X\C [X Cross] by RiX - Chapters 1, 2, 3 [WIP]

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:45 am

.doc version
(I will soon make a website, or, if I have luck, it`ll be upped on BS wiki page ^^)

Progress:

Prologue [Entering the Fray]_________________100%
Chapter 1 [Arrival of Enemy Unknown]_________100%
Chapter 2 [Enlightment]____________________ 100%
Chapter 3 [Destructions Prelude]_____________100%
Chapter 4 [Truth? XCting!]____________________0%
Epilogue [No Name yet]_____________________0%
E-mail Archives____________________________0%
Author`s notes____________________________0%
Editor`s notes_____________________________0%
Pictures__________________________________0%

I wrote this because I got pissed when I heard that after 8 volumes HaruhixKyon relationship haven`t progressed. So mainly, this is [light] Haruhi x Kyon fanfic lol. Chapter 1+2+prologue is 20 pages long [A4 with TNR s12]. Have fun with reading it.

This is my biggest project yet, tho I did write some long stories before... (my personal record - RiKeR entering the Matrix - parody, 40 pages got lost somewhere :\)

BTW: If someone here have drawing skills, please contact me. I need someone to draw the pics since my drawing skills suck.

Feel free to post your comment.

onizuka-gto · Post by **onizuka-gto** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 7:28 pm

Well since not many people has commented on this, i gather it is because few people have the free time to download the document and read it.

So I will post a teaser, for you lazy people.

Suzumiya Haruhi Volume X\C
[X Cross Fatal Domination Sweet Dragon Love Sealed Abyss Trembling]*
*Work-title

Prologue
[Entering the fray]

Another boring casual day. Well, maybe in the real world... because at the moment, I was fighting a young black dragon in a deep dungeon. I tried to hit him with my dwarven battleaxe, but his carapace was too thick. I barely managed to dodge his claws. Normally I wouldn’t dare to attack a black dragon, even if it was a young one like this one, but the reward is great. Black dragons are one of the most annoying creatures. They’re agile, strong and intelligent. From what I heard, the size should indicate that this one is approximately 200 years old. That means he’s a dragon teenager. Still, he is 6 times as intelligent as my mighty dwarven warrior. Argh… that pisses me off! Time to end this!

I rolled my die again. Miss...
Hey, are you sure that this dragon has such a high AC?

“Of course! You know, he’s like a dragon after all, right? And stuff.”
On the other side of the table sat Kris. The only normal human here, not counting myself.

“And now... ”
Kris rolled his die.
“`kay...”

I looked astonished at Kris’ hand as he was rolling his die again. Please, not 11, not 11, no—
“19 damage plus bonus from strength!”
Crap no!
“I`m sorry, you die! I tried to warn you! Black Drags aren`t an easy opponent, you know.”
Yes, riiiiiiiight. You tried to warn me! You were threatening to throw me in jail if I didn`t kill that dragon!
“Oh, I did? Well, never mind then.”

Wait, what`s with that crappy attempt of runaway from the topic?
I was about to say that, when Kris began to pack his character sheets and dungeon maps.
“And that means we`ll have to make a new char for you.”

Ha! This time I`ll be a powerful wizard!

“Not so fast, my brother, not so fast...”

Hey, what`s with your tone? And why are you smiling? That freaks me out!

I looked at Nagato-san who was sitting in her usual place, reading a book. I wonder why she doesn`t want to play with us. She likes computer games, doesn’t she? RPGs are even more fun in my opinion. Maybe I should replace her book with a Players Guide someday? Yeah, that`d be a good idea. And I`d sure like to see her reaction.

“...”

After being awakened from my daydreaming by Kris’ noises, I suddenly realized that me and Nagato were staring at each other without saying anything and I had a creepy smile on my face. Damn, I`m glad that Haruhi didn`t see this. I`m sure I`d be used as a goblin feed if she did. I turned my gaze away from Nagato without a word. After a minute of silence, Kris began to sing some foreign song. It was nice, so I tried to memorize the rhythm. Then suddenly we heard a knocking on the door.

“Come in, brother!”
Kris stopped his song and turned around to see who entered.

It was our ever smiling esper, Koizumi Itsuki.

“Hey, sorry for being late but I had something to do... Did the session take place already?”

Yes, I just got slaughtered by a black dragon. Don`t remind me of it or I`ll cast silence on you.

“Oh, the one we were discussing with Dolovien`s King? I thought we could kill it if we‘d come for him with a whole party... Suzumiya-san would like to participate in a small dragon hunt.”

Sorry, I was so bored that I decided to go all alone, okay? Happy now?

“By the way, where is Haruhi-san?”
Kris, please. I already asked you to stop addressing her like that! It sounds stupid!

“I saw her in the cafeteria, she was probably buying some food for our next adventure. Well, she won’t be happy when she hears you got killed already.”

Koizumi looked at me.
Please, don`t say I`ll be blamed if she makes a Closed Dimension because of that.

“Not really. I also look forward to the reward.”

Is that so? Then why are you looking at me that way? It`s not normal for you to—

“Brothers, please, RPGs are for fun, not for arguing. We can always create new characters and participate in more dragon huntings. Now, shake your hands and may the Morr bless you.”

Well, I can`t say he hasn’t got a point. It`s only a game.

“Yes, I think so too.”

“So, what’re we gonna do now?”

Kris finished packing our adventuring stuff and sat on the chair.
Do whatever you want. I`m here only for Asahina-san`s tea.

“Are you sure? You`re not here for ‘her’?”

God, again?! How many times do I have to tell you that Haruhi and I are not involved in any romantic relationship at all? Does it really look like that from the outside? Then I`ll need to go out with Asahina-san a few times to fix it! Well, not that it would be so bad...

“Okay, I get it. Not that I care really anyways.”

He suddenly lost his evil smile and turned his gaze away.
Oh come on! The whole school knows that you secretly love Haruhi! I don`t really know what you see in her anyway, but at least don`t try to deny it! It only makes you look like an idiot!

“Nah.”

He gave me an incomprehensible answer and waved his hand.

”Anyways, do you know what we are here for today?”

Didn`t your 2 monthly membership teach you anything? We`re here for no particular reason. Well, maybe except me.

“So, we`re gonna like sit here `till Haruhi-san comes and then we`ll sit here even longer and do ‘nothing in particular’? Damn yeah! Count me in!”

Then why did you join this club? Oh wait, I guess I know already.

“Shut the hell up, brother.”

“My, my. Now you`re starting the argument. Well, at last it`s about the real world, not a game.”

“Yeah, I know, but--!”

A silent knocking on the door interrupted our little ‘argument’. Ahh! That means our savior is here!

“Come in, for f`s sake!”
Kris, you should be happy that you are able to even see that girl from such a close distance!

“Erm, did something happen?”
Caring like usual, Asahina-san entered the dragon`s lair (as I like to call this clubroom).

“Nah, not really.”
Kris stood up and opened the cupboard. He searched for a couple of seconds, then took out a large hardback book with some foreign characters on it. Well, if I didn`t know that that was the Dungeon Master`s guide, I`d probably think that he`s Nagato-san`s clone.

“I guess we`ll now take our leave, brothers?”
Kris pointed at Asahina-san with his thumb.
I stood up and left the room with the two other guys.

Just another casual day...

You know(...) – Pure Pwnage talking style
Brother – whole ‘brother\sister’ thingy comes from the TESIV: Oblivion’s Dark Brotherhood. That`s how the Brotherhood`s members were addressing each other

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:31 am

Chapter 3 is finished, currently editing rofl.

Otanga · Post by **Otanga** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:37 am

Wow.. I read it and.. i Loved it!!! XD Good Job!

... I must say that the story line is quite interesting actually Very interesting!. Keep it UP! =)

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:05 pm

Otanga wrote:Wow.. I read it

Three w00ts for u! x]

Otanga wrote:.. i Loved it!!! XD Good Job! ... I must say that the story line is quite interesting actually Very interesting!. Keep it UP! =)

I will. Thanks.

the_naming_game · Post by **the_naming_game** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:18 pm

Sadly, I might be one of those "lore maniacs" you referred to in the intro. I'm not one of those that get offended, though.

Incidentally, reading this drove me to start working on a 4-panel. Let's just say that it takes the same attitude towards your story as yours does towards the Haruhi novels. ("Screw the lore!")

Just a few quick comments; more later when I finish up the 4-panel, otherwise it'd spoil the idea.

Interesting premise. I'm not sure where it's going, but that's half the fun. I'm interested in seeing how this turns out. (Though my reasons may not be the best. More on that later.)

The references were pretty obscure to me though. Even with the notes I was pretty much in the dark. Do you think you could add more to them? E.g. the term "pure pwnage" is Greek to anyone who doesn't know what the original phrases were supposed to be like already. And if they knew that, it'd be kind of redundant.

Other than that, keep it up. It takes a bit of bravery to put your work out there for critical eyes to poke at.

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Sat Jul 22, 2006 10:51 am

the_naming_game wrote:Sadly, I might be one of those "lore maniacs" you referred to in the intro. I'm not one of those that get offended, though.

Incidentally, reading this drove me to start working on a 4-panel. Let's just say that it takes the same attitude towards your story as yours does towards the Haruhi novels. ("Screw the lore!")

Just a few quick comments; more later when I finish up the 4-panel, otherwise it'd spoil the idea.

Interesting premise. I'm not sure where it's going, but that's half the fun. I'm interested in seeing how this turns out. (Though my reasons may not be the best. More on that later.)

The references were pretty obscure to me though. Even with the notes I was pretty much in the dark. Do you think you could add more to them? E.g. the term "pure pwnage" is Greek to anyone who doesn't know what the original phrases were supposed to be like already. And if they knew that, it'd be kind of redundant.

Other than that, keep it up. It takes a bit of bravery to put your work out there for critical eyes to poke at.

I`m open to critics. And, that "screw the lore" isn`t my attitude towards SHNY novels lol. Just sarcasm.

And, sorry, english isn`t my national alnguage, what did you mean by that "4 panel"? ^^ Yea, I`m so stupid.

About the references: I`d rather delete the refs list than write about them more... I had a feeling that it`s stupid idea from the beggining... And it looks like I was right lol.

Ontop:
3rd chapter is finished, and I suppose it`ll be the biggest pain for lore maniacs... Or maybe not xP The guy who is editing it is kinda late tho.

~EDIT: Chapter 3 is ready and uploaded.

SubordinateFive · Post by **SubordinateFive** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:00 am

RiXeD: A "4-panel" is a manga or comic strip that has 4 panels. The panels are usually arranged vertically, horizontally, or two-by-two. Click here for more information.

the_naming_game: The 4-panel idea sounds interesting. Are you going to upload it to the forum when it's ready?

the_naming_game · Post by **the_naming_game** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 1:28 am

RiXeD:
I would have never guessed English was a second language for you, actually.

About the "lore" thing.
I don't think you really screwed the lore. Even if your characters are different, they're still recognizable. And you did get many things spot on, especially Kyon's jealousy towards Asahina. I was mostly using the "lore" thing as a roundabout way of saying what I was planning.

notes:
I didn't mean to say the notes were bad -- without the notes, I'd probably be even more confused. I figured out the "weeble and bob" + "pie" reference only because of that note, even though I did have to do a little research. Well, it's up to you if you keep them in there. As far as I'm concerned, any notes are better than no notes. I was just saying more extensive notes would be nicer.

4-panels:
And SubordinateFive is right; it's a comic strip format. It's definitely not limited to Japanese comics, as quite few long running American comics ("Garfield", "Beetle Bailey", "Kudzu", "Dilbert", etc.) use the horizontal 4-panel format. Probably most of the basic comic formats have Western origin, since they really started there. (Not meaning to belittle the Japanese innovations to the comic form, just trying to give due credit.)

Read the latest installment
The plot is definitely getting more interesting. Am slowly getting used to your version of the characters -- it's much less of a thing for me once the story takes hold. Kyon is awfully casual around someone who's trying to kill him, though.

Only two more sections to go? Looking forward to it. I can only hope for my desired ending. I think it's amazing that you mapped out all the chapters beforehand, by the way.

SubordinateFive:
I'm definitely planning on uploading the comic, even if I have to resort to frikkin' stick figures. You'll see the reason for my "dedication" then. It's written already (4-koma are pretty simple, after all.), it's just that the drawing thing is holding things up -- I've drawn plenty of random doodles when I'm bored, but I never realized how hard it is to draw a consistently recognizable person.

Yuki has a few different eye styles depending on who draws her, but they're all consistently cat-like, so after awhile, I've gotten to the point where I can get the eyes down, and the rest more or less follows. But my Kyon is pretty much all over the place. I can go through a string of Kyon-looking faces, and then entirely lose it, especially when I try any expressions. I'm almost at the point where I'm going to print out a bunch of his faces and then get some exact proportions. I've been mostly going for the anime's style for him, but that seems especially sensitive to changes. I've been getting more consistent results with Itou Noiji's eye style for Kyon.

I suppose the artists out there would laugh to hear me coming to grips with these things. ("Told you that art thing wasn't so simple!") And I won't get started on perspective and anatomy, except to say that I thought art was supposed to be fun. I just want to draw sexy legs. Is that too much to ask?

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:09 am

K, I just got back from RPG camp. I hope I`ll be able to finish my fanfic soon, but I`m kinda ill lol.

the_naming_game · Post by **the_naming_game** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:00 pm

hey, RiXeD -- it's been awhile. You still working on this? Uhhh ... hope that illness you mentioned wasn't so bad that...

But in any case, you've gotta pretty good imagination, though I'm pretty removed from the RPG world, so a lot of it goes over my head. I wonder if there's a Haruhi RPG out there...

Are you planning on writing any more fictions? If not Haruhi world, there's always Zero no Tsukaima, right? There's fighting in there, so, dexterity rolls aren't all that out of place.

RiXeD · Post by **RiXeD** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 6:21 am

Nah, it`s rather that I have too many ideas... Dunno which one to use...
And yes, I considered working on a fanfic for another anime... ZnT is very nice (maybe because I`m Sha-Nazi xP), but I`m not sure if I should damage it`s lore... I don`t know it too well, and it`s much more complicated than SHNY.

Here`s what I got so far on chapter 4:

Spoiler! :

the_naming_game · Post by **the_naming_game** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:15 am

(could've sworn I replied to this already...)

Nice cliffhanger to stop on...

I think I'm starting to understand Kris a little more now that he's shown some of his motivation. Before, I honestly had no idea why he was acting how he was. Or rather, I had a conclusion ready, but one that I didn't like.

The reference to "Kain" was cryptic to me, but I guess that will get explained later.

There's barely any Nagato in the story... (cries)

ZnT
Well, the anime's finished, seemingly with all the ends tied up. (any further conflict has to be new or repeated.) Haruhi with its constant emotional/relationship tension still has a lot more fanfiction potential to me.

But I may change my mind as the ZnT novel gets translated further...

Armanewb · Post by **Armanewb** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:51 pm

Does anyone still have a copy of this? The link was taken down but I'd really like to read it

the_naming_game · Post by **the_naming_game** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:59 am

Okay, I haven't really been forum checking much. I've attached a zip containing the original Word doc and a pdf conversion as well. You have to login in order to download or to even see that there IS a download, because ... that's how this forum does attachments. Sorry.