Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

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Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:05 am

Since there was no translation and editing discussion thread for Zero no Tsukaima, i thought i should start one.
Volume 3, chapter 3-
Bothered, Saito asked Marteau, the head chef, for a big, old kettle. He made a bathtub from it. A floating wooden lid, which the bather pushed under the water, heated the bathtub from below. Firewood that burned under the kettle heated the water.
I think the underline part needs correction.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:54 pm

I looked at the chinese translation and it said,
依照五右卫门风吕的诀窍,在锅子下方燃烧柴薪,然后将锅盖沉入锅底当作底板,就可以泡进去了。
Apparently 五右卫门风吕 was a kind of traditional way to take a bath in a metal pot, and he used the wooden lid as a place for him to stand on (since he's is bathing in a metal pot, the part below will be extremely hot)

So this part was somewhat skewed in the translation.
The meaning is something like this, “Using the Ishikawa Goemon technique, he burned firewood below the pot to heat the water, placed the wooden lid at the bottom of the pot for him to stand on and voila! A hot water bath was created."
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Fri Oct 16, 2015 11:54 pm

thanks for that one. edited volume 3 chapter 3 to include your input.
volume 6 chapter 8 -
'Students ran up in panic and began uttering the recovery spells for Colbert.
However… the injury was severe.
Inner…
Agnes recovered and pointed her sword at Colbert.'
Is the underlined part talking about inner injury? i think some editing is required to make meaning clear here too.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Sat Oct 17, 2015 1:18 am

OMG this MTL...

the original line was 这个时候 meaning "during this time", it refers to Agnes regaining her senses as the students rushed to Mr Colbert's aid.

@@ I think I may have to reread all the English translations again to check the quality.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Shadowys
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Sat Oct 17, 2015 1:22 am

Also, for the line,
You broke the royal list of military material in storage?”

The original was,
撕掉王军资料库名单的人,也是你吗?

means, "the one who tore the name list in the Royal Military Archives, were you also the culprit?"

Edit, the whole page will have to be retranslated I think, since it is an MTL so there are many errors in the text.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
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Posts: 246
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:15 am
Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Sat Oct 17, 2015 8:15 am

Should i edit volume 6 chapter 8 according to your input or leave it for your translation?

volume 7 chapter 3 -
'When one used the Void element for big, one-time spells, collecting willpower took time. And since it was already used today… the big Illusion spell covering a wide landscape could not be created now.'
The 'illusion' spell of void was used a week ago in Dartenes. Why is it written - And since it was already used today? I think it's a mistake.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Sat Oct 17, 2015 5:33 pm

I think all the MTL translation will have to be retranslated asap. I don't have the time to do it now but I would do it...within this year, maybe?
For now you could just edit it, I guess.

Yes it's a mistake.
For that line, the chinese translation was,
虚无系统的魔法一旦被大规模使用,精神力再次积聚起来就得花费相当长的时间。由于前几天才刚用过一次,所以也许不能把过于大规模大范围的实景转化为幻象。
where the key phrase was 前几天, meaning "few days ago", not "today" as in the MTL.

By the way, there is mistranslation on "the big Illusion spell covering a wide landscape could not be created now".
Chinese translation was :所以也许不能把过于大规模大范围的实景转化为幻象, which means "so she could not turn such a huge landscape into an illusion" which is correct, since Louise was aiming to turn what she saw that day into an illusion.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
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Posts: 246
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Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Sat Oct 17, 2015 11:34 pm

some chapters are badly translated but most of them aren't bad to read. so you won't have to translate every chapter, i think. also you don't need to post raw as i can't read them. :)
volume 7 chapter 4 -
'Still... What will we do if we will? At the worst, a whole metropolis could revolt. That is how fearful the resentment from food is.'
What will we do if we will. another odd sentence. thanks for the quick responses.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Sun Oct 18, 2015 8:10 am

Nice to hear that! :D
I'm posting the raws for the reference of other translators to double check my work (though it may seem that I'm the only one. lol)

I think this is just a typo on the translator's part.
original :可是万一我方获胜的话
I think it's "What will we do if we win?"

While I'm not free enough to do complete translations, I'm still able to help out by checking the original text once in a while. :D
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
Project Translator
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:15 am
Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Sun Oct 18, 2015 10:55 am

volume 7 chapter 5 -
'Thunderous applause rang. Guiche, with a wide yet somewhat shy, accepted the reward on the neck. A young person, with a similar face to his, came out and clung to Guiche.'
is smile missing from here i.e. with a wide yet somewhat shy smile?
hope you are free enough for volume 19 and 20. :)
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Sun Oct 18, 2015 6:11 pm

The original was 基修脸上浮现有点害羞的笑容
While the word wide was not expressed in the chinese translations, the word "smile" was missing.
So indeed it should be "with a wide yet somewhat shy smile".
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
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Posts: 246
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:15 am
Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:35 am

volume 7 chapter 7 -
“It is said that, after losing Londinium, the enemy's morale dropped as well.”
instead of Londinium, it should be saxe-gotha.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Mon Oct 19, 2015 5:29 pm

Yup, it seems a complete mistranslation.
Original : 听说剩下的就只有攻下伦迪纽姆了。大家都说,敌人已经丧失了士气,很快就会结束战争的。
The translation should have been : I hear that now we just have to take down Londinium. Everybody is saying that the enemy has lost their morale so the war will end quickly.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
Project Translator
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:15 am
Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby veritatis cupitor » Mon Oct 19, 2015 11:19 pm

volume 7 chapter 8 -
The lady who was called Mrs. Molliere presented a box to Joseph.
“Besides His Majesty’s Troops.”
With eyes sparkling like boys, Joseph opened the box. Once looking inside, his face glowed even more.

volume 7 chapter 9 -
The delivered goods were a gorgeous punnet where the royal arms had been carved. A letter with the Finance Minister’s stamp was attached to it. The moment he saw it, the complexion of De Poitiers changed. He started to read the letter voraciously. After finishing reading, De Poitiers muttered cheerfully.
“The Finances Minister congratulates with premonition!”
is it promotion?
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Postby Shadowys » Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:00 am

For the former,
Original : 请把他归入陛下您的军队里吧。
Translation should be "Please enlist him in your majesty's troops", referring to the doll inside the box.

For the latter,
Original : 财务卿阁下真是个出手阔绰的人啊!
Translation should be "How generous of the treasurer!", referring to the expensive staff that was sent in the midst of a war.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
Shadowys
Project Translator
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:15 am
Location: Somewhere in Malaysia

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