[ch 1] People with average grades

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[ch 1] People with average grades

Postby Da~Mike » Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:48 am

People with average grades

Anyway, everyone in this school came from one of the four junior high schools in the city. People with average grades. This, of course, includes East Junior High; therefore there should have been people who graduated with Haruhi, who knew what her silence symbolized.

The "people with average grades" sentence is incomplete and seems disconnected from its context. Was something accidentally edited out...?

That part is in parentheses and seems to modify the part right before it, meaning the students who go to their high school are the average ones. Maybe the two should be combined to avoid looking like a fragment?

I suggest just putting that part in parentheses like in the original. And for reference, here's that part:




--GDsMDDLFNGR 10:24, 26 May 2006 (PDT)

Hmm, I don't think parentheses are appropriate in the translation as it is currently written. Leaving the fragment would work, since dialogue—in this case, internal dialog—is less formal than other writing. Maybe a comma or dash would be best to get rid of the fragment.

Speaking of dashes, we should probably go through the text and try to standardize our use of dashes. I know a few places they have been put in as single hyphens (-) and sometimes as two hyphens (--). There is also inconsistant spacing around them that should be standardized: where American style prints an em dash without any spaces, European style substitutes an en dash with spaces on each side. Also, I think that some clauses that currently seperated with commans should instead use dashes to add emphasis or to clearly separate clauses with internal commas (such as my sentance above).

For reference, I typed in the dashes in the first of my paragraphs above using an HTML named entity (—), but entering the unicode character directly (—) is "cleaner" in some respects. Using a numeric entity (—) will render correctly in browsers that do not support the others (Netscape 4.x for example), but is ugly and hard to understand in the source code.

--BlckKnght 00:35, 27 May 2006 (PDT)
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