Enjoy prologue if you would be able to, comment and criticise. I have a long way to go, after all.
Spoiler! :
0/It's not my introduction.
Hey, have you ever thought that you’re just a point in one grand line which is made from billions of people?
That you’re nothing special, and you have nothing to be proud at?
That you can’t do anything to improve this filthy and stinky world?
I have. That’s the curse of having too much intellect. You’re starting to think of things which you shouldn’t touch yet, which you cannot accept with your childish mind. And because of that you need to run away from the cruel reality.
I wanted to change the world. And I knew that I couldn’t do anything.
I wanted to save, yet I could only hurt people.
I wanted a power, but I knew that I didn’t have any special abilities to begin with, and I decided to give up on training my body.
It was frustrating to know that you have no power to change something. I was on the verge of breaking down. I even seriously thought of suicide, but I was too clever for that and thought that it was nothing but meaningless escapism.
And so, I lived on. I created a nutshell where I can hide in and proceeded to exist. I forgot the concept of friends and decided to keep people away from me.
Who knew that new step in the real life would be so painful? My nutshell cracked. I wanted to make friends anew, but my last train was lost in the past.
Heh. It’s really a stupid story of mine. People call such characters like me a ‘Marty Sue’, right. They’re usually not wrong. Yet, they’re not right, either. It’s like the stupid view of the things when you think that half-filled and half-empty bottles aren’t the same. Isn’t it ridiculous?
Don’t bother to answer, it was a rhetoric question. I know that I’m harsh and unreasonable but I can’t do anything about it. It’s my style, after all. And I just like jumping from one topic to another without answering any of your questions.
No misunderstanding, please. I’m still acting like I’m a normal person in real life. I’m one despite the fact that I’m only an empty shell of a human. And I hate it.
Such a banal story is my life. You're not bored yet? In any case, I can only go on.
Listen to the sound. If you’re not able to, just imagine it.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
The clocks stopped,
Yet, the pendulum has only begun swaying,
And Paradox is beginning its game.
The story’s starting.
Hey, have you ever thought that you’re just a point in one grand line which is made from billions of people?
That you’re nothing special, and you have nothing to be proud at?
That you can’t do anything to improve this filthy and stinky world?
I have. That’s the curse of having too much intellect. You’re starting to think of things which you shouldn’t touch yet, which you cannot accept with your childish mind. And because of that you need to run away from the cruel reality.
I wanted to change the world. And I knew that I couldn’t do anything.
I wanted to save, yet I could only hurt people.
I wanted a power, but I knew that I didn’t have any special abilities to begin with, and I decided to give up on training my body.
It was frustrating to know that you have no power to change something. I was on the verge of breaking down. I even seriously thought of suicide, but I was too clever for that and thought that it was nothing but meaningless escapism.
And so, I lived on. I created a nutshell where I can hide in and proceeded to exist. I forgot the concept of friends and decided to keep people away from me.
Who knew that new step in the real life would be so painful? My nutshell cracked. I wanted to make friends anew, but my last train was lost in the past.
Heh. It’s really a stupid story of mine. People call such characters like me a ‘Marty Sue’, right. They’re usually not wrong. Yet, they’re not right, either. It’s like the stupid view of the things when you think that half-filled and half-empty bottles aren’t the same. Isn’t it ridiculous?
Don’t bother to answer, it was a rhetoric question. I know that I’m harsh and unreasonable but I can’t do anything about it. It’s my style, after all. And I just like jumping from one topic to another without answering any of your questions.
No misunderstanding, please. I’m still acting like I’m a normal person in real life. I’m one despite the fact that I’m only an empty shell of a human. And I hate it.
Such a banal story is my life. You're not bored yet? In any case, I can only go on.
Listen to the sound. If you’re not able to, just imagine it.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
The clocks stopped,
Yet, the pendulum has only begun swaying,
And Paradox is beginning its game.
The story’s starting.
Spoiler! :
1/The dream isn’t kind.
There are some people in the world who claim they are able to control their dreams. They are enjoying their meaningless and worthless imaginary worlds. It’s their own safe haven where no one can harm them or spoil their fun. I’m not one of them.
Personally, I think it’s a ridiculous theory. The brain needs a rest, not some half-assed euphoria. And if they are really bending the imaginary rules then their brain would just wear out in a few years. However, there’s one ‘but’ which I cannot deny. You might be able to realize that your dream is just a dream, and it isn’t reality.
Let's talk about REM sleep aka Rapid Eye Movement sleep phase. You know, the sleep structure is rather complicated, but, if you put it simply, it can be divided on two main parts which are NREM and REM. The first one consists of four more parts, but I don’t want to stray off the topic. It would be both tiring and boring, and I don’t have all the time in the world.
REM sleep phase is more interesting. Your body isn’t moving at that part of sleep, yet your brain’s working like you’re wide awake. Funny paradox, isn’t it? You see, REM sleep is also very important for your psychic and transportation of information. If you would be constantly woken up by somebody at this stage you might become paranoid. And it’s not fun at all.
However, it isn’t the main part of my explanation. I cannot take more time to explain my problem, though, since it’s simply too weird for me who is currently standing on the hot plain ground in the ragged clothes to think about sleep structure.
Let me depict the scene before me. The sun is high in the sky and its ultraviolet rays are way too bright to my liking. There are no clouds right now and it’s hot. So hot that heated, hard ground, full of cracks, is just like a frying pan for my bare legs. There are no trees whatsoever around, and the water seems to be far away from me. Certainly, you couldn’t find more fitting place for your archenemy from the North.
“It would have been a funny joke if I wasn’t here instead of my non-existing archenemy.” Grumbling, I jumped high in the air letting my legs cool off. It was such a pity that there wasn’t any wind now, but it still was better than having your legs roasted. However, cruel and merciless gravity returned me on the ground making me wince from the heat. Because of that I automatically jumped once again despite knowing that I cannot just change the climate by wishing so. And after soft landing I started running.
There's one simple reason to explain my strange actions. I dislike pain which is messing up with my mind at the moment. Also, it's more clever to find some water instead of wasting my time. By the way, I have one more thing to say about my current situation, but I'm afraid that explanation would only bring me misfortune.
While I’m on the tiring stroll in the desert I’d prefer to continue my interrupted thought about dreams. You see, this strange activity of our brain allows me to understand that everything around me right now is a complicated dream. And it’s not something that every human can realize before he or she is woken up. Really, most people think that their dream is reality and because of that a mere nightmare is so frightening for them. It’s ridiculous if you think about it but that’s how human’s brain works. It uses and compiles from every bit of information you’ve seen, heard or felt a realistic picture. You cannot dream about something you’ve never known; that’s the reality.
But allow me tell you one thing which is bound to be said by every teacher in your school. ‘Every rule has an exception.’ I bet, you already know what I’m talking about. That’s it; it’s all nothing, but a dream about something which I’ve never seen in my life.
It’s a bit difficult to explain, but- oh, have you ever seen a mirage in your dream? I do right now.
Yep, there is a small waterhole surrounded by palm trees. It looks like it’s right in my hand, yet it’s quite far away from me because of refraction of sunlight in the atmosphere. Neverthless, it’s a tempting illusion that tries and drills its way to my brain, and I nearly lost my control over my crazy mind although I understood that it isn’t real. Just like everything around me.
Hey, you don’t think that some random man who never runs for more than ten seconds per day can keep blabbering about his dream-related problems without any signs of tiredness, do you? I’m a bookworm, not some athlete. And that’s exactly why this is a dream. I can do here whatever I want to so long as it doesn’t defy laws of this world. For example, I cannot fly or send supersonic punches via the air like a certain martial artist from one rather famous anime. But, running without any restrictions on my body doesn’t bend the rules so I can pull it off.
Yet, my mind is making my small exercise a bit hard. My breath is hot and erratic, my legs are not listening to my commands, and my head is dizzy. It’s related to the dry air which made my back wet from the unpleasant sweat, but the main reason is my damned mind. Ahh, it annoys me to no end. My imagination is restricted by my rationality and fake sense of reality, so, while it’s not a problem for me to run, my psychic is suffering. And the feeling that something bad might happen right the next moment is making me tense.
“C’mon, it’s just my imagination.” I tried to encourage myself but my half-hearted attempt failed miserably. My legs are heavy like somebody filled them with hot iron, but they aren’t stopping. If I trip and fall on the ground I won’t be able to stand up again. This realization made my heart race from the possibility of such stupid death which would surely be nominated for the Darwin Awards. “My. Death. Won’t. Be. Stupid!”
Sudden burst of adrenaline in my blood let me continue my idiotic run. Don’t be mistaken, though. I’m not so stupid as to be energized because of some silly words. I’m not interested in saving my life for a more fitting death, either. I just noticed one thing which was the worst kind of situation I could be in the desert, alone, without any weapon in my hands. You see, a dozen of horsemen were too close to my liking. Long story short, before I noticed it they were hot on my tail, shouting some nonsense with anger in their voices.
“Rae jou loe gih!”
“Fui nye kio hyn!”
I can only guess what they are trying to order me, sorry. It’s one more nail in the coffin of a theory which was something along with this line ‘You can understand every word in your dream’. As you can see in my case, it’s not entirely true.
My legs are touching the ground only for a mere moment, and I’m almost floating in the air, trying to shake off my pursuers. Sadly, I’m not faster than their pure-blooded horses, so I eventulaly ended up being in the range of their arrows. ‘Uh-oh, it’s not good at all…’
The whistle of the arrow surprised me, while the arrow itself pierced my thigh. I immediately fell on the ground face-first. It was painful landing, but I was more bothered by the arrow which seriously restricted my movements.
“Damn it…” I moaned in pain and quickly broke the arrow in my leg in two, rolling to the side. I bit my lip, trying to bear the pain from the wound, but the final result was more than just satisfying. All other arrows got stuck in the ground near me. Yet, I wasn’t able to run away anymore, so I could only wait for my death and take a look at my killer.
My wandering gaze finally caught the sight of the bow woman who shot me down. It was a beautiful girl whose face left me speechless. I could easily tell that she had Caucasian origin, but there was something Asian in her features. Her eyes were light blue (their color reminded me about the sky high above me), her fair hair was long and beautiful. Her clothes (red and golden dress with zoomorphic ornament on it hinted that she was a warrior and had quite a high standing in her tribe) were light and pretty good, but it was made out of fur which was quite shocking. Yet, my knowledge quickly told me that nomads wore the fur for millennia and it was quite effecting in the steppe. It was the substitute for the lack of air conditioning which was saving their skin from the heat and cold. Her hair dress was pointy like a hood but it was much more fitting a princess.
“Can I consider it as a lucky death?” I muttered under my breath, trying to deceive myself with foolish bravado. Alas, no death was lucky; its cold hands always turned my ride to one end in the suffering. Damn it. Why I couldn’t live even a half an hour here?
“Tye poe Jui kae,” The princess said in bell-like voice pointing her now unsheathed sword at me. Her comrades, or rather bodyguards, didn't risk to steal her prey, so they simply started circling around us. “Ry fiu dea kae.”
It was my death sentence. I could only nod my head and look in her deep eyes, as her blade pierced my heart. In my head was spinning only one thought, ‘Why all my dreams must be ended with my own death?’ before my mind eventually shut down and sent me in the real world.
There are some people in the world who claim they are able to control their dreams. They are enjoying their meaningless and worthless imaginary worlds. It’s their own safe haven where no one can harm them or spoil their fun. I’m not one of them.
Personally, I think it’s a ridiculous theory. The brain needs a rest, not some half-assed euphoria. And if they are really bending the imaginary rules then their brain would just wear out in a few years. However, there’s one ‘but’ which I cannot deny. You might be able to realize that your dream is just a dream, and it isn’t reality.
Let's talk about REM sleep aka Rapid Eye Movement sleep phase. You know, the sleep structure is rather complicated, but, if you put it simply, it can be divided on two main parts which are NREM and REM. The first one consists of four more parts, but I don’t want to stray off the topic. It would be both tiring and boring, and I don’t have all the time in the world.
REM sleep phase is more interesting. Your body isn’t moving at that part of sleep, yet your brain’s working like you’re wide awake. Funny paradox, isn’t it? You see, REM sleep is also very important for your psychic and transportation of information. If you would be constantly woken up by somebody at this stage you might become paranoid. And it’s not fun at all.
However, it isn’t the main part of my explanation. I cannot take more time to explain my problem, though, since it’s simply too weird for me who is currently standing on the hot plain ground in the ragged clothes to think about sleep structure.
Let me depict the scene before me. The sun is high in the sky and its ultraviolet rays are way too bright to my liking. There are no clouds right now and it’s hot. So hot that heated, hard ground, full of cracks, is just like a frying pan for my bare legs. There are no trees whatsoever around, and the water seems to be far away from me. Certainly, you couldn’t find more fitting place for your archenemy from the North.
“It would have been a funny joke if I wasn’t here instead of my non-existing archenemy.” Grumbling, I jumped high in the air letting my legs cool off. It was such a pity that there wasn’t any wind now, but it still was better than having your legs roasted. However, cruel and merciless gravity returned me on the ground making me wince from the heat. Because of that I automatically jumped once again despite knowing that I cannot just change the climate by wishing so. And after soft landing I started running.
There's one simple reason to explain my strange actions. I dislike pain which is messing up with my mind at the moment. Also, it's more clever to find some water instead of wasting my time. By the way, I have one more thing to say about my current situation, but I'm afraid that explanation would only bring me misfortune.
While I’m on the tiring stroll in the desert I’d prefer to continue my interrupted thought about dreams. You see, this strange activity of our brain allows me to understand that everything around me right now is a complicated dream. And it’s not something that every human can realize before he or she is woken up. Really, most people think that their dream is reality and because of that a mere nightmare is so frightening for them. It’s ridiculous if you think about it but that’s how human’s brain works. It uses and compiles from every bit of information you’ve seen, heard or felt a realistic picture. You cannot dream about something you’ve never known; that’s the reality.
But allow me tell you one thing which is bound to be said by every teacher in your school. ‘Every rule has an exception.’ I bet, you already know what I’m talking about. That’s it; it’s all nothing, but a dream about something which I’ve never seen in my life.
It’s a bit difficult to explain, but- oh, have you ever seen a mirage in your dream? I do right now.
Yep, there is a small waterhole surrounded by palm trees. It looks like it’s right in my hand, yet it’s quite far away from me because of refraction of sunlight in the atmosphere. Neverthless, it’s a tempting illusion that tries and drills its way to my brain, and I nearly lost my control over my crazy mind although I understood that it isn’t real. Just like everything around me.
Hey, you don’t think that some random man who never runs for more than ten seconds per day can keep blabbering about his dream-related problems without any signs of tiredness, do you? I’m a bookworm, not some athlete. And that’s exactly why this is a dream. I can do here whatever I want to so long as it doesn’t defy laws of this world. For example, I cannot fly or send supersonic punches via the air like a certain martial artist from one rather famous anime. But, running without any restrictions on my body doesn’t bend the rules so I can pull it off.
Yet, my mind is making my small exercise a bit hard. My breath is hot and erratic, my legs are not listening to my commands, and my head is dizzy. It’s related to the dry air which made my back wet from the unpleasant sweat, but the main reason is my damned mind. Ahh, it annoys me to no end. My imagination is restricted by my rationality and fake sense of reality, so, while it’s not a problem for me to run, my psychic is suffering. And the feeling that something bad might happen right the next moment is making me tense.
“C’mon, it’s just my imagination.” I tried to encourage myself but my half-hearted attempt failed miserably. My legs are heavy like somebody filled them with hot iron, but they aren’t stopping. If I trip and fall on the ground I won’t be able to stand up again. This realization made my heart race from the possibility of such stupid death which would surely be nominated for the Darwin Awards. “My. Death. Won’t. Be. Stupid!”
Sudden burst of adrenaline in my blood let me continue my idiotic run. Don’t be mistaken, though. I’m not so stupid as to be energized because of some silly words. I’m not interested in saving my life for a more fitting death, either. I just noticed one thing which was the worst kind of situation I could be in the desert, alone, without any weapon in my hands. You see, a dozen of horsemen were too close to my liking. Long story short, before I noticed it they were hot on my tail, shouting some nonsense with anger in their voices.
“Rae jou loe gih!”
“Fui nye kio hyn!”
I can only guess what they are trying to order me, sorry. It’s one more nail in the coffin of a theory which was something along with this line ‘You can understand every word in your dream’. As you can see in my case, it’s not entirely true.
My legs are touching the ground only for a mere moment, and I’m almost floating in the air, trying to shake off my pursuers. Sadly, I’m not faster than their pure-blooded horses, so I eventulaly ended up being in the range of their arrows. ‘Uh-oh, it’s not good at all…’
The whistle of the arrow surprised me, while the arrow itself pierced my thigh. I immediately fell on the ground face-first. It was painful landing, but I was more bothered by the arrow which seriously restricted my movements.
“Damn it…” I moaned in pain and quickly broke the arrow in my leg in two, rolling to the side. I bit my lip, trying to bear the pain from the wound, but the final result was more than just satisfying. All other arrows got stuck in the ground near me. Yet, I wasn’t able to run away anymore, so I could only wait for my death and take a look at my killer.
My wandering gaze finally caught the sight of the bow woman who shot me down. It was a beautiful girl whose face left me speechless. I could easily tell that she had Caucasian origin, but there was something Asian in her features. Her eyes were light blue (their color reminded me about the sky high above me), her fair hair was long and beautiful. Her clothes (red and golden dress with zoomorphic ornament on it hinted that she was a warrior and had quite a high standing in her tribe) were light and pretty good, but it was made out of fur which was quite shocking. Yet, my knowledge quickly told me that nomads wore the fur for millennia and it was quite effecting in the steppe. It was the substitute for the lack of air conditioning which was saving their skin from the heat and cold. Her hair dress was pointy like a hood but it was much more fitting a princess.
“Can I consider it as a lucky death?” I muttered under my breath, trying to deceive myself with foolish bravado. Alas, no death was lucky; its cold hands always turned my ride to one end in the suffering. Damn it. Why I couldn’t live even a half an hour here?
“Tye poe Jui kae,” The princess said in bell-like voice pointing her now unsheathed sword at me. Her comrades, or rather bodyguards, didn't risk to steal her prey, so they simply started circling around us. “Ry fiu dea kae.”
It was my death sentence. I could only nod my head and look in her deep eyes, as her blade pierced my heart. In my head was spinning only one thought, ‘Why all my dreams must be ended with my own death?’ before my mind eventually shut down and sent me in the real world.
It would be hell of editing, I guess.