ばか！バカ！　馬鹿ー月！

Granted, enjoy the werewolves, vampires (the cool ones, not the sh*tty twilight ones), zombies,etc, etc

I wish I had a 6IV ditto...

Can't be granted because I have no idea what that is.

I wish I had the power to grant everything.

Granted, but your end will be same with Aya Otonashi in Utsuko no Hako to Zero to Maria.

I wish BakaReader EX will have a new display

Granted, congratz, it's in white, now all you see are white. I wish people will update the wiki more often.

Granted... Spam time.

I wish I progressed past the first round on sunday

you wish!

I wish my internet provider won't be an ass

Granted, he'll become a dickhead instead

I wish I could find a barrister n 2 witnesses by tuesday

Granted, but between the four of you, you are member 1( of 1) of the Dissenting Opinion.

I wish my C++ assignment was already finished and worked correctly so I could turn it in and goof off this weekend.

Granted, but then it disappears... Before you could hand it in...

I wish all my assignments were done for me by magical gnomes

Granted, but the gnomes bring with them a latent magyk that makes the people around you more likely to demand witch-hunts, and when all your work is discovered to be written in gnomish, you must either flee your hometown or be burned at the stake.

I wish I had several networks of motor-powered ziplines connecting all the places I wanted to see, with one in every city I visit.

Granted, but the zip line breaks while ur on it... N u fall to ur horrible death

I wish for more spammers

Granted... Ignoring all city zoning and labor laws, the building you call home is converted into a Hormel Foods SPAM factory. The new owners allow you to continue living on the lot in exchange for working at [Least Desirable Country's] minimum wage. You accept, due to the snowballing force of your wish. Later that day, you gain fifteen new roommates who plan to work for the exact same deal you received. From then on, you spend the rest of your life surrounded by spammers, all of you mechanically spamming together.

I wish I could perfectly replicate any accent based on the English language.

Granted, but u get shot before u can anything

I wish I didn't have so many damn assignments

Granted. Your teachers are all replaced by new teachers who don't give assignments, but all suffer a severe mental problem.

I wish I got to watch the new movie, "Oculus" soon.

Granted. Your friend invites you over one night soon and suggests that you and some other buddies all watch a bootleg he recently acquired. Just at the climax of the movie, heavy knocking on the front door is your only warning before the house is quickly surrounded by law enforcement intent on bringing in the media pirates. You probably won't get a chance to watch movies for a long time now...

I wish cheap ramen flavor packets didn't have enough salt in them to kill someone.