[ch 1] People with average grades

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Da~Mike
Astral Realm

[ch 1] People with average grades

Post by Da~Mike »

People with average grades

Anyway, everyone in this school came from one of the four junior high schools in the city. People with average grades. This, of course, includes East Junior High; therefore there should have been people who graduated with Haruhi, who knew what her silence symbolized.

The "people with average grades" sentence is incomplete and seems disconnected from its context. Was something accidentally edited out...?


That part is in parentheses and seems to modify the part right before it, meaning the students who go to their high school are the average ones. Maybe the two should be combined to avoid looking like a fragment?


I suggest just putting that part in parentheses like in the original. And for reference, here's that part:

 このように一瞬にしてカラス全員のハートをいろんな意味でキャッチした涼宮ハルヒだが、翌日以降しばらくは割とおとなしく一見無害な女子高生を演じていた。


 嵐の前の静けさ、という言葉の意味が今の俺にはやく解る。

 いや、この高校に来るのは、もともと市内の四つの中学校出身の生徒たち(成績が普通レベルの奴ら)ばかりだし、東中もその中に入っていたから、涼宮ハルヒと同じ中学から進学した奴らもいるわけで、そんな彼らにしてみればこいつの雌伏状態が何かの前兆であることに気付いていたんだろうが、あいにく俺は東中に知り合いがいなかったしクラスの誰も教えてくれなかったから、スットンキョー自己紹介から数日後、忘れもしない朝のホームルームが始まる前だ。涼宮ハルヒに話しかけるという愚の骨頂なことを俺はしでかしてしまった。

--GDsMDDLFNGR 10:24, 26 May 2006 (PDT)

Hmm, I don't think parentheses are appropriate in the translation as it is currently written. Leaving the fragment would work, since dialogue—in this case, internal dialog—is less formal than other writing. Maybe a comma or dash would be best to get rid of the fragment.

Speaking of dashes, we should probably go through the text and try to standardize our use of dashes. I know a few places they have been put in as single hyphens (-) and sometimes as two hyphens (--). There is also inconsistant spacing around them that should be standardized: where American style prints an em dash without any spaces, European style substitutes an en dash with spaces on each side. Also, I think that some clauses that currently seperated with commans should instead use dashes to add emphasis or to clearly separate clauses with internal commas (such as my sentance above).

For reference, I typed in the dashes in the first of my paragraphs above using an HTML named entity (—), but entering the unicode character directly (—) is "cleaner" in some respects. Using a numeric entity (—) will render correctly in browsers that do not support the others (Netscape 4.x for example), but is ugly and hard to understand in the source code.

--BlckKnght 00:35, 27 May 2006 (PDT)
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