Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

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How did you find the quality of translation?

Great!
633
89%
Okay but lacking a nice flow
48
7%
Some awkward lines but okay
27
4%
Quite rough with terrible flow
0
No votes
Ahhh!!! The grammar is killing me!
4
1%
 
Total votes: 712

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Darklor
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Darklor »

chancs wrote: It is as you said. I have kept it as close to the actual texts (placing 'comma' when there is 'comma' in the raw) There is a big difference in the reading/ writing style. One can better understand it when reading zzhk's.
But you know that a comma depends on the grammar you use?
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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delacroix01
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

Kira0802 wrote:Hm? Mind showing an example?

Because there are expressions that are not really use in English. So sometimes, it's better to change them.

There are some clueless people as always, but at this stage, there's no need yet to lock the chapters, except maybe the first or second volume.
Yeah, I know localization is needed sometimes, but too much is too much.
Spoiler! :
Raw wrote:眠そうにまぶたをこするその姿は、まるで雪の妖精のような可憐さだ。
Trans wrote:That very figure, who was rubbing her drowsy-looking eyelids, was lovely just like a snow fairy.
B-T editors wrote:The figure in question, who was rubbing her drowsy-looking eyelids, was lovely just like a snow fairy.
Anon wrote:The lovely snow fairy-like figure who was rubbing her eyes was Est a sword spirit.
As you see, the edits made by registered editors didn't change much of what I intended, and not much different from the author's idea (although I couldn't think of a good way to convey the emphasis in the phrase その姿). However, the anon's edit was different because it failed to express the idea. The most important part of the sentence was まるで雪の妖精のような可憐さだ, and it should be placed at the end of the sentence, not part of the noun phrase like in the anon's sentence, not to mention that he even merged it with something that was not in the sentence, but the next "sentence":
Raw wrote:剣精霊エスト。〈魔王殺しの聖剣【デモン・スレイヤー】〉の称号を冠するカミトの契約精霊だ。
B-T editors wrote:Sword spirit Est. She was Kamito's contracted spirit, who was entitled the «Demon Slayer».
Anon wrote:She was Kamito's contracted spirit, who had the title «Demon Slayer».
Another case:
Raw wrote:なにしろ、あのエストがここまで恥ずかしがるのだ。
B-T editors wrote:Anyhow, it's because Est, not any other girl, was bashful to this extent.
Anon wrote:Anyhow, it's because Est, unlike any other girl, was bashful to this extent.
Obviously he got it wrong. Since the author used あの, が and のだ, the emphasis was heavily stressed on the part that it was Est who was getting embarrassed, not anyone else, while she's usually expressionless.

Or
Raw wrote:容姿だけなら抜群に可愛い、掛け値なしの超美少女。
Trans wrote:If it's appearance alone, she's exceptionally cute, an ultra beautiful girl without any exaggeration.
Anon wrote:If it was appearance alone, she was exceptionally cute, an ultra beautiful girl without a doubt.
掛け値なし means "without exaggeration", not "without doubt".
There are plenty more, but I guess this should be enough for now.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Darklor »

Chapter 1 and 2 of vol. 4 are now protected against anonymous edits...
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Hiyono »

Have to say, it's one thing to make edits that fail to preserve meaning, but even for the innocently clueless, it's another thing entirely to make edits that aren't even proper English.
"There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible and wrong." H.L. Mencken (1971)
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Mystes »

@delacroix Oh, I see.

Though at the same time, I wonder if it's possible to change the sentence "Sword spirit Est.".
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by florza »

Kira0802 wrote:@delacroix Oh, I see.

Though at the same time, I wonder if it's possible to change the sentence "Sword spirit Est.".
The Sword Spirit, Est. She who carries the title of the Demon King Killing Sacred Sword, Demon Slayer, was Kamito's contracted spirit.
What's wrong with that?
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by delacroix01 »

Well, I see the point. The use of punctuation mark after a phrase is common practice in Japanese creative writing, but it can be different in English. If needed, you can turn it into a complete sentence, although I'm not sure if that will keep the flow of the translated text, since I once tried and it didn't go smoothly. :|
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Hiyono »

Sentence fragments are an oft-used literary element. Read enough and you'll see that at times grammatical rules can be broken to great effect, when used correctly of course.
"There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible and wrong." H.L. Mencken (1971)
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by Sniper221 »

Hello this is Sniper221 and Vermiculo, we would like to inform you that we have exams this week and would not be able to translate/ edit/ post the Light novel volumes
but it will be posted latest by December 26th.
we are sorry for any inconvenience caused.
*we wish you all a merry Christmas, or holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by DoomCalibur »

Good grief! Why should my exam start on the same day as the Christmas
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by d34thw1ng »

Sniper221 wrote:Hello this is Sniper221 and Vermiculo, we would like to inform you that we have exams this week and would not be able to translate/ edit/ post the Light novel volumes
but it will be posted latest by December 26th.
we are sorry for any inconvenience caused.
*we wish you all a merry Christmas, or holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas.
success on ur terms , merry Christmas and take care :)
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by latos1117 »

Sniper221 wrote:Hello this is Sniper221 and Vermiculo, we would like to inform you that we have exams this week and would not be able to translate/ edit/ post the Light novel volumes
but it will be posted latest by December 26th.
we are sorry for any inconvenience caused.
*we wish you all a merry Christmas, or holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas.
Its all good after all we know you'll also have RL, well good luck on your exams. Al hapy holidays.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by chancs »

Darklor wrote:
chancs wrote: It is as you said. I have kept it as close to the actual texts (placing 'comma' when there is 'comma' in the raw) There is a big difference in the reading/ writing style. One can better understand it when reading zzhk's.
But you know that a comma depends on the grammar you use?
Umm...at the places wherever possible ( no point if the sentence doesn't make sense) :P

And I see we have a new translator. Hurraaayyy :D
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by TJP1600 »

chancs wrote:
And I see we have a new translator. Hurraaayyy :D
I have a friend of mine translating this without reading the other volumes and is new to LNs as a whole (yeah I know its bad to do this which is why I have edited it for format, terminology and when knowledge of previous volumes come into play, although blade dance is easy to translate). They wanted to give it a shot so might as well right? Don't expect long term translations from the new translator outside of winter break. I think we did a pretty good job with it barring a few errors. Anyways, I hope you guys like the translation after it gets put up soon.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by TJP1600 »

The chapter is up (Vol 5 CH 1), knock yourself out.
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