ばか！バカ！　馬鹿ー月！

Sally went to the police station with her friend Hannah to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. Sally said, "He's 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

Hannah looked at Sally, shocked, and protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 8 inches, overweight, bald, has a temper, and is mean to your children."

Sally replied, "You think I want HIM back?"

Morty was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife Miriam was extremely upset. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds OR ELSE!!"

The next morning Morty got up early and left for work. When Miriam woke up, she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Miriam put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and opened the box to find a brand new bathroom scale.

Morty has not been heard from since.

In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?"
The mathematician said: "Never."
The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time."
The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes."

One day while a family of four, went on an outing.
The sister ask her mother about marriage and how expensive it was.
The son, overhearing the discussion looked towards his father and said: "Dad, how much does it cost to be married?"
The Mother and Daughter stopped talking and looked at him.
He paused and looked at his son in a serious manner, "Son, I don't know. I'm still paying for it"

onizuka-gto wrote:ha! i liked that one, lery.

One day while a family of four, went on an outing.
The sister ask her mother about marriage and how expensive it was.
The son, overhearing the discussion looked towards his father and said: "Dad, how much does it cost to be married?"
The Mother and Daughter stopped talking and looked at him.
He paused and looked at his son in a serious manner, "Son, I don't know. I'm still paying for it"

Teh_ping wrote:Why are ghosts such terrible liars?
Because you can see through them.

Nura rihan wrote:So, I have to put one here by myself before dying...

Please, if you don't like adult content don't oppen the spoiler:

Spoiler! :

A girl wanted to go alone in a party, but she was afraid, then she asked her mother for some advices.

“Mother, What I do if the guys want to surpass the kisses?” said the girl

“You just ask them what is going to be the name of your sons.”

Then with that in mind the girl goes to the party.

Then she start with the first guy. They start to kiss, then the guy put his hands bellow her skirt, and she says:

“What is going to be the name of our son?”

The man give some excuses and run away.

Then she start with the second guy. They kiss, but when she ask the name of their son, he run away too.

Then she start with the third man, they start kissing, him put his hands bellow her skirt, and she ask:

“What is going to be the name of our son?”

The man stay silent. And continue what him was doing. Then she ask one more time:

“What is going to be the name of our son?”

The man remain in silent while doing his work.

The woman ask that a bunch of times.

The man got his work all done, and she ask that one more time:

“What is going to be the name of our son?”

The man take out the condom, and give it a knot, and then throw the condom far away and says:

“If he escape from there, it will be ‘David Copperfield’!”

This is a adaptation from a BR joke

Mrs. Smith was putting her little Sam to bed at the height of a violent thunderstorm.

"Mommy," he asked nervously, "can I sleep with you tonight?"

"I'm sorry, darling," she said. "But you know Daddy and I sleep together in our room."

"It's not fair," said Sam. "Tell the big coward not to be such a baby."