Still need an Editor?

General discussion related to this novel series

Moderators: Fringe Security Bureau, Senior Editors, Senior Translators, Alt. Language Translator/Editor, Executive Council, Project Translators, Project Editors

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:14 am

How about 'Appearing as though they were there from before'? The unknown period of time is lost though..
Zeferion
Mikuru's Master
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:21 pm

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:28 am

First, they did not appear. They have always been there, possibly, just that no one noticed(no one is around to notice anyways)

Secondly, since we are not sure when they have been there, "from before" may be a false statement, as they may have just arrived as well?
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
Senior Project Translator
 
Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
Location: Amidst the Shadows

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Nerevarine » Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:59 am

woah....i feel....ignored....

ok so anyways...

i think the best course of action would be to use my example

Spoiler! :
Unable to discern how long they had been there------Yuji became trapped as two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space.


thats the best i could change it from

Spoiler! :
Not sure since when were they there------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji.


though since i havnt really read the chapter...yet...

i cant tell if this is the right context clues to use from the rest of what is happening from the chapter.
User avatar
Nerevarine
Astral Realm
 

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:28 pm

I see, guess I was too liberal with the editing. Thanks for pointing out my errors.

To Nerevarine: Haha, it wasn't my purpose to ignore you, I just thought that I would wait for Shadow to comment on your line..
I think you changed the meaning of the second part, as the Chinese test says shadows appear in the space Yuji was trapped, and not him being trapped when the shadows appeared. Just my 2 cents, have to wait for Shadow to clarify as I'm unsure about the Chinese.

Maybe 'Their presence unnoticed for some time, Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Yuji'?

Sounds better but some meaning lost? This line sure is hard to edit..
Zeferion
Mikuru's Master
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:21 pm

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:16 pm

Now do you guys see why i used that line?

Nere, the thing is that we do not know since when they have been there... From "Unable to discern how long they had been there", it implies that they have been there all along? which we do not know for sure?

Their presence unnoticed for some time...? the entire time factor seems to be missing already LOLz!

Well, I seriously cannot come up with a good phrase for this... maybe someone can check the japanese text and see what we can do about it? or else we may really have to rephrase this, or leave it as it is.
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
Senior Project Translator
 
Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
Location: Amidst the Shadows

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Chaoswind » Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:25 pm

I think the writer just wanted to make a point about how they "even thought where there the whole time" went unnoticed o.o
Chaoswind
Haruhiist Specialist
 
Posts: 72
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:18 pm

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby ShadowZeroHeart » Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:28 pm

Maybe ^^" Well, that is why i choose to be only a translator, I am not good at, and is lazy to find all his meanings. Besides, my english isnt that good either.
God!!
You need not forgive me.
For those I love,
The violence brought about by sinful men
Shall now be used once more.
If you were created to save this world,
If there is a single shred of hope left for the future of mankind,
I am very sorry, but, please begone!
User avatar
ShadowZeroHeart
Senior Project Translator
 
Posts: 3480
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:23 am
Location: Amidst the Shadows

Re: Still need an Editor?

Postby Zeferion » Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:10 am

Chaoswind is possibly right, but we won't know unless we check the original japanese text.

What about ' Unnoticed for an indeterminate period, ------ Two shadows suddenly appeared in the abnormal space that trapped Shuuji'?
Zeferion
Mikuru's Master
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:21 pm

Previous

Return to Kaze no Stigma

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron