Itsuka Tenma no Kuro Usagi

[larethian]

great! I've lost most of my web coding skills since graduation, and they are old-skool stuff anyway lol. with the letter-spacing style I don't need that annoying  
thanks, I'll incorporate it later

[Sylthfarn]

Wow... there's only one translator for this series. I'm still kinda weak with the Kanji, but I would like to help out with translating somehow... I'll probably have a lot of time after my final exams are done, which starts next week. So... if you can show me the ropes I'll be grateful.

[larethian]

let me know again once you're ready.
and in case you're bored, don't touch volume 1, since I'm already doing round robin translations page by page for several chapters of several novels concurrently. this is a new tactic I devised to prevent me from getting sucked into translation and lose focus in my work, while at the same time allow me to push out stuff at a reasonable rate, hahahaha.

[larethian]

completed volume 1 finally. woot. so many things I'd like to spoil. well, don't think I can catch up to the anime, so I'll just take my time.

[Kadi]

Liked it. Probably better than DenYuuDen. Want more. Want to see where it goes. Makes me want to edit. But then Eusth would kill me for not finishing our project (after I crashed all computers I have access to and on which I can edit). And you would kill me for totally obliterating the original style. And my professor would kill me for several more reasons.

Some wordings you may want to reconsider:

Spoiler contains copied lines from Vol 1, epilogue

Spoiler! :

In general: Himea uses "Taito" to refer to him even when she directly talks to him, and you translated it as 3rd person at least a few times. I think Japanese people do that to be polite or to not appear too close, but in English, I think it's odd. Or distracting ("Why does she use 3rd person? Isn't she directly talking to him? Did I miss something and she's talking to someone else?"). So you might want to reconsider if it's unique (enough) to the author's style to keep it or if it's normal or if you want to smooth the reading experience...

As he said that, he started walking. He walked past the quiet students and sensei, out of the classroom.
Sensei feels odd, since it's neither a suffix nor an address => teacher?

The Miyasaka High red pleated-skirt sailor uniform was judged by the students of the neighborhood to be a nice looking uniform that even a girl with fair looks should supposedly look cute in it, but there weren't many girls who look good in it.
I take it the uniform makes girls cute, but it's difficult for them to seem beautiful in a classical sense? I suggest using beautiful. Connects nicely with the "so much more beautiful" in the line after it.

[...]but, the only thing we must never allow is the completion of the secret art --- << Bliss >>, by that witch."
Too literal? Sounds a bit stiff

Might add some more once I have the time, or write another post, dunno. I only know there were some more details I noticed... Gonna add my hopes and fears for this series, too, maybe we can get a discussion unrelated to the translation itself going...

[larethian]

have you read the entire Denyuuden, or just what's translated? XD

unfortunately, I don't have the time to translate everything , but since Denyuuden has more volumes and a lot more characters, and 17 volumes of side stories and back stories, it's much richer in world setting and characters, so I like it better, especially with the crap the characters have to grow through. of course, Itsuten can grow, but unfortunately, Taito and Himea are never going to get the kind of back stories Ryner, Ferris, Sion, Claugh, Luke, Pia, Lucile, etc. (too many to name) have. well, Himea has in a way. but since Taito has 9 year memory lapse, and Himea is imprisoned for 9 years, and due to the setting, the back stories are not going to be as rich as Denyuuden. the good news is that Kagami said that the scale of things is going to be big, just like Denyuuden (and it'll start to become mind staggering after volumes 3-5), so yeah, look forward to it, and I foresee this to be a 20 volume series or something along those lines. And this has a lot more romance stuff than Denyuuden.

thanks for your suggestions, as usual. since I think in Japanese from time to time, it doesn't feel weird nor strange. though I thought it wouldn't matter that much since I am translating it to Nihonglish rather than English but I'll have to consider it from the perspective of pure English readers. I'll bookmark them and consider them at a later date. at any rate, since you know some Japanese, you'll be an invaluable editor. there are actually inconsistencies here and there, so I really need someone to proof read and cross check to a certain degree. style-wise, I'll prefer to leave it to majority readers' views, though it's open for discussion (not now though, want to focus on churning out the series). It's not so much that I want to keep the sentence fragmentation and ordering, but I want to keep the "emphasis" and "pausing/breaking (which kind of lets an idea seep into the reader)" nature of the fragmented deliveries. It'll be great if it can be reworked to better English while retaining that. the sensei thing is the kind of inconsistency I'm talking about, sometimes I use teacher, sometimes I use sensei (yes it should be only used in addressing), but I'm too focused in translating, and didn't bother to fix them.

[Kadi]

Let's see let's see let's see...

Nope, haven't read the whole DenYuuDen, I think I even missed some of the translated chapters. And you're getting right to the core of the matter: I dislike DYD a bit for the epic, endless shitstorm of tragedy the characters have to go through, without any realistic hope. It's all happened before, after all (in-universe, I mean)... I hope ItsuTen will go down a slightly different road, without the teaser at the end of Vol 1's epilogue turning out as disastrous as it did in DYD. Although a free-for-all with shifting allegiances between "the 5" could be interesting to watch, although unlikely. Anyway, since you said it's more romance-centric, I'm even more hyped up now...
Can't say much about amount and depth of characters yet, it was only the first volume and we had to get a feeling for the world first, so I'm not going to judge yet. But from what I remember from DYD, comedy is mainly left to side-stories and Ryner+Ferris (or Ryner+someone). Since I hope for a lighter atmosphere for ItsuTen, I like how Gekkou and Mirai get their moments as well.

About translating in general... because the translator thinks a lot in the origin language, it's normal for him to miss some things. That's why I as an editor completely ignore the RAWs and only have a look at the original sentence when I just can't find a good/appropriate solution (so I might not be THAT good as an editor). I've experienced that it works better when you want to naturalize the translation. And then Eusth goes over my edits and I go over his again, and in the end, we re-read the chapter as a whole, and I hope, at the end we will finish our best translation so far. Looking good so far, because Eusth is also a hell of a good editor... *returns to topic*
Anyway, feel free to translate any way you like. With a bit of luck you'll find just the editor that fits your needs, who considers the purely English point of view for you (or have you already found your "destined one"?). Well, I'll continue to drop some pointers, and the translation seems pretty solid for now. Maybe I'd change my mind if I actually tried to edit it, but I doubt it.

Didn't have time to re-read it yet (Kadi wanted to train to become a good wife, so I had to go along ~~), so no new pointers for now, though.

Ohh, and to spew some empty phrases in the end: Just translate whatever you like, however you like it, no pressure. Although you would to me a favor by translating ItsuTen. That's all. (Work, my tricksy manipulation, WORK!)

[Sylthfarn]

やった！試験が全部終わりだ！どうやって始めますか？

[larethian]

just register here:
http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... ation_Page

and get started

[Kadi]

I just stumbled upon a relatively new promo video (for the anime): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8tXtrznEM0

Opinions, please. I'm... less than amazed. Except for the action scenes, it seems like a fan-service-overloaded love comedy with middleschoolers...

(Btw, studio is Zexcs after all... to me, it seems like Lare's fears came true)

[Doraneko]

I haven't read the novels and watched the PV with no prior knowledge of the series...

In short, I couldn't help but bursted into laughter when the English narration kicked in.

The whole thing is so weird, with fanservice shots of panties and pussies being repeatedly pushed onto your face, while the narrator sounds like he is narrating for some epic SF series.

No matter as a promotion of the anime or the novel, the PV failed pretty badly.

[TheGiftedMonkey]

"To bring you back, long forgotten, for 78,840 hours..."
Wow...

Animes like THIS are the reason I don't bother trying new series anymore. Even if the stories have an original element to them, the majority is still the same rehashed crap.

[larethian]

(Btw, studio is Zexcs after all... to me, it seems like Lare's fears came true)

no this is not the worst yet. based on the character cast and the flow of the story, I have reason to believe that 6 volumes will be adapted into 1 cour, with volume 4 over 400 pages. can anything else get worse than that!? groan! and yeah, the panties fair is disturbing. if the adaptations for Kagami's works were any good, I might not even work on this, and just summarize the differences in some forum.......

PV-wise, I still feel this is the better PV, despite not having any animation especially if you can read the text (well, take it as the PV for novels):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfI2sNKx ... r_embedded

[ShadowZeroHeart]

I just stumbled upon a relatively new promo video (for the anime): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8tXtrznEM0

Opinions, please. I'm... less than amazed. Except for the action scenes, it seems like a fan-service-overloaded love comedy with middleschoolers...

(Btw, studio is Zexcs after all... to me, it seems like Lare's fears came true)

Actually the story is not overloaded with love comedy? Its more of a guy wanting to sure of his feelings, kinda? Its not a bad story, provided it gets to where he went mad, otherwise, its gonna be rather plain.

But they probably wont make a 26episode season, so its gonna turn into crap if you ask me.

P.S. nice song in there!

[Darklor]

Urghs, this fanservice is really a crapppy idea.

Is the a new song?