Translation Questions - Golden Time

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rpapo
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Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

I am finding myself somewhat at wits end trying to figure out a good way to render what appears to be Kouko's signature expression, something that doesn't really translate nor do I find a good equivalent in normal (or even manga) sound effects references.

In the original Japanese, we find her saying things like this:

「みつお! ふぁーふぁふぁ! ふぁうふぁうふぁー!」

Now the first part is obvious: She's calling Mitsuo, her obsession. But then she goes off into sequences of "fa" or "fau" sounds. In the last few pages, I've rendered this as <sigh>, but that's awkward, and I really need something better, especially since this appears to be a basic characteristic of her speech.

Any ideas out there (just not too far out there)?
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by larethian »

if it were me, I won't waste time draining my brain energy over such stuff, when I could be translating many more lines. when there is no English equivalent sounds, moans, groans, and other giberrish-like noises, I would just romanize the whole thing. I won't even bother putting a translation note unless there is some meaning behind those sounds (plot-wise or the character is really communicating something). :wink:
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

I have two problems: (1) I'm a picky perfectionist, (2) I'm not good enough at Japanese for my pickiness . . . yet.

That said, I realize full well that Japanese uses sound effects far more than English does, and that sometimes presents problems. In this case, it's a matter of presenting this character reasonably correctly, with most if not all her strangeness.

Banri's messed up, and so is Kouko. I keep wondering when the ghost will make his next appearance or commentary . . .
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by Poke2201 »

From the looks of it, you might need to just give a basic sound thats used in most other Japanese works.

Unless its a major part of the character like, Nyoron~ or something.
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by dragonst »

Just change it over in romanji. And it's 'fua', not 'fau'. The english language really isn't equipped to translate such onomatopoeia. In any case, whatever english translation you manage to come up with it would probably also sound a little weird in the context of the story (like 'onee-chan' as opposed to 'sister', to state a common example), so directly writing it in romanji would solve your translation headache and add a tinge of the japanese context of the novel at the same time :D
彼らの任務は一つ。
友軍のために死ぬこと。
誰にも知られることなく、散っていく命がありました。
決して語られることのない戦いがありました。
明日さえも見えない絶望の中で、今日を生きる権利すら奪われた戦士たち。
守るべき祖国から捨てられ、戦争の大義も、勝利の栄光も、自らの名前さえも奪われた戦士たち。
そして、理想を追い求め、自らの手を血に染める戦士たち。
戦場という絶望の中で、彼らが見た希望とは何だったのでしょうか?
そして、彼らが守り抜いたものとは、何だったでしょうか?
死か、それとも解放か?
これは、歴史を変えた名もなき戦士たちの物語。

-戦場のヴァルキュリア3-
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

Where possible, I've been trying to make the conversation sound a little more natural in English, and there are plenty of spots already where I've let a sound effect disappear. The problem here is that it is such a basic characteristic of this character. Almost a kind of signature.

In any case, it's not just "ふぁ". There are several slight variations on the theme:

「『みつお!それは違うわ!』『みつお!それは私のシナリオに書いてないわ!』『みつお!私の言う通りにして!』『みつお!ふぁうふぁうふぁうふぁ!』『みつお!ふぁふぁふぁふぁふぁー!』……こうだぜ。やってらんねぇよ」

“ ‘Mitsuo! That’s not right!’ ‘Mitsuo! That wasn’t what I’d planned!’ ‘Mitsuo! You aren’t following what I said!’ ‘Mitsuo! Faufaufaufa!’ ‘Mitsuo! Fafafafafaa!’ …That’s what it was like. Not a way to live.”

「んだよそれ、全然そんなんじゃねぇよ。初見じゃやっぱわかんねえか。『ふぁー!みつおぉ!んふぁあー!』こうだよ。『ふぁふぁなんだわぁ!ふぁふぁしなさぁい!ふぁふぁしないでぇ!ふぁぁ!みつおぉぉ!ふぁぁああ!』」

“No, it was never quite like that. Of course, what can you know from just one meeting? It was like, ‘Fuaaa! Mitsuoo! Nfuaaa!’ ‘Fuafua What about this! Fuafua Could you please! Fafa We can’t! Faa! Mitsuooo! Faaaa!’ ”

「違う違う、ぜんっぜんそんなんじゃねぇんだよ!もっとこうだよ!『ふぁっふぁー!ふぁあああんっ!みつおぉぉ!ふぁーん!』それでもって、」

“No no, it wasn’t that way at all! It was more like this! ‘Faffaa! Faaaaan! Mitsuoo! Faan!’, more like that,”

And so on . . .
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by dragonst »

Then I guess the best way is to just directly translate into romanji. lol and 'ふ' is fu, so it should be fuaufuaufuau instead, as weird as that sounds o_O
彼らの任務は一つ。
友軍のために死ぬこと。
誰にも知られることなく、散っていく命がありました。
決して語られることのない戦いがありました。
明日さえも見えない絶望の中で、今日を生きる権利すら奪われた戦士たち。
守るべき祖国から捨てられ、戦争の大義も、勝利の栄光も、自らの名前さえも奪われた戦士たち。
そして、理想を追い求め、自らの手を血に染める戦士たち。
戦場という絶望の中で、彼らが見た希望とは何だったのでしょうか?
そして、彼らが守り抜いたものとは、何だったでしょうか?
死か、それとも解放か?
これは、歴史を変えた名もなき戦士たちの物語。

-戦場のヴァルキュリア3-
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

I treated it as if the sound effects were katakana, where ファ is represented as 'fa'. Since Takemiya used the smaller ぁ after the ふ, I decided to use the same rule as is currently defined for katakana. In any case it sounds a little less strange that way. Just a little.

ファ = ふぁ = fa
フィ = ふぃ = fi
フ = ふ = fu
フェ = ふぇ = fe
フォ = ふぉ = fo

「フィファイフォフん 」と大人は話しました。 8-)
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

New question: I've run into a word I can't seem to find defined anywhere, but which appears to be an adjective somehow related to cats. The word is みょーん (myoon), and the context where it was used was with regards to a female member of the Tea Ceremony club. This girl, and her partner in crime, are introduced with the following sentences:
その名も、さおちゃん&しーちゃん。猛々しいのがさおちゃんで、比較的みょーんとしているのがしーちゃん。
Sono na mo, Sao-chan & Shii-chan. Takedakeshii no ga Sao-chan de, hikakuteki myoon to shite-iru no ga Shii-chan.
The only references I can seem to find online seem to treat this word as a feline attribute, but just what, I cannot seem to find out.

EDIT: The way this word is being used, it could well be a sound-effect word . . . in the sense that Japanese use such things, which could indicate a sound, a motion, or an aspect of the situation.
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by Zell_ff8 »

(1) The previous one, is just gibberish. They're mocking Kôko imitating her. They soing "She says 'Mitsuooooo blablablablablabla and this blabalblablabla", sort of.

(2) The new one is yes, indeed a giseigo. You can see it for the form (kana, no apparent meaning, even a ー) + とする.
Myon, at least as I know (it may have other meanings) is a breath, tiredness, sigh; it's what in manga/anime is represented with a ghost going out of their mouth, or the mushroom in grief.

The sentence may be comparing the feroucious, active, loud Sao-chan, with the calm, quiet and sighing Shii-chan
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

That's somewhat consistent with the images I saw related to this word, though there still seems to be an overabundance of cat images. I was beginning to wonder if this girl, Shii-chan, was wearing 猫耳... :roll:
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by Zell_ff8 »

For things hard to figure you could try some japanese SNS and ask natives directly. For the moment I've asked about みょーん in Y!tiebukuro. hopefully someone will answer (?)
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by Zell_ff8 »

Incredible fast replies xD

*pw_youran: ふにゃふにゃ(やわらかい)・だらけている、という感じ。おそらく、猛々しいの反対の意味を持つ言葉として使っているのだ
*rxmyt122: 「みょーん」は若者に流行している顔文字です。アスキーアートの一つです。「ω」を使ったいかにもノンビリしたとぼけた顔です。
*gtasat: 「ボーッとしている」とか「ふわふわしている」とかと同じだと思います。
*bababigban4188:「妙」(みょう)という言葉があります。「普通とは違って,変なこと。不思議なこと。」という意味です。この妙を感覚的な表現にしたものが「みょーん」で、ぼんやりしてる,普通の子とは違うというような意味での“不思議ちゃん"みたいな感じの子だと推察します。

All are more or less consistent, and is what japanese understand from it, so that should be the real one ;)
Also consistent with cats, cats are ・ω・ most of time xD
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

Thanks for the references! You're a good deal further along in Japanese reading comprehension than I.

As it turned out, I didn't need to adjust the translation much, all the more so because not every sound effect gets brought over to English as a sound effect.
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Re: Translation Questions - Golden Time

Post by rpapo »

Here's something that (I think) you guys may be able to answer for me, and I really want to get right: In my current page of Golden Time, Kouko and Banri are ambushed by a new club recruiter, a tall female third-year student. I think she is NANA (see the big foldout illustration at http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... 06-007.jpg, right-hand upper corner), but the text doesn't say at this point.

Anyway, in describing herself, she says:
私も実はここの学生じゃなくて、●女の三年なんだ
This translates roughly to:
I’m not really even a student here, a third year female ______
The mystery is the dot. The Japanese word for the dot is "Kirumaru" (black dot, black spot, failure), but I don't see just how that describes her. She could be a washout, having dropped out of the school (but not the clubs, apparently). But if she is NANA, then she remains involved in the story, and in fact appears in the last page of this book as a character lurking in the shadows. That aspect of her matches how she is drawn in the illustration, as a sort of female warrior.

Any ideas?
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