuesday, I sat on the water tower on the roof of the southern campus, staring into empty space facing the tall buildings far away. Normally once school ends, I would go report in at the computer room and focus on club activities that only consist of one person. But on afternoons with computer lessons, even after school there will still be a lot of students staying back to play with the computers that they usually don't come in contact with. I am unable to bring myself to walk in just like that, so every Tuesday and Thursday I always come up to the roof to waste time. Staring at the computer room on the second story of the northern campus, giving off a huge amount of "Get Lost Already!" waves, and sighing as I look down onto the streets.
The streets I currently live in can be separated into two colors, the long thin river that flows like the artery of a patient is the divider of the colors. The side closer to me has rusted roofs of factories, cheap housing lying back to back to each other, then high school. I am not sure why, but there are a lot of shrines and graves in this area; My house is also on this side. On the other side is a tall flyover bridge for a highway to the capital, a gigantic train station with countless railways, tall buildings packed along complicated slopes, shopping malls and television stations. On sunny days, you can even see the shadow of the government building far away. Tokyo is an amazing place to let boring housings that can be found anywhere in Japan and tall modern buildings to co-exist peacefully here.
Looking down from the roof, the train station is like a scene in an advertisement on TV, without realism. Probably because I don't want to get close to that area? As we can wear our school uniform and just go out and play immediately after school, I heard that our school is rather popular in Tokyo; If the sailor costume has bright colors, it might even increases its attractiveness by around 40%.
It is a cloudy day that day, just nice enough that you can examine closely the glass panels of the tall buildings that are normally not possible due to their bright reflections. But talking about it, it is just a bunch of glass windows that are cut by similar methods. I always fill those glass squares with colors in my mind, sketching pixel art.
I've gotten used to killing time like that. I think it's because I'm always transferring schools because of my dad's work. At the beginning of October, when I transferred into my current high school, I joined the PC club just because there was no one else active there, and went about my school life without being noticed by anyone. I've often thought that there's no point in me going to high school. I don't go to classes either.
As I was gazing at the building, I suddenly heard a clattering sound below me, causing me to raise my feet. The water supply tower was set on top of the stair room jutting out from the roof. It was the sound of someone who had climbed up the stairs opening the door.
"Is someone there?"
I heard a girl's voice. When I carefully leaned forward and and peered directly below, she turned around, meeting my gaze.
She had short hair, and strong-spirited eyebrows, contrasting her eyes, which gave off a cute, friendly impression. I felt like I'd seen her before. As I moved to get up, she made a surprised face, letting out a "Wah!" I tumbled down from the water supply tower.
It was lucky that I fell from my feet, but because the backs of my hands scraped roughly against the concrete wall, the first thing she did when we met was wash my wounds with water from the watering can she had.
"Why would you climb up a place like that, it's dangerous!" <~~5% Completed~~>
| Back to Novel Illustrations | Return to Main Page | Forward to Chapter 2 |
