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"Shinji didn't notice until 10 seconds after Kazuma that the unearthly presence had materialized into something black."the_naming_game wrote: ----
"10 seconds"
和麻に遅れること十秒以上、妖気が黒く凝り出すに至って、ようやく慎治も気づいた。
Slower than Kazuma by over 10 seconds, the unearthly presence had materialized into something black, before Shinji, too, gradually began to notice.
erehwon has the right interpretation. Shinji is 10 seconds slow. Perhaps this for a reword: "He was slower than Kazuma by over 10 seconds — the unearthly presence had materialized into something black, before Shinji, too, gradually began to notice." Or switch "he" and "Shinji" --
But in any case, English isn't that comfortable cramming too many concepts into a single sentence. There really are quite a few in this sentence. "10 seconds slower", "gradually", "began to notice", "Shinji, too"; and it doesn't quite make sense, because "Shinji, too, gradually began to notice" generally implies that Kazuma was the first one who "gradually began to notice" and then Shinji later ALSO "gradually began to notice".
Am I making sense here? Basically, if you want to remove all the ambiguity in the English, you end up with a monster of a sentence.
"The unearthly presence had materialized into something black, before Shinji also began to notice, but in contrast, he did so gradually, and he was over 10 seconds slower than Kazuma."
The black thing is starting to form but it has not yet "materialized" until it says so -- it was not visible before that. It was merely in the process of coming together. This is what Kazuma sensed. So perhaps you can reword the "tied its focus" to "directed its focus" to make it clear that it's not there yet.
random
Do I sense an Oni-TGM fanfiction in the works?
For a moment there I thought you were referring to me... Lee's my family nameFelin wrote: Oni can I call u Lee (the bushy eyebrows)
Chapter 6: 決戦 Decisive Battle that's good, I was gonna use: Final Battle, it was off so I left it as battle...the_naming_game wrote:Alright, sorry for the delay. T-Yesterday was unexpectedly hectic.
erehwon:
帰参 【きさん】 (n,vs) returning to the service of one's master; ED
帰参、そして――
Returning to Serve the/one's ____, and Then―
Without context, it is vague. The meaning "master" is clear here, but the nature of the master would help the title. Is it a master like "master of the house"? Or is it a shogun? Etc. "Master" alone has certain connotations like "I serve my Master, Sauron" etc. And thus, I pass on the translation burden on to someone else!
Chapter 4: 帰参、そして―― R-? (Word it as you will; you know as much as I do now.)
Chapter 6: 決戦 Decisive Battle
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頼通 Yorimichi (賴通 - father of Juuga)
慎吾 Shingo (You were correct)
大神武哉 Oogami Takeya (this is nitpicky, but since we're doing "Yuuki Shingo" then Ogami -> Oogami)
The last sentence sounds wierd. Can anyone check the orginal text?Sakamoto screamed while clinging onto Kazuma's legs. However Kazuma heartlessly kicked away his former client.
Thud!
Sakamoto's face began writhing in a new kind of pain, as it was mercilessly trampled upon. Since he didn't want to touch with anything beyond slippers, instead of stepping on him, he brang down his heel. It seemed like you could the skull making a creaking sound, but that wasn't a big problem.
The subbers use Ayano-chan's disaster. Ep 8. I think this should be okay . . . Well, I really can't say anything cause I don't understand Japanese . . .HolyCow wrote:綾乃ちゃんの災難 - Ayano-chan's disaster. When I checked it up, 災難 meant 'misfortune', but IMO disaster sounds better here.
Its teh hawt!