Editing will continue as scheduled soon.Edits
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Zero
- Astral Realm
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onizuka-gto
- Editor-in-Chief
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Zero
- Astral Realm
Thanks! Amusingly it was an English exam that I just got results from. Tonight I'm going to read through chapter 2 and note down anything that looks off and then I'll go through it again for editing.onizuka-gto wrote:thanks zero, hope you did well on your exams
Alright, here's what I've got so far.
“This was caused by fuujutsu, and was created by a practitioner that is on a completely different category from us, the Fuuga clan. It trapped the three people in the wind “kekkai” and then killed them.”
I think it would sound better if "category" was changed to "level".
"Juugo wouldn’t allow the continuation of such an insulting diatribe. In order to stop it, he forcefully made the people take Yorimichi away."
Perhaps change to something along the lines of "ordered that Yorimichi be taken away (forcefully?)"?
“You have just finished a mission, you must be tired. Get a good rest today.”
I'm not sure about the time frame here, but "tonight" would seem more accurate than "today" to me.
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erehwon
- Astral Realm
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Zero
- Astral Realm
Ah, okay, thanks. I just like to put them up in case someone has a better suggestion. I'll go ahead and edit them in.erehwon wrote:sorry late reply still very busy lately...
all your suggestions/changes/edits sounds good to me. Actually if those are the type of changes, I think you can just change it without posting if you wish.