Book 1 edits
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 5:19 pm
hello, Nerevarine again, i know im really slow when it comes to my promise to edit ( i only have a couple hours every couple of days to spend on editing), but im coming across some problems that i want to address for major edits.
there seems to be some parts of chapter 2, book 1, that are cut out/misstranslated?
first is this-
also this needs to be looked at-
Thanks....and
If i find any more situations like this, ill put them in this thread...but itll be a slow process
there seems to be some parts of chapter 2, book 1, that are cut out/misstranslated?
first is this-
Based upon the text, it seems that the two people talking to Ayano(Juugo and Genma), their names are mixed up. From the first line, it seems Ayano stopped the staredown with Genma and turned to talk to Juugo. Also...Ayano is not Genma's daughter, which is what the text leads too.After stopping the unsatisfied challenge/look, Ayano looked towards Juugo.
“Then, what needs to be done? Defeat him?"
“Now, we haven’t decided whether it was done by Kazuma. Besides, we would like to meet with him and discuss this issue.”
Faced with his daughter’s simplistic and dangerous words, Genma(should be Juugo) deeply felt the danger.
Even though she had Enraiha’s overwhelming power, Ayano tended to resort to violence no matter what she did.
Genma(should be Juugo) frequently hoped that she would have a less impulsive way of thinking, as she was the next suzerain.
“Now is not time for you. Wait until there are other missions to be done.”
“...Yes.”
Faced with a barely compliant daughter, Juugo said consolingly, “You have just finished a mission; you must be tired. Get a good rest tonight.”
“...I understand.”
Even though it seemed to be unacceptable, Ayano still did what her father had said. After “bowing,” she rapidly left the room. Juugo didn’t blink until the door was closed, showing a deeply unhappy expression concerning his daughter.
also this needs to be looked at-
If someone can, could they look at the original text and possibly retranslate or explain what is going on here? This is before the author formally introduces both Shingo and Takeya. It looks like their whole dialogue was cut off.
Even though it seemed to be unacceptable, Ayano still did what her father had said. After “bowing,” she rapidly left the room. Juugo didn’t blink until the door was closed, showing a deeply unhappy expression concerning his daughter.
“...This stubborn daughter.”
Juugo seemingly says “not acceptable,” and sighs deeply. Even though he used this kind of strict manner of speech, no matter what, the care and love for his daughter was hard to hide.
<!-- Is there something missing here?-->
These two people have said the saying many times. To put it correctly, Shingo, due to his younger brother’s death, has a burning fire revenge. Takeya, no matter how many times you tell him to pay attention to his orders he will still forget them, said he was nagging. <!-- Who is saying what to whom --><!-- I don't get this last part. -->
They were waiting for the report, and then immediately to go where Kazuma was. <!-- Something is missing here -->
=== 2 ===
For the Kannagi Clan’s information network, finding where Kazuma was staying was simple.
Thanks....and
If i find any more situations like this, ill put them in this thread...but itll be a slow process