Denpa Teki na Kanojo

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elkin
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Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

Feedback thread for http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... _na_Kanojo.

------

As some of you may know, there's an OVA out detailing the events in the first novel. I'm translating it purely out of curiosity... This is Chinese -> English, so there may be discrepancies with the original Japanese.

Synopsis: http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclo ... p?id=10519

And yes, I know I should be doing Baccano!, but having a bit of a Japanese overload atm with my other translation work.

Enjoy the preview (I hope I'm putting this in the right forum):
Spoiler! :
Chapter 1 The Oath of the Bond from the Previous Life

Normally, what would you think when you've been called to the back of

the gym after school?

If the caller is a close friend, it's probably to tell some kind of

secret, right? But if the caller is a male and, on top of that, not a

close friend, it could be a signal of danger and violence.

Then, suppose the caller is a girl, what then?

In particular, if you were suddenly called out by a girl you've never

met before, what would you think?

Probably no guy would consider this a dangerous situation; in contrast,

the majority of guys would instead hurry there excitely with great

anticipation, right?

Jyuuzawa Jyuu never really bothered to think about this, because the

letter placed in his shoe cupboard had only specified the time and

location, and---

"There is something I would like to talk to you about."

Just this simple sentence.

The writing was elegant, giving the impression that it might be the

penmanship of a girl, but that was all there was to it.

Further, even if the letter was written by a girl, the person waiting

there then did not necessarily have to be a girl.

Although there was no problem with ignoring it, Jyuu was free after

classes, so he still headed in the direction of the specified gym. From

experience, when he was being called out in this manner, eight or nine

times out of ten there'd be a large crowd of people waiting there, and

they chose an isolated location precisely because it'd convenient to do

what they wanted! Besides, it was not the first time this kind of

situation had happened.

Jyuu felt that if a challenge was delivered right to his doorstep, he'd

give them what they asked for- this was only course of action for a

delinquent.

If there was something he had to worry about, it would probably be

things like how many opponents are there and what kind of weapons they

have!

But Jyuu guessed wrongly.

The large tree standing behind the gym was an over 200-year old sakura

tree, and was here long before this school was established. By now, all

the sakura flowers had already fallen from the branches, so it was

likely that not a single person would care about it until next year,

when it blossoms?

And, waiting under the tree for him was a girl.

Looking from a distance, Jyuu had no recollection of that girl

whatsoever.

Then, could it be... that?

Even Jyuu realised the meaning of being called out in such a manner by

a girl, but he immediately dismissed the notion, feeling it was far too

stupid.

It was far too stupid for a girl to have feelings about this, no,

rather, for him to think of this girl in that manner. But, it was

possible that he had dismissed the notion too soon.

He carefully surveyed the surroundings; there was no one besides the

girl. Seems like she wasn't being used as bait, with others hiding to

watch the drama ensuing from the prank.

No matter what, Jyuu decided to chat first with that girl.

When she noticed Jyuu coming, the girl pulled herself erect, as though

she were a little nervous, then walked over to Jyuu. The girl was a

full two heads shorter than the tall Jyuu, and her build was also

fairly slender.

She had beautiful jet-black hair, but her fringe was unusually long,

making it impossible to tell her expressions. From the colour of the

scarf of her uniform, one could tell she, like Jyuu, was a year two

student at the private Sakuragiri Senior High.

Standing face-to-face with her, Jyuu scoured his memories hard but

still could not draw any recollections of her.

Ask for her name first.

"You..."

"You must be Jyuuzawa Jyuu-sama?"

"...Yeah, that's me."

Jyuu felt a little awkward hearing such a respectful manner of address

from the girl.

Jyuuzawa Jyuu-sama?

Why call me '-sama'?

This girl continued speaking to Jyuu, who had

"I have been waiting for you for a long time."

"Ah, really..."

"I've always wanted to see you."

"Uh, just who..."

He hadn't finished, but the girl suddenly knelt before him.

As far as Jyuu was aware, this action was typically taken when one

wasn't feeling well.

Maybe she was so nervous it made her feel ill?

Just as Jyuu was considering whether or not to pat her pack to comfort

her a little, the girl maintained her kneeling position, lifted her

head and said,

"My body is your property, my heart is your slave. My King, Jyuuzawa

Juu-sama, I hereby pledge my eternal allegiance to you."

Then, the girl lowered her face to the speechless Jyuuzawa's feet, and touched her lips to the tip of his shoe.
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Sinmay
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Sinmay »

lol at the shoe part

It seems really interesting. Are you gonna keep translating?
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by ShadowZeroHeart »

heard of the title, but i was more curious about something else...

Ever heard of the title Kurenai? The two novels seem related somehow, though i am not exactly sure... Heard that Denpa Teki happens years after Kurenai, anyone can confirm that?

P.S. Kurenai the anime was said to be a failure in some forums, in comparison to the novel, if they really are related, maybe Kurenai should be done first?
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

Yes, I'm translating more. When I have free time, whenever that is. Not quite sure where to post them, but hey.

And yes, it's by the same author as Kurenai, and it's set in the same universe- some 10 years ahead of Kurenai. In fact, Jyuuzawa Jyuu is the son of
Spoiler! :
Jyuuzawa Benika
Should be fairly obvious, really, going by surnames. Anyway, we see a lot more of his mum in the novel (I mean the OVA cut her out completely, so it's not hard to do).

I've not read/watched Kurenai though, so I can't really identify cameos unless others point them out. Or they're pretty obvious.

EDIT: just read your PS, Shadow. I don't think it's necessary to have read Kurenai to read this series. I mean, it's nice being able to pick out cameos and such, but the genre's very different. Some people have criticised this series as being too shallow ^^;;

And ok, I lie, I watched a few episodes of Kurenai. But too much nothing happened, so I gave up.
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

More of chapter 1, if anyone even reads this *l*
Spoiler! :
Without even thinking, Jyuuzawa immediately leapt back.

It was just a 951 yen cheap cloth sneaker- she actually dared to kiss it?

What slave? What allegiance? What kind of alien language was she speaking?

"...W- what're you doing?"

"I am Jyuu-sama's servant."

"'Servant'? What d’you mean, 'servant'?"

"It means someone who works for Jyuu-sama."

"What d’you mean, 'work'?"

"Anything at all."

She was speaking the same language, and he also understood what she was saying.

But, Jyuu felt it was pointless continuing the conversation.

The reason was simple: because this girl was on a completely different mental wavelength from him.

Jyuu turned his back on the girl and legged it out of there at full speed.

He heard the girl's voice calling him stop, but Jyuu pretended he didn't hear her.

Without a second glance, he sprinted out of the school gate in the direction of the train station.

This was the first time in his life Jyuuzawa Jyuu had fled in such panic.

-

The next day, in the classroom where the fourth period had just ended, Jyuu gave a big yawn.

Jyuu's seat was by the window in the far-end corner of the classroom.

Ever since he began sitting there in the first term of secondary two, it naturally became the fixed seat for Jyuu.

There was no real reason for it. It was simply because his classmates felt that fellows who were a nuisance should be placed off to one side insofar as was possible. One could also say what you can't see can't hurt you.
Lit: intangible gods are not worshipped.

As for Jyuu, he didn't mind this sort of treatment and so put up with it.

Although it's a common saying not to judge a book by its cover, as long as one could see, external appearances still had an impact on one's judgement.

Most students either became wary or possibly uncomfortable upon seeing this Jyuuzawa Jyuu teen.

His blonde-dyed hair and rough speech kept the others at arm's length. He was tall, and his physique was quite impressive in itself. His strong-willed expression made him look the type who liked a good brawl.

This was the recipe of disaster- from day one at school, Jyuu had caught the eye of the upper-classmen group and was taken along to a location safe from teachers' eyes. The table-tennis room that seemed to be populated by phantom members had become the gathering place for these guys. The upper-classman had said 'join the group', but Jyuu heard this as excuse for 'admit your defeat'.

The two phrases weren't actually that much different.

Jyuu replied to this with a punch, and with that, a scuffle broke out. Fortunately or not so fortunately, this one incident never reached the ears of the teachers. While Jyuu had two of his ribs broken, the four upper-classmen were left face-down on the floor. So it was probably difficult for them to come out in the open and admit what had happened, if they wanted to preserve some semblance of dignity.

Although the teachers remained blissfully unaware, rumours of this matter spread among the students in secret. With details being omitted with every re-telling, Jyuu's image became warped without needing any embellishment.

The teenager called Jyuuzawa Jyuu was a guy who attacked and bit indiscriminately like a rabid dog.

And so during that one year, people around him maintained a respectful distance, and the situation remained unchanged even going into his second year.

In this interval, Jyuu sparked off many brawls, reinforcing the rumours, which were already common knowledge among the students.

As such, the class treated him with great caution, and he too was able to understand their behaviour.

Jyuu never had any desire to chatter and hang out with friends or to participate in club activities, so he wasn’t bothered by this treatment.

He felt that being free from human relations was a surprisingly pleasant feeling.

With the majority of his classmates at the school cafeteria and the remainder scattered around the classroom with their lunches laid out at the centre of their little groups, Jyuu shifted his gaze to outside the window.

At any rate, what was with yesterday…?

The hell was up with that girl I met after class yesterday?

Even if she was making fun of me, I don’t get the point- it was so nonsensical.

The lingering haze of questions had been churning away somewhere in some part of his mind, even when he was dozing off in class.

Following from this, there’s still bound to be someone asking for a fight.

Ah well, guess I’ll forget about it…

Let’s just treat it as a meeting with a weird girl.

The deep contemplation ended. Jyuu took out his lunch from his bag.

“Ah--! Jyuu-kun, not another guy bento again!”

Jyuu turned to look where the high-pitched voice was calling from with a reluctant expression.

“Shuddap. Don’t just go around calling other people’s food measly.”

“Then let’s do this. I present you with one of my mini-hamburgers.”

“I don’t want it. Or rather, watcha trying to say?”

“In exchange, I shall take this pickled radish.”

“Like I said, watcha trying to say?!”

“I love pickled stuff, that’s what I’m saying.”

This girl skilfully evading the bluntness of Jyuu’s speech was his classmate, Satsuki Miya.

Those who could socialise with Jyuu without becoming nervous were few and far between.

“Is your name pronounced as Jyuuzawa Jun? It’s easy to remember, isn’t it? Nice to meet you, Jyuu-kun.”

She said this the day after they became classmates in the second year.

This girl was the only person in this school who called herself Jyuu’s friend, and was an extremely difficult opponent for him to handle. A brief glare from Jyuu was sufficient to scare just about any student into silence, yet Miya met this with a smile.

“This pickled radish is delicious. I love the crunchy sound.”

“…You just took my side dish without ask-”

“My mini-hamburger is delicious too, isn’t it? Yup, it’s a dish I have great confidence in.”

Pressured by that smiling face, Jyuu unwillingly took the mini-hamburger from Miya and popped into his mouth.

It was indeed delicious. But he had no intention of voicing such an opinion. Neither did Miya expect him to, asking Jyuu nothing of the sort.

Jyuu’s lunch consisted of onigiris. He made them himself, so there was nothing inside. The only accompaniments were the few slices of pickled radish set down next to them. When she first saw this bento, Miya enquired, ‘You have this every day?’, and Jyuu replied, ‘This is enough for a guy’.

Miya had been calling this a guy bento every since.

He had the slight impression that she was treating him like an idiot, but it was probably not the case, going by this girl’s character.

If Jyuu was the student most cut off by others the class, then Miya was the complete opposite. She was a girl who could chatter freely to anyone, her smile and characteristic cheerfulness banishing all wariness from those conversing with her. The usual lie of ‘everyone in class are my friends’ wouldn’t be too far from truth when used to describe her.

She was stunning, drawing people’s eyes with her beauty, and rumour had it countless boys had confessed to her. Even now, she was still available, and her stubborn refusal to obtain a boyfriend was one of the major contributing factors to her popularity.

She’s probably got a charitable mindset, Jyuu thought.

He could not grasp the true motives of this girl, who was able to socialise with even a guy like himself in such a light-hearted manner. Initially he was just plain bewildered, but now he accepted it. She probably felt sorry for him, being excluded by the class. Rather than disprove her belief that he would be lonely, Jyuu instead felt a little grateful.

Unless she spoke with him, the times when Jyuu would go through school without even saying a word would become much more frequent.

“Is it really cool for you to hang around here?”

“Why not?”

“Plenty of people must’ve asked you to join them for lunch, right?”

“Today is for socialising with Jyuu.”

“…Well, s’not like I mind.”
「……ま、いいけどさ」

The sight of Satsuki Miya and himself having lunch together would almost certainly draw animosity from those around them. Just as he expected, every single person in class, albeit the majority were guys, was glowering at Jyuu.

In particular, the glare from the class representative, Fujishima Kanako, was sharp as a weapon. If it was that girl, she was probably thinking that Jyuu was taking advantage of Miya’s good nature. Fujishima Kanako could not tolerate the existence of delinquents like Jyuu, or another way of putting it would be that she viewed them as enemies. Behind the black plastic-framed glasses, her eyes burned with a sense of duty that loathed wrong-doing. She was diligent and earnest to the bone, but she was in no way a study freak, and this trait alone meant Jyuu did not dislike this girl either.

Whatever, they can do as they like- with this thought, Jyuu quickly polished off his lunch.

He stood up from his seat, while Miya was only through with two-thirds of her bento.

“Uwah, isn’t this a little mean of you, Jyuu-kun?”

“I need the toilet.”

With an easy wave of a hand, Jyuu walked out of the classroom.

He couldn’t sleep with Miya around, so he started looking, wondering ‘is there some place that’s quiet?’.

Just as Jyuu was thinking ‘The roof’s gonna be surprisingly packed, won’t it?’, he stopped, noticing a figure coming from the end of the corridor.

Completely disregarding other students, making a beeline straight towards him- a short girl.

It was that girl he had met after class yesterday.

Without thinking, Jyuu’s body started running in the opposite direction. Slipping between the students standing in the way along the corridor, he charged straight down the stairs. Ever since he was young, Jyuu had been confident in his own athletic abilities and hardly ever fell down. Brushing past students close enough to make their eyes bulge, he nimbly descended to the first floor, and he continued running into the gym in the same manner. He came here because he could not think of anywhere else to go, but now that he thought it, they met here yesterday, so maybe it was not such a good idea after all.

Well, at least I’ve earned myself a little time.

“…Even so, what’s that gal want?”

He had run away without thinking, but it was not like the girl necessarily wanted to inflict harm on him.

It was just that he didn’t feel comfortable not knowing her true intentions. Jyuu’s friendships always ended catastrophically, and even among his own year there were many faces he didn’t know, so he had even less of a clue as to which class that girl belonged to.

Seeing as Miya knows so many people, she’ll probably know who she is, right?

I’ll ask her indirectly afterwards…

“So you were here.”

Even though she hadn’t said very much, for some reason, the girl’s voice was deeply imprinted in Jyuu’s memory.

Jyuu looked back, to see the girl making her way towards him.

He had put all his effort into running, yet the girl didn’t look tired at all from chasing after him.

Her speech, coupled with her mannerisms, both struck Jyuu’s spine as extremely creepy.

“Y-you, why’re you chasing after me…?”

“I am the knight who serves under Jyuu-sama. So it is only natural for me to be at your side.”

She had added the word ‘knight’ today. He had thought that yesterday’s lines were perhaps some kind of joke, he really did hope that was the case, but the girl behaved the same way she did yesterday.

Feeling a strange pressure emanating from the rapidly approaching girl, Jyuu once again spun around away from her.

The rest of the lunch break was spent in this fashion, playing an unproductive game of catch.

-

After class that day, Jyuu quickly prepared to head home. He had somehow managed to get away during lunch, but if he stayed in the classroom he sensed the girl would come after him again.

“Jyuu-kun, cleaning duty!”

“Sorry.”

Saying just this word as parting to Miya, he raced out hurriedly, and only relaxed when he was out of the school gates.

Somehow I didn’t get caught today, but what’ll happen tomorrow?

In the first place, why did I have to run away anyway?

I totally don’t get that girl’s objectives or her ulterior motives for approaching me, so it’s downright creepy of her.

If it’s someone who offended me, I’ll just beat them up.

But that girl’s just bizarre and all she’s done is to weird me out, so there’s nothing I can do.

“Come to think of it, I forgot to ask Miya…”

“Who is this Miya?”

“Woah!”

At some unknown point in time- he really didn’t know exactly when- the girl had walked up right next Jyuu’s side.

Facing Jyuu, who had instinctively put himself on guard, the girl bowed her head politely.

“Forgive me. I did not intend to startle Jyuu-sama.”

Jyuu had thought that he had sharper senses than other people, but he didn’t notice her at all.

This girl can erase all traces of her own presence?

Although it won’t be all that surprising if she really can pull it off.

“Why do you keep following me around…?”

“Because Jyuu-sama is my master.”

Jyuu felt that he had to change his line of questioning.

To one where she could give some common sense answers.

“…What’s your name?”

It was an extremely normal question, but the girl clapped her hands together in admiration.

She spoke as though it had never occurred to her.

“Pardon my tardy introduction. The name I go by in this present life is Ochibana Ame.”

“Ochibana Ame…?”

A surname of ‘falling blossoms’, and a name of ‘rain’.

It was not a name he familiar with, and a weird one at that.

Ochibane Ame showed him her student handbook, proving this was indeed her actual name.

“…I see, I know your name now. But what d’you mean by ‘this present life’?”

“By that I mean my name in my current life.”

Jyuu thought, ‘She must be some kind of idiot’, but he could hardly stop here, so he went with the flow.
Lit: matched her level of thoughts

If he didn’t do that, the conversation would never progress.

“…U---m, so it’s that. So you must also have some kind of past-life name, right?”

“Yes.”

“By the way, what kind of name was it?”

Frankly, he didn’t care a whit about it, but he asked for the sake of furthering the conversation.

Jyuu was getting this girl to talk a little bit more, so he could find out about her motives.

“Unfortunately, it is not something that can be pronounced in this present life.”

“Wuh?”

“I believe it has to do with our vocal cords. The world too has changed, so I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about it.”

He couldn’t get her at all.

But in order to carry on the conversation, Jyuu ignored the minor details.

“Explain, why do you keep following me around?”

“Just as I had stated earlier, it’s because…”

“I don’t get that stuff. Explain it in a way that I understand. If you can’t do that, don’t ever let me see you again.”

Jyuu gave a glare as he spoke, but Ame nodded her head without being the slightest bit fazed by it.

“Understood. Then I shall explain it in the simplest possible way.”

Her explanation required a full five minutes.

If this was simple, just how long would the detailed version take?

After hearing her speak, Jyuu only had two thoughts.

Firstly, how great it’d be if he didn’t have to listen, or rather, regret.

And that the girl’s mind worked in weird ways, or rather, conviction.

According to her, Jyuu appeared to have a master-servant relationship with her in their previous lives. Jyuu was a great king, and she his loyal subordinate. On the stage that was a vast continent, Jyuu lived a life of drama and turmoil, with her as the constant companion at his side. She described some incidents that had happened in the strange story, but Jyuu stopped listening half-way through.

The past lives she spoke about were set in the olden days thousands of years ago. They had supposedly played active roles determining the course of history for the continent with a tongue-twister name, in a world where swords, magic and monsters ran amok. Just hearing this was enough to give him a headache, and his brain refused to take in any of this information.

Forget about wanting to decipher all that- even ignoring it took a great deal of effort.

What was ironic was that this girl called Ochibana Ame enunciated words clearly, even though there wasn’t much intonation in her voice. While listening to her talk, he was assailed by a feeling that he was somehow being eaten away by something invisible, and Jyuu gave a small shudder.

With that, he came to a conclusion.

This girl, Ochibana Ame, was weird in the head.

She was the type of person who spoke about hallucinations like they were real, and forced others to believe in them as well. The type that’re called denpa*.
* Denpa: literally ‘electro-magnetic waves’ or ‘radio waves’, this term refers to the genre of mysterious girls who may or may not have powers related to waves. These powers are usually psychic in nature, for example being able to read someone’s thoughts by detecting e-m waves or electricity. Denpa girls also tend to have long black hair, long fringe optional.

This took up way too much time, but he had no clue as to how to proceed from here.

“And that concludes my explanation.”

Jyuu gave a hard stare at Ame, who was surrounded with an air of satisfaction at having finished her speech.

“So you’re following me around because of this stupid hallucination?”

“No, everything just now is the truth. I solemnly do swear so to god.”

Which god are you swearing to?

Jyuu stepped closer to Ame.

“You, get lost already.”

“…Could it be, your memories haven’t returned yet?”

“There never were any to begin with.”

“This is shocking. This might well be the result of someone’s conspiracy…”

“You, get lost already.”

Jyuu seized Ame by her collar and pulled her face close.

From between the gaps of her gloomy fringe, Ame’s eyes looked up at him without blinking.

“Don’t drag me into your stupid delusions. Secondly, leave me alone. Stay away. I don’t wanna see you.”

Ame said nothing and just gazed into Jyuu’s eyes.

A long moment’s silence passed.
Lit: dozens of seconds in which no one talked.

Jyuu released her collar roughly, and Ame was thrust away.

Without meeting the eyes of the girl who had fallen onto her backside, he left.

This time, he didn’t hear anyone calling him to stop from behind.
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Darklor »

Oh you havent at the end created a teaser page...
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

Teaser page up at http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... _na_Kanojo. I'll post more of ch 1 at some point.
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Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

Feedback thread for http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... _na_Kanojo.

Feel free to post what you think!
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Darklor »

Good work I would say. But I wonder why you did also put the sentence "Forum translation done by Elkin" in the page, since you as the creator of the page are also the translator of the Teaser. (I, as the mere creator of some pages do it to give credit to the translators.)
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by onizuka-gto »

Darklor wrote:Good work I would say. But I wonder why you did also put the sentence "Forum translation done by Elkin" in the page, since you as the creator of the page are also the translator of the Teaser. (I, as the mere creator of some pages do it to give credit to the translators.)

He's forgetful, nothing wrong putting in a reminder for yourself. :P :lol: :wink:
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Darklor »

onizuka-gto wrote:
Darklor wrote:Good work I would say. But I wonder why you did also put the sentence "Forum translation done by Elkin" in the page, since you as the creator of the page are also the translator of the Teaser. (I, as the mere creator of some pages do it to give credit to the translators.)

He's forgetful, nothing wrong putting in a reminder for yourself. :P :lol: :wink:
He he :lol: Maybe... :wink:

But maybe Elkin did use only one of the teaser pages I created as a (maybe bad) template... ;)
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Darklor »

I liked it :D
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

Darklor

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DInamo
Astral Realm

Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by DInamo »

I really enjoyed watching the OVA partly because of your translation and the rest was because they kept showing that Denpa Teki na Kanojo movie poster in the Akikan! anime so I couldn't get it out of my head.

Its too bad they just completely cut Benika out of the anime though :( . Heard they'll be turning out another episode later this year for covering the 2nd volume too right?
elkin
Project Translator
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Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:39 pm
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Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by elkin »

Yeah, they're doing one episode for each volume of the book. Personally, I find the first book the best, but maybe watching the second OVA will change my thoughts on that.

And uhh I stuck in that line cuz I just copied the template XD Will put up more... eventually.
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Coal
Astral Realm

Re: Denpa Teki na Kanojo

Post by Coal »

I do hope this will be continued eventually...
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