Maria-sama ga Miteru

[Molenir]

On of the great things about the wiki format, is that it allows anyone to make edits. And then if later people decide they were not as good, they can then be reversed. I myself have made lots of small changes to the translations. Mostly stuff having to do with punctuation, and grammar. My point is, that rather then suggesting, edits, go ahead and make them. Don't expect others to do it for you. If you see something that can be improved, please help out.

And I also would like to thank Enn_are for the latest volume. So glad I can finally read all but volume 12. (small poke) Really hoping volume 23 is next up.

[[-]]

As somebody who does some translating I have some ambivalent feelings about editing somebody's work without letting him/her know in advance. For one I wouldn't really want anybody to touch my translations without asking me about my opinion. If it were just typos, punctation and grammar erros then sure, I guess I could do that. But most of those 'corrections' are just nuance. Not only that in some cases I make blind guesses as to what the original text actually says.

I mean sure, if enn_are were to show up and say 'yeah, whatever, I couldn't care less, do as you please' then I guess I'd do just that but again, those translations are not my hard work and as such I believe asking the translator for his/her approval (and sometimes his/her opinion on the matter, as with 'one word' vs 'two words') is the right thing to do.

If anything I guess I didn't have to post that stuff here, should've sent enn_are a PM or something. Didn't really think of that when I posted.

[enn_are]

Hi everyone, and welcome to all the new members.

I removed the link to this thread from the main page because of the recent changes to the forum which made the Auxiliary Brigades section and all threads in it private, so people have to register just to view it. That sort of thing really annoys me, so I'd rather not visit it upon others. If people think it's still valuable it can be put back - although there's been a spike of activity since it was removed, so not having it there seems to be good advertising

Thanks for the feedback [-], real life's been a bit hectic this last week so I haven't had a chance to go through your suggestions and the original just yet, but I should be able to do that sometime in the next few days and I'll post a more detailed response / update the wiki then.

[enn_are]

I finally had time to go through this in more detail. Thanks for taking the time to write this up [-], and I appreciate the feedback even if I don't agree with it all.

:: Volume 8 - Beloved Times (Part 2)

Farewell Gift
Part 1: 'Regardless of what the thirty other girls in the class thought, it had all been settled in one instant by one word from one person.'

Normally I wouldn't have marked this but since the person who translated this line - enn_are - can share her thoughts on this matter I might as well ask about it. Even though I don't have the original at hand so that I could consult it I'm pretty sure the 'one word from one person' is 'arigatou'. The thing is the English 'thank you' is not a single word, even if you write it as 'thank-you'. Personally I'm actually fine with this translation either way as 'one word from one person' puts the emphasis on how little it took and how much it meant. 'Two words from one person' would be 'more correct' but it doesn't sound as good I guess.

I think that changing it to "two words" diffuses the impact from the repetition of "one," so I wouldn't go with that. There may be other better options, like "one phrase" / "one sentence" but I'll leave it as is for now.

Farewell Gift
Part 2: 'Which meant that the person beside Yumi was none other than the self-styled "Photography club ace."'

Maybe it's just me but I think 'self styled "ace of photography club".' would sound much better.

I agree that it's an awkward phrase. I'm not too keen on the current translation, but I'm not 100% sold on "ace of photography club" either - to me that's missing either pluralization or the definite article "the." "Ace of the photography club" doesn't have the same direct correlation to the playing card "ace of clubs" while "ace of photography clubs" would tend to imply a photography club that is better than all other clubs, rather than an individual club member. That pushed me towards "ace of photography club members" which is even longer and more awkward. I don't have a good answer to this.

Spring Breeze
Part 2: 'On the day of the entrance ceremony, I'd heard the gossip from my classmates that her exquisite foreign features and melancholy expression made her look totally sexy.'

'Totally sexy' sounds weird from the mouth of a Lillian student. Even if 'セクシ' is actually used in the original - which is possible I guess but doesn't sound very likely - English 'sexy' carries a slightly different connotation. It's hard to suggest an alternative to 'sexy' given I don't know what word was actually used in the original. 'Alluring' would be a blind guess.

I agree that it sounds wrong coming from Shimako. It's supposed to be a quote from the classmate's gossip, so I'll change the text to reflect that. In that context I think it's fine.

::Volume 9 - Cherry Blossom (Sakura)

Maria and Maitreya
Part 2: '"No, it can't have been."'

Might be just me again. I certainly don't plan to point out everything that doesn't sound 'おじょっぽい' so I'm not particularly concerned with stuff like 'I'd heard' from the previous example. But in this case 'it can't have been' makes Noriko sound kinda country bumpkin-ish. It just doesn't feel right even though Noriko is a bit of a country bumpkin compared to your average Lillian student.

I don't understand - it sounds normal to me, but that may just be saying more about me than anything else. What specifically makes it sound country bumpkin-ish and do you have any alternate suggestions?

The Maria Ceremony Inquisition
Part 4: 'The strength drained from Noriko's body, and she fell on her ass.'

Now now, we can't have that, can we? Surely she fell on her bottom or something of the sort, right?

IMO "fell on her bottom" sounds too immature, ie. targeted at a younger audience. Fell on her butt, maybe. Either way, I think it's fairly clear what happened.

When the Cherry Blossoms Fall
Part 2: '"True story. Whenever she has free time, Shimako-san goes to the back of the school building alone to look at cherry blossoms. Katsura-san from wisteria class told me today."'

'True story' sounds plain weird. Unfortunately I don't have any suggestions as to what it should be replaced with. 'It's true' is plain but it does it's job. 'I heard that, too' isn't any better but at least it makes sense considering 'Katsura-san from wisteria class told me today' comes right after it.

It's a colloquialism that seemed fitting. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/true-story

When the Cherry Blossoms Fall
Part 4: 'Perhaps this was how generational change happened. Yumi's heart was filled with a phrase she'd never had cause to use before, "Kids these days"'

Same problem with 'kids these days'. In this case it's probably fine to leave it as it is since 'kids these days' is a commonly used phrase and the most straight-forward translation of '最近の若者' (if that's what was used in the original that is). Personally I'd rather have some like 'today's youth' but maybe it's just me.

The whole point of the phrase is that it's a stereotypical complaint by old people, and not the sort of thing a high school student would say. Maybe kids these days have the luxury of being called "the youth of today", but it was a lot different when I was growing up.

8-3 = Right
Part 1: 'So sit down.'

This is a big question mark for me. Is this meant to be something Shimako says? That doesn't seem to be the case but if I'm wrong then it should be denoted as such using quotation marks. Is it something Yumi just thinks to herself? Or is it simply a constative sentence?

It's not spoken, it's not Yumi's thoughts. It's more the implied continuation of Shimako's sentence and the resulting action that Yumi takes.

::Volume 10 - Rainy Blue

Suspicious Clouds
Part 3: '"Huh? That's awful! What the hell was Sachiko-sama thinking!?"'

Even if most of those girls think nothing of Christianity 'what the hell' sounds out of place.

Yoshino can be pretty fiery. For most other characters I'd go with "What the heck." Feel free to suggest an alternative.

::Volume 11 - Holding a Parasol

Prologue
'She hadn't thought she be so simply handed off to someone else, with a "Sorry for troubling you with her."'

Simply change 'she be' to 'she'd be' and it works fine.

Okay.

White Parasol
Part 3: '"Why that's absurd. Yumi-sama is an adored onee-sama to all the first-years."'

This is probably not the only place with punctation issues but I simply didn't pay attention to those. As to why this one in particular bothers me I don't know myself. Either way a comma after 'why' seems to be needed here.

Okay.

Well, that's it. I might do something similar for Vols 12-22 in the future if those unimportant edits are welcome and not just a waste of the translators' time. I didn't even check whether all you need to do to edit the translations is simply to register an account but even if that is the case I'd rather ask the translators for an opinion rather than change their translations as I please.

Out of that block, I've only translated 13 and 14. The translators for the first part of 12 and 15-21 aren't active any more, and rydenius is currently translating the remainder of volume 12. I'm fine with you continuing to provide suggestions - I think all of your points were valid, even if I haven't adopted your suggestions. IIRC anonymous edits are allowed on everything except the main page, so you don't even need a wiki account to edit. Feel free to correct any grammar mistakes directly.

Last but certainly not least, thanks again for translating Marimite!

Hey, no problem.

[[-]]

I'd much rather talk about this using PMs but as it turns out 'newly registered users' can't send those. Bummer.

I think that changing it to "two words" diffuses the impact from the repetition of "one," so I wouldn't go with that.

Fair enough.

I don't understand - it sounds normal to me, but that may just be saying more about me than anything else. What specifically makes it sound country bumpkin-ish and do you have any alternate suggestions?

'It couldn't have been'. And yes, even if it refers to something that happened just a second ago. But again, it might be just me arbitrarily attaching connotation to phrases where there's none. Feel free to ignore this.

IMO "fell on her bottom" sounds too immature, ie. targeted at a younger audience. Fell on her butt, maybe. Either way, I think it's fairly clear what happened.

'Butt' is fine I guess, I'm fine with either 'bottom' or 'butt'. 'Ass' sounds quite crude.

It's a colloquialism that seemed fitting. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/true-story

The fact that 'true story' is something you hear(/see) on the 'net quite often is precisely what throws me off but to each his own.

It's not spoken, it's not Yumi's thoughts. It's more the implied continuation of Shimako's sentence and the resulting action that Yumi takes.

Ah, I see it now. I wonder if it's just me who had trouble understanding that. Maybe changing it from 'So sit down.' to '... so sit down.' would make it a bit easier to understand?

Yoshino can be pretty fiery. For most other characters I'd go with "What the heck." Feel free to suggest an alternative.

She can and if you think about her personality and the whole situation I guess 'what the hell' might be justified. I'd rather have something like '"Just what in the world was Sachiko-sama thinking!?"' but I guess I'm just nitpicking.

I'm fine with you continuing to provide suggestions - I think all of your points were valid, even if I haven't adopted your suggestions.

I might try to compile all the setences that sound off to me again then. I'll try to post that somewhere visible... hopefully not in this topic as it feels like I'm littering. Then again a pastebin link would be fine I guess.

IIRC anonymous edits are allowed on everything except the main page, so you don't even need a wiki account to edit. Feel free to correct any grammar mistakes directly.

I'll do just that.

[rydenius]

Hi enn_are, congratulations on finishing volume 14!
Ah, I was wondering why you'd removed the forum link, so that makes sense now. I liked it there for personal convenience, but I can see why that'd be annoying with the forum now private. On the other hand if it got people to register that might not be a bad thing.
I'm really glad to see you taking on Vol. 24. I think we should probably replace my translation with yours once you catch it up, since my work was manly as a preview anyway (the grammar was quite difficult for me at the time I did that chapter). I've also got a fair bit of text from chapter 2 that a did a few years ago that I can post inside hidden tags if it would be helpful to you in doing your translation of chapter 2. Let me know.

For users who want to edit my translations, as long as it's not too nit-picky, feel free. Particularly, anyone is welcome to fix grammar and spelling issues. What I did on Vol 34 chapter 1 is going to need major revision though, since I translated that much too literally and it came out awful... so unless Enn_are beats me to it, I'll definitely be revisiting that one at a later date. If you guys see something questionable, that doesn't parse right or is out of character, let me know and I can post the original text here and we can parse over it to see where the problem is.

@ Molenir, I've been a bit busy prepping for the N4 exam lately, but I do have some time today, so I should be able to get the next section of vol 12 ch3 done in the next day or two. Only two shortish sections left on that monster 7 section chapter, yay!

[nisepanda]

I'm sorry...
I know it's rude but...
simply put, I can't go on reading to volume 13 because the volume 12 is not done yet...

thank you...

[Cthaeh]

I can't go on reading to volume 13 because the volume 12 is not done yet...

This happens often enough, and I'm sure the translators are already aware that people generally prefer reading in order. Sometimes translators work on the parts they enjoy most, and sometimes it's just that multiple translators work at different paces, in which case you're really getting the overall translation at a faster pace, even if the part you want to read right at the moment is going slower.

But also, I think if you tried, you'd find that you are actually capable of reading volume 13. I've skipped volumes before, so I know it is in fact physically possible, however much you might feel compelled to go for linearity.

[[-]]

Like nisepanda said this might be a rude thing to suggest but...

rydenius, have you considered letting enn_are take over the translation of Vol 12? (If enn_are is also fine with that of course.) I'm not questioning your commitment to the project but it's clear that you're rather busy at the moment. Personally I couldn't care less about the order the novels get translated in but I'm sure there are a lot of people like nisepanda who are hellbent on reading things in proper order. There are 10 additional volumes they could read (and enjoy hopefully) if 12 were to get fully translated.

You could pick up Volume 26 or 34 instead and work on those without feeling like you're being rushed.

[ontomatter]

Thanks to all for continuing to translate the books. It's really appreciated.
I was curious if there were any plans to translate the sister series and the if the manga is/was translated.

[enn_are]

Hi ontomatter,

I've got no plans for the spinoff series - there's still 8 volumes of the main series to go and that's going to take a while. As for the manga, I'm only aware of the incomplete/dropped lililicious translation.

[ontomatter]

Thanks for the information. I wasn't expecting you to start on the spin-off series, I just wanted to see what the status was. I'm going to look for the partial manga translation you mentioned.

[rydenius]

Sorry guys, I've been away from Baka-Tsuki a while. I had various things happen: hard drive crash, flu, JLPT N4 exam, etc. and after that just got out of the habit of working on the chapter, and hadn't really been reading or doing any light novel stuff for a while.

NR was always welcome to take over at any point. My intent was just to fill in until NR caught up. I've only got a page and a half left to translate in chapter 3, so I might as well finish that, but I don't know when I'll have time to work on the remaining chapters, so it'd definitely be better for someone else to take over the remaining chapters.

[[-]]

Hello.

Being obrusive, importunate and just annoying period is no hobby of mine but since it looks like enn_are doesn't have e-mail notifications enabled I figured I might as well post in this thread in hopes this might be a better method of grabbing your attention.
So, uhm, yeah. Here I am. I sent you a PM.

More importantly great job on finishing the translation of yet another volume!

[enn_are]

Oh, sorry about that, I haven't logged in to the forums for a couple of months - my password expired and it wouldn't let me change it, so I've just been reading things as a guest for a while.

With regards to volume 12, I'm not going to work on it any time soon. I think rydenius is doing a great job and I'd love to see him finish it, but I understand if he's busy with other things.