Still need an Editor?

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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:57 am

Hi, I am not so new here and I am the current only translator. Apparently you should inform us of your great arrival before starting work, which you have just done. So basically you can start editing. To apply for an officially recognised editor post, your edits will be up for review in a couple of months and stuff. More editors are usually welcome(just beware of my poor english muahaha!), and now is a good time to ask, Nere and everyone out there, is there anyone working on my translations anyways?
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:42 am

Ok, thanks for letting me know so quickly, I'll get right on it! Hopefully this project will speed up as I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the novels.

*I have made some changes already, please take a look at them and roll back the changes if they are not satisfactory.
A little late, but thanks for translating this series ShadowZeroHeart!
Last edited by Zeferion on Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:45 am

Zeferion wrote:Ok, thanks for letting me know so quickly, I'll get right on it! Hopefully this project will speed up as I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the novels.

Gee great... asking for guidance at one moment... hushing me at the next... Well, i will try to get one part up soon... but then i have exams next week onwards, so would be taking a break then maybe...
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:50 am

Good luck for your exams, hope you can return to translating soon.. :D
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Nerevarine » Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:27 pm

Yeah i still am.... but right now im working on getting everything to past tense...

and well....im really busy...and lazy...and slow...

so right now im contributing bi-weekly...

But yeah, Zeferion, go ahead and work on all the recent chapters and ill roll though when i get there.... (eventually....hopefully...)

but yeah....i think Hiyono and SDK are mia though
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:52 pm

No worries!!

(I am busy, lazy and slow too =X)

So I am basically still trying my best (note: TRYING) to keep to my 1 part a week speed. Just that I see the two latest chapters are both at 100% requiring edits, so i was just wondering thats all...

And sorry about the tenses >"< I still do not know when to use past or present tense... and using all past tense still seems weird to me.
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
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Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:02 am

I changed some to past tense when it felt 'correct'.

Also, in volume 2 chapter 3 or 4 i came across 2 phrases that didn't make sense, one was make a 'faithful believer faith' or something similar, i changed faith to faint and the other was 'will a smile' and i changed will to wear. I don't have the original script so I just made educated guesses at what it was supposed to be. Please check them when you are free.

*I'll go through the first volume too if anyone think it needs work. Just make a post here. Thanks.
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:10 am

Zeferion wrote:I changed some to past tense when it felt 'correct'.

Also, in volume 2 chapter 3 or 4 i came across 2 phrases that didn't make sense, one was make a 'faithful believer faith' or something similar, i changed faith to faint and the other was 'will a smile' and i changed will to wear. I don't have the original script so I just made educated guesses at what it was supposed to be. Please check them when you are free.

*I'll go through the first volume too if anyone think it needs work. Just make a post here. Thanks.


Yes, it is faint for the first, as for the second, I can't seem to find where it is, but if that is what is written, it is probably wear... wear a smile... yeah, have been trying to recall this phrase... Thanks!!

And it was voted to use all past tense ^^" But it seems better to be in present tense, so I left them in present most of the time... And please point out my mistakes? It would help me improve. Whether to go through volume 1, it is up to you ^^ everyone plays a part at making it better, there is no perfect answer ^^

P.S. how was my script? readable? understandable? not bad? would appreciate the comments. Room for improvement.
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
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ShadowZeroHeart
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:46 am

Its definitely readable and quite easy to understand, but I get the feeling that some phrases sound awkward because there are like japanese idioms or phrases that don't translate too well into english, imho. Then there's another phrase I spotted that sounded weird, 'Not sure since when they were there' in vol. 2 chapter 3. I'm sure it could be improved but for now I can't think of anything.. Would you mind posting the original line here, in romanji if possible? It would help to see the original phrasing in Japanese.
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:56 pm

Zeferion wrote:Its definitely readable and quite easy to understand, but I get the feeling that some phrases sound awkward because there are like japanese idioms or phrases that don't translate too well into english, imho. Then there's another phrase I spotted that sounded weird, 'Not sure since when they were there' in vol. 2 chapter 3. I'm sure it could be improved but for now I can't think of anything.. Would you mind posting the original line here, in romanji if possible? It would help to see the original phrasing in Japanese.


^^" Sorry, my text is in chinese.
不知打從何時就待在那裡------ 兩個人影突然出現在困住修治的異空間中.
My translation:
Not sure since when were they there------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji.

不知打從何時 - Unsure from when/since when
待在那裡 - have been there, were there

I think you can understand it ^^" Similarly, i have no idea how to improve it...
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
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Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
Location: Amidst the Shadows

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:20 am

Hmm... still can't think of anything.. When I do, I'll go edit it, so maybe I'll take a look at volume 1 before I go back to it.
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zyzzyva165 » Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:56 am

ShadowZeroHeart wrote:不知打從何時就待在那裡

They were there since an unknown time...
"Their faces looked like this: Each of the four had the face of a man, and on the right side each had the face of a lion, and on the left the face of an ox; each also had the face of an eagle."
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Chaoswind » Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:27 am

Not sure since when were they there------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji.

could be

Not sure since when they were there------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji.

The "Not sure since when they were there" seems like a note of the narrator not knowing when they arrived or how long they have been there

^_^; I could be wrong thought, but that is the only thing that comes to my mind

------------

They were there since an unknown time...

seems Ok to me
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Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:31 am

It would be more of how long they have been there, rather than when they arrived. but at the same time it is ever since an uncertain time. not sure how to put it exactly...
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
Senior Project Translator
 
Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
Location: Amidst the Shadows

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Nerevarine » Thu Nov 20, 2008 7:48 am

hmmm....you could change it too...

Spoiler! :
How long had they been there? Yuji became trapped as two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space.


but that would change the narration's tone to a question with surprise then earlier as merely an observation.

Edit: hmmm....or how about

Spoiler! :
Unable to discern how long they had been there------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji.

or you can change the second part to how i changed it....

Spoiler! :
Unable to discern how long they had been there------Yuji became trapped as two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space.


This way connects the first part to the subject, Yuji.
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