Editing help: Change to past tense

[harunako]

Editors (esp. Nandeyanen): One help I am requesting: change present tense in Prologue to past tense. As I moved on to Ch1, I have a stronger feeling that past tense is more appropriate.

[Nandeyanen]

Any specific parts? Or just overall? Some parts don't seem to make much sense with past tense though... For example, "it is winter now" or some of Kyon's thoughts (ex. "It's fine to be freaking high-spirited, but what's the basis?"). I suppose some parts should stay the way they are currently. I'll try to go through it later on today and figure out what can be changed.

[harunako]

Overall should be past tense.

The series is notorious for Kyon's "thought leak," in which his monologue (not in quotations) are sometimes heard by other characters. Combined with normal narrative (in past tense), this makes determining the appropriate tense a challenge. (Even in the original text, present and past tenses are interweaved...) My temporary solution is to put anything resembling a monologue / "thought leak" in present tense in italics.

I'll leave to the editors to decide how the issue will be handled.

[Tanuki]

Any specific parts? Or just overall? Some parts don't seem to make much sense with past tense though... For example, "it is winter now" or some of Kyon's thoughts (ex. "It's fine to be freaking high-spirited, but what's the basis?"). I suppose some parts should stay the way they are currently. I'll try to go through it later on today and figure out what can be changed.

Wouldn't "It's fine to be freaking high-spirited, but what's the reason?" be better here?

[Nandeyanen]

Harunako: After I went through it, I'm not sure whether it's more appropriate for to be altered to past tense. It sort of seems like Kyon is recollecting his memories, and then going through them as if they're just occuring, in which case, present tense would be appropriate.

Tanuki: I find it to be fine as it is. Reason/reasoning works, but basis also makes sense.

[harunako]

No problem. I have changed the tense somehow, but I dun mind if the editors edit again as appropriate.

[filthychimp]

Tanuki: I find it to be fine as it is. Reason/reasoning works, but basis also makes sense.

I think it doesn't make any sense. Since the full quote is:

"'It's fine to be freaking high-spirited, but what's your basis? Share some of that with me.''

I edited it to this:

"It's not bad to so be freaking hyper, but where do you get it from? Share some of that with me."

Kyon is being somewhat condescending here, so "not bad" fits better than "fine". I get the impression that Taniguchi is so happy he bounces around like a kid on a sugar rush, so "hyper" works. Since Kyon wants some of it, he wants to know what the source is. In common english, "where do you get it from" asks that question perfectly and continues Kyon's slightly condescending tone.

If Kyon wants to know why Taniguchi is in high spirits, then

"It's not bad to be so freaking hyper, but why are you?"

is correct. But then it makes "Share some of that with me" not make sense, so he's probably asking for the source.

[filthychimp]

As for the actual topic, present tense in storytelling is annoying in english. Kyon is forced to swtich to different tenses during a "thought leak" because of necessity, so it's easy to figure out where present and past is appropriate.

[Nandeyanen]

I think that when editing/interpreting the text, you generally want to keep it as close to the original wording as possible, as the translator is correct most of the time. The only main issues that translators usually have are changing expressions from japanese to english, changes in grammar, and other minor mistakes such as in spelling while they're busy translating.

As for your editing of the sentence, I think it flows much less smoothly than how it was originally. Kyon sees that Taniguchi is in high spirits (because he finally has a date) and wants for him to share his good mood.