[ch 0] Prologue - clarification

Post by **Nandeyanen** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:13 pm

Maybe something along the lines of; "After we passed through the school gate, Taniguchi was still half laughing." or "...Tanigchi seemed as if he was only halfway finished with laughing."

harunako · Post by **harunako** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:33 pm

The later line sounds good enough.

Post by **Nandeyanen** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:39 pm

"Koizumi? Are you dating your girlfriend?"

Might be better as, "Koizumi, will you be on a date with your girlfriend?". Perhaps post the original sentence so I can get a better idea?

harunako · Post by **harunako** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:42 pm

「古泉くんは？彼女とデートとかするの？」

To be honest, I do not see any difference between what I wrote and what you have suggested. Please advise on the difference you perceive.

onizuka-gto · Post by **onizuka-gto** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 7:33 pm

well in my opinion one, is more formal then the other.

Harunako version seems suitable for haruhi, as when she's not on the charm offensive, she is blunt and to the point.

Just what the current version is.

Post by **Nandeyanen** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:17 pm

Well, "will you be on a date" is future tense, asking if he will be busy at that specified time, whereas "Are you dating" seems to be present progressive which does not refer to a specific time. "will you be on a date/are you going to be on a date" refers to a specific future event at a certain time. To make it a bit more blunt, maybe have it be "Are you going to be on a date with your girlfriend?"

harunako · Post by **harunako** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 9:51 pm

It would turn into talks of English grammar, I can see

...

Present continuous tense can actually convey future meaning, expressing plans and prearrangements that is stronger than the normal "will/shall." "Is going to v" is viable, but the sentence is too clumsy. Normally in situations like this, present continuous tense will be used -- "Are you going for the tennis match this Sunday?" or "Are you attending the wedding next month?"

Therefore I believe no change is necessary.

(Any native English speaker for objective reference?)

Light02 · Post by **Light02** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 10:11 pm

English is my Native lanagage I might be able to lend a hand with this but I need the scene in question to know what needs to be worked around

SubordinateFive · Post by **SubordinateFive** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:14 am

I second the motion. (English is my native language too.) And please provide both the Japanese and English versions, of course.

Post by **Nandeyanen** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:15 am

Basically, Haruhi asks: "Anyone have prior plans for Christmas Eve?" and then after asking Kyon, she asks: "Koizumi, Are you dating your girlfriend?"

I believe that the sentence sounds more correct/natural as, "Koizumi, are you going to be on a date with your girlfriend?" Maybe it's just me, but "Are you dating your girlfriend?" kind of sounds like "Are you dating anyone?" and in that context, "date" seems to hold a slightly different meaning (yes, I know, it's a verb...). Also, are you dating your girlfriend also seems to be redundant and unnecessary in that kind of sentence, as most people only date their girlfriends/boyfriends. I suppose that the main issue with the sentence is that it needs something to give it future tense? Perhaps, "Koizumi, will you be dating your girlfriend?" but still, I feel that the "are you going to be on a date" more accurately reflects the feel of the meaning of the sentence. I've also had some of my friends look over that portion, and they also agree that it sounds odd. The main issue is that I'm just rather terrible at explaining the reasoning behind my edits

.

Also, on a different note, "...Tanigchi seemed as if he was only halfway finished with laughing." also needs some reworking, though I don't really don't have any ideas on how to fix it. I just have never heard "half finished with laughing" used before...

harunako · Post by **harunako** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:46 am

Sorry, but I still do not see the point. I need to be convinced to change the wordings.

For the "half laughing" portion, yes, outside help is necessary. My preferred translation is still "When we pass through the school gate, Taniguchi was like he was halfway through his laughs."

...Yeah, greatly appreciate it if Chapter 1 can be edited as well.

harunako · Post by **harunako** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 4:43 pm

SubordinateFive wrote:I second the motion. (English is my native language too.) And please provide both the Japanese and English versions, of course.

What exactly should I provide again? The original Japanese text and translations so far are posted previously. If you want the whole scene in Japanese, I'm afraid that is too much work for me to type out everything.

Light02 · Post by **Light02** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:47 pm

harunako wrote:
SubordinateFive wrote:I second the motion. (English is my native language too.) And please provide both the Japanese and English versions, of course.
What exactly should I provide again? The original Japanese text and translations so far are posted previously. If you want the whole scene in Japanese, I'm afraid that is too much work for me to type out everything.

just the paragraph or two where the line in question is to give it context is what I was asking for.

SubordinateFive · Post by **SubordinateFive** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:08 pm

Light02 wrote:just the paragraph or two where the line in question is to give it context is what I was asking for.

That's what I (also) meant by that. Sorry for the confusion.

And you're right--it is a lot to type out, even with a Japanese computer.

Light02: is this what you were asking for? (copied from above posts)

校門を過ぎながら谷口は半分笑った顔する。
Current translation: "When we pass through the school gate, Taniguchi was like he was halfway through his laughs." (harunako's preferred translation)

「古泉くんは？彼女とデートとかするの？」
Current translation: "Koizumi? Are you dating your girlfriend?" (Nandeyanen's preferred translation)

Light02 · Post by **Light02** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:12 pm

When we pass through the school gate, Taniguchi was like he was halfway through his laughs

hmm...I'd probably say this "As we passed through the school gate, Taniguchi laughing at some unknow joke" - though was it mentioned why he was laughing?

Koizumi? Are you dating your girlfriend

this one is a bit more difficult though I'd probably say "Are you dating a girl currently Koizumi?"

keep in mind this is just how I would write it I could be wrong