Original Light Novel: Lords of Sorcery

[Darklor]

Yeah, but why? I am sure that this thread is wrong here...

[Mystes]

Yeah, but why? I am sure that this thread is wrong here...

I think so too.

[ShadowZeroHeart]

Reading this makes me imagine it as a visual novel... As a story, its a little plain.

The plot sadly, does not interest me, perhaps due to it being similar to one of my favorite stories, SLAYERS, which started off with Lina Inverse stealing items/money from bandits(who cannot complain, since they are SUPPOSED to be the bad guys) and meeting Gourry, the swordsman with a rare sword Lina wanna steal.

Overall, its quite okay, except i find the bandit boy a little weird to not notice the number of people was not right, thus requiring help. I mean, if he is talented or skilled, he probably would at least know his numbers. You might instead say that he noticed, but the sorcerer just helped without realizing that the boy had control over that?

And at the last part, the merchant said told him to get lost, but though i can understand his frustrations, its weird since they are on a road, its strange to tell someone on the road to get lost, its not like the sorcerer came to his shop or something.

You probably would need more to get the readers tuned in, there is nothing that is really eye-catching in the teaser i have seen, so it is hard to point out about the story, but there are not too many errors, so its quite okay in general.

[Darklor]

Hm? Why is this thread in the teaser feedback section?

Someone probably moved it...

But there was never created a proper teaser page or?