[ch 3] ....meanwhile, she returned, placing the cup of warm

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[ch 3] ....meanwhile, she returned, placing the cup of warm

Postby Da~Mike » Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:06 pm

....meanwhile, she returned, placing the cup of warm tea on the table like a doll and sat opposite me.

The "like a doll" part of this sentance is rather confusing. Did Yuki set the teapot down like a doll would (whatever that means), or is she like a doll when she sits? Does anyone have suggestions on how to improve the sentance? I have already changed "the cup" to "a pot" to match later text, but it still needs some work.

--BlckKnght 02:21, 4 May 2006 (PDT)

The current text is:

I was wondering why Nagato would invite me to her place when her family wasn't around; meanwhile, she returned, placing a pot of warm tea on the table like a doll and sat opposite me.


In the original Japanese version, it is:

年頃の少女が年頃の少年を家人のいない家に連れ込む理由を頭の中に巡らせていると、長門が盆に急須と湯飲みを載せてカラクリ人形のような動きでテーブルに置き、制服のまま俺の向かいにちょこんと座った。

Toshigoro no shoujo ga toshigoro no shounen o kajin no inai ie ni tsurekomu riyuu o atama no naka ni megurasete iru to, Nagato ga bon ni kyuusu to yunomi o nosete karakuri ningyou no you na ugoki de teeburu ni oki, seifuku no mama ore no mukai ni chokon to suwatta.


I make it out to be:

The reasons a girl might have to invite a boy home while her parents were away from the house were going through my head, when Nagato, moving like a mechanical puppet, placed a tray with a small teapot and teacups on the table and sat down demurely in her school uniform, across from me.


Of course, the original text does say toshigoro no shoujo and toshigoro no shounen, that is: it places emphasis on their being "of marriageable years" -- implying that he's thinking she might have invited him for sex. Therefore, it wouldn't be unreasonable to translate this as "young woman" and "young man" instead of "girl" and "boy". However, I think this way works best. I won't quibble if anyone chooses to edit it to be the other way.

I'll make this correction in the text.

--Freak Of Nature 06:44, 4 May 2006 (PDT)
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