OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

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OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

I would love to introduce to you a great OLN that i've been reading lately!

The Author has given me permission to host her/his work on Baka-Tsuki.
So without delay let me introduce:

Mother of Learning by Nobody103

Story Synopsis:
Nobody103 wrote: Zorian is a teenage mage of humble birth and slightly above-average skill, attending his third year of education at Cyoria's magical academy. He is a driven and irritable young man, consumed by a desire to ensure his own future and free himself of the influence of his family, whom he resents for favoring his brothers over him. Consequently, he has no time for pointless distractions or paying attention to other people's problems.

As it happens, time is something he is about to get plenty of. On the eve of the Cyoria's annual summer festival, he is killed and brought back to the beginning of the month, just before he was about to take a train to Cyoria. Suddenly trapped in a time loop with no clear end or exit, Zorian will have to look both within and without to unravel the mystery before him. And he does have to unravel it, for the time loop hadn't been made for his sake and dangers lurk everywhere...

Repetition is the mother of learning, but Zorian will have to first make sure he survives to try again - in a world of magic, even a time traveler isn't safe from those who wish him ill.
Think of it as: Elder Scroll (Video Game) in terms of magic and races + Groundhog day + All you Need to Kill (A.K.A "Edge of Tomorrow" Hollywood name).

Currently there are 25 chapters and on going, it will be online soon.

For all discussions regarding this OLN, please do so here.
"Please note, we have added a consequence for failure.Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official test record, followed by death. Good luck."

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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by gamerbaki »

Mr. Admin, the storyline is quite interesting.

The main character was trapped in a time loop where he must survive the next events he already anticipated.
Of course, every choice leads to different results which all of them will end in two main aftermaths--whether he will live or die.

To put it in simple words--the storyline is quite unique in the idea itself.
Although I don't have a rough imagination about the story itself, I'm still curious on how the story will go.

Anyway, I hope that the story you are presenting will be posted in the near future.

--gamerbaki
Writer of Tales of Mysidia : Paradox Heroes.

If you have extra time, kindly go for my thread and have a taste of my story. Any comments are welcome.

Chance are, that I might be doing the same thing on yours ^_^V
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by starwarscards »

Just read though all 25 chapter in one go and got to say, great story. If this was printed I would buy it, especially since it is better then some of the books I do own!
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

starwarscards wrote:Just read though all 25 chapter in one go and got to say, great story. If this was printed I would buy it, especially since it is better then some of the books I do own!
Chapter 26 will be released after the 20th of July, so keep your eyes on it! :D
"Please note, we have added a consequence for failure.Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official test record, followed by death. Good luck."

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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

All chapters are now on the wiki, but they will need wiki formatting for the Baka-Tsuki Android Reader app, so if you like reading please help by adding some spaces between sentences and making blocks of paragraph and correct some occasional spelling. :)
"Please note, we have added a consequence for failure.Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official test record, followed by death. Good luck."

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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by Aorii »

What about a feedback thread that the author actually reads? xD

Enjoyed the intro, but gosh is the format frustrating. Paragraphs are in bad need of clear divisions, instead of packing entire conversations (sometimes across multiple topics) into a long stream of he-said-she-said sentences with no line breaks in-between.

Also should probably be added to that OLN sidebar section so it can actually be found (and replace Ancient Magic Arc which hasn't updated like ever ^^")
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by starwarscards »

Planing on rereading it on the 14th at a slower pace so I will fix it up if it is not done by then.

Edit: Do you want me to change the paragraphs as they are here or is there some other guidelines you want me to follow?
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by Cobra34 »

I really loved the last chapter, mostly thanks to Taven. You see, through the novel it has always annoyed me how she looked down upon Zorian so much, to the point of calling him "roach" since she sees him as a pathetic insect that is beneath her.
One of the things that drives me to read this novel is the moment she stopped disrespecting him and finally that moment came last chapter. For the first time in the entire novel Taven actually refered to Zorian with his given name instead of the insulting nickname she always used. To accomplish this amazing feat it was not enough to beat her in battle, it was also necessary to save her life.
starwarscards wrote: Planing on rereading it on the 14th at a slower pace so I will fix it up if it is not done by then.
That would be awesome. Thanks.
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

starwarscards wrote: Edit: Do you want me to change the paragraphs as they are here or is there some other guidelines you want me to follow?
Please do. I like to keep the it as close to what the author intended. Barring spelling and some obvious grammatical error (e.g. "retreated" to "retreat" to match the rest of the sentence use of present tense)
"Please note, we have added a consequence for failure.Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official test record, followed by death. Good luck."

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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by Himeko Inaba »

I read that fictionpress version through chapter 3. While I can tell that the author put some effort into creating his setting, I haven't been enjoying the characters and nothing has even begun happening yet. I know there's a time loop coming up, but so far it's been a lot of reading about a bored, irritated teenager going through the banal motions of high school. About how this is mildly annoying and that person is rather bothersome, and how the schoolwork is unreasonably difficult. The prose is very dry, too, so it was hard to get through without any humor. By chapter 3, I was just reading it on OGTO's recommendation. I'll read a story for pitched feelings or interesting situations, but with nothing happening, I haven't been able to keep reading past that. The magic system alone isn't enough to carry the story; we learned a lot of factoids but they aren't relevant to current events (studying and not wanting to go to the dance).

Boredom and irritation just don't make good escapism. I know the real subject of the story is the time loop, so my advice is to completely restructure the story. Start with the first or second iteration of the time loop, or whenever awesome things are happening. Save the 'wake up onii-chan!' scene for later if you use it at all. We all know what high school is like, so the author should be able to skip almost all the exposition. The characters are nondescript enough that they can simply be introduced in the thick of things. I mean, nothing that has happened so far even needs explaining. It's probably better to introduce the main character like that too - we'll get how despondent he is quickly. In short, all this background isn't really necessary. I really like the idea of a time loop centered around someone other than the main character, but as a time travel fan, I recognize how much patience this genre requires of the reader - because of all the repetition. It's very important to cut out all the boring parts and spend more words on the awesome ones. If the background is both necessary and irreducible, return it it later when readers already long to know what happens next.
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

Thank you for the feedback, i have been informed that the author certainly reads this discussion and associated comments.

While i can understand your concerns, i actually like the mundane dry poses, probably because it's primary objective is world and character building.

The mundane and "boring" build is to make as much contrast as you can later on in the story, as they say: "without the lows, how can you tell what is the highs?".
And this is why even with seinen novels that for characters to grow, they must "fail" somewhat, so you can build upon.

But i can also admit his/her early chapters are slightly rusty, but that's the nature of writing something for the first time. Thus i can only assure you that in the last 3 years, the later chapters only gets better.

You could say, both the character and the author level up together. :lol:

I'm sure, one day the author might revise the early chapter, but i can only hope s/he will do so after they finish with this novel. :p
"Please note, we have added a consequence for failure.Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official test record, followed by death. Good luck."

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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by handsfeet »

Well, to the writer with the funny name, this novel´s really good! :D And regarding what´s been said about the beginning, I think it´s refreshing that the sister´s not all loving (she´s such an ass XD), which pretty much every novel has lately - the main character´s all moody but his sister has a thing for him for some reason <--this has become like a basic part of light novels lately, in other words, it´s original that you broke that cliché, and personally it´s interesting for me because my little sister´s nice and I can´t imagine her being so mean (she´s more like a cliché light novel little sister). Regarding the story progress, I found the pace to be very smooth, and I´ll look forward to the upcoming chapter :)
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by Himeko Inaba »

handsfeet:
You seem to have more patience than me for slow starts. What chapter does the time loop begin?

BTW, were you pleased with the little sister's characterization, or simply that she was different from little sister characters in other LNs? It wasn't quite clear. Either way, I'm glad you enjoyed the OLN.

OGTO:
OGTO wrote:But i can also admit his/her early chapters are slightly rusty, but that's the nature of writing something for the first time. Thus i can only assure you that in the last 3 years, the later chapters only gets better.

You could say, both the character and the author level up together.
I won't change my judgement of a piece because of the author's age or experience. Those don't interest me; I just like books. Besides that, I wouldn't like to hear "Okay, to start with, I'll have to judge your work by lower standards..."

It's a rather mean thing to say.
The mundane and "boring" build is to make as much contrast as you can later on in the story, as they say: "without the lows, how can you tell what is the highs?".
And this is why even with seinen novels that for characters to grow, they must "fail" somewhat, so you can build upon.
This video might interest you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptk93Ay ... vPCOr_Uydg
It's about video games and not novels, but the idea is the same: start out with a very simplistic program that can't even be called a game, and then gradually add rules while advancing the plot. The video's author agrees with you, so you're surely not alone in your opinion, but I do not. I'd rather jump into a Rise of the Triad than screw around with that. Would you like to be subjected to an hour of tic-tac-toe before you were allowed to play a nontrivial game like connect four or pentago?

Mother of Learning is in competition with all other LNs and time travel books, so genre readers will need a reason to choose it over other ones that are more exciting, sooner. For a reader like me, it's in competition with all other books in existence. Even if it gets better later on, I don't have time to read three or five or ten boring chapters when I could start reading something that's good all the way through.

That may seem harsh, but if nobody103 has a story worth telling, he should be able to ensnare readers with it right away. More people would enjoy it then. Once the reader is hooked, he'll probably be generous with his attention. It's just a matter of doing that early on.

About the lows and highs and character growth - we all know what boredom is like, so we don't need a novel to remind us. Reading books for pleasure is about getting mental stimulation we don't get from everyday life - whether it's because we're relaxing from real life or compensating for it :wink: Similarly, it's fine to start with a bland character who becomes more interesting, but it's not fine for everything to be bland.

And, when you get down to it, you have to decide whether you want to read a book by its first three chapters. You can hardly judge it by the last.
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by starwarscards »

Not saying anything about MoL just a reply to Himeko Inaba.

I would agree it is nice to have a book start good and stay good all the way through but... that is most of the time not the way it is. With that being so I would say I would rather have a slow start but have it pick up after a few chapters then a great start and the rest disappointing (which I feel happens to a lot of books). Stop and think how you feel (how I feel at least) when those happen. At the end of the first book you thing "glad I stuck with it" while at the end of the second you think "well that was a waste of time."

So ya in a perfect world I would only read great books too but... ya those are not the easiest to find.


P.S. LOL I am definitely tired almost signed it with the 4 tildes :P
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Re: OLN: Mother of Learning - Discussion

Post by onizuka-gto »

Latest chapter was great!

Zorian always gave me to familiarity vibe but i couldn't really pin it down....then half way though this latest chapter (26) it struck me.

MCGUYVER! Yeah, he's the Mage (Magician?) version, always finding out ways and techniques to out think his opponents! If you can't face them heads on, just go along the side until you find a crack to get past! :lol:
Spoiler! :
Although i was sad about the spiders! I hope Novelty got away. :cry:
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