Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

1. volume 14 chapter 3 -
With a friendly smile, she threw a leather belt at Saito.
Previous translator perhaps wanted to check if it's really leather belt.

2. v14 c3 -
“That essentially gave off an extremely pleasant feeling. ”
Previous translator wanted to check this sentence.

3. v14 c3 -
However, despite the lack of simplicity in the task, when it was time to take another step and compare the minor differences between their experiences.....
Previous translator wanted to check this sentence.

4. v14 c3 -
As soon as she wielded the dagger, Sasha's left hand began to glow. Or more accurately, her left hand began to glow.

5. v14 c3 -
The wolf that had lunged at her either had its legs chopped off or was beheaded. It dropped to the ground. Sasha launched the dagger at the fallen wolf, ending its life.
Previous translator wanted to check this sentence.

6. v14 c3 -
“I had no other way. We're at a critical time right now. That violent and cruel Valiag
Previous translator wasn't sure of name Valiag.

7. v14 c3 -
“Brimir of Nidabelio. Brimir Ru Rumiru Nidabelio.”
Previous translator wanted to check the name.

8. v14 c3 -
That person happened to be him in his youthful years, is living a regular life.....and is in the era that he lived in.

9. v14 c3 -
Saito dropped to the floor in a kneel.
Previous translator wanted to check this sentence.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

I'll type the japanese raws out if it's short enough but for longer sentences I'll c+p the chinese because I don't have the electronic raw text for japanese.

1. 在露出一个友好的微笑后她把一个革带扔向了才人。

Yes, it is a leather belt.

2 “总有股非常奇妙的感觉。” / なんだかとてもヘンな気分

Here it's closer to "peculiar/strange", rather than "pleasant", which is another meaning that may have been inferred from the chinese.

3. でも、それだけじゃない気がした。いったい、どうしてだろうと考えていると…
The chinese took some liberty in translating the idea, so I will put it here for reference, 然而,并非简单的仅此而已,正要在进一步仔细体会这细微的区别的时候……
It could be translated as, "However, he felt that that was not all of what he felt, and just as he was thinking about what all of that was about..."

4. 在握住短剑的瞬间,莎夏的左手开始了闪烁,准确的说,是手背开始了闪烁。
As soon as she wielded the dagger, Sasha's left hand began to glow. Or more accurately, **the back of** her left hand began to glow.

5. 扑上去的野狼不是脚就是头被斩断,跌向地面。莎夏用短剑刺向地上被斩断了脚的野狼,结束了它的生命。

I would word it like this, "The wolves that had lunged at her either got their legs chopped off, or were beheaded by her, and they fell towards the ground. Sasha stabbed her dagger into wolf that had its legs chopped off and ended its life."

6. ヴァリヤーグ, or Variyagu
This is interesting, the japanese wiki entry points to this : https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%B4 ... C%E3%82%B0
which is extended to the english, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varyag,
so it should be Varyag, the ancestors of Russians, or sometimes mentioned as Vikings.
I'll add this into the naming convention page.

7. ニダベリールのブリミル。ブリミル·ル·ルミル·ニダベリール
With the hint that this may be Norse, I have looked into it and found it to be
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ni%C3%B0avellir
so it should be Niðavellir or Nidavellir
http://skaldic.abdn.ac.uk/m.php?p=onwword&i=67312
I am however, unsure of the "ru", which I'm using "le" to replace. Maybe some one who's german could help.
"Brimir of Nidavellir. Brimir le Reimir Nidavellir"

8. 那个人也有他年轻的时候,他普通的生活……和,他所生活的时代。
This man also had a time he was young, the normal life he experienced... and the era he lived in.

9. 才人无力的跪倒下去。
"Saito's legs went limp and he fell (actually it was knelt but it is kind of awkward to include it) to the ground. "
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

volume 14 chapter 4 -

1. Guiche and the boys were armed with (杌孀虐諮俸嫌朧テ韉那嗟抓旦`コート Unknown clothing here) and bore the responsibility of keeping visitor flow in order.
This is what was written in edit page -
Guiche and the boys were armed with (杌孀虐諮俸嫌朧テ韉那嗟抓旦`コート Unknown clothing here<!-- ed note: they probably wear mantles decorated with both Tristanian (青地に白の百合, white lily on a blue background) and Romalian (that's 聖具の紋) (sur)coats of arms. In Japanese it goes like this: 青地に白の百合と聖具の紋をあしらったサーコート -->) and bore the responsibility of keeping visitor flow in order.
Should we leave it as it is or do some changes?

2. Saving Guiche and the others is none other than the Carolo Mariano De l'Thrombosine? who went into a conflict with the Ondine Water Spirit Knights at a tavern in Romalia previously, leader of the Aliesta monastery's Crusaders.
Any reason for bold letter and question mark?

3. All the Crusaders laughed in unison, making Guiche and their ashamed to death.
Is it - All the Crusaders laughed in unison, making Guiche and his teammates ashamed to death.

4. Huh, just hurry up leave this place.
Is it - Huh, just hurry up and leave this place.

5. In Romalia, it is very popular to gift females with this time of seashell carving.
Is it - In Romalia, it is very popular to gift females with seashell carving during this time.

6. This isn't as worse as how you described it.
Is it - This isn't as bad as how you describe it.

7. Guiche crossed his arms as he thinks in pain, then nodded his head in the same way.

8. Louise looked like a different person. Even if her normal self is so willful... she doesn't have to go to the extremes. Is that why Saito's existence was so important?

9. Anyhow, we're here to -slaps back- relax, -slaps back- enjoy ourselves for good

10. The narrow phoenix tailed ship was filled entirely by the teens, when ashore could their laughter be heard.

11. The male with that weird name Is your familiar, you know
Is the 'Is' made capital deliberately?

12. "How many times do I have to tell you, I Don't have a familiar!"
Again 'Don't' capital use?

13. "...Since Louise says this kind of things, perhaps she would be better off this way. ... That must have been what you thought, since she did look very painful

14. The height of this thing was even higher than two buildings..., is the same Panzer Saito saw at the grave underground of Romalia kings.

15. "Harden" logs over the limit of sustainable weight will snap and be crushed into pieces.

16. Behind, inside the tank was an "engine" even more advanced than the one of "Dragon's Raiment

17. Saito Is a part of the Queen's personal guards.
Capital is again!

18 . The moves started pulling, while the aristocrats applied "levitation" to help out.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

1. Original japanese: 青地に白の百合と聖具の纹をあしらったサーコート
This should be an OCR error. So we should remove it and replace it with "mantles decorated with both Tristanian and Romalian coats of arms.

2. The translated name is Carlo Christiano Trompontino from https://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/inde ... 3_Chapter4

3. Original : 圣堂骑士团一行人都笑了起来,让基修他们感觉屈辱不已。
So, yes.

4. 哼,快走吧。
Yes again.

5. Yes

6. Yes

7. Original : 基修很头疼似地交叉抱起双手,大大地点了点头。
Guiche crossed his arms like he had a headache and gave them big nods.

8. 露易丝就像变了一个人似的。就算是她的自尊心很强……想法也应该不至于这么极端的。所以才人的存在才显得这么的重要吗?
Louise looked like a different person. Even though she was an extremely prideful person... that was a very extreme thought for her. So that's why having Saito around is very important, wasn't it?

9. I'll need to check again. There's this term that I'm not familiar with : ぱぁーっと

10. 狭窄的凤尾船被少年们坐的满满的,欢笑声连岸上都能听到。
The narrow phoenix-tailed ship was completely occupied by the teenagers. Their laughter could be heard by people on both sides of the shore.

11. Nope

12. Nope

13. “……既然露易丝都这么说的话,也许那样的确是比较幸福。……你是这么想的。因为,她看起来确实是很痛苦”
"...Since it was Louise who said it, maybe it's true that that was the better choice for her... That's what you thought, because, she looked liked she was in excruciating pain."

14. 这个高度堪比两层建筑物的物体……,是才人以前在罗马利亚的地下王陵见到过的虎式(タイガー)战车。
The thing, which two-storeys tall, ... was the same Panzer that Saito has seen in the Royal Romalian catacombs.

15. 原来如此,为了承受住巨大的重量。超过了被施予过硬化的圆木的负重限额的巨大重量啪嚓一下将一根圆木压碎了。
The huge weight, which far exceeded the limits of what the "Hardened" logs could withstand snapped one of the logs apart.

16. 车体后部搭载着的,使用比『龙之羽衣』更先进的技术制造而成的『引擎』。
The main body carried an "engine" that was created with much advanced technology as compared to the "dragon's raiment"

17. It can be capitalized here since it's the Queen.

18. 搬运工人们拉起绳子,贵族们则是用魔法帮忙。在施行了『硬化』的圆木上,虎式坦克开始了咕隆咕隆的滑动。
The movers pulled at the ropes, while the aristocrats used their magic to help. The Panzer began to roll and move on the "Hardened" logs again.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

In previous edit -
2 - Should there be bold letters in his name?
9 - Just a reminder to me that it's left
And thanks for the quick reply.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

2. No

btw i got the answer for 9

9. パーッと (adv) with energy (of parties and such), enthusiastically, going all out

So it can be "We're here to enjoy ourselves and have a good time! Hear hear!"
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

volume 14 chapter 5 -
1. But at the same time, his conscious said otherwise.
Perhaps - But at the same time, his consciousness said otherwise.

2. Please don't use another other odd expressions.
Please don't use another odd expressions.

3. “Ah, bring me the Basstelude. Thank you. ”
This is what the translator added - <!--No idea how accurate Bass Tres is. Much appreciated if someone could check.-->

4. You've already found this place, haven't you?
I was expecting 'they' instead of you.

5. If you directly faced the enemy from the front, you'll get stomped on by the enemy like an ants.
If you directly faced the enemy from the front, you'll get stomped on by the enemy like an ant.

6. The wind mage by Brimir started chanting wind magic.
The wind mage beside Brimir started chanting wind magic.

7. Sasha and Saito were like windmills waving off the weapons on hand. Relying on Gandálfr's power. The enemy troops were sent flying off like scarecrows.

8. “You also all right?”
“You all right?”

9. this is even scarier than Louise
this is even scarier than Louise's

10. Even if he himself said they did not consent to it, the fight for control over his master's intentions continued. Is this a Gandálfr's karma?

11. But looking back at when he met Sasha, he hadn't entered a “different world.” From the looks of that, perhaps a lot of will power was needed

12. They avoided the enemies' assaults numerous times like this while constantly fleeing. On this land called “Halkeginia”, for them to be eventually named as nobles, that would require quite a bit of time.
Is this Saito's thoughts?
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

1. その頃。。。、といっても、その頃なのかどうか
At the same time... or not.

2. “那是什么?求你不要再用什么奇怪的称呼了,称它‘精灵之力’好不好?”
"What's that? Could you please stop calling it weird names, and just call it 'elven powers'?"

3. ペストーレ (pesutoore) I can't find an equivalent name for this food, but I guess Pestole? Not sure)

4. Yup, it's they.

5. Like ants or an ant should be fine.

6. 普里米爾身边的等候着的法师们吟唱起了风魔法。
The wind mages standing at ready beside Brimir started chanting wind magic.

7. 莎夏和才人像风车般挥舞着手中的场强(this should be 長槍, from the japanese)。靠着綱達魯烏的力量,敌军的重装步兵像是稻草人一般被打飞了出去。
I would translate it as, " The spears in Sasha's and Saito's hands looked like windmills in the battlefield. The enemy heavy infantry were swatted away like they were simply straw-men with the power of Gandálfr"

8. Yeah, it should be "You alright?"

9. “根,根本不好啦……竟然把我们也卷进去了……真是比路易丝还要可怕啊……”
Of-of course not... the power of the spell even hit us too... that's even scarier than Louise's spell...

10. 就算本人说不愿意,还是得按着主人的意思继续战斗下去,这就是綱達魯烏的宿命了吧?
To follow their master's wishes and continue fighting even if they weren't willing, this is the fate of a Gandálfr, isn't it?

11. ……不,回顾和夏莎相遇的时候,并没有在“异世界”打开吧。这样的话,或许并不需要很强的精神力。
... No, now that he think of it, back when he met Sasha, the "door" was not open in "another world", right? In that case, perhaps it did not require too much will power.

12. Kind of, yeah. It's part of the narrative.
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

Didn't get the 1st edit.
About 3rd, should I add your comments and leave the original name untouched or something else?
In 11th, wouldn't it be - Now that I think about it...
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

1. It was referring to the time Brimir and Sasha was meeting Saito, which might be the same time as the events that has happened in the chapter prior.

3. Yeah I think we can do that for now.

11. Yeah, that works.

Thanks!
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

I feel like stupid but can you write what you want me to replace in 1st edit. Please take into account that google translate isn't helping me with that edit.
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

Haha It was "At the same time... or not."

I didn't realize that it doesn't sound like a translation. Technically the literal translation is "At the same time...Even though we say this, whether or not it is the same time (is hard to say)..." So I just took some liberty and used "At the same time... or not."
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

Got it, I'm stupid! :(
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by Shadowys »

LOL nah it was miscom
Winter's the time of the year,
when the cold chill the skin,
from the very within,
but you grasped my hand,
your eyes shedding a frozen tear.
Our eyes met,
and warmth filled the air.
User avatar
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Re: Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

Post by veritatis cupitor »

OK, chapter 6 is killing me. 21 edits to ask in just half the chapter, may be I should skip it.
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