Campione! General Discussion

[FetchTheDog]

Don't worry about it. You see, I'm a Francophone, and in French, there are often passive forms and long sentences. So that's the reason why I often tend to make long sentences and sticking the clauses together.

I suppose that means I can change them, I think. Also, I should note the changes of 3 sentences. I'm afraid of getting it wrong so I'm recording it here for you to check. The three prologue sentences that are after "Campione – Godslayer – is the -------" all start with "since."(paragraph 6, 8, 10). For "since" has two meanings (since = because; since = previous moment of time) I think you are stating "Because". The sentences will be better if "since" was replaced with "because". It is more common in English and impossible to confuse. I want your input in case I'm wrong.

The 3 sentences:

Spoiler! :

"Since he can kill a celestial being, he can therefore call on the highly divine powers held by the gods."
to
"Because he can kill a celestial being, he can therefore call on the highly divine powers held by the gods."

"Since the power to kill a deity is in their hands, they can therefore dominate the mortals on Earth."
to
"Because the power to kill a deity is in their hands, they can therefore dominate the mortals on Earth."

"Since among mortal ones who live in the world, no one can dare to have the power to match his!"
to
"Because among the mortal ones who live in the world, no one can dare to have the power to match his!"

[Mystes]

Because? It sounds a bit wrong. Using it in front of a sentence makes it sound awkward.

[FetchTheDog]

Because? It sounds a bit wrong. Using it in front of a sentence makes it sound awkward.

I would have to partially admit to that for its a word usually found in a middle of a sentence that connects a subject to an adjective. However in this case, the subject was the sentence before. While "since" was okay, the main reason why I mentioned it was because I didn't notice what those sentences were talking about until after second read through. Unlike "since", "because" has a solid definition. But if you like it, its worth keeping I guess.

[Mystes]

Anyon wants to add references in the prologue? Mithos, Verethragna, Epimetheus and Prometheus aren't known to everyone.

[FetchTheDog]

Anyon wants to add references in the prologue? Mithos, Verethragna, Epimetheus and Prometheus aren't known to everyone.

They're mythological historic eastern gods right? That's what I think at least. I could add Wikipedia links at best. But I never heard of Mithos (other than the tales of symphonia one). Could you mean Mythos?

[Mystes]

They're mythological historic eastern gods right? That's what I think at least. I could add Wikipedia links at best. But I never heard of Mithos (other than the tales of symphonia one). Could you mean Mythos?

Actually, I chose this eries because I am a Roman/Greek mythology hardcore. And indeed, I remember Mithos in ToS.

Permetheus and Epimetheus are brothers in the Greek/Roman mythology.

Mithos (to not be confused with Mitos, Mythos, and such) is an Eastern god, around the same places as in Asian muslim countries.

Well, I can add them myself.

[Mystes]

Chapter 1 finished. I'll do Chapter 2 too.

[FetchTheDog]

Chapter 1 finished. I'll do Chapter 2 too.

Then I'll read it over. I'll only fix words and grammar for now.

[ShadowZeroHeart]

Chapter 1 finished. I'll do Chapter 2 too.

If your continuing on it, is it a project? or just more teasers?

[Mystes]

Perhaps a project that I'll turn. However, I won't have time during the year to translate like that, so I'm considering the options.

[Darklor]

Will you also complete chapter 5 of vol 5? I am only curious since you have already started this chapter some time ago.

[Mystes]

Will you also complete chapter 5 of vol 5? I am only curious since you have already started this chapter some time ago.

Hmm...I'll think about it, but I'll probably want to finish chapter 2 first.

[FetchTheDog]

I find this sentence awkward and vague in chapter 2:

"Godou was doing his possible to keep distance and continuously retreated."

"...doing his possible" isn't proper for it implies no real meaning. The word isn't meant for that use; it doesn't state how well Goudou's trying to keep his distance. I can't just change it either for I don't know what "possible" is trying to mean. I think the word "best" could be used for it is an statement/form of description. Would any of these sentences work?

"Godou was doing his best to keep distance and continuously retreated."

"Godou was trying to keep distance as much as possible and continuously retreated."

"Godou tried his best to keep distance and continuously retreated."

[Mystes]

"Godou was doing his best to keep distance and continuously retreated."

If I remember well, it should be this one. However, since I'm not sure, I'll check it as soon as possible.

[Mystes]

Can someone move this topic?