Edits by the Masses [Mult. Chaps.]

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Omio
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Edits by the Masses [Mult. Chaps.]

Post by Omio »

Close to the start:
"Suzumiya-saaaan, tea is ready."
Instead use:
"Suzumiya-sa~an, tea is ready."
...?

Sorry, but it just pumps up the idea of 'Cute'. LUZ
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onizuka-gto
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Post by onizuka-gto »

thing is, the current one makes more sense then replacing it with the tidal symbol.

i think it conveys the intention pretty well.

The tidal symbol will only make it slightly more confusing.
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Post by Jumpyshoes »

Tidal symbol.... Tilde?
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Omio
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Post by Omio »

onizuka-gto wrote:Thing is, the current one makes more sense then replacing it with the tilde symbol.

I think it conveys the intention pretty well.

The tilde symbol will only make it slightly more confusing.
...Not sure about the confusion, but agreed, no need to change it. The meaning is the same; barely.

Next one...
I think it's marvelous. For me, her charm has increased by at least 36%.

"Jerk."

Just as I was wondering how to react to this, I realized she was only pretending to be angry. I ought to have known better.
Add an ellipsis before 'Jerk.', to convey that the thoughts took some time, maybe?


And allow me to say... Good job - I haven't picked up anything too nasty as of late for possible edits.
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