Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

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How did you find the quality of translation?

Great!
633
89%
Okay but lacking a nice flow
48
7%
Some awkward lines but okay
27
4%
Quite rough with terrible flow
0
No votes
Ahhh!!! The grammar is killing me!
4
1%
 
Total votes: 712

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VandiZXC
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by VandiZXC »

Ugghhh, Yeaaah!!!!
Thanks for translating Volume 8 Chapter 2 and Interlude translators out there. :lol:
I'm cheering u guys to translating next chapter. \ :D /
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royaloyalz
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by royaloyalz »

Too bad I won't spoil myself by reading them before volume 7 finishes hehehe.

On the flip side, this means that when I finish volume 7 I will immediately be able to enjoy volume 8 muahhahaha :lol:

Ah well I guess I will go find something else to kill time while I wait for them to come out :D
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VandiZXC
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by VandiZXC »

now u said it.....
ermm yeah i got no choice to read it XD
Volume 7 Chapter 8 to 10 - Epilogue not yet translated :lol:
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by thelazyguy »

Are there any similar light novels in plot to this? With perhaps less fan service...

I sorta read the first 6 volumes just to see him get back Restia. And now I just want to see him dual wield Restia and Est...
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by royaloyalz »

Haha yea!

One thing that I noticed though, this LN is actually quite a bit shorter than most other LN isn't it? I think it has lesser content in terms of pages? Or maybe it is because I am used to reading chapters with more amount of pages therefore I find it a little off when I read STnBD because I can finish reading a chapter in this LN in roughly 30-45 minutes max, including going through it for editing. Not that it is a bad thing, but just saying it you know? Hehehhe :lol:
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by KuroiHikari »

royaloyalz wrote:Haha yea!

One thing that I noticed though, this LN is actually quite a bit shorter than most other LN isn't it? I think it has lesser content in terms of pages? Or maybe it is because I am used to reading chapters with more amount of pages therefore I find it a little off when I read STnBD because I can finish reading a chapter in this LN in roughly 30-45 minutes max, including going through it for editing. Not that it is a bad thing, but just saying it you know? Hehehhe :lol:
Page-wise, it's similar, but almost every 'paragraph' is one sentence of relatively simple sentences. It's also broken down into more chapters.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by royaloyalz »

KuroiHikari wrote:
royaloyalz wrote:Haha yea!

One thing that I noticed though, this LN is actually quite a bit shorter than most other LN isn't it? I think it has lesser content in terms of pages? Or maybe it is because I am used to reading chapters with more amount of pages therefore I find it a little off when I read STnBD because I can finish reading a chapter in this LN in roughly 30-45 minutes max, including going through it for editing. Not that it is a bad thing, but just saying it you know? Hehehhe :lol:
Page-wise, it's similar, but almost every 'paragraph' is one sentence of relatively simple sentences. It's also broken down into more chapters.
Indeed it is hahahaha. However, one cannot help but ask for more in terms of content which will translate into more pages but then that would mean that you guys will have to spend more time to translate so it becomes a vicious cycle hahaha! Anyways, I will help you change what you have mentioned to me, and I will post my questions up on the discussion page soon.

And once again thanks for starting this project and helping to translate such an awesome LN for us :lol:
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by thelazyguy »

KuroiHikari wrote:
royaloyalz wrote:Haha yea!

One thing that I noticed though, this LN is actually quite a bit shorter than most other LN isn't it? I think it has lesser content in terms of pages? Or maybe it is because I am used to reading chapters with more amount of pages therefore I find it a little off when I read STnBD because I can finish reading a chapter in this LN in roughly 30-45 minutes max, including going through it for editing. Not that it is a bad thing, but just saying it you know? Hehehhe :lol:
Page-wise, it's similar, but almost every 'paragraph' is one sentence of relatively simple sentences. It's also broken down into more chapters.
On my nook, Seirei Tsuki no Blade Dance has like one-third to one-half the pages of Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei per volume.

So I concur. I want more plot instead of fan service! =[
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by royaloyalz »

thelazyguy wrote: On my nook, Seirei Tsuki no Blade Dance has like one-third to one-half the pages of Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei per volume.

So I concur. I want more plot instead of fan service! =[
You know, I was actually comparing between STnBD and MKnR too, but I think that is a rather unfair comparison since MKnR really has a lot of content in it. Maybe comparing it to some other LN would be better. In any case, this is also a pretty good story, and we still have 2-3 volumes more before translation catches up to the latest volume, so when that happens we will still have plenty of content to go through :lol:
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by zzhk »

アルファス教国 = Alphas Empire

The use of "Empire" to translate 教国 has been bothering me, so I took a look at the passage where the country was first introduced:

Volume 4 Chapter 2 (which requires a bit of TLC, in my opinion):
Alphas Empire — from East to West respectively, a small country sandwiched between the two major principalities, Ordesia Empire and Dracunia — the Dragon Empire. Their main resource was the spirit ore which was excavated from mines. But, in order to bring such an enormous fortune for a small country like that, the people would have had to barter for advanced excavation equipment sourced from ancient ruins similar to the ones that held the «Gates».

Though it was unconfirmed, many people alleged the country to be the headquarters for the organization of the Dark Traders Murders (Corpse Federation).

But for this country to be able to ward off any confrontation from the two super powers on its land, there must have been extremely skillful diplomacy on the part of the founding leaders.
(Anyway, do your best and keep improving, chancs. You're still learning after all.)

First of all, it's a small country, so "Empire" seems a little off. Since the country seems to be ruled by a religious administration, it's probably more correct to parse the name as (アルファス教)(国), i.e. Nation of the Alphas Religion. Hence I propose the "Alphas Theocracy" as an alternative, which also means "The Theocracy" can be used whenever the text uses 教国 as the short form.

Rather than "founding leaders," 教主 should be a single person -- the head of the religious state, so something akin to the Pope of Catholicism or the Caliph in the Islamic Empire. Taking the example of modern Iran, the position could be called Supreme Leader, but the title alone loses its religious undertones. "Hierarch" would be a kind of dictionary translation, but would it fly over reader's heads? Other suggestions for 教主?

Tangentially, there's also 鉱石 which can be translated as ore, mineral or crystal (though I suppose Starcraft players are probably indoctrinated with the notion that minerals = crystals). Since ore refers to an unrefined form, whenever spirit ores are being used, the scenes conjure images of girls holding unsightly rocks in their hands. Hardly fitting especially when some of these "ores" are described as priceless (such as the one Fianna used). Also, having certain establishments illuminated by glowing crystals would be more fashionable/stylish than glowing rocks.

Hence, I also propose that "spirit ore" be updated to "spirit crystals."
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by thelazyguy »

Hierarch is the only word that comes to mind when I think of religious leaders in the context of an empire.

Stylistically, I agree with the crystal change. I've been imagining it as crystals embedded in rocks. XD

The rest, I don't know Japanese at all, so no input there.

Out of curiosity, do you have a list of Chinese => English proper nouns? I just found baka-tsuki a few days ago, and my impatience has made me want to attempt reading the Chinese translations even though my grasp of Chinese is at an intermediate HSK level.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by KuroiHikari »

zzhk wrote:アルファス教国 = Alphas Empire

The use of "Empire" to translate 教国 has been bothering me, so I took a look at the passage where the country was first introduced:

Volume 4 Chapter 2 (which requires a bit of TLC, in my opinion):
Alphas Empire — from East to West respectively, a small country sandwiched between the two major principalities, Ordesia Empire and Dracunia — the Dragon Empire. Their main resource was the spirit ore which was excavated from mines. But, in order to bring such an enormous fortune for a small country like that, the people would have had to barter for advanced excavation equipment sourced from ancient ruins similar to the ones that held the «Gates».

Though it was unconfirmed, many people alleged the country to be the headquarters for the organization of the Dark Traders Murders (Corpse Federation).

But for this country to be able to ward off any confrontation from the two super powers on its land, there must have been extremely skillful diplomacy on the part of the founding leaders.
(Anyway, do your best and keep improving, chancs. You're still learning after all.)

First of all, it's a small country, so "Empire" seems a little off. Since the country seems to be ruled by a religious administration, it's probably more correct to parse the name as (アルファス教)(国), i.e. Nation of the Alphas Religion. Hence I propose the "Alphas Theocracy" as an alternative, which also means "The Theocracy" can be used whenever the text uses 教国 as the short form.

Rather than "founding leaders," 教主 should be a single person -- the head of the religious state, so something akin to the Pope of Catholicism or the Caliph in the Islamic Empire. Taking the example of modern Iran, the position could be called Supreme Leader, but the title alone loses its religious undertones. "Hierarch" would be a kind of dictionary translation, but would it fly over reader's heads? Other suggestions for 教主?
Hmm, this is probably an oversight(or laziness) on my part. "Empire" did bug me but...
Theocracy works.
As for Hierarch, well, the readers ought learn new words anyway
zzhk wrote:Tangentially, there's also 鉱石 which can be translated as ore, mineral or crystal (though I suppose Starcraft players are probably indoctrinated with the notion that minerals = crystals). Since ore refers to an unrefined form, whenever spirit ores are being used, the scenes conjure images of girls holding unsightly rocks in their hands. Hardly fitting especially when some of these "ores" are described as priceless (such as the one Fianna used). Also, having certain establishments illuminated by glowing crystals would be more fashionable/stylish than glowing rocks.

Hence, I also propose that "spirit ore" be updated to "spirit crystals."
No issue with this, I'm amazed no one else raised this up. Haha, the whole ore image always felt strange for me.

So, editors, you know what to do, else I'll do it myself next weekend if I don't have duty =(
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by royaloyalz »

Done. Took me a little longer than expected, but I think I got them all, at least up till volume 7.

Sorry that I can't do volume 8 yet, mainly because I am unwilling to spoil myself haha.

Anyways, I have yet to post my questions, so I guess I will tomorrow when I get the time.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by VandiZXC »

I don't have any comment for all of this, hahaha :lol:
I'm just enjoying reading this kind of LN that's all :lol:
though the story so far was good enough to kill my times reading this XD
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by carinderyeah »

Hello guys, just read through Epilogue of Vol. 7 and found this sentence in the text.
Spoiler! :
The girl's awareness was brought back to the present from her reminiscing.
I didn't change it because I don't know what would be the best substitute word for reminiscing in the sentence. Totally reads weird to me.

edit
Spoiler! :
Completely mercilessly, Claire summoned Flametongue.
another one at Ch. 1 of Vol. 7, the -ly somewhat reads weird again. . lol.

edit 2
Spoiler! :
"...You two's answers really add nothing to the discussion."
got another one guys at part 4 of Ch. 2 Vol. 7 . .

edit 3
Spoiler! :
" " "...~!" " "
this one at Ch. 4 of Vol 7 part 1, is it supposed to be like that? guys?

edit 4
Spoiler! :
(Is that so, using flames to diorient light around the body--)
edited it. .

edit 5
Spoiler! :
"...Ooh, Kami... to-san..."
"Rinslet?"
"...Ah, Kamito-san, where are you touching, so perverted!"
"Wha!?"
...Was she talking in her dreams? She must be having some sort of outrageous dream.
"Y-You, y-you're doing what in her dreams...?"
Claire glared with a frightening gaze.
"W-Wait a minute, how could you hold me responsible for this!?"
[s]last one, the underline one. I am somewhat confused in the flow of the dialogue's. (the underlined one was in 3rd person and it somehow got connected to Claire's dialogue, which is the source of my confusion.)[/s]

nvm. My mistake, Rinslet was actually talking in her dreams. .


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