Original LN? : Hero?

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Just4fun
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Original LN? : Hero?

Post by Just4fun »

To start i don't know if this will be an LN or a Short story only...
Well this is first made story so bare with some typo or wrong grammars if there is. (i hope there is none.) so basically i am a beginner.

This the first part of the story.
I finished up to 9 parts of the story. this is the first one.
Please read it if you have free time and please leave comments like "it too cliched!" or "I can't understand it" etc. i will accept them freely. :D :D
Genre:Romance, Slice of Life, Comedy?
Spoiler! :
Part 1
It will be the best if a man out of this world will fall down from the sky and help people in need.
And that man will be a hero that will emerge from the bright light of the sky.
I am dreaming of becoming that kind of man.
But there is no way for me, coming from a different world.
And there is no way for me, falling from the sky.
But a man not a hero that emerges from the bright light is possible to me.
Because I can help people in need even if I am not a hero.
A man that is good enough to stay on one’s side forever.
Not a hero that helps others only by his physical strength only.
But a man that helps others by his heart and mind.
That is a man that I can be.
Not a hero that I can be.

“Hey hey do want to go to the town?”
“Hmm… let’s see.”
As I walked down on this street path leading to where my destination is, I overheard what the two girls were talking about. Those two girls are students of the academy in this place and they were talking about… Nevermind it is not that important.
I was riding a luxurious car when I arrived here at the street leading to that school. This street prohibits cars and vehicles from entering because this street is for walking use only I wonder why it is only for walking use. Is it a little weird?
The trees here are very well preserved indeed. I smell the fragrance of the nature. The wind is naturally grazing the skin on my face. What a warm wind.
The green leaves dances on the mid air. This scenery is new to me because I live in the city before.
After I passed through the curved steep road, a scene popped out on my sight. On the benches underneath the trees many students gathered. They chat, study and do things that they ever wanted to. I started to walk on this street. During my fifth step on this street I can feel many gazes coming from the students. I am just new here so that is to be expected but I never expect this many. I continued to walk and suddenly a big figure of a building that is like a church came over to my sight.
Ah I can see the academy.
Academy.
That academy is a dormitory school where you can live here and study at the same time. This is quite comfortable to me because I was planning to live on myself now. By the way I am on the way on practicing on living by myself.
I arrived at the gates of the academy it sure quite big for a school.
(Clank)
A metallic sound.
The security guard opened the gate by using some machine that pulls the metals apart from each other. Technology now is sure advanced. Speaking of technology, technology nowadays is a must in everyday lives. Example of this is a cellphone. That everyone knows what it is, even children.
I walked through some path that leads somewhere to the principal’s office to get me accommodated here. Simple as this I will be enrolled in no time. I bet the map that the security guard gave me is not a fake.
I heard the principal here is very nice towards new students especially those who parents are in higher ups. I wonder why? Is he being threatened? I hope he treats me well too.
“…..”
A wind brushes my face I subconsciously closed my eyes as the wind continually grazed me.
I open my eyes.
Gradually opening it. I see….
A long black silky hair.
A uniform that the academy use.
And most of all a beautiful face that anyone will get dazed off.
I was stunned for a moment when I see that girl. She caught a glance at me and as of me; I was just staring at her.
It was like 10 seconds have passed while we are staring at each other. I cannot feel any disturbances while we are staring like this it was something like an unknown feeling that is hard to explain with words, no! More like an indescribable feeling that can make anyone dazed for a minute.
“Are you perhaps?...”
And at last that unknown feeling was vanished after she asked me a question. A question that is to be anticipated to this scene.
“Yes I am a new student here please to meet you.”
I said that for a reply.
After I said that with a plain tone, she smiled then she turn towards her right side and started to walk, elegantly.
As I look at her walking, she was going somewhere. I think that path is going to the girl’s dormitory. But since I am just new here, my knowledge about the school is not that accurate. So it is not a surprise that I got lost here. But first I need to get a hold on myself.
I shook my head and straightened my posture.
Once I recovered from some unknown property that makes me stunned. I immediately go to the principal’s office to accommodate me and mostly to acknowledge me as a student here. I wonder what her name is. Does she belong to a noble family? Because her posture is perfect for a normal high school girl. She looks a nice person too... I think? I arrived at the door of the principal’s office and hold the doorknob and twist it. I put a little force to push it. What appeared before me is a man who is seated at an office like chair. He greeted me with a welcoming tone.
“Welcome! Mr.Eversteen.”
And a new student is now officially enrolled here at St. Marbury academy. Just like that.
I, Mikhail Eversteen, just transferred here at St. Marbury Academy. Because my father and mother died in a car accident 1 year ago, I was being taken care of by my grandfather who is the owner of the one of the biggest company here in the Philippines. My father is a half British and my mother is a Filipina. As you can see my I used my last name of my father because this is just the memento that he left me. My grandfather said to me that I should use my mother’s last name but I refused because of that reason. Also, I am staying at my grandfather’s place but since I was transferred to this school there is no need for me to stay there.
1 year have passed since grandfather took me from my old town to his house. He said that I am the only family he has but he shows no family ambiance towards me of being his only grandchild. I wonder why he took me even though he was against it or not. It somehow strange to me but I set that aside to move myself forward. I cannot sulk and get depressed on what is happening to me. Humans have the power to overcome any trials. So I decide to study again.
I am living a happily life now even my parents are dead. I cannot just sulked down and be depressed for a whole season because of that. I am sure that my parents want me to pursue my goals even if they were not around. But! The problem is I do not have any goals for now. Sometimes loneliness comes at me when I remember them. If a time has given to me by god, even if it is just a short time I will say thank you and I love you them again and again.
“So this is my room.”
I said that to me, who is looking at my room at the boy’s dormitory that is just 30 meters away from the principal’s office. So I did not have a hard time looking for my place to sleep with. It is now 5pm, all classes ended now so I will just make my big entrance tomorrow!
I steeled myself and change my clothes to night clothes to sleep. But it is still too early so I figured that I should have dinner first before I go to bed.
Me, who just think to have dinner at the canteen beside the boy’s dormitory, takes a bath first before leaving the room.
Actually this school is quite luxurious I wonder how much money my grandfather spent to this. I am really grateful to him.
On the way to the canteen I saw many students talking and chatting to each other. This school is quite lively even though it’s dark now. I continued to walk as I pass many anonymous students on the way. I’m in the state of being uncomfortable, suddenly this stares are gradually increasing as I walk through the corridor. As I realized this I walk in a fast pace while my head is looking on the ground.
I arrived at the canteen. As I expected there are so many students that is having their dinner here. I look around to see where I can seat. But also I expected that there is no seat that is available.
I give up on the idea on eating rice and meal so I decide to buy bread and soda for my dinner I should make up on breakfast tomorrow I will be sure hungry by then.
When I was walking pass the chairs that are occupied by the students that are mostly third years. I saw again this girl that I met on the way to the principal’s office eating alone.
Why is she eating alone?
Does she have no friends?
I said this in my mind that is full of questions about this girl. I feel that there is something wrong here.
And again I stared at her for a moment. I can’t resist her beauty even at this range. It is dazzling as if I was watching beautiful scenery in front of me.
I regained myself when someone collides with my arm. I am sure that is a person too. I look where the person that knock my arm. It was a boy with blonde hair. I am familiar with that color. Because I used to see my father’s hair like that.
“Sorry.”
I said that while looking at him intently from his back.
“No it was my fault.”
He replied with a pleasing tone. He turned his head at me who was looking at him with hostility.
I thought he will say rude words like I used to hear when I was in elementary school but it was different. I calm my face and nodded at him who just nodded too.
But I do remember his face.
He is Ivan Backberry my childhood friend when I was in kindergarten. Who ever knew that I will see him again here? I thought he went to America and live there for his entire life. Those eyes! I am sure that he is ivan! The one that accidentally rip of the teachers skirt before!
“Ivan!?”
He seemed to be surprised. And me who just said that, bring my face near his.
And now that surprised and puzzled blonde guy is gazing at me as if he was inspecting my face. Then he his eyes widened a bit after that, it came back to its normal. It is like having a “!” expression on his face.
“Mikhail!?”
He sure remembers me too. It is quite a relief that he remembers me.
“Yeah long time no see.”
That was the first time we have talk in 13 years.
Ivan Backberry is an American and he became my classmate in kindergarten. I did not know what happened to him after the party that our teacher organizes for our last day in kindergarten. He said to me that he will go back to America due to his mother’s work but what is this? Why he is still here in the Philippines?
After these 13 years many people do change a lot. That is a fact undeniably.

“So you ended up here also.”
He said that while we are eating our dinner we bought in the canteen, here at the park just a few blocks away from the boy’s dormitory.
I can see the statue of some kind of angel from here and the moon shines brightly as I stare at that statue. There are also fireflies surrounding the garden nearby. It is beautiful here. I never knew such place existed here in the Philippines.
“Yeah and I never knew you would be here also.”
“Hahaha. I see. But are you lonely without your parents around?”
He laughed but that laughed did not last. He came back to his usual expression and said that to me.
“Yeah. But I cannot just sulk and become depressed there is nothing I can do about it. I will just have to accept it and move forward. That is how life is working.”
I said that with my eyes closed and let out a sigh.
“I agree with you.”
I look at him because his voice became down. It sounds like he was uptight and he was thinking of something while he said that. His eyes were looking down at the ground as if the word I just said was bothering him.
“Well let’s go back to our rooms because tomorrow will be a tough day.”
“Hm!”
He nodded at me with eyes full of determination. So his expression changes quickly huh?
I stand up and made pose that looks like I was pumped up on something. He raised his head to look me. His bothered face returned to its normal face that always smiles. That smile is like a smile of person that has no problems in his/her life.
“What room are you in?”
“Room 215 I think?”
“Oh we are neighbors! Looks like my high school life is going to be lively.”
“What do you mean by lively?”
And so our conversation continued while we are walking upstairs in the boys’ dormitory.
I never knew that my first friend here at this school is my classmate before on kindergarten. I feel quite happy about it because my first friend here is someone that I can talk to freely. And of course we are both guys so having a long conversation is normal.
After we chat a little, we returned to our own room and sleep at once. I am tired so I sleep right away when I arrived at my room and I was not able to change my clothes to my sleep wear. But I just ignored it and let myself plunge in to the dreamworld.
I Have a Future Diary trust me..... XD
(Just kidding...)
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pudding321
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Re: Original LN? : Hero?

Post by pudding321 »

Part 1 is long and I don't even know what you're going to write after reading it. It looks like a visual novel, but it's missing the most important element - visuals...no...pictures!! Do you mind if you give a plot summary or something? Also, I would recommend you to skip out all those little bits in life that don't have anything to do with the story. You don't want to have a bunch of words describing how that girl eats her lunch or how you got back to your dorm and change your clothes.

My expectation:
Image
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Just4fun
Kyonite - The Haruhi Pacifier
Posts: 111
Joined: Thu May 10, 2012 9:50 pm
Favourite Light Novel: Ahouka!
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Re: Original LN? : Hero?

Post by Just4fun »

thanks for the feedback. by the way i finished it on fictionpress so the recommendation that you said is cannot be easily done. anyway, i'll try what you said on the next volume i will write. if i will write it.....

and... I lol'd at your expectation. :D :D

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/3083634/1 ... d-Moon-met here is the link and i changed the title.
I Have a Future Diary trust me..... XD
(Just kidding...)
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yoyoyo5678
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Re: Original LN? : Hero?

Post by yoyoyo5678 »

good- I read it - you should make - a story that continue it - you know volume 2
Link to my user on B-T
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