For example, consider these two versions of a line-and-a-half from "Wandering Shadow:"
Original:
For a while there I thought what incantations had Haruhi cooked up. It turned out to be ...
Current:
For a while there I wondered what sort of incantation Haruhi had cooked up. It turned out to be,,,
The original has a number mismatch between 'incantations' and 'it', and an incorrectly formatted sentence (thought) fragment as the object of Kyon's thought, a problem that can be resolved in a number of ways. Further into the paragraph there are several other issues, including an obscure 'was/were' choice, an aesthetic problem with ' ...it. It...' and some idiomatic usage stuff. None of which interfere with easy reading and comprehension.
Let me be completely clear, I'm not criticizing the job HolyCow is doing with the translation. It's a process. I like editing. I bring this up to look at what I'm doing, in the context of the original intent and execution of the author.
I know this is a complex and insubstantial issue, so even vague handwaving and half-baked reactions would be appreciated.
For reference, here's the complete original and the complete edit on the target paragraph: