Campione! General Discussion

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How did you find reading Campione! ?

It was good! Please do more!
2548
96%
It was interesting.
80
3%
Not as good as I thought.
24
1%
Boring. Not touching it again.
7
0%
 
Total votes : 2659

Campione! General Discussion

Postby Mystes » Sat Mar 12, 2011 9:09 am

Spoiler! :
Hiya folks! Before posting, I'd like to wish a good recovery to all the people injured by the earthquakes these days. be it China or Japan, I wish that they're going well.

Ok, now, time for the project suggestion. First a brief summary taken from Shadow.
ShadowZeroHeart wrote:28位 カンピオーネ!(Kanpioone!)
The chinese official translation calls it "Campione!"

[spoiler]The setting of this is in modern Japan. The story goes by that Campione, or Champions, are people that have "surpassed a deity", as in having been able to "kill" a being of superio presence, a God. Even though such Gods would revive after some time due to human's continuous beliefs, Champions will inherit part of the powers of the God(s) they kill.

The protagonist is a normal average high school boy that has slayed a God without much people realising his identity. He also has a beautiful follower that pursues him.

On one incident, a God's artifact has been discovered. And the God wants it back, badly. Thus, humans(magicians and all) decided to ask a Champion to guard this artifact. However, there were no suitable candidates. In such, the follower that recommends the new unknown Champion(despite his unwillingness). This eventually leads to him getting dragged into another series of events...

P.S. his powers are unstable and restrictive. Despite the name and ability of the God he slayed then being revealed, it is not revealed about what actually happened back then, at least not in the first two volumes of the novel.


Now for a teaser, I decided to hide some in the spoiler tags. You'll see a great difference if I hide some text. After, you can re-read by un-hiding the tags. BTW, it's the latter part of Volume 5.

“Hm, I know it. I’ll endure it for sure…..so please, Godo.”

Courageously nodding to swear it, Godo kisses again her lips.

Her lips and tongue, the saliva and teeth, if he reaches these places, Godo wouldn’t let them go.

As he was going to do this, Godo felt as if there was a passage opened between Erika and him.

Spoiler! :
The eyes couldn’t see the conjured passage. After the passage went to here, there’s the possibility to transmit to the partner the strongest ‘protection’.


Godo’s attention turned to the inferior belly.

In the oriental medicine, there is somewhere called the pubes. The deepest part of the body.

Spoiler! :
From there he started to elevate his own conjuring power. In that procedure it’s by refining the conjuring power that the ‘protection’ is formed.


From the lower belly to the belly itself, to the chest and to the throat, and after, to the mouth.

This is the conjuring power that is rising along the backbone, from the lips to Erika’s mouth.

Spoiler! :
What is changing this power to a clean ‘protection’ is the longing towards her. To protect her, wishing to give strength to her, Kusanagi Godo’s heart is pledging like that.


“I’m felt it……I felt the thing you gave me, Godo.”

Closing her eyes due to fascination, Erika slightly murmurs.

She was saying that while kissing. The trembling lips, soft and sweet, have all been felt.

Though, this is only the opening, and not the most important point.

Spoiler! :
To quickly refine the ‘protection’ towards the body, Godo accelerated the flow.

  
“——!?”

Erika briefly let out moans of pain.

Instantly after letting go her lips, panting with tears in her eyes.

“Erika, please bear the pain for a moment, and it’ll be fine after……”

“Hm, hm, no problem. Please continue. It’s just that it suddenly accelerated, and surprised me. Next time I’ll bear it fine. Please go on to the next step……?”

She was obviously acting brave. But Godo care too much.

Erika Blandeli’s love and flesh, were all Godo’s things. The reason why the young woman is bearing the pain’s reason was the privilege she was giving him.

He wouldn’t let people other than him give any pain to Erika.

Spoiler! :
That’s why he is giving him that pain. The more pain he gives to her, the biggest ‘protection’ she’ll have.


Godo looks at her again. And she returns a warm look. Both of them slightly nod as signal. That way again, they deeply exchanged their lips.

“Guu——! No problem, continue……!”

Erika painfully braces herself.

Godo tightly embraces her body to support her, holding her hand to encourage her. Erika also embraces back Godo. Strongly so she can imagine the pain towards her.

Spoiler! :
Godo didn’t think that much, and gives her the Verethragna’s ‘protection’.


“Ah, AAAAAAAAHHH!”

Erika started to scream. But Godo didn’t stop. He can’t heist.

Finally, the ‘protection’ arrived to the deepest part of her body, the important part of her lower body—the pubes.

“——!”

Erika’s hoarse scream, wasn’t already a voice anymore.

She tightly held Godo’s hand, and her other hand was deeply grabbing Godo’s back to the point that there were bloodstains.

She should be more in pain than me. Thus, that pain doesn’t count much.

Spoiler! :
The divine holy army’s protection.

The brilliant hero who was awarded the India’s winner. (T/N : It can also be read, in Chinese, as the sealed winner instead of India’s winner, since the character 印 can be the first character of India or simply ‘seal’.)


The wave of conjured power sent to her, was making her body and mind strong.

Spoiler! :
In a short period of time she could adapt to the stubborn astral environment of a Campione, where injuries to a certain level can be healed immediately with the endless power of life, and the capacity to have the greatest instinct in the highest state of a battle, were all in Erika Blandeli’s body.

Erika finally released the power.


Her body was entirely wet with sweat, but the shade of pain has already disappeared from her beauty.

Holding tightly Godo’s hand, she slightly smiled.

In her smile, there was a bit of exhaustion. But, this was an entirely comfortable impression.

Godo left her body. Though he was reluctant to leave Erika’s blazing and soft body, but there would be a problem if it continues like this……

Erika has immediately gotten up too.

With a smile on her face, she plunged towards the unguarded Godo. Her weight made Godo feel very good.

But the rational Godo made him not continue like that.

Spoiler! :
“W-wait. The ritual is already finished. Verethragna’s ‘protection’ is already in your body. So we don’t need to go to the next step.”


“I already know that. This is to return my love to Godo. Please obediently accept it.”

This time it was Erika’s turn to push me down.
Well, just wanted to say that 'conjuring power' can be 'Dharani'. Thanks to Darklor. Also, it's a pretty quick translation, so don't think that it's the most exquise quality.

Post your comments.

P-S: For some reason, the spoiler tag couldn't hide the teaser, so I used the quote tag instead...[/spoiler]

EDIT:

Just wanted to point out a rule in the forum.

Please Note: Since this is an English forum we ask that all communication be in English. Ideally this means using proper English, with appropriate punctuation and capitalization, at all times. Excessive abbreviations and "l33t speak" are particularly unwelcome. We appreciate that English is not the first language of many of our members but ask that they try their best never-the-less; though in fairness, it is the native English speakers who abuse these guidelines most often.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Darklor » Sun Mar 13, 2011 11:14 am

So when will you create the teaser project page?
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Sun Mar 13, 2011 11:19 am

Darklor wrote:So when will you create the teaser project page?


Only if I know how...
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Re: Campione!

Postby rpapo » Sun Mar 13, 2011 11:22 am

Kira, perhaps you don't know how things work around here yet? Darklor always teases for teasers, and if you give him half a chance (and the text) he will likely go ahead and create the teaser page himself.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Sun Mar 13, 2011 11:47 am

OK, Darklor, you can create the page. And BTW, since there's no damn article on it on Wikipedia, I don't know the author's name pronounciation (though I think the illustrator is Shikorusukī), and the summary comes from SZH.
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Re: Campione!

Postby rpapo » Sun Mar 13, 2011 12:07 pm

In my case, with Golden Time, there was no wiki page in English either. I took the Japanese wiki page, translated it, and put it up. Unfortunately, the guardians of the Wiki world deemed it "not notable" and deleted the page a few months later. They don't like to keep pages around for single books, or even short series, unless they are very famous.

Fortunately, I was able to preserve a copy of the page for reposting later, and our Russian allies translated the page for themselves. I did the Spanish translation. The Japanese, Korean, Russian and Spanish pages continue to exist. The English page was the only one deleted. I have not reposted the article yet because I don't want to be blacklisted from Wiki, and there are other things I do on Wikipedia that I would prefer to be able to continue to do.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Sun Mar 13, 2011 12:13 pm

Well, at least Baike exists for me. If not, it would be damn hard for me since I don't think that there's a Chinese page on wikipedia about it.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Darklor » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:29 pm

Done - you just need to add your teaser. : http://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index ... rcid=87257
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Campione!

Postby Darklor » Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:51 pm

This is the feed back thread for Campione!

Please tell us what you think of it.
Please don't mind my bad english since I'm german.

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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:25 pm

Prologue finished. Needs to be heavily proofread.

Spoiler! :
Magician from the 19th century, Alberto Ricardo's book, Demon King.

......To them who accomplished something that made people fall into awe, I wish that I could describe them as Campione – Godslayer – .

Between all virtuous readers, maybe some will think that I exaggerate a lot with that title and frowned, and maybe others would think that I made a fuss of it.

However, I want to emphasize on that, once again.

Campione – Godslayer – is the lord.

Since he can kill a heavenly deity, and can therefore fetch the highly divine powers held by the gods.

Campione – Godslayer – is the king.

Since they have in their hands the power to kill a deity, and can therefore dominate the mortals on Earth.

Campione – Godslayer – is the devil.

Since in the mortal ones who live in the world, no one can dare have the power to match his!

From the early 20th century, the cardinal Antonio Tebes gave a letter to the Vatican

In the purpose to go against the Providence, playing with the mage's demonic knowledge, he got from them the title of King.

Concerning the name that you are hearing more or less.

Campione – Godslayer – is Epimetheus's illegitimate child. The devil.

Unfortunately, us mortals cannot fight against it.

The ones who can fight against them, there are only the ones who have powers which rival to godslayers are the ones Our Heavenly Father's angels have tabooed, the pagan gods......

Extrait from the beginning of the 21st century, from the reports which there is a new Japanese godslayer

In the Persian mythology, Verethragna is a god which has many complex attributes,

He was originally following the main god in the Indian mythology——Mithra's war god, and after Zoroastrianism started worship him as a military god, he has been promoted as a divine guard.

And this god has the characteristic of being in ten forms.

At the beginning, his form is the one of an impetuous wind, and he can also have the forma of a bull, a white horse, a camel, a boar, an adolescent, a bird, a ram, a goat and a warrior with a golden sword.

Even if Verethragna continuously changes of form, he'd still win, and bring victories to his worshippers——to make it simple. After his deification, he was the symbol of what he represents, victory.

It was after Kusanagi Godou killed the god of victory, that he became a young godslayer.

Compilation of the Greenwich assembly, [Report on Kusanagi Godou]

As mentioned in the document above, Kusanagi Godou seized from Verethragna the powers and became [The Persian Warload], and it is deduced that je jas several restrictions.

Since he cannot use this power on his own will, he cannot get to the level of the other godslayers, and he does not have the absolute authority..

However, everyone, please do not forget.

Since his powers seem to be incomplete, it cannot be denied that he is a godslayer, and towards fragile humans such as a mage like me, he is still the devil standing above us.

And thus, Kusanagi Hodou, no matter if it is at that time or now, does have knowledge concerning magic or spells.

Concerning that point it would be proven that: "The highest ranked mage is the godslayer, and the relationship between a mage and a godslayer, is only the similar existence." This statement is the best example of all.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Guest » Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:15 am

kira0802 wrote:Prologue finished. Needs to be heavily proofread.

Mind if I try doing it? I don't see any major errors, just a couple minor ones.
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Re: Campione!

Postby FetchTheDog » Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:17 am

Guest wrote:
kira0802 wrote:Prologue finished. Needs to be heavily proofread.

Mind if I try doing it? I don't see any major errors, just a couple minor ones.

Sorry about that. I didn't know I was logged out. That was my post by the way.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:18 am

FetchTheDog wrote:Sorry about that. I didn't know I was logged out. That was my post by the way.

Then it'd be a lot of help, really. Thanks.
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Re: Campione!

Postby FetchTheDog » Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:47 pm

During the reading, I noticed some sentences that are strange - the order of the sentence seems off or a bit too long. I think changing the order of a sentence or dividing it counts as a "major edit". So I'm bringing them up here:

Spoiler! :
This is the eight paragraph in the prologue:

"Since they have in their hands the power to kill a deity, they can therefore dominate the mortals on Earth."

While it seem normal after reading it a few times, I think "in their hands" should go after "kill a deity". My suggested sentence is:

"Since the power to kill a deity is in their hands,they can therefore dominate the mortals on Earth."

I would also suggest getting rid of "therefore" for it has no meaning to the sentence. However, it really makes no difference if it stays on or off.

Spoiler! :
This is the third last sentence of the prologue:

"Even though his powers seem to be incomplete, it cannot be denied that he is a Campione, and towards fragile humans such as a mage like me, he is still the devil standing above us."

While it makes sense, it reminds me of a situation where my former teacher told me not to rely on "and". I guess it isn't too major but I would prefer:

"Even though his powers seem to be incomplete, it cannot be denied that he is a Campione. Towards fragile humans such as a mage like me, he is still the devil standing above us."

Basically, I am turning your "and" into a period. I want to divide a few more sentences like this but it really isn't too urgent. Also, I really don't want to overwhelming you with what could be just nitpicking. Your English in your translations isn't bad at all (some sentences may be awkward to read) and you haven't made a sentence that is vague or questionable.
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Re: Campione!

Postby Mystes » Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:47 pm

Don't worry about it. You see, I'm a Francophone, and in French, there are often passive forms and long sentences. So that's the reason why I often tend to make long sentences and sticking the clauses together.
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