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KuroiHikari
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by KuroiHikari »

EusthEnoptEron wrote:"That's the spirit." "That's what I wanted to hear." "Now that's better." - something along these lines.
I see, Thank you
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Mystes
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Mystes »

Can someone help me with the information on the Wikipedia article on SAO? Just want to get the most infos out of there.

もともとは著者が2002年の電撃ゲーム小説大賞応募用に執筆した長編を、「九里史生」名義で自身のウェブサイトに掲載したオンライン小説である。本編の連載は同年11月から2008年7月まで続き、2004年ころには既にオンライン小説として高い評価と知名度を得るに至った[2]。2005年1月から、最長のエピソードとなった「アリシゼーション」の連載が開始される。この連載の気分転換に書かれた『アクセル・ワールド』が2008年に第15回電撃小説大賞の大賞を受賞。その際、本作を読んだ担当編集者の提案により電撃文庫から商業作品として刊行されることになった[3]。商業化にあたってウェブ版の内容・表現に大幅な加筆修正がなされている[4]。商業化により、著者のウェブサイトに掲載されていた本シリーズは商業化決定以降の連載を除き削除されており、サイト上の「お知らせ」[5]によってその経緯を知ることができる。
2012年4月現在の発行部数は230万部[6]。『このライトノベルがすごい!2012』では、作品部門ランキングとキャラクター部門総合ランキングで1位を獲得している。
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Tap »

It's not meant as a refined script, but anyway...

Originally a long novel written as a submission for 2002's Dengeki Game Novel Prize, and published as an online novel on his own website under a penname of "Kunori Fumio".
The original story was serialised from November that year to July 2008, and it was already assessed as a famous online novel around 2004.
What became its longest episode, "Alicization", started serialisation from January 2005.
"Accel World", which he wrote as a change of pace took the 15th Dengeki Novel Prize in 2008.
As a result, the work ended up commercial publication in Dengeki Bunko after the supervising editor, who read it, proposed it.
Many corrections and modifications were made from the web edition with the commercialisation.
Due to the commercialisation, the original series published on the author's website was removed, excluding those from after the decision to commercialise, with details available on the site's "Notice" section.
It currently numbers over 2.3 million copies printed as of April 2012.
In "Kono Light Novel ga Sugoi! 2012", it took 1st place under the light novel and overall character rankings.
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Mystes
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Mystes »

Thanks a lot, Tap! :D
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Mystes »

Anyone know how the hell do we pronounce that title?

"月見月理解の探偵殺人"
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EusthEnoptEron
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by EusthEnoptEron »

Tsukimid(z)uki Rikai no Tantei Satsujin. The writer is "Akatsuki Senri" btw.

The illustrations were great. Didn't like the story, though.
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Mystes »

Thanks, Eusth. :D
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by KuroiHikari »

Could someone clarify about the second line?
Spoiler! :
王家から存在を抹消されたとはいえ、フィアナはオルデシア帝国の元第二王女だ。アレイシア精霊学院に編入する際、選別にわたされたのかもしれない。
Although her existence was erased from the royal family, Fianna was the second princess of the Ordesia Empire. _____
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Darklor »

Could someone check how accurate this translation is?: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=4422&start=30#p158017

Maybe we have there a new translator... :mrgreen:
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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YoakeNoHikari
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by YoakeNoHikari »

The accuracy is questionable at best, and the English isn't very good either.
KuroiHikari wrote:Could someone clarify about the second line?
Spoiler! :
王家から存在を抹消されたとはいえ、フィアナはオルデシア帝国の元第二王女だ。アレイシア精霊学院に編入する際、選別にわたされたのかもしれない。
Although her existence was erased from the royal family, Fianna was the second princess of the Ordesia Empire. _____
The moment she's matriculated into the Aleisia Academy of Souls, she'll probably be separated off.
Even eternity can be encased in ice.
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Ryu »

Don't intend to necropost, but just wanna test out my kinda rusty translating skill. ~_~

Source viewtopic.php?f=55&t=4677#p120413

Translation:
Spoiler! :
He woke up to just another morning.

It's not like the world's gonna start rotating in the opposite direction with his advancement into high school.

He only splashed his face, as he will be doing a proper wash later, and changed into his usual clothes.

Miyuki has already started preparing breakfast, as he headed into the dining room.

"Morning, Miyuki. Kinda early today, aren't you?"

Dawn has just started breaking, and the first rays of sun aren't even in sight yet.

Certainly, it was way too early for school.

"Good morning, Brother. Here."

"Thanks."

The glass she handed to him contained fresh juice.

With that customary 'thanks', he drained the juice in one go, and returned the glass to her outstretched hands.

Miyuki has a complete grasp of Tatsuya's pace of breathing. [?? Huh? I don't understand the point of this line.]

"Brother, I was wondering if I could go to school with you again today..."

She lifted a picnic basket packed with sandwiches and held it with both hands, upon saying that. She turned to look back at him.

She was not starting breakfast preparations, but rather, finishing.

"Sure... but in your uniform?"

Compared to Tatsuya, who was in his gym clothes, Miyuki was in her uniform, which could be seen under the apron. And thus his question.

"I have not submitted the application on my choice of schools to the teacher... Anyway, I can't accompany you in your training anymore."

So that's why she wore her uniform this early in the morning. To show him her normal-high-school-girl look.

"All right. You don't need to join me in my morning training anyway, but I'm sure Master will be pleased. I just hope he doesn't go wild from being overly pleased!"

"Please protect me then, if that happens!"

She gave him a wink. A smile appeared on Tatsuya's face upon seeing her expression.
Did some rephrasing, even restructured some sentences for better flow.
Last edited by Ryu on Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:27 am, edited 5 times in total.
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YoakeNoHikari
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by YoakeNoHikari »

Yep, seems pretty good.

達也の呼吸は、深雪によって完全に掌握されていた。

呼吸 here is just an expression for his routine/way of doing things.
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Ryu »

YoakeNoHikari wrote:Yep, seems pretty good.

達也の呼吸は、深雪によって完全に掌握されていた。

呼吸 here is just an expression for his routine/way of doing things.
Thanks for the comment.

Oh, so it had a figurative meaning...

Still, that doesn't seem to fit well into the context. Does it mean that Miyuki's good grasp of his routine allowed her to plan beforehand when to tell him her request (that she wants to go with him to school)? Doesn't seem to be the case for me. I would've removed that line, seeing it still doesn't make much sense.

Oh well, maybe some lines were not included in the web novel, which made it look strange.
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by YoakeNoHikari »

The line was there because Miyuki knew he'd drain the cup in one gulp, which is why her hands were still outstretched.
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Re: Generic Translated Content, Feedback Appreciated

Post by Ryu »

YoakeNoHikari wrote:The line was there because Miyuki knew he'd drain the cup in one gulp, which is why her hands were still outstretched.
Oh, I didn't consider that. Fair enough.

Though the 'hands were still outstretched' interpretation didn't occur to me when I was translating it. Somehow it still feels off...

Never mind, it's not really important. Once again, thank you for your comments. Glad my skill isn't so rusty after all :D
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