[Ch 5] Sentence Clarifications

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Nandeyanen
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[Ch 5] Sentence Clarifications

Post by Nandeyanen »

The poor girl seemed very troubled, since she has been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie.
It sounds a bit odd to me. I think it'd sound a bit better as "The poor girl seemed very troubled, it's no wonder, since she's been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie." Without the "it's no wonder" or a "Probably" it sounds odd. Maybe it's just me...
As I urged him to hide inside my bag, Shamisen replied boastfully, "All right then."
Boastfully seems to be an odd choice of word, though I'm not sure what it would be. Perhaps condescendingly? Or maybe haughtily?
"By the way, she sure knows how to write this many words for a flyer."
Doesn't seem to make very much sense as it is currently worded.
She is able to search for the paranormal, but it contradicts with her own views on the paranormal world.
Should the second "paranormal" be "real" or "normal" maybe paranormal world with "reality"?
As I walked with my arms crossed, a bunch of people in stateless medieval costumes walked past me and turned into the corridor corner.
Is it really stateless? Stateless seems like an odd word to use.
Haruhi was the only one who thought the movie production was going according to plan, while the vertical lines just increase and darken on my face, as well as Koizumi's and Asahina-san's.
Vertical lines? Should it be wrinkles? Or is it actually vertical lines?
Maybe I should start by sending their photos and resumes.
Should it be "sending out".
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Nandeyanen
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Post by Nandeyanen »

err, I mistagged something. It should be...
As I walked with my arms crossed, a bunch of people in stateless medieval costumes walked past me and turned into the corridor corner.
Is it really stateless? Stateless seems like an odd word to use.

Blah... I don't like not being able to edit my posts...
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Nandeyanen
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Post by Nandeyanen »

Also,
Haruhi exclaimed delightfully, while I widened my jaw in shock.
Is it fine to alter the "I widened my jaw in shock" to "My jaw dropped from shock"
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Kinny Riddle
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Re: [Ch 5] Sentence Clarifications

Post by Kinny Riddle »

Nandeyanen wrote:
The poor girl seemed very troubled, since she has been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie.
It sounds a bit odd to me. I think it'd sound a bit better as "The poor girl seemed very troubled, it's no wonder, since she's been permanently scarred mentally by Haruhi's movie." Without the "it's no wonder" or a "Probably" it sounds odd. Maybe it's just me...
I have no problem with it, go ahead and edit it.
As I urged him to hide inside my bag, Shamisen replied boastfully, "All right then."
Boastfully seems to be an odd choice of word, though I'm not sure what it would be. Perhaps condescendingly? Or maybe haughtily?
Perhaps condescending sounds better.
"By the way, she sure knows how to write this many words for a flyer."
Doesn't seem to make very much sense as it is currently worded.
The Chinese text was confusingly difficult to translate, perhaps you could make more sense than I could.

"話又說回來﹐她竟然可以寫出這麼多拗口的字?"
She is able to search for the paranormal, but it contradicts with her own views on the paranormal world.
Should the second "paranormal" be "real" or "normal" maybe paranormal world with "reality"?
No. What Koizumi meant was that while Haruhi wanted to actively search for the paranormal, she is subconsciously bound by her own "common sense", in that part of her doesn't believe that these stuff are real, which causes great frustration for her.
As I walked with my arms crossed, a bunch of people in stateless medieval costumes walked past me and turned into the corridor corner.
Is it really stateless? Stateless seems like an odd word to use.
"Stateless" refers to those costumes of an unidenfiable country of origin.
Haruhi was the only one who thought the movie production was going according to plan, while the vertical lines just increase and darken on my face, as well as Koizumi's and Asahina-san's.
Vertical lines? Should it be wrinkles? Or is it actually vertical lines?
Maybe wrinkles is the right word, or maybe the author was referring to those black lines manga characters have whenever they feel gloomy. But the former would make more sense.
Maybe I should start by sending their photos and resumes.
Should it be "sending out".
Agreed.
Haruhi exclaimed delightfully, while I widened my jaw in shock.
Is it fine to alter the "I widened my jaw in shock" to "My jaw dropped from shock"
Go ahead.

And I don't know why you can't edit your posts. I have no problem editing mine.
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Post by SubordinateFive »

This particular forum is moderated by the Project Editors and the Project Translators. Nandeyanen, though a frequent contributor, is not in either usergroup. Kinny Riddle, however, is.

Maybe that has something to do with it. (For example, I can edit my posts only in the Yuki Nagato Fan Club forum, since it's moderated by the Yuki Nagato Fan Club and I'm a member.)
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Nandeyanen
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Post by Nandeyanen »

The Chinese text was confusingly difficult to translate, perhaps you could make more sense than I could.

"話又說回來﹐她竟然可以寫出這麼多拗口的字?"
If someone posted the original Japanese text, then I could try, but unfortunately, I can only know how to speak in chinese, I don't know how to read and translate it...

Also, if someone could also post the original text for the "vertical lines" sentence, that would probably be helpful, as it might clarify the sentence. If it actually is "vertical lines," then we could probably link it to somewhere that explains those black lines in the context of manga.
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Post by Guest »

"話又說回來﹐她竟然可以寫出這麼多拗口的字?"

literal translation
Coming Back to the subject, She unexpectedly possible/maybe wrote(came out with) so many hard-to-pronounce words

My Interpretation
On the other hand, I was/am surprised that she wrote so many hard-to-pronounce words.
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Post by velocity7 »

Here's the original text:
Kinny Riddle wrote:On it was written the above provocative words and some other stuff about how the year's going to end soon, I don't really mind that, but wouldn't that mislead people into thinking only Asahina-san would appear in this movie? If someone can actually figure out what sort of movie this is just by reading the above promo, I'd look at him with a new light of respect. Frankly, even as the cameraman, I wasn't sure what sort of movie we're making, and I never had much of a chance to express my opinions on this. She's probably not sure of it herself. By the way, she sure knows how to write this many words for a flyer.
Tanigawa Nagaru wrote:いたずらに扇情的なだけだとか今年はあと二ヶ月くらいしか残っていないとかいうツッコミは封印してやってもいいが、これでは朝比奈さんが出ているということしか解らない。このコピーを読んでどんな映画なのか想像できる人間がいたら、俺は違った意味で尊敬する。まあ撮影している俺にだってまだどんな映画か解らないんだし文句のつけようもない。ハルヒにも解ってないんじゃないか? それにしてもよく辞書なしで雲霞って書けたな。
In bold is the stuff we're looking at. ;)

My rough translation of the particular line is something along the lines of...
"I bet Haruhi's probably not sure of it herself... in any case she sure knows how to write stuff up without a dictionary."

I realize my translation is a bit lacking so someone fill in on that.
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Post by Kinny Riddle »

Maybe Kyon means Haruhi managed to write up so many complex kanji without even looking up the dictionary.

In order to have the English version make sense, it's time to reword the flyer with some very complex English words. (Words like "paraphernalia" lol )
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Post by Nandeyanen »

The second sentence of the text baffles me, and I don't think I can translate it using my amateur's knowledge of Japanese. However, I do believe that I can safely say that the first sentence would be better translated as, "Haruhi doesn't know either, does she?"

As for the second sentence, "雲霞って書けたな" is the portion that stumps me, and I have nearly no idea what it means...
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Greg
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gratuitously

Post by Greg »

"I gratuitously received it at once."

I don't know Japanese, but this is almost certainly a poor phrase here.

This definition of gratuitously is the only one in common use:
"3. Unnecessary or unwarranted; unjustified: gratuitous criticism."

Gratefully or graciously would work, but might change the meaning more that is desired. To keep the free meaning, gratis could be used but I don't know how to make it not be stilted. Freebie is slang, but it is another choice: perhaps as "I quickly accepted the freebie."
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