Zero no Tsukaima translation and editing discussion

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 chapter 3 part 1-
Aaah, the touch of such a beautiful person felt like a his desire hitting him in the gut.

[Shadowys]

Original : 噢啊，要是碰了这么漂亮的人，我一定会遭到天谴。
It can be translated as, "Oh, if I were to touch someone as beautiful as her, I would certainly receive heaven's punishment."

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 chapter 3 -
'Unsho, yokkorasho – panting, she put strained expression that didn’t suit her face and leaned it against the bed.'
these words show physical exertion, right? if so, i think a foot should be added. and volume 6 chapter 8 is one of the worst mtl. perhaps it'll require re-translation.

volume 8 chapter 3 -
“This is rather complicated. I cannot tell you in full-detail… but, the magical power of the plinth was already used up.”
“Exactly. Since the Water magic stone was placed in there, the magic was absorbed by the plinth itself. Therefore, there is only a plinth left. However, it cannot raise the dead. It cannot heal the wounds of the dead ones.”
since both the sentences are said by Tiffania, i don't think the second inverted comma in 1st sentence and 'exactly' in 2nd sentence are required.

volume 8 chapter 4 part 2 - (perhaps you should add this chapter in the list for re-translation too)
'Louise started hitting Saito’s chest with her small fists.
Interested, Saito proved.'

volume 8 chapter 4 part 2 -
'Saito brought his face closer. Though she resisted, she closed her eyes.
“Awah, awah, awah…” Louise haloed, while Saito kissed the scruff of her neck.'
is it ok to use halo here?

chapter 4 starts with line -
'One week before the day Saito woke up…'
every event in chapter 4 happened in a single day and yet it ends with -
'At that time, in a forest village near Albion's Saxe-Gotha…
Saito, who was sleeping, woke up.'
is something wrong?

[Shadowys]

1. The original puts it as sounds she made as she panted : 「嘿～」、「喝～」, so it could either be replaced with huffed and puffed, or just ignored.

2. It's a mistranslation. The first sentence is actually said by Saito, and the latter by Tiffania.
Originals:
「这样吗，看来似乎有什么难言之隐吧。算啦，详细的事情我当然不会追问……不过这戒指既然只剩下戒台，应该就表示凝聚于其中的『魔力』已经被使用殆尽了吧？」
「正是如此。原本这里镶嵌著一颗内含水之力的宝石，最后魔力耗尽，宝石就融化了……因此，这戒指才会只剩下戒台。总之，这戒指的力量就到这里画上休止符了。所以请不要再受到那种几乎致命的伤，因为以后我就无法治好了。」
Which could be translated as,
"I see. You have some hidden reasons of your own, right? Ah, never mind, I don't plan on asking for the details anyway......However, since there is only the bezel of the ring left, does this means that the 'magical power' within it has been used up?"
"Exactly. There was a magical gem containing 'Water Magic' embedded here before, but as the magic was exhausted, the gem just dissolved......That's why there is only the bezel of the ring left. Anyway, this marks the end of the ring's power here. So, please don't get hurt that seriously again, because I can't heal you anymore."

|(o.O)| Which is completely different from what the MTL gave.

3. There is a whole section that have been mistranslated, which I think is a result of referring to the anime.
Originals:
才人似乎很困扰般地搔了搔鼻子，回答道。
「因为，我总不能让你去送死吧？」
「像我这种忘恩负义的家伙，你就别管我不就得了吗……」
「我当然不可能那样做呀。」才人说道。
「为什么？」露易丝问道。
「因为我喜欢你呀。」

Which could be translated as,
Saito scratched his nose, seemingly in confusion, as he replied,
"Because, I can't really send you to your death, can I?"
"Someone as ungrateful as me, isn't it better to leave me alone......"
"Of course I can't do that." Said Saito.
"Why?" Asked Louise.
"Because I love you."

4. Original: 「哇、呀……」当露易丝还在发出无意义的呻吟时，才人就吻上了她的颈项，让她一下子就如同掉进云堆里，整个人昏昏沉沉的。
Which could be directly translated as, "Wah, Ah..." While Louise was still making meaningless moans, Saito kissed her neck, making her body feel heavy as though as she had dropped into a cluster of clouds.

5. Apparently it was a mistranslation of the first sentence of Chapter 4.
Original: 从才人醒来那天算起，又过了一星期……。
So it was actually, "One week after Saito woke up......

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 chapter 5 -
“For one moment, your heart stopped. So partner, the familiar's runes died as well. Magical spell-based objects can make assumptions too. Like flies escape the door that seems to be dead – the runes may have left as well.”
is it another mistake? thanks for the wonderful translations by the way. do you use ctrl+f to find the text which i write here? if so, i'll paste even smaller sentences here.

[Shadowys]

The original for that sentence is : 就像是跳蚤会从快要死亡的狗身上逃走一般
Which could be translated as : Just like how fleas would jump away from a dying dog

Yes I am, actually, but I don't mind the sentence length.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 chapter 6 -
“Indeed. However, there is no sparring partner…”
“Aarah. What if there were an expert? You lose even against kids who can swing a sword only a little.”
both sentences are said by derf, right? if the same character keeps speaking, 1st closing inverted comma isn't provided, right?
whole volume 8 has quite a bad translation. i've seen that the worst translated chapters (mtls) have very short sentences, most of the time not even complete.

volume 8 chapter 6 -
'Look, I was prepared for this. For the two weeks we searched through the bigger part of the forest… sleeping with a dew.'
we or I? Is it really sleeping with a dew?

[Shadowys]

Indeed. This is another section that has been mistranslated, starting from the original “Hey?”
Original:
「如何？」才人询问德鲁弗林加的意见。
「还算可以吧，不算差啦。唔，毕竟花了那么多时间挥剑，所以培养出了一些体力，身体也应该已经记住了一些诀窍了吧？」
「是吗。不过，面对佣兵时却是一点办法都没有呢……」
「那是当然。人家可是职业的耶？怎么可能会输给稍微耍过剑的小鬼头呀。」
「别讲得这么白好吗？」
才人狠狠地瞪了德鲁弗林加一眼。
「而且伙伴你还吓得浑身发抖不是吗？怎么可能会有人输给在发抖的家伙呀。」
「可恶……」

"How was that?" Saito asked Derflinger for his opinion.
"That looks okay, not so bad, I think. Hmm, you have been swinging your blade for such a long time that your muscles have grown a bit, and you retained some muscle memory, eh?
"Really? However, I was really useless against those mercenaries......"
"Of course. Those guys are professional, you know? How could they have lost to some brat who had just played with a sword?"
"Don't say it that bluntly, please?"
Saito shot a spiteful glare at Derflinger.
"Besides, partner, aren't you so scared that your whole body was shaking? How could anyone lose to someone whose body is shaking."
"Damn it......"

There were missing information from that sentence.
Original :「我原本打算离开道路进入森林，并逐一进入所有的村子或是聚落来搜寻你的。你看，我可是准备了如此多的装备。因为要在广阔的森林里进行搜索行动，所以准备了足够两周用的保存食物……还有能抵挡露水的过夜用品、甚至连替换用的靴子也带来了。结果居然在第一个到达的村落里，发现你待在院子里吃午餐……真是的，简直叫人扫兴。」
Which could be translated as, "I was going to enter the forest through the road, and search for you in all the villages that I walk past. Look, I came fully prepared for this. Since I was going to conduct a search operation in such a huge forest, I prepared at least two weeks of rations ..... along with items that could keep dew away as I stayed overnight. I've even brought along boots for me to change. And then I found you eating lunch in the first village I reach......Seriously, what an anticlimactic ending. "

Glad to see more people translating ZnT again. Chapter 8 might actually have to be re-translated using the original machine translation as a base.
But then again I'm not really a fan of MTL
MTLs are machine translations, meaning they have been put through a translator program and then edited, without any knowledge of the context of the story...

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 chapter 7 -
'A warm world of illusions of cracked glass, even if it was swallowed further and further by the darkness – that’s how it felt.'

volume 8 chapter 7 -
'The roof of the round tower was a staircase leading towards the void in the stars and nothingness'

volume 8 chapter 7 -
“Saito… is in that pitch-dark place… and you're regretting some light?”

volume 8 chapter 8 -
'However, the string people, though with a sense of trepidation, had their tents set up in here to sleep and stay over.'

volume 8 chapter 8 -
“What about it, he forcibly did it while I was sleeping! Then, why he was giving me, his master, those kind of looks – starestarestarestarestaaare. In bed, at the table, even in the classroom, everywhere! With perverted dog’s eyes too! Why would a servant force his master? When I was unaware too! Aren't those stuuupid ideas? Phui! Such feelings!
louise is speaking these, right? if so, a closing inverted comma is needed.

[Shadowys]

1. Original : 露易丝觉得……一旦她开口，那么映照出这个温暖而虚伪的世界的镜子就会破碎，自己将会被卷入无边无际的深沉黑暗之中。
Which could be translated as, Louise felt as if, as soon as she opened her mouth, this mirror that reflected such a warm and fake world would shatter, and she would be swallowed by unending darkness.

There's a sentence nearby that says "They did not talk much. All words seemed plain and useless."
Original: 露易丝没办法顺利讲出内心话。明明有想要告诉他的话语，却什么也说不出来。
Which could be translated as, Louise could not express herself at all. Even though she had things she wanted to say to him, but she could not say anything at all.

2. Original: 这座圆形塔的塔顶除了有个洞口连结著通往楼下的阶梯之外，就没有其他的东西了。
Which could be translated as, There was nothing on the circular roof except a hole that led to a staircase going down the tower.

3. Original: 「明明才人他……就在那个深邃黑暗的地方……难道我还对光明恋恋不舍吗！」
Which could be directly translated as, "Even though Saito......is just right in that dark place......Why do I still want to stay in the light?", referring to the place of the dead and living.

4. Original: 然而，人类还真是坚强，明明这里曾经发生那么恐怖的事情，还是可以毫不介意的在各处架起帐棚，休息过夜。
Which could be directly translated as, However, humans are so tough that even though a terrible incident had happened here, they could still open up a tent nonchalantly and rest for the night.

5. Yup, these were spoken by Louise.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 8 epilogue -
'For a while, it will be very sensitive…'
Is Derf thinking this or is it speaking this?

[Shadowys]

It was referring to the atmosphere actually, so it was a narrative sentence.
Original:这种尴尬的时间持续了一会儿……
Which could be translated as, the awkward atmosphere hung around for a while......

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 9 chapter 1 -
'The air so thin between the two, that even a mosquito could break it.'

volume 9 chapter 1 -
'Saito shook his head. The tension from inside felt dry.'

[Shadowys]

Original is 两人之间的空气沉重到可以轻易杀死蚊子之类的小虫。
Which could be translated as, The atmosphere between was so stifling that it could have easily suffocated any bugs in the vicinity.

Original is 才人摇著头回答。因为太紧张了，他感觉喉咙很干，很想喝水。
Which could be translated as, Saito replied as he shook his head. As he was extremely nervous, he felt that his throat was very dry and he would like a drink.

[veritatis cupitor]

volume 9 chapter 2 -
'The magic power grew bigger and bigger, concerning the inside her body, and with running blood fueled her further.'

volume 9 chapter 3 -
'Then it wasn’t you groping her. I won’t permit you to live.'
The sentences seem contradictory.