God, this took me a few hours to write. Now this chapter is just the beginning. Oh man what have I gotten myself into.
One of the characters is just the first translator to "join" the forum.
NOTE: None of these characters are based on observations of what they say in the forum.
Spoiler! :
One day in a computer chat….
[Thelastguardian]: Hey, I got this great idea…
[Onizuka-gto]: Oh and what’s that?
[Thelastguardian]: Well… You know about anime and manga right? Well I was watching Haruhi one day, and tried to find a manga version of it, and I just found out ITS A LIGHT NOVEL!!!!!
[Onizuka-gto]: What’s your point?
[Thelastguardian]: Silly silly man, its in Japanese, how else am I going to read it?
[Onizuka-gto]: Aren’t there translation groups for that?
[Thelastguardian]: Nope.
[Onizuka-gto]: Dont tell me…
[Thelastguardian]: Oh yes…
[Onizuka-gto]: You don’t even know Japanese!
[Thelastguardian]: I can find people.
[Onizuka-gto]: Oh boy…
In the year 2004, an innovative idea came about, and what is this idea one would ask? Why, to create a light novel translation group of course! Never mind that they aren’t as easy as manga and anime to translate, it needed to be done! However, Thelastguardian, the creator of this group doesn’t know Japanese… Kind of important right? Well it took him a while to get his first translator.
The translator in mind was GDsMIDDLFNGR. However, he was a Haruhi fanatic.
“You know I’ll only help if we start with the Haruhi series.”, he said
“That’s what I said I’m going to start with.” , said Thelastguardian.
“Oh fine.”, he replied.
*GsMIDDLFNGR has joined the party!*
Now that he had his first translator, Thelastguardian set off to find himself a Haruhi novel. However, the path to the novel was a long journey, and Thelastguardian needed a party. So he called Onizuka.
“Hey Oni! Wanna help me find a Haruhi Novel?”
Onizuka started to laugh. “Hahahahahahahaha, we have something called the internet!”
“Where the hell do you expect me to look first?!” Thelastguardian shouted through the phone.
“Oh fine, Ill help you.”
*Onizuka-Gto has joined the party!*
“Now what?”, Onizuka said.
“Ummm….” Thelastguardian replied.
“You had no idea what the hell you are doing don’t you?” , Onizuka said.
Yes, Thelastguardian had no clue what to do next. Onizuka then called Velocity7.
“Hey Velocity, wanna help us get started on this translation group?”
He sighed, “Im a very busy man you know… I have 3 animes to translate within the week, now why are you calling me?”
“Oh, just to say Hi.” Onizuka snarked.
“Well, hello and goodbye my friend.”
“Wait, Wait! I was joking! How did you get the anime episodes?”
“Oh, I have a friend in Japan who gives this stuff for me.”
“Hmm… Thanks for the info.” Onizuka hung up.
As he walked back into the room, he saw Thelastguardian on the computer.
“Hey guys! We’re going to Japan!” Onizuka shouted.
GsMDDLFNGR shouted from the kitchen, “We have no money, no way to the airport, and no more bread for sandwiches!”
“Guardian are you listen-“ Onizuka turned and looked at the screen. “GET OFF 4CHAN!!!!!”
“Hmmm? Oh heres 3 tickets for JAL airlines, our flight is at 6:30.” Thelastguardian gave 3 tickets to Onizuka.
Then from the kitchen, GsMIDDLFNGR said, “By the way, its 4:30.”
Onizuka’s face turned white. “Get off the computer and take a shower.”
Thelastguardian sighed and pointed to the suitcases near the door. “You’re the last one…”
“Wait, even Gs did all that?”
From the kitchen Gs replied, “Yep.”
“How did you do all that in a 5 minute phone conversation?”
“Don’t ask.”
Onizuka walked to the bathroom quickly. There is no need to think about that subject any longer.
By the time he was done, it was 5:00 and the airport was an hour away.
At 6:00 they got to the airport.
“We have everything right?” Onizuka asked.
“Sure, sure we do.” Gs replied.
Thelastguardian gave the tickets to the ticket lady.
“Umm sir?”, she said. “This is KLM.”
The limits of failure have been broken.
“HOW DID YOU GET THE LETTERS WRONG?!??!?!” Onizuka shouted.
They ran to the JAL ticket booth and ran inside the airport.
“Well, we have to get past security now… and its 6:20 thanks to you.”
“At least it’s a short line oni!” guardian shouted.
By 6:25 they were on the plane.
“Please tell me this is the right plane and Im not flying to Seoul for some reason…”
The captain spoke on the speaker.
“Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. This flight will be going to Seoul.”
“@#$%&#%!!!!!!!!!!” Onizuka said.
The captain continued on, “This flight will be going to Seoul after a stop in Tokyo. Have a nice flight.”
Gs started to laugh, “You should have seen the look on your face Oni.”
“Shut up, Shut up, Shut up.”
Thelastguardian looked at Onizuka funny.
“I didn’t know you were a shana fan also!”
This is going to be a long flight…
onizuka-gto wrote:Big Boss was playing with the cosmic forces and forgot to switch the blog database back on.
hmm. more like a script than a story hmm. I wonder should we play the game where we play hot potato but with this story. Each person contribute the story or some sort. Two reasons I would fail.
1. I can't write without an army of grammar nazi raining on me
2. I do not know the history of B-T so well so I don't know how accurately do I need to protray nor know the japanese terminology and names if I were to describe their trip in Japan.
Hmm my story itself can be a seperate side story. Excuse me for bad grammar, lack of knowledge and terminology, OOC for not knowing people on B-T well, etc. Also I gonna just shorten the mains’ names for the sake of time. Anyway please enjoy my 1st fanfic I have ever written in my 21 years of living on this earth!
Airplane Omake:
Spoiler! :
Setting:
The airport they have departed from was known as San Diego International Airport. From this location it should take 6 hours to arrive Tokyo. Oni, GMF, and TLG at seated on the left side plane in the emergency row. GMF is reading a Japanese guide book he picked up from a newsstand while Oni and TLG are talking buying the new Nintendo DS.
Oni: I like the cycle Nintendo follows
TLG: What do you mean.
Oni: Think about it all portable systems had been consoles on the go. Gameboy is like the NES, GBA is like Super Famicon, and now DS is the portable N64. Just imagine when we have a gamecube quality handheld in the future
Little did Oni know that the next handheld 3DS not only support gamecube quality but also 3D effect and Metal Gear Solid Snake Eater….on the go!
GMF: Hey guys want to hear something interesting?
Oni + TLG: What?
GMF: You guys ever heard of “soapland”
???
GMF: Basically is a massage salon. You know how in anime the protagonist, usually those lucky 2-D bastards that have sister, related or not!, have their back scrub in baths?
Well this is like that except is 3-D and is a paid service. You guys want to experience it during the trip?
TLG: That kinds of defeats my fantasy. 3-D girls do not have the traits of a 2-D girls does and I prefer a childhood friend, not a sister no less a stranger you sis-con.
GMF: Hey I resent that! Anyway I left out an important detail. According to this book prostitution is illegal in Japan, at least anything the law considered “penetrative sexual acts.” They have other methods that doesn’t involve them and under different names.
Oni: Wait what are you implying?
GMF: I’m saying under “health” or “massage” service is actually oral sex!
Oni + TLG banged their heads in front of their tray, waking up an old Japanese man.
Angry TLG: WE ARE NOT GOING TO ANY OF THAT “ACTIVITIES” YOU MENTION GMF!.
GMF: Hey as this party’s leader I should lead the team in experiencing the fine side of Japanese culture. We will go beyond what the Genshiken guys does!
TLG: Those Gen guys are fictional and only studied the visual part of culture! And who made you leader? Shouldn’t I be the leader since I started this group?!
GMF waving his finger: But you don’t know Japanese do you?
Oni pats the depressed TLG back on this comment.
Oni: But I agreed with TLG, I wanna reserve my *censored* for someone I care about, hopefully 2-D.
GMF: You might as well stick to those gal games then. I understand the weight when it comes to facing the 3-D world but we live in it. Is foolish not to take what the world offer us: Like “Health Girls” ^_^
Oni sweat drop….
Oni: You are asking for divine punishment aren’t ya? What you want to do is like driving a dangerous car named “Herpes.” Well excuse me nature is calling me, even at 1000 feet in the air.
As Oni walks out of seat and goes to the back of the plane. Walking down the aisle through the curtains he sees the space empty. Luckily there doesn’t seem to be a line and the bathroom is green. Mindlessly he opens toilet door to reveal a naked girl in the bathroom. In a one second analysis he observed:
Blue aquamarine eyes whose depths are unfathomable
Fair, long, black hair with blue dye at the tip towards her breast line
Breasts small and round, like two meatbuns but less of a foot apart from each other
Wonderous abdomen, evidently have been shown care with signs of tone abs
Hips that are geometrically impressive in an angle that even Pythagoras will be in envy.
And she’s shaven too.
Blushed and mind racing he quickly slam the door. This caused a small ruckus as some flight attendants came with some concern. Oni apologize for his actions and give a white lie convincing enough for them to go away.
Oni Thoughts: Wait a moment, wait a moment, wait a moment. This only happens in anime not real life. The law of physics does not just allow me to see a naked girl in a plane no less. Wahh why is there a naked girl in the bathroom? Is she the type to pee without cloth on? I have seen something similar before.
Flashback Freshmen year in Highschool.
Oni walks into the boys bathroom only to see a senior with his pants all the down peeing at an urinal stand. Obligated he turn around to leave and forget this little incident.
Oni Thoughts: In anime, usually today’s industry with tsundere, I would have at least get some punch or dere or both in my situation. Why hasn’t the girl scream or anything? Is she a “Shy Blue Haired Girl”? Maybe this all of my imagination.
Oni Opens the door again to see the naked girl and stare a bit longer thinking than intended.
Oni Thoughts: Heaven or Hell, Heaven or Hell, Heaven or Hell
The Girl smiles and said: Is a bit chilly are you going to come in or what?
Oni thoughts flashback to GMF words: “Is foolish not to take what the world offer us” Wahh which choice?!
A. Walk in and see what happens
B. Just walk away like I did years ago
You made the plane ride 10 hours, not 6 as I have written. Also it should be less since they are already going there. Also you made the girl asleep?! I thought her little comment at the end was convincing enough that she was awake not asleep. shame on you!
Anyway here's a short 4 koma like story that takes between the 1st fic by poke and me.
Airplane omake ZERO.
Spoiler! :
Oni: Drools
TLG: What are you fantasizing about?
Oni: No hardware is hack-proof, not even the DS.
TLG: so?
Oni: If this machine can mimic N64 graphics I wonder what else it can do.
TLG: What do you have in mind?
Oni eyes sparks: a hacked ps1 game. Lara Croft: Boob Raider
Writing this actually took me longer than I expected but nobody killed me for this chapter
Spoiler! :
yet
so here it is...
Spoiler! :
The attendant stared at Oni suspiciously.
"I hope you're not planning on doing anything with this many people around.. Or are you?"
"Ah, no no no... That was j-just a..." Oni was stuttering not knowing what to say when suddenly the attendant noticed the book and said
"Oh! you also have this magazine! I'm actually a big fan of this author. Although I wasn't able to buy it once because the very last copy was snatch from me a couple of years ago. And to think they only published a limited number of copies...."
What the hell?! Is it even possible that she actually likes to read books?! This is some kind of a sick joke right?! Like.. like some sort of fan fiction made by crazy translators who has a lot of time in some forum?? This just can't be real.. Ah.. At least she forgot the topic at hand.. Oni thought
"... So you could probably imagine the trouble i did to look for a copy but I just can't seem to find one. Do you mind if I borrow it for a while? I'm a fast reader, I'll return it as soon as possible." She said with her hands clasped in front of her.
"Ah! Uhm.. yeah.. Okay.."
"You idiot!" Gs whispered as he elbowed Oni.
"Oh sorry, i haven't finished reading it yet.. So, err.. maybe next time?"
"Awww.. Alright then. " They both sighed in relief when she suddenly continued this time with a glint in her eyes "However, as you are bringing material that is not provided by the airline, we have the authority to confiscate it until further notice. Please be assured that should it pass the assessment, you will receive it upon landing."
"Huh?! Was there such a rule?"
"I'm sorry sir but ignorance is not an excuse, and you are bothering the other passengers watching the movie. Therefore, I'll be.. uhm.. keeping this book for a while" she left with a pleased smile.
"You did remember not to return the magazine back into the book.. Right?" TLG asked the both of them
"...."
"......."
"... ... ..."
"Right?" repeated TLG as he looked at both of them.
They were frantically searching in their seats and it was nowhere to be found..
"Yep, it's officially confirmed.. This is definitely going to be a long flight"
********************************************
"I guess that will probably serve as a payback for peeking at me.. Although he probably didn't mean any harm intentionally.. Oh well, I'll be returning the book to them anyway so i guess it'll be alright. I mean, it's not like they were crazy enough to hide a porno mag inside a book right?" said the flight attendant convincing herself.
"Now the, since we're in the middle of the flight and I have already seen this movie a dozen times, I might as well read the book."
