[ch 1] Reordering of a couple lines in chapter 1

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[ch 1] Reordering of a couple lines in chapter 1

Postby Da~Mike » Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:35 pm

Reordering of a couple lines in chapter 1

"You mean the alien stuff?"

Kunikida, who was busy picking bones out of his fried fish, butted in:

"Yeah that. Even back in junior high she always said and did lots of weird stuff. For example there was this school vandalization incident!"

This is a minor problem, particularly in english but presumably not Japanese, the logical order would be that the statement would be after the colon. This would have confused english readers into thinking that Kunikuda was "butting in" recollection of Haruhi's past school life and consequently make no logical sense up till the break to the next scene. So I propose that order in which the lines come in be changed around so that it would show:

Kunikida, who was busy picking bones out of his fried fish, butted in: "You mean the alien stuff?"

"Yeah that. Even back in junior high she always said and did lots of weird stuff. For example there was this school vandalization incident!"

When I first read Chapter 1, this section bothered me quite a bit.

edit2: I am sorry about making a new section in the discussion panel, I did not recognize the preferred format at first.

--Jayohz 12:50, 1 June 2006 (PDT)

Hmm, an alternative might be to do away with the colon all together and just rearrange the attribution to:

"You mean the alien stuff?" Kunikida butted in, while busily picking bones out of his fried fish.

It could perhaps be fixed with even less rewording (just changes to punctuation):

"You mean the alien stuff?" Kunikida—busily picking the bones from his fried fish—butted in.

--BlckKnght 13:41, 1 June 2006 (PDT)

Any one of those is fine but I suppose the one that is closest to the original Japanese would be the most correct and efficiently translated. So, if there is a colon in the original text, it might be just best to leave it. Another option would be to adopt the most simplest form--the narrator is supposedly 15-- so either rearranging the order or BlckKnght's first choice would be preferable.

--Jayohz 20:27, 1 June 2006 (PDT)
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