Waning.

[Def_Not_Hocchan_:roll:]

To whichever Mod approves this, thank you.

So, I figured to get myself back in the translating game, I should write myself a story....

It's a little long to upload with this thing, so I'll just give all of you https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D1y ... t?hl=en_US a Google Doc link to it.

The intro / what happened was written by HexOmega, the rest by me, hobogunner.

It's a post-apocalyptic setting, wherein Jordan (myself) and some of my friends happened to be together through the fallout, and are just trying to survive.

Hikari, I am prepared, rip it to shreds, please.

I figure commenting here is more convenient for me, I'll post anytime I update it. (Only if the update is >2 pages). If you feel like I should turn on comments on the doc, tell me that too, and I will do so.

Thanks for reading.

[rock96]

I'm definitely gonna kill you because you didn't approve your own topic... Did you forget your password? I don't think so, though.
BTW, have yet to read, but my brain is killed by some Eva fic. Yeah, proper Eva fic has to kill brain of the reader. Or to make it shory-circuit for a while, at the very least.

[Rajikai]

Why didnt you just sign in on your regular account? So is this a prologue?

[HexOmega]

The first page is the prologue. The thing written like a data entry.

[Let Rock approve this one.]

Updated: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D1y ... t?hl=en_US

So is this a prologue?

The first page is what happened written by Hex, I prefer stories that sort of just throw you in the mix and tell you as it goes, which is what I'm doing with this one.

Thank you to whichever mod approves this.

[rock96]

I got trolled, it seems. -_-

[Hikari! I'm proud of my writing.]

I got trolled, it seems. -_-

I think we should leave this to relevant discussion. What did you think of it?

[rock96]

Hocchan, I'd say that you need to work on your writing. I can't imagine their location, faces and figures, I can't understand their personalities. And dialogues are bigger than everything. It's not good. I had these problems once, and my fic was worse than most fanfiction I've ever seen. Take this in consideration and try to improve. The idea is good, have to admit it. Well, that's all.

[:(]

Descriptions <> my strong point, really, any point for me. I prefer character development....I started trying at the end though, maybe I should just add in those wtf long paragraphs saying what it looks like then going back to my usual writing?

Also, how long until I have to give description? There's a perfect line for physical appearnce, but I'm referencing things that I actually know from life, which is probably a mistake because none of you have my mind, and I can picture everything exactly.

Maybe I should work on art too? XD

[HexOmega]

Oh, its like I said you should work on descriptions or something (I'll throw them in if you want me too, I'm decent at that)

[rock96]

@Hocchan, do it. You won't lose anything in any case.
Draw it, if you want, but it's better to write their appearances down.

[YoakeNoHikari]

Sorry, tl;dr, in its truest sense.

[Rajikai]

Sorry, tl;dr, in its truest sense.

Haha to long didn't read. Nice.. I'm planning on reading 1 page per day and commenting on it. Starting tomorrow. Sorry >< Lazy

[D:]

You guys don't realize how awesome it is to change your username whenever you want.

I wouldn't start soon, Raji, I'm about to add in descriptions as per Rocks testimony, so start tomorrow? (I don't start writing or anything until like 1a.m., which is 4 for you. )

Will you ever read it, Hikari?

(Not that I want my work to be torn to bits, but just that you give really good constructive criticism.)

[larethian]

You guys don't realize how awesome it is to change your username whenever you want.

I wouldn't start soon, Raji, I'm about to add in descriptions as per Rocks testimony, so start tomorrow? (I don't start writing or anything until like 1a.m., which is 4 for you. )

Will you ever read it, Hikari?

(Not that I want my work to be torn to bits, but just that you give really good constructive criticism.)

I hear you, anony, this is the last time I will make another 3 clicks to approve your post.